Thursday, April 9, 2015

Perfectionism and Diabetes

I know as a Type 1 Diabetic things have never been easy. I also know that I make things more difficult for myself because of this need to strive for perfection. I know that it is not possible in any Diabetics life to achieve this but my mind disagrees even though I know I am wrong. I struggled for most of my time as a diabetic with the fact that if I saw a 200 or high blood sugar I was angry mad and disappointed with myself because I had failed I think I was around 6 years old at the time. I know it seems so very sad to think that way but I have been a perfectionist and so was my mother.

I know that wanting such goals that I have can create frustration, anxiety and other issues because they are not realistic. I know I tend to go overboard with things like weight loss which equaled my eating disorder in my teens and twenties. I know I am better now than I used to be but I still have to stop myself at times. The perfectionism can really cause you to get your down and anxious if you let it. I know I continually have to remind myself at times that things are not realistic and I need to set more realistic goals. I know that I do try to change my need to be a perfectionist but I also am aware you can only change so much. So I do continue to try and keep my perspective a little more healthy. These days I know I still struggle greatly with seeing high numbers but at least I am trying.

I know I will never be able to be where I want to be but I know that if I do the best I can that should be good enough especially with my Diabetes. Life is too short to get my self trapped in a cycle of unrealistic goals and mindset. I know all of perfectionist tend to struggle with other issues because of our own critical nature. So I know I will always have to fight with myself to keep me on the right path. I know today I feel good that I am not struggling with my eating disorder as much because I have worked so hard to change my mindset of how I view my body. I know I still have moments where I think if I lose another 10 pounds and then I realize that I get to points I don't want to stop losing weight.

I know I have experienced some good things from being a perfectionist such as reaching goals that others have not ever reached but also can lead me to being run down because I over estimated what I could do. So no matter if you perfectionist or not it is not easy but at least now I am doing better with not being so critical of myself. I think I still have some work to do but at least I realize it needs to be done. I read this article again recently and thought I would share it does give some good advice.

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