Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Hoping Things Have Changed

I have been getting very irritated with using my Dexcom because it has been really off at time especially the first three days of use. I know since I have been working out that my legs are becoming more muscular as I do start training for my next adventure. I knew this would start to cause issues after a couple months of exercise. The issue now is that my stomach and arms need to work for me at this point I can use my lower back, stomach and arms possibly. About 6 months ago I tried using my stomach with major issues and I hoping the past six months is enough to allow me the option of using my stomach. That is one of the few place I can use at this point.

I know with me exercising more I am relying more and more on my Dexcom just to let me know if I am moving up or down. Last night for example I was at the gym and Duchess alerts me. I check my Dexcom it says I am 127 with an arrow straight across. So I check I was 68. It took another ten minutes after I treated my low for my Dexcom to even acknowledge I was moving down. This actually is really becoming common for me the past couple of weeks. I am frustrated but I know it won't help because my own body is too blame. My body has never really loved the sensors and has always been some what off but the better shape I get the worse the results.

With my next adventure is imperative that it works efficiently for me. I know when I am running I really don't notice I am going low and in fact tend to speed up when I was going low. I know that seems strange but my body just keeps pushing forward most of the time. So I am hoping that the other sites will work better than last time I tried. I know my current sensor keeps saying I'm high when I am not and lows it is 30 minutes after I treat which is not helpful for me or my Dr. Thankfully I know if I can find a good area to use again. I like what Dexcom offers but it can be so frustrating at times when I really need it to work.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Excited About The Changes Now and to Come

Everything around me has changed so drastically since June of this year. I almost can't believe how much. I know with the recent management changes I have been able to have more time off from work. It feel very odd to not work every weekend and not be panicked about year end. I also get to enjoy the nice summer days which is something I normally do not get to experience over the past three years. So I am overjoyed that I feel like I am getting my life back again. I know these changes have allowed me to be happier and more content with my life in general. It also made me realize that I have been so busy that I have been ignoring dreams and goals I have had. I am so happy I am working out regularly and getting to challenge myself further. I know I needed this but in the past I was so stressed I honestly was thankful to just get through the day. I know now I look forward to so much more and I am finding great joy in things I have not enjoyed in the past couple of years.

I know I have doubted myself in a great deal of ways in the past couple of years because of bad lows but recently even with my recent event for the first in a couple of years I feel like myself again. The happy, energetic and fun person I loved being. I know I had a friend comment recently that I was very dauntless she said I make these scary events look easy and I never show any fear. I know I do but most of the time she is right I rarely let people ever see my vulnerable sides, and my fears. I know she has seen a great deal of the bad but she thinks I can handle almost anything especially after my Retinopathy diagnosis and my ability to keep my 20/20 vision was the best outcome. I know I put an incredible amount of pressure on myself for perfection. I know that is not a very good thing but I know it also kept my vision what it is today. I know I work so hard and that in a great deal of ways I have accomplished more than I ever dreamed of.

I know I still think about my life before complications but I now realize that my life in still incredibly wonderful and fun. I was so busy trying to stay safe I did not look at the big picture that I could still do everything I used but now just in a different way. I am so happy that I am not going to let Diabetes stop me but I am instead going to challenge it instead. I work so hard I might as well enjoy what life is giving me. I know I have been so blessed to meet so many wonderful people who inspire me. I know Karen inspired me further on my journey back to running. Great job on your 5K Karen. I know I think any accomplishment with Diabetes is a win. I now know I need to change my outlook to reflect that. Looking forward to many more wonderful changes to come.

Friday, August 15, 2014

Exciting Times

I got a letter in the mail yesterday from my Endocrinologist office. The office is now working to make sure all patients that have been on insulin over 25 years get their medals from Lilly Journey Awards. They give a bronze medal for all type 1 Diabetics on insulin for 25 years.  A silver medal for 50 years and a gold medal for 75 years. I had never heard of the medals until I got the letter yesterday. It is nice to honor all the people who have spent so much time managing a disease that has never been easy for so many.

It is strange after opening the letter that evening then I have strange dreams afterwards. I know it was weird last night I had dreams about a really bad low where I did not have enough energy to walk to the kitchen to get juice so I crawled to the kitchen. It probably took me 20 minutes to get to the fridge and get the juice I wanted so badly. The weird part of this low is that I had stuff to treat lows in my room but I just had to have juice. I know I had juice for many years growing up to treat lows so I guess I go back there from time to time. These days unless I get the weird urge for juice I really don't use it to treat very many lows these days. I thought the timing of the dream was interesting but it also gave me a great deal to reflect back upon. A couple years ago things were much more chaotic and scary. Thankfully I am now pushing my self to run and expand my exercise further.

I know I feel like I am heading in the right direction the more I see improvements in a great deal of Diabetes related items. I actually felt a low which was strange to me it was a really light twitching but really freaked me out because I am so used to no feeling of lows at all except the occasional occurrence. I have seen my night time blood sugar start to mellow out and have less lows over night as well. I have seen increased awareness of lows earlier if I do notice them. I get a foggy thought process which I seem to clue into a times. I am hoping that my aspiration of a half marathon will only further help me to continually improve my health.


Lilly Diabetes Journey Awards Application and Information

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Finally Settling Down

I am finally seeing a major shift back to more stable blood sugars. The affects of the predisone seems to be dwindling as time goes on. I can now bolus again from my pump for meals and not inject manually the dosage and if under a unit use my pump. I really missed being able to just dial it in over the past couple of months. I have also seen at night where my blood sugars are not up and down all night but instead is very level like 85 all night which is what I used to see all time. While I was on predisone I was seeing a surge up and then a large drop twice a night. Other times I was running in the 140's all night which is not terrible.

I know Duchess is now alerting less during the day which is a really nice break for her. She was really looking tired after several month of predisone. The affects of predisone were not fun but I do feel blessed that I was able to start exercising again sooner because I was able to feel better. I know my exercise in a great deal of ways helps me to be more focused and also reduce my stress. Which is difficult because work in general where I work is incredibly stressful.

So glad to see things calming down again and hopefully continued success with  less lows. Right now I am having very few lows and even during exercise I have gotten more successful with avoid lows most of the time. That is a huge accomplishment for me. The longer I do it the more creative I get and the better it seems to work. I know I can't always do the same things as others but I know I am getting their.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

New Things to Try

I had the honor to receive a copy of the cook book "Sweet Debbie's Organic Treats" from Debbie Adler. She runs a highly successful business in LA since 2006. I have tried two recipes so far from the book and loved both.


The Recipe I tried was the Blueberry Strueusel Donut Holes. I like the fact they were incredibly moist and not too overly heavy. Debbie's Recipe has a special flour mixture she used which I know made a big difference in how this recipe turned out when I made them at home. I could not find the coconut nectar in my area so I had to order from Amazon which does carry it. In order to test the recipe sooner I used agave instead of the coconut nectar but had to add more water because the agave is much thicker than the coconut nectar would be. I just adjusted the water amount as I mixed the ingredients until it was a soft dough. If you use the coconut nectar there will be no need for adjustments. The overall taste of the donut holes were great they were not too heavy but still like a donut hole would normally be. I enjoyed the fact that I did not have any blood sugar spikes and the recipes do have the Carbohydrates listed which made for easier dosing. The recipe would be great for type 2 Diabetics as well with it being lower carbohydrates and sugar.

I have included the recipe below. I will also provide the recipe for the flour mixture as well.

Flour Mix will make more than needed for this receipe but can be stored for future use.

Instructions for flour use.

 I loved the two recipes I have tried so far. I will try to make more recipes in the next couple of weeks and share them with you. I love the chocolate cookie recipe I tried and the flour mixture that she uses for her recipes is not only healthy but also really makes for a great tasting deserts and breads. I know I love the two recipes I have tried so far and looking forward to trying more as I have time. I am hoping you all enjoy the recipe like I have. Also if you are unable to find some of the flours I recommend Amazon they also have a large selection of gluten free flours at a reasonable price.You can find Debbie's book on Amazon and most book stores such as Barnes and Nobles.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Continued Improvements

Yesterday was a busy day at the office. We added new members to our team which will be assisting our department. I know this will hopefully help to keep the overtime like it currently is where I am working around 12-14 hours a week which is not bad. I know after many years of working six or seven days a week this is a much needed change. I know Duchess is much happier with this change as well because I know the moments of scary really affect her a great deal. So me being seizure free and not as bad period of constant lows has left me feeling a great deal better.

I have not had issues making it to wok on time because I am not having as many lows. I am not sure if that is because I am exercising or I am just getting better at adjustments or changes that need to be done to avoid the really bad stuff. I know this year has been much better so far than the past two years so I am beyond pleased and I know If I keep working at things I am hoping to avoid as really bad lows as possible but I know it is not fully possible to avoid all bad lows. So I am hoping with the changes at work I will have more time for me and for Duchess because honestly it can makes things miserable if you are working too much.

I have also noticed recently that I am doing better with my recovery from lows it has dropped dramatically the time it takes me to recover especially when I am at work. I know when I first started back to work I struggled greatly of after treating lows to get my body to stay in normal range. Thankfully I have been able to avoid that most days and have found that if I keep working things are continually improving.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Great Changes Over the Past Year

It has been such a different year for me this year I have done a great deal of things I never thought I would do. I have been very forthcoming on what I need at work and it has paid off for me. I have also been a little more up front of where I am at with my own family when it comes to my Diabetes the problem is that they are not very accepting of it at this point. I have been feeling like I am finally starting to understand exercise and my Hypoglycemia Unawareness and I have had fewer days with lows and if they happen they are at the tail end of my exercise which is an outstanding improvement. I have accomplished so much in numerous ares of my life but I have not been very happy. I guess a couple months ago I said to myself that I thought I would not be able to run a half marathon. I guess because I gave up it really made me unhappy. I have been discussing things with my family about how much I want to do it and looks like I am going to go for it.

Life is way to short to no to continually try to achieve your dreams and I honestly don't want my Diabetes to win. I know without the support of my medical team I would not be event trying this and I know if I had not mentioned it at my last appointment they would not have shared what they did. I always recommend running these issues by your Dr.'s because you might be really surprised by what they tell you. I know I just want to feel like I was doing something nice for myself. I do not do enough for myself most of the time. I normally and helping friends or family with issues. I feel like this is a time in my life I need this for me.

I know this will be a great deal of learning for me as I train but I know I can do it. I know this will be good for Duchess as well. I will need to figure out how I can do this but I know it is possible. I have started running and plan to continue to train. I guess we will see where it takes me and what I learn along the way. i honestly have been getting bored in some ways with the same old so I guess it time to add more challenges to my life. I at times really do well with pushing myself to do more. Hoping that I can continually achieve great things and not doubt myself like I was previously.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Recent Article From Insulin Nation

I have been struggling after my recent low. Not because of what happened but because of the negative song and dance from the Dr. at the hospital. I know I was not ready to share this until now. I know normally when I go in they advise me to make adjustments and see my Endocrinologist to follow up which I have done. This Dr. told me that the low should have not happened and I need to work on this issue. I told the Dr. I have Hypoglycemia Unawareness and I told him a great deal of patients with this have increased lows normally. I know from a great deal of people I have meet with Hypoglycemia Unawareness it is like some one turned on a water hose and you can't turn it off. I know I work very hard to keep myself safe but this is an issue of several factors increasing the odds of having a bad low. I know I was just upset at his response of not commenting after I explained my medical history. I know the Dr. seems to think that all Diabetics can avoid lows and it is easy to control. I know mine has never been easy even as a child so why would it be easy now.

The Dr. kept insisting that I need to figure out a way to avoid this at all costs and that I was basically wasting his time. I know I am not perfect but it was insulting on all levels that he treated me so badly when I do the best I can. I am always trying to do the best I can. The Dr. did not see me during the worst part of my Hypoglycemia Unawareness which was the beginning and things were extremely scary. I know they thought this was a bad low but it was not. I know I did my best to explain that my condition has involved seizures since I was little in fact a month after diagnosis was my first. So once I explained that my Diabetes has always been difficult the Dr. finally started to lay off your a bad Diabetic routine. I know I don't need to be told I was lucky that people were around or that I need to be more careful. I know the risks involved with insulin after my 34 years of experience.

I know I don't need a guilt trip because I always feel incredibly guilty, ashamed and upset at the time. I don't need a person who has never been a Diabetic and spewing information you read in medical school when it is not always correct. Diabetes is and will always be challenging but I don't need physicians making it more difficult for me to deal with. I know I wish I could avoid them completely but this year I have done better than last year and the year before. I have been seizure free over a year and half. I think I am doing better. I know my friends all wish they had known what to do because we would have avoided this whole situation. Advocating for one self after low was incredibly difficult but was handled pretty well by me because after the low I really cranky and tired. I have attached an article from Insulin Nation on another Diabetics shaming experience by an EMT.