Friday, November 29, 2013

Blessed by Great Friends

I know yesterday the day of good eating and sharing food really has helped me to de-stress quite a bit. I know even though I have a plan of action I just don't handle stress the way I used to be able too. I am thankful that I have some incredible friends who have offered to help me to get to the grocery store. There is also the friends who are trying to get me names of car salesman who they know which would help me feel a little more at ease. I know everything will be okay but I just need to work on keeping my stress level down and finding the positives in this experience. I know my friends who live locally have been so wonderful and I am so thankful that they are in my life. I know my own family who knows about the car issues seem to be not concerned at all and in fact were like you will be fine just go buy another car and things will be great.

I know I am relieved to have a total of four days off from work to relax and get things done. I like to go into the Christmas holidays not overly stressed. I know I am looking forward to my Christmas travels to Sonoma and San Fransisco. I will be able to visit with friends which is really what I need. I know after all the overtime I worked this past year having some time to really enjoy the month of December will be much enjoyed. I know even Duchess loves when we visit Sonoma California. There is always so much we can do and the weather is only slightly colder than we are used too.  Glad some time off and fun is headed my way I know Duchess and I both could use the time.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!. I know I am beyond truly blessed no matter what happens to have some of the best friends around. I know one of the biggest blessing over the past three years has been Duchess. She keeps me safe and loves me beyond belief. She has given me back my life the day she came home with me. I was able to continue to work full time and continue to live the life I wanted. I know I never dreamed my life would change so much with Hypoglycemia Unawareness.

Duchess really helps me see things in a different light. She has improved my life in ways I never expected. I am thankful for the DOC and all the wonderful people I have meet over the past couple of years. I have been blessed in many ways and I am thankful.

Thank you for following along for my adventures, and for what I have learned. It has been incredible couple of years. Wishing a safe Holiday for your family.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Several Things

Thankfully most of the changes I made to my basal seemed to work some took me around 160 in the middle of the night which is too high so I am going to make some more tweaks tonight and see if I can improve things further. Thankfully I woke up around 130 this morning which is the much better than the 40 I was averaging recently. I know my stress level has been through the roof and yesterday when I missed I was also assigned quite a few new projects which will only add more stress onto my shoulders. Then my work added a specification to my vacation that I must have everything done before I can leave on vacation. The problem I forsee is that they keep adding projects onto to my workload and I do not have much time to finish this.

I do not handle stress well and I am doing my best to deal with things as it come but it would be so nice to not add a threat that I will not be able to take my vacation if I am not done to where they expect then I would have to delay my departure. I am not able to afford to delay my departure because of all the money coming out of my account for car down payment and the car diagnostics. So I am feeling a little edgy going into the holidays with so much looming over my head. I am normally able to accomplish everything but if they continue to add things on to my deadlines that might create more issues. I am planning to speak to my manager if they continue to add more items. I think it is rather unfair knowing I am planning to leave the state and told you might not be able to leave as planned is rather harsh.

I am a very hard worker and this new rule is insulting normally when I leave everything is done before I go anyways but this is the first time they seems to be throwing more at me instead of letting work on getting things accomplished before leaving. I am hoping to keep the lows at bay but when my work amps up the stress it can makes things very tricky for a Diabetic who is unable to handle stress well.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Low Frustration

My Diabetes recently even with adjustments won today. I missed the bus because I turned off my alarm because my blood sugar was low. I have done this several times recently which is not good. I was not feeling great today so I just took today off but I would have preferred to have made it into work. I set several alarms but must have turned them all off is all that I can figure out. I am trying to avoid this from happening since I don't have my car working. This creates the situation of taking longer to get to work if I am running late which is not good. I need to reduce my stress level would be very helpful I think in helping to get rid of these lows.

I did have a very stressful meeting yesterday and I have a feeling that played a part in my bad low this morning. I already did adjust my basal rates again. Last night I was not low until around 4 am which is pretty common but the rest of the night I was in range which is good. So I have a feeling the tweaks I make today might be enough to get me back on track. The frustration with lows right now is extremely high but I am hanging in there.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Constang Beeping to a Quiet Ending

I am was really happy after very little sleep Saturday night due to low blood sugars. I adjusted my basal rates again but this time luckily it seemed to really help. I was able to sleep till almost 5:15am with no buzzing from the Dexcom. My blood sugar did rise a little bit at midnight as usual but at least it did not seem to go above 140 which is good. I most likely will need to tweak my basal around 12pm but the rest of the night looked to be right in range where I want my blood sugars. It was so nice to sleep the whole night and be able to just sleep. Seems like nights of complete rest are not something I get very often these days so I really do appreciate each night that I am able to sleep soundly.

I know even Duchess seemed very rested because she normally is up if I get up to check my blood sugar in the middle of the night. It would be so nice if the adjustments I made continued to equal more nights of uninterrupted sleep. I have also been able to reduce some of my daytime lows as well this weekend and hopefully that will translate over to my work week. Seems like last week I was low constantly which was driving me crazy and poor Duchess as well. Some times my blood sugars change drastically but others it is a slow change that I catch but tends to push up the number of lows.

My stress level has been through the roof in some ways. My car that was paid of in July is pretty much needs to be replaced. I would rather do anything than look for cars. I hate dealing with car salesman and the whole business of trying to get a good deal but not miss anything. This time I am buying a used Honda most likely. I am just not a fan of spending all that time at a car dealership. I am trying to hold off looking until January because my vacation is December 18t and I won't be back until the beginning of January. So I am really hoping to keep my blood sugars in range through all the stress and still getting all the things I need done. I know the process will not be much fun for Duchess either. I have had my existing care since before I got her so this will be here first time going as well.

Friday, November 22, 2013

A little Angry / Frustrated in General

I am frustrated with the fact that I am back to more lows again but now the minute I treat the low it rebounds to a high even when treating with 11carbs like I normally would. These days are very frustrating for me and I am not sure how to fix this rebound effect when I am not over treating so I am trying to figure out why there is such a large rebound even when I was not low previously but a large rebound with very little food intake.
I am not sure if my body is going haywire or what but I honestly hate moments like this where I have to figure out what is causing the issue and most of the time it is not always a simple answer or very easy for me to figure out. The weather has been wonky here so that could be contributing because I seem to be affected by the weather.

I am feeling very been there done that after all the wonky numbers over the past couple of months. I would love to have a vacation from my Diabetes but I know sadly we don't get one. I am really starting to feel angry about all the constant changes or issues have needed to solve. I think in general at this point I am just tired of it all but I am not giving up. I am committed to making things work but I am just tired of all the energy it is taking to keep things where they need to be. I have so much going on all the time it seems like my Diabetes is constantly screaming endlessly for me to spend more and more time working through issues. I am just flat tired in general and so would love a vacation. Thankfully I will have some time of in December to work through things but I really would love for things to be a little calmer.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Feeling Blah

This November has been so different than last year. I was so excited last year by all the activities of Diabetes awareness month. This year I feeling very blah about it all. I am not upset about anything but my general enthusiasm is missing this year. I am not sure if I am just feeling blah about my diabetes or I am feeling just overwhelmed by it all. I know I am not the only blogger who mentioned feeling this way this year. I know things do vary and I am sure next year I will be back to my more enthusiastic approach to Diabetes Awareness month. I am not sure how I can get myself more excited by it all but I think it is okay to feel blah about it all because I do deal with Diabetes 365 days a year with no breaks.

I know I don't really feel overwhelmed per say but maybe just a little tired of all the scariness my condition brings me on a regular basis. I work so hard but I know it does not always seem to be enough. I guess at the end of the day you can only do so much to prevent lows. I am very tired after my last incident on the bus where people blamed me for it happening and fully believed that I was being irresponsible. I know that is not the case it is really the fact that there is always so much education needed for some of the general public. I am not sure if that is why I feel the way I do this month but who know it might. It can feel extremely overwhelming when you try your best to educate but the person was not really listening can be frustrating.

I know my passion and wanting to help others is why I started my blog and that has not changed but at times that task can feel daunting at times. I do have a great deal of people in my life who understand about lows and so I feel like they get it. I know with Hypoglycemia Unawareness has taken over my life 5 1/2 years ago and it has never been the same since. I am okay with that but I struggle with the fact the most people don't understand.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Research & Diabetes

I know Diabetes has never received the support for illness's like Aids or Cancer. I know more people die every year from Diabetes than Aids and Cancer combined It really makes me sad that a big part of the lack of funding stems from lack of knowledge of the general public. I know that I have had to educate my own family at times because they constantly hear the myths told and retold by the media. I have even seen on Oprah many years back a story on Diabetes and complications which makes us all look bad because they don't have the knowledge to understand. I still will occasionally get asked if I ate too much sugar to cause my Diabetes which I find puzzling because I was diagnosed at 18 months old. My mother did not feel us sugar all day so it is very insulting. I am saddened by the fact that these myths still exist.

I really wonder if more people had accurate knowledge about Diabetes that would help to increase funding for more research. I know they have made a great deal of progress in Diabetes but I really wonder if we had more funding over the years that right now we would have had better technologies or tools to deal with Diabetes than we currently do. Things are improving but I know the companies that produce the products until recently did not seem to ask a Diabetic about their opinions on the products functionality.

I know this being Diabetes Awareness Month and I know we as bloggers and advocates need to fight back more when bad articles are published full of misinformation that it does impact us all in many ways. I know being a Diabetes is frustrating enough without adding more myths to the mix of things. I know we have so much work to do to get things on track to increase funding for more research. I know working for a research University how important and how this research can change lives but I know with Diabetes not getting the funding it deserves it has always left me extremely frustrated.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Noticing a Trend

I have been seeing an increasing number of articles about Diabetic Alert Dogs. The disturbing part for me is that most of these articles do not even discuss Hypoglycemia Unawareness. I do not think you would need a DAD unless you have Hypoglycemia Unawareness. I am concerned with the articles not addressing Hypoglycemia Unawareness that people who can feel lows will be out trying to get a Diabetic Alert dog when it is not necessary. I know I would not have Duchess unless it was necessary for me to have her. My life before was truly much simpler but also twice as dangerous once I was diagnosed with Hypoglycemia Unawareness. I tried everything I could from CGMS to increased testing to try and catch all the lows. Sadly not of these things were working. I was testing so much I was so frustrated that I was still missing lows.

I have also noticed many of the articles do not discuss all of the work that Diabetic Alert Dogs require to keep them working or even very few details about their training. I always worry about bad information being put out their by articles that I have run across recently.  I know these dogs are so incredible but I am really upset at the messages they are sending that everyone needs a Diabetic Alert Dog. I could not disagree more. I know so many people who need Diabetic Alert are not always able to get one especially if people are getting them who really don't need one. I know my Hypoglycemia Unawareness is truly the scariest thing I have faced as a type 1 diabetic. Even with having Duchess it is less scary but still has its moments of scary.

I know I wish no diabetic had to experience Hypoglycemia Unawareness and that we could all get by with using CGMS and frequent testing. Until that day comes I will continue to use a Diabetic Alert dog but only because it is the only option that has worked for me.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Finally Adjusted to the Change

I have been thankful this week for increased sleep finally. I have had my Dexcom staying in range most of the time till around 4:45am and I am still making adjustments so I can fix this as well. Night basal changes tend to take a while for me to get perfected. Thankfully I am cruising through the night from 90-130 range which I am happy with. I hate the nights of constant beeping from my Dexcom and not being able to sleep because of the alerts every 20 minutes. I think I have finally adjusted to daylight saving time and everything seems to be back to normal. I am working out some kinks during the day but overall my blood sugars are not going up and down as much and I feel more confident in my blood sugars and overall control.

I am hoping that things will be calm and mellow for the rest of the year. I thankfully as of now am seizure free for almost 15months. I feel very blessed for everyday that I am seizure free. I am not sure how I was able to avoid seizures for 8 years but my goal is to lengthen the time as much as possible. I know Duchess has played a big part in me being seizure free as well. I know the longer she is with me the sooner she seems to notify me of fast dropping blood sugars. I know when I saw my Dexcom this morning I am getting so close to where my blood sugars are a straight line across which is ideal.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

World Diabetes Day!!!

It is hard to believe it is World Diabetes Day of 2013. Remember that this is the last day to record entries into the big blue test. I will post the link below so you can add more entries. They have not meet the goal of 20,000 entries yet and I am hoping we can reach that goal today.

Please take the time to do another big blue test today all the funds donated will go to nonprofits that helps Diabetics. So it always a win win for all who participate.

Duchess wearing Blue for World Diabetes Day!!
(Halloween picture but fitting)

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

What I have Learned from Retinopathy.

I have learned so much from my experience with Diabetic Proliferative Retinopathy. There is so many scary aspects of having Retinopathy but most of the items were only scary if I could not find information on the procedures. Retinopathy has reminded me of what is important and how increased control has helped me to have very little issues with my eyes through the process.

1. Keep blood sugars as controlled as possible because it reduces the amount of hemorrhages in the eye.
2. Avoid having high cholesterol, and high blood pressure. If you do have these issues the Dr. recommend to     keep it controlled.
3. Sleep with two pillows at an angle to reduce chance of a hemorrhage blocking vision.
4. Retinopathy is found normally in both eyes even if there has been no hemorrhages.
5. Ask questions about procedures and research.
6. Laser procedures will reduce your night vision so you might end up with glasses to wear at night if vision       loss is great enough.
7. A patient does not have to have surgery there is other options to addressing the issue such as shots and         laser procedures.
8. Don't let a Dr.' push you into surgery if you are not comfortable with them as a physician.
9. Don't be afraid to fire a Dr. if they are too busy to even explain to you about your condition or treat you         respectfully.       

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Things I have Learned about Hypoglycemia Unawareness

I still find it hard to believe that I have not had feelings of lows for over 5 years. I have learned so much about Hypoglycemia Unawareness over the past 5 years. Here is a list of things I have learned

1. The feelings of lows will never come back regardless of how hard you try.
2. There is the occassional low you might feel but that is when your blood sugar is quite low like 30.
3. Running your bloods sugars high with no lows will not solve this problem not matter what length of time..
4. Some people running high do get some feeling back but that only lasts so long.
5. Dr.'s I meet seem to know very little about Hypoglycemia Unawareness except run the blood sugars high.
6. I have found that Hypoglycemia Unawareness equals frequent lows even with my best efforts
7. There is not a great deal of information in general on Hypoglycemia Unawareness online.
8. Most of the Information online does not seem to work for most of the people I know with Hypoglycemia
9. Keeping lows at bay is very complicated.
10 I get confused much easier than in the past because I don't always know it is dropping quickly.
11.The signs of lows don't completely go away but change to things like confusion, irritation and obsessiveness in my activities at the time of the low.
12. Every person with Hypoglycemia Unawareness all experience different symptoms of lows and have to learn the new one's. It can take a while to find what it a symptom of a low.
13. My blood sugars tend to fluctuate dramatically from day to day and with little patterns at times.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Newly Diagnosed Type 1 Diabetic

I was out shopping on my birthday this weekend and I ran into a family who's son was diagnosed several months back who said they just found out about the diabetic alert dogs. I know they wanted to know all about Duchess but I let them know that when you are first diagnosed you really need to work on getting to know your diabetes first before you throw a diabetic alert dog into the mix. Life with diabetes is stressful enough and when you are trying to learn about diabetes you need to just focus on that instead of rushing to get a dog who needs a great deal of time and training. I know the parents are worried about night time lows but I think everyone needs to try a CGMS before they get a diabetic alert dog.

I know I have never really felt a great deal of my lows since I was a child and I am not sure why. I know she said her son could feel his lows but she is worried about the nights. I did mention to her that not all diabetic alert dogs will alert at night. I know that is probably the number one reason for many they purchase the dogs so I like to inform people that it is not guaranteed to alert at night. I know many people assume getting a dog right away is a good decision but to get the best results from a diabetic alert dog you need to know your diabetes. I know I have achieved my best A1c's of my life since getting Duchess but that would not have been possible without knowing how to make adjustments to my cars, basals and other factors.

I know diabetic alert dogs are great but I think learning how your diabetes responds to things will help you use a diabetic alert dog to help you achieve what is necessary. I know I am lucky that I have my Dexcom, Animas One Touch Ping and Duchess. I know that these tools are worthless until I learn how to use these tools to make improvements in my control and to help reduce my lows. That is why once I got my insulin pump I waited a bit before I would be bringing home my diabetic alert dog home. I know I read books on insulin pumps and how to use insulin. I learned a great deal and with this knowledge I continue to make my life easier.

Friday, November 8, 2013

Putting Dexcom in a Cup Again

I am really happy I decided to take today off from work not because of my low yesterday but because I needed some time off. I am thankfully had a good night last night so I was able to sleep and was not low all night long. I know Duchess seems quite relieved at the quite night as well. I am going to have a long fun birthday weekend and enjoy the fact that I have three days off. I am hoping to get a better handle on things over the next couple of days. I know I have found some little things I had not taken into consideration until yesterday morning. All I know is that recently my diabetes has really become a handful to deal with and I just want to be able to have some time to relax.

I am always trying to avoid all these lows but sadly my body has other things in mind other than cooperating. Thankfully I have some ideas of how I am going to approach things and hope that it helps. I know I was really surprised by yesterday's bad low because I was not really stressed but I know some things such as time change can create issues for me so I am thinking that was playing a part in the bad low as well. I am not sure why it happened but I am always looking for ideas to help. I know I don't remember hearing the Dexcom go off at all. So I am going back to putting my Dexcom in a cup on my night stand.

That seems to help me hear it more clearly and I hoping to catch the lows sooner rather than sleeping right through the alarms. I know I never usually her my pump alarms either so I should not be surprised by this but that usually does not cause many issue except occasionally. I am so glad I am getting to enjoy my birthday weekend with some much needed time off.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

UGH I Hate Lows

I had a very bad morning where I did not hear my Dexcom going off all night or my alarm clock this morning. I had two alarms set and I feel bad for my roommate who was most likely wanting to sleep. I know I scared everyone at work because I was not responding to calls or txt messages. Thankfully Duchess eventually was able to get my attention and I finally treated my low. I know the minute I treated my low I shot up to 170 the funny thing is that I only took 11 carbs but I guess my body had other plans. Thankfully I was able to get to work but I was later than I was planning to be. Thankfully I have been at work like nothing happened but I am honestly at a loss. All week long I had been dropping my basals and I had some nights with very few alerts from my Dexcom. So I was not really expecting this but.  I know these times I am thankful that I have Duchess to help me out.

Well the good news is that I am off tomorrow so I have a three day weekend to enjoy. I am hoping to run by the Dr.'s to see if there is anything I need to change right now. I am not sure but I hate these lows.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Overnights are Improving But Feeling Defeated.

My blood sugars overnight thankfully seems to be calming down which is nice. Certain times of the year it seems like every night that my blood sugars want to stay low all night long. I am running a little higher than I like but I am doing some really gradual drops hoping to not over do it with the adjustments. I really love when I can sleep through most of the nights when possible. I know last week I was stressed and I saw first hand how that affected me. I am hoping things begin to slow down at work so I can get my barrings on my blood sugars. I am also working out more and hoping that does not mess with my overnight blood sugars too.

I am working on trying to feel like my old self these days and I think getting out and exercising more will help. I have put on like 5 pounds over the past couple of months and I want to feel better so hopefully I can lose the weight. I am trying to find some new ways to deal with stress for the busiest part of next year to help avoid bad lows or EMS assisted issues. I am not sure what I can do differently but I feel like I need a better plan. This year I avoided seizures and if I can avoid bad overnight lows next year I would feel like things were even more improved.

Having Hypoglycemia Unawareness has honestly been the most difficult and scary aspect for me to face as a Diabetic. I know I am so fortunate to have such a wonderful helper but life in general is never easy and figuring out the basal changes it twice as challenging. I know my Dr. at times seems to need extra time to see what action needs to be taken. I know my bad low from Friday has made me feel like a complete failure because I feel like I should be able to prevent more of the these lows. I know I am doing better than last year but I would love to be like some diabetics who the lows are very rare events.

Monday, November 4, 2013

Great Rewards

On Saturday morning I took Duchess to the dog bakery. I purchased a great deal of things for her after my bad low on the bus which she so deserved. Every time after a bad low or incident I always make it a big party for her persistence and help during these situations. Friday I could not of been prouder because she was so persistent with the people on the bus until they got that something was wrong. She did a wonderful job and was on top of it. I know the man that was on the bus said she kept alerting over and over again before they finally clued in. They said I was very unresponsive which is not completely unusual for me at times. The interesting thing for me is that I had very little active insulin on board but I was dropping pretty quickly which equals me being unresponsive.

I know the routine with going to the dog bakery after those incidents I think helps Duchess feel like I do not view here as a failure. I know during my seizures afterwards she always acted like she let me down so I really make a big deal of everything she did right. I know that her job is very difficult and she handles so much stress and makes it look easy. She handled everything so well and I feel like reinforcing that she did her job that she will continue to be as persistent as necessary. I know a big fear of mine is that after a bad low or seizure she will decide to stop working.

Duchess seemed to be not fazed by Friday which made me feel better and she seemed to keep alerting as she normally would. I am glad she is so very smart and creative in how she gets people's attention when necessary. She is amazing in my eyes and I will always love that she cares so much to keep me safe.

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Discussion from Friday Afternoon

After my Friday morning visit with EMS I was not really in the mood to talk about what happened at all. I know sometime it takes me longer than others to get process what happend. I know most of my experience for the most part people are usually just concerned. I know one of the woman that was on the bus that morning was really quite pissed off at me that afternoon when I was catching the bus. She could not understand why I was unable to take care of the low. I simply said lack of glucose to the brain. I know I was really not wanting to discuss things with her when she was pissed off. I have a feeling that she really did not get that I was doing the best I can. I know she even asked me why this incident could not be avoided. I so wish at times people could understand that it is not that easy and I have had issues with lows most of my life.

I honestly had trouble with the fact that she was angry with me. I think she thought I was at fault for what happened. I know it started out like any other morning and everything seemed fine. I am not sure what I could have done differently. I know both of the people who were on the bus when the EMS arrived both were quite pushy in ways I had not dealt with previously. I know after this experience I know I really appreciate how understanding my old roommate was during those scary events. He never was angry with me but seemed to understand that things are not easy.

I am hoping next week things have calmed down and they are not angry. I am sure they were concerned but the lack of understanding seems to have caused quite a bit of issues. I am just not used to dealing with people who are angry about what happened.

Friday, November 1, 2013

Scary Morning Adventure

It has been one of those mornings that I don't usually ever want to experience. I was riding the bus to work but that is where it gets fuzzy. I know things seemed pretty normal for the most part. All I really know is that I had some friends who work at UT and The State of Texas who noticed that I was not responding to Duchess's alerts and let the bus driver know. They pulled over at a bus stop and then EMS arrived. I don't know much of what happened before that point except I kept insisting that I was fine. Which always means I am really not fine.

 All I know is that when EMS tested my blood sugar I was 39 which is low. I know EMS did not like that number but the funny thing in my mind is how calm and unfazed I was by this low number. I think the hard part for me is when I tend to hand lower at times that you get used to those lower numbers and so you forget the seriousness of that number. I know way back a 39 would have had me in a complete panic but these days it seems to really not scare me as much as I think it should. I know I am not invincible but I think having lows more frequently can truly change how you view the lows. I know there is a inherent danger to these lows but I seem to not have a proper response these days.

I am thankful today for my friends who were late to work and helped me get the help I needed. I know it is appreciated and I know how overwhelming it must be for them as well. I know these experiences are scary for them as well. I am really embarrassed as always but overall I am just glad to be safe. I am still at work and doing fine but had my blood sugar shoot up to 240 because of the glucose gel which happens everytime. Hoping to have a calm weekend.