Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Surprising Issues and No Real Answers

The past couple of weeks have been dealing with issues. I know Duchess had been having issues running into furniture and other items at home after we moved them. I know my local vet said she could see some slight retinal changes in her left eye. So I had scheduled an appointment at UC Davis Veterinary hospital in Davis California. Which thankfully is not too far from my home. So I anxious for several weeks and all I knew before my appointment is that I wanted more information. I know there is two conditions that a dog could suffer from that can cause permanent blindness. So as I waited several weeks for her appointment to arrive. I know since Duchess is my whole world it was extremely difficult. I know with my frozen shoulder I was also dealing with complete frustration over dealing with my daily exercises which I am truly struggling to keep up with.

I know the day I was driving to UC Davis my stomach was upset and I was extremely nervous. I know I was extremely worried but unsure what would happen. So I saw the student and then meet with the professor who started with basic tests. I know they said the noticed the same thing that my local veterinarian noticed. There was changes in her left eye. So they needed to run further test which would require me to leave her there for several hours. I know I was pretty upset to leave her there but I knew they needed to do further tests. I knew if the test was negative she would need to see the neurologist as well. So I went back to UC Davis to check back in and see the results. The student came out and told me that the test was negative so she was being transferred to the neurologist to make sure there was no tumor or other issue from the eyes to the brain. So I was on my own again and thankfully my blood sugars were cooperating through the time without here but since I am rarely ever without Duchess it really make me feel so incredibly vulnerable in many ways that I had since forgotten about. Having Duchess has really given me so much freedom from the constant worrying. That day was such a reminder of how blessed I am.

I waited in the waiting room to hear back from the Vet. So they finally call me back. As I was waiting they finally brought me back Duchess who was so overjoyed to see me again. I know I truly felt the same. After all the waiting all they could determine is she has really early signs of retinal degeneration which means changes in her retina but since I found it so early they could not determine the cause. They did discover that Duchess also has neurological changes in her left eye as well. She does not blink or have normal reaction in that eye. So she is seeing pretty well from what they are saying but I know most of the time the incidents happened when it was dark. They also said her left hind leg which she had injured over two years ago had neurological changes as well. Which that I was not surprised by. So after talking with the vet they could not figure out the cause of the running into item completely and they were unable to explain why she was eating and drinking more water. She also had some other small things going on as well.

I know after they told me I was angry because after hours of being there all day all I had was more questions and not one answer. So now I am documenting any changes in her sight such as recording dates times and other issues in order to help figure out the issue. I know I am watching Duchess very carefully but it also is a reminder that how fast the time is going. In August we have been a team for 6 years. I know I feel lucky each and every day I get to have her as my service dog and my best friend. I know now I am looking at finding and planning on when and how I will get my next service dog. I know how the scent training works so looking at getting a dog who does not make it to being a guide dog is what I might look for in fact John meet a guy from the local Guide dog organization and told him they would love to find a dog that could be trained to alert me to low and high blood sugars. So I considering that and I know I can use what knowledge I do have to help. I also know so many that I know It won't be that difficult to get them trained with having Duchess around. I know I am hoping that day does not come soon but I must realize Duchess is really not young anymore. She considered a senior according to the vet. So preparing for changes to made in the next couple of years as she ages. I know one day she will have to retire but I am really hoping that is some time from now.

Monday, March 28, 2016

Twenty Four Hours- How Fast Your Life Can Change

I know with all the changes in my life things really seemed to be going so well. I know a couple weeks ago I was going to leave the house to go grocery shopping with Duchess. I getting ready to walk out the door. Then Duchess was heading to the left when I turned back to turn the lock on the handle before I left. Something startle Duchess and she pulled and I ran into the door with my shoulder. I dropped my purse and the leash. I had to go sit down because my shoulder hurt so badly. I know I sat on the couch for an hour before I got up to try and go to the store again. I know my shoulder hurt for a while and I iced it and hoped that would take care of the injury. I know over the next couple of weeks the pain in my shoulder seemed to increase. I know I was having trouble at night sleeping. In fact one night I rolled over and there was a big pop sound from my shoulder. I know I had issues being able to put my hand behind my back on the left side. I was thinking at first maybe I pulled something or irritated something. I decided then I needed to schedule an appointment but because of my job I try to schedule only in early morning or late afternoon to avoid missing much work. So I scheduled an appointment but it would be several days before I could get in due to trying follow the times my work prefers.

I also had noticed when I was having shoulder issues that Duchess seemed off. I know when I hurt my shoulder I thought it was odd because normally that would never happen. I know we were doing some changing at our Condo so we moved some furniture around. I noticed after we did this that Duchess started running into things. I know one morning I was in the bedroom getting ready for work and I heard a really awful yelp from Duchess. I run out of the bedroom and she had run into a table. I know I was concerned as it happened some more. I started to write down her symptoms such as she seemed to get antsy when it came time to feed her. In fact I know today I have to make sure she is in the room when I pour her food in the bowl so she knows its there. At times she dances around like she does not see her food. So I decided to schedule an vet appointment. So first came my appointment with a Physician who thought I should wait. If it did not improve I should then go to Physical therapy because my arm had limited movement.

So Duchess vet appointment came first then my Physical therapy visit. I took Duchess into her new vet's and was pleased with how incredible the veterinarian dealt with Duchess. She handled her so well and made us all at ease. I know we told her about the increased thirst, increased appetite, running into objects, passing around once feed and other symptoms. So she got out her light and looked at Duchess eyes. She noticed some things so she got another device out to look again. Sure enough there is currently retinal changes in her eyes. At this time I don't know what that means for Duchess until she see's the Ophthalmologist in a week and a half. I know I was relieved that we were addressing the issue but I was incredibly troubled by what the veterinarian was telling me. I know I had some dread coming up with the appointment. So I know I was beyond stressed because Duchess had been my DAD for almost six years. I know she is my best friend and I am nervous what this can me for her health. I know I am hoping for the best but I guess I will know soon.

So the next morning at 7:30 am bright and early I went to meet my Physical therapist for the first time. I knew the would evaluate me and my movement of my left shoulder. I know I already had a bad feeling that I had Diabetic frozen shoulder. I know John and I had discussed it several days before this appointment that I thought it could be that. I know the Physical therapist did her exam and I was really in a great deal of pain. At we were able to discuss my exam. She told me I had Diabetic frozen shoulder. I know then she told me the fastest way to get to what they call the thaw faze is usually an inter-articular join injection. I know she was referring me to an orthopedist to get the injection done. At this point I was like great a cortisone injection into my joint in my shoulder.
It really hit me hard as I was rushing back to my office I had Diabetic frozen shoulder. There goes my plans of doing my AFF sky diving training this year. I know I can't even put my arm behind my back on my left side, I was really hit with how much this is going to affect my life. I also was advised no heavy lifting which I should be able to lift around 50 lbs on occasion at my job. I know I was really upset and I know I was even more frustrated with the fact that the prescribed injection might not work.

Monday, March 21, 2016

Would They Cover It or Not

I know with the move to California meant getting new Physicians. I know I was so nervous my first visit with my family practice doctor at Kaiser Permanente. I know I ended up really liking the physician I ended up getting. She listens well and has helped me to navigate how Kaiser works. I know I am so used to having a health plan where I don't need referrals to see a doctor. I know the appointment that has made the most nervous so far was my visit with the Endocrinologist. I was so incredibly blessed to have had my old PA Amy who is my favorite physician I have ever worked with. I know I also had heard things about Kaiser not covering Dexcom sensors or CGMS in general except for certain patients who meet a special criteria. I know I have used the Dexcom for three years now and I don't know what I would do without it. Duchess does not alert at night so that leaves me incredibly vulnerable at night. So I was really scared that the new Endocrinologist would not give me the prescription for more Dexcom sensors.

When I went to my appointment I only had 3 Dexcom sensors left. I know John and I discussed that I would have to pay out of pocket worst case scenario for the sensors. I know that I needed the support during the appointment. I know when I meet him he was not a fan of how low my Alc is but I honestly don't work hard to get all my lows in general I tend to go regardless even when trying to run higher at times. I was surprised when the Endocrinologist asked for the list of supplies I needed he agreed immediately to put in a request of refills on my Dexcom sensors. I know the Endocrinologist made quite a few changes to my pump settings and wanted me to see the CDE. I know they wanted the CDE to assist me with looking at my numbers and Dexcom graphs monthly to help reduce the number of bad lows. I know after the recent seizures I was not surprised by this. I know I will only see the Endocrinologist twice a year through Kaiser. I also was really surprised that the Endocrinologist agreed to let me make the changes to my pump or discuss them before we make changes. I like to be treated like an adult and not a child when it comes to my health care.

Overall I was really pleasantly surprised by the Endocrinologist and was happy that he treated me with respect that I need in a physician. I know I feel like I was happy with my family practice Dr.'s referral and like that they listen to me as the patient. I know my Diabetes can be difficult to manage but I am happy that I do like my Dr. so far. I know my CDE was really great as well and she listens when I explain why I do things in a certain manner. She has very helpful and I hope that I will continue to work well with her. I know honestly getting my Dexcom supplies so quickly and not having to much except call was so nice. I know I was not sure if the different type of health plan would work for me but it really has been really good so far. I know I feel silly being incredibly stressed about being able to get the Dexcom Sensors. The best part is that John like my Endocrinologist now he is going to see him as well. 

Thursday, March 17, 2016

I Wish They All Could be Prevented

I am sorry for all the delays on the blog. I know starting a new job really requires a great deal of my time making sure I am learning as quickly as I can.  Sadly several things have happened since I last blogged. I had several seizures. The seizures one I think could of been prevented if only we had listened to Duchess. I know I had several lows that day and I was on a machine that massages my back so I was taking my turn on the machine when Duchess started to freak out. Once I was done I did test immediately and I did treat the low. So then John and I were headed to go get dinner and we were really close to the restaurant when I started to seize in the car. Thankfully we were right next to a parking lot where John had pulled in. Right before the seizure I had three different errors on my insulin pump. So I decided to take care of the pump not primed issue by changing the tubing. I was in the car trying to take of that issue when I started to seize. This seizure I felt everything as it was happening.  When I first treated the low I was 48. So I thought I was good until we got to the restaurant and all the pump errors distracted me from treating the low with more glucose tabs or other things.

I know now it is imperative when she does alert to check even if not convenient normally I do really well at doing so normally. It is always a good reminder to follow your normal routine especially when it comes to lows. So instead of going to a restaurant for dinner we decided that I needed something quickly to keep my blood sugar up after the glucagon injection. Thankfully I have been seizure free but some major issues have showed up within a 24 hour period of time which I will share tomorrow. I know all the change in my life it can be difficult to decide where to start.

I know my second seizure was two days later in the morning hours on a work day. I know  there was nothing I could have done differently dealing with my Dawn Phenomenon at times is the most difficult for me and always has been. I know I tend to take more basal overnight than I do in the day. I know most nights I get my blood sugars jump up around 2 am most mornings. It it seems it will continue to be a challenge. I know I am trying to keep my stress down and other things to help me deal with the seizures. So I am now at a point where I have been seizure free for a couple of weeks so far. I am trying to keep things simple at this point. Thankfully I have been able to keep my lows to a lower number which is helping.


Thursday, December 10, 2015

Interesting First Week

Things at my new work have been going great so far but I can already see some interesting challenges ahead. I am brand new and a person is already leaving the department. I have a feeling it was related to issues with another department and nothing internal. Right now the University is shuffling departments around internally so I have a feeling this person leaving was related to that recent changes. I know my department has various new team members which is great for me because they have done so much for me so far. I know this time I got asked for what office supplies I wanted and they actually arrived today at my office. It was really nice not to have to wait six months on the job before being asked what I needed. I am not sure what the other person leaving will impact me but I have a feeling because I have experience in the area this person had that could mean that I would get a promotion but honestly I am really liking the section I am in right now.

The best parts of my new job is that I work in a house and my desk is right by the back door which has access to the back yard. So it makes it ideal when having to take Duchess out. I know I also work right next to the kitchen which is ideal for storing extra food and the fridge is right there. So I can store my extra supplies and juice boxes. I know I previously at my old job had to request a fridge but this time I don't need to ask for any accommodation because the house is really ideal for Duchess. Honestly Duchess loves that at lunch I can take her outside and play in the yard. Also last Friday my coworker and I played soccer with Duchess and she was incredibly happy. She really loved her new work location but also seems to love how homey the house is. I know I can take my lunch break in the living room and also relax for an hour. My boss has a policy that no lunch break is skipped. So we have to have lunches which equal happier staff. So I also have to say that my boss is incredible.

She is familiar with service dog do's and don't s.  She also has been great in helping take on some issues that have come up. I know my position helps three other sections out in doing tasks but they have been sending tasks without asking my boss first so that she can review it. She wants to give me time to adjust and also finish all my training as well. She also is working on sending out a message to all staff about not petting service dogs etc. to educate everyone. Which takes the stress off me which is very helpful. I know she has been great and I know I am really starting to see peoples true colors after being there over a week. I know who I can trust and who I can't so far. I know I am learning so much and I feel like my supervisor works very hard to make sure I am not taken advantage of which I really appreciate. I know I am learning so much and I feel that this job will be what I needed. I knew I wanted to do something else and it really is very different. I know my skills in this position could open more doors for me personally. I know I feel very comfortable with my one coworker and boss.

I know I am looking forward to see what happens next. I am really enjoying the fact that my job in general is less stressful than my previous positions. Hoping that will help me to have a happy and healthier life. I know my move to California was for several reasons but I also know how much my work was deterioration my health so making changes that seem to have made me very happy so far. I am hoping for many more great things. I know I am blessed to have the ability to make the changes I needed in my life. I know my boyfriend John is so happy that I moved and I know I feel the same. Life is really great because I feel like I am not stuck in a rut. I know my diabetes has been really starting to smooth out in general. So I am hoping I can keep it that way.

Interesting First Week

Things at my new work have been going great so far but I can already see some interesting challenges ahead. I am brand new and a person is already leaving the department. I have a feeling it was related to issues with another department and nothing internal. Right now the University is shuffling departments around internally so I have a feeling this person leaving was related to that recent changes. I know my department has various new team members which is great for me because they have done so much for me so far. I know this time I got asked for what office supplies I wanted and they actually arrived today at my office. It was really nice not to have to wait six months on the job before being asked what I needed. I am not sure what the other person leaving will impact me but I have a feeling because I have experience in the area this person had that could mean that I would get a promotion but honestly I am really liking the section I am in right now.

The best parts of my new job is that I work in a house and my desk is right by the back door which has access to the back yard. So it makes it ideal when having to take Duchess out. I know I also work right next to the kitchen which is ideal for storing extra food and the fridge is right there. So I can store my extra supplies and juice boxes. I know I previously at my old job had to request a fridge but this time I don't need to ask for any accommodation because the house is really ideal for Duchess. Honestly Duchess loves that at lunch I can take her outside and play in the yard. Also last Friday my coworker and I played soccer with Duchess and she was incredibly happy. She really loved her new work location but also seems to love how homey the house is. I know I can take my lunch break in the living room and also relax for an hour. My boss has a policy that no lunch break is skipped. So we have to have lunches which equal happier staff. So I also have to say that my boss is incredible.

She is familiar with service dog do's and don't s.  She also has been great in helping take on some issues that have come up. I know my position helps three other sections out in doing tasks but they have been sending tasks without asking my boss first so that she can review it. She wants to give me time to adjust and also finish all my training as well. She also is working on sending out a message to all staff about not petting service dogs etc. to educate everyone. Which takes the stress off me which is very helpful. I know she has been great and I know I am really starting to see peoples true colors after being there over a week. I know who I can trust and who I can't so far. I know I am learning so much and I feel like my supervisor works very hard to make sure I am not taken advantage of which I really appreciate. I know I am learning so much and I feel that this job will be what I needed. I knew I wanted to do something else and it really is very different. I know my skills in this position could open more doors for me personally. I know I feel very comfortable with my one coworker and boss.

I know I am looking forward to see what happens next. I am really enjoying the fact that my job in general is less stressful than my previous positions. Hoping that will help me to have a happy and healthier life. I know my move to California was for several reasons but I also know how much my work was deterioration my health so making changes that seem to have made me very happy so far. I am hoping for many more great things. I know I am blessed to have the ability to make the changes I needed in my life. I know my boyfriend John is so happy that I moved and I know I feel the same. Life is really great because I feel like I am not stuck in a rut. I know my diabetes has been really starting to smooth out in general. So I am hoping I can keep it that way.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

First Day

I am really looking forward to my first day at my new job. I am thrilled to be able to be working again. I know it has so hard to not be working and just applying for jobs for quite a while. It has been a very rough road as far as job hunting but I am pleased in the end that I got the job that I wanted initially when I applied back in September. I know I will have so much to learn but the group of people I meet all seems so wonderful and helpful. I know the person who did the job previously and was promoted will be working right next to me so I can easily ask questions which will make the job easier in that way. I know after the one company I was going to do the temp to permanent position made me really weary of things but I know I need to start fresh. So I am going to go to work with an open mind and hopeful that things will be wonderful in my new position.

I am excited in some ways because I can use lessons learned from my previous job to help avoid some pitfalls of having Duchess at work. I am most of all hoping that people give me a chance to prove that I can do the job and that I am able to do anything everyone else is able to. I know it would seem like that would be a given but I have found that is not always the case but I am very optimistic things will be good. I know I was pleased that the University I will be working for handled the disability requests quite well so I am hopeful. I know each place is different and I know a fresh start is really what I need. I guess I will know tomorrow and more this week how things will go. I am hoping they are open minded and understand I am just as capable as any other person. My blood sugars have been better past couple of weeks and so I am hoping with a slight temporary basal rate during the first couple of weeks will allow me to have less lows and hopefully be able to learn all the things I need to learn. The good part is that I know I will be getting a week paid time off at Christmas similar to what I got at my last job. So I will get some down time right after starting which is really nice.

I know I am hoping Duchess is ready for all the change. She really handled the temp assignments I did at a hospice organization in October and November. I know she will love meeting all the new people and most of all I think she will be happier to be back to work as I am. Except I honestly think she loves staying home because she can run around the house but I know she will enjoy in some ways getting back to our routine of sorts. I know I am excited and a little nervous even though I know I will be fine.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Follow Up on Job Offers

It has been an interesting job hunt to say the least. I did finally finish getting all the required documents for my disability accommodations which are basically bringing Duchess to work turned into human resources today which was a relief. I know I won't be able to start my job until all the paper work was submitted in a timely manner. I did have issues getting my old Dr.'s office to sign the paper work though so it has been a great deal of hoops to jump through to get to this point today. I did finally hear back from the other job offer I had accepted on Friday afternoon. They sent me an email saying to start on a set date and time but they had a little note at the bottom. The position was originally for a temporary to permanent position. I would have been temporary for around three months. I know the email stated the clients had decided to hire their own Administrative Assistant internally. The position would now only be a temporary position until they found an acceptable person for the job.

I know I am still really angry that people the minute they hear I have a service dog the run. I know my new position at a state job was very accepting of the law and just had me fill out the proper paper work. They said I would need to meet with them when I start to discuss accommodations but other than that I am all set for the my first day on the job. It is insulting because I have a great deal of success as an administrative assistant or associate positions. I know I even took tests for the temp agency and did really well but funny how when you need accommodations they want nothing to do with you and want to back out of the job offer if they could legally get away with it. I did rather enjoy emailing them temp agency back on Friday saying that I had accepted a full time job offer with another company. I know this temporary agency should have been more careful. They were trying to change the position they offered after the original offer was agreed upon. I am sure they sought legal advice on how to handle this so the client did not have to have me as an employee. I know I was over joyed to turn down the job offer once they started to change the offer around.

I know I have a great deal of service dog teams that do not work and I know why. It is was really a slap in the face how so person can disregard years of experience because you have a disability and treat you like you have no value. I know my job at the University of Texas was never easy but I always got the job done. So I find it very hard to deal with how belittled I felt after this experience. I know I am glad I found a place that is really happy to welcome me to the team with my disability. I am hoping I see more of that in the future but I know after this experience I plan on staying with my new University for many years to come because having a service dog and going through this process again would be incredibly difficult to handle. I know I am extremely happy with my decision to move but I forgot how hard it would be to handle the disability related paper work, forms and questions.

I know I would not have handled all the stress or difficulties I faced this time without John. He really has been a great helping me to watch Duchess while I interviewed and helping me practice for interviews as well. I know I did not always handle my stress as well as I would have liked but thankfully I am done with that part of the process. I know with all the extra steps I have to handle after accepting a job offer it feels like a great deal of work. Normally they want this paper work same day or next day at latest. So it is a great deal of time talking to nurses and scrambling to get things faxed to my new employer. I know why a great deal of service dog teams don't work and most of the reason I am finding is not the disabled person but rather the employers in a great deal of cases. It makes me incredibly sad to be even saying that. I was hopeful that my experience would have been positive instead of such a negative experience. I know we still have a great deal of a ways to go when it comes to dealing with disabilities in the workplace.