Friday, November 21, 2014

It was So Much More

I went to receive my Lilly Journey Award at the party my Dr.'s office was throwing last night. I arrived and the room was really full of people. There was 30 25 years medals presented and 12 50 year medals to be presented. I noticed as I walked in the room that by far I was the youngest person receiving a medal in the 25 year category. I guess I was really surprised by this because I have meet quite a few people diagnosed like I was at 18 months old. So I was a little surprised. I had a really delightful time talking with a man and his wife. He was relieving his 50 year medal. They asked how long I had had Diabetes and I told them 34 years. The man says to me their is not way you are even 30 years old but I am in my 30's so it was a very nice compliment.

I meet quite a few people and their was also Dexcom representative, Fifty 50 Diabetic Supplies representative and  Eli Lilly Representatives. I was shocked that Eli Lilly executives were their last night to present the medal to us. I just thought Amy my Physician's Assistant and My Endocrinologist would be the one's presenting the awards. They did a video presentation and then the awards were given. I know when I received my award my I was extremely proud and honored. I was struck with a incredibly deep sadness at the same time. I was thinking of my mother as I was receiving my award and thinking how proud she would be of me today. I know I was able to meet so many patients it was incredible to be in a room full of incredible people who are fight the same disease. I know my head is still spinning after last night from all the interactions.

I went home last night and cried. I was really missing my mother who also was a type 1 if she was still alive she would have meet her 25 year anniversary as well. I know I will always miss her she was such an incredible person who did so much for me and I eternally grateful to have her as my mom. I know I just needed to cry in happiness and sadness last night. I know I will be thinking a great deal about my mother as the holidays approach but I know she was with me last night when I received my medal.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Feeling More Relaxed

I am happy that today is much less stressful after all the co motion at work has settled. There was a great deal of fluctuation yesterday in my blood sugar because of all the changes at work. I am okay with the change because it is meaning that my job is becoming more manageable  as things will change. I know that working out every night this week has really seemed to help me cope with all the craziness. I know the next couple of months will be more stressful and I plan to continue to make sure that I am able to continue to exercise as things continue to be stressful. I have noticed that before this year I would have been having a great deal of lows right now because of all the stress but this time I feel relaxed and focused. It is really nice to know that my exercise is really helping me to handle things better.

I know after this week a good distraction is just what I need. I am really looking forward to my Lilly Journey Award presentation by my Dr.'s office tonight for my 25 year medal. I know it seems strange to be getting it now with my 35th year Diabetes anniversary coming up next March. I am still amazed with the fact that my Dr. office is making this such a bid deal but it really also makes receiving the medal a little more special. I know all of Diabetes work hard to keep things going day after day so tonight will be a nice reminder of this. I know I am also looking forward to meeting other long term type 1 Diabetics at the event. I am hoping they continue to offer more events for to attend. I have to say I do love my Endocrinologist team.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Shocking Changes

I know yesterday events are still in my head. I never expected my boss to be laid off yesterday along with a supervisor for another part of Inventory. I know my boss and me have had issues along the way but we always were able to work it out. I just never dreamed that this would happen. I know we added new people to our department recently which I have benefited from greatly so I am happy they did so. I am still in a state of shock and I am not sure how to process two people who have been here much of  the past three years. I know them being laid off has me incredibly concerned with my own job as well. We did have a big meeting for all staff to discuss any questions or concerns but honestly I was so shocked I could barely put together all the questions I had.

I know I felt the stress coming on yesterday and I knew working out would help me to clear my head for at least an hour or two. I know it was cold out but going to the gym was the best decision. I left feeling overall better and a little less like I had an elephant on my back. I am still upset today and I know I was upset because it is the holidays and anyone losing a job right now is not good. Thankfully they told us during the meeting that they will get paid for the next 60 days their normal paychecks while on Administrative Leave. The University will get them first priority in finding a job with in the University with another department. So hopefully they will be able to find employment quickly. I know I am hoping that I will be able to not feel like I am on the way out because people were laid off. The HR said we had too many employee's which means they don't have the budge to pay for all our salaries. I feel blessed to have my job today but I am still concerned. They assured us that the lay offs were done but I am not sure I believe that.

The interesting thing about all the shock my blood sugars really stayed steady and my night time lows were a minimum. So even though I did not sleep much and there is a great deal of changes I have to say at least my Diabetes was not causing more chaos this morning and yesterday. I normally would expect big drops and or big surges up or down. Thankfully my Diabetes was okay. I know working out probably really helped me to keep things more level.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Double Checking

I normally know if I have a high blood sugar I need to make sure my hands were clean. This weekend I was busy rushing around and tested. It said 226 but my Dexcom was saying 148. I bolused and then it finally dawned on me that yes I should have gotten out some alcohol wipes out and cleaned my hands before I bolused. Sure enough I was really 148 and not 226. So I ended up eating something because I did not want to crash. I was not hungry so I was not the happiest person having to eat more because of my mistake. So I checked my blood sugar on Sunday and It was high in the morning saying I was 294 but I decided to double check before I bolused. Sure enough I was actually 132 instead of 294 which made me very happy. It is so easy to just bolus but I know I feel better if I feel normal but the meter is telling me something different.

I know I am glad I did not rage bolus during both of these times because I would be eating quite a bit of food if that was the case. I am glad its a new week but a great reminder if you think your blood sugar is not making sense wash hands and retest. I know if I do use alcohol I let it dry completely before pricking my finger that way I do not skew the results with the alcohol. I am glad that I am doing more thinking before I act especially when it comes to my blood sugars. That way I give myself time to evaluate what might be going on or if I need to send more insulin in. Thankfully my blood sugars were overall not too bad and thankfully my blood sugars were not bad overnight. So I was actually able to sleep. I know I really need that sleep to avoid bad lows.

Friday, November 14, 2014

World Diabetes Day

It feels like this year that World Diabetes Day is here so quickly. I know this year I have felt a little overwhelmed by it all in some ways but I think we all do during this one month especially. I know I have been blogging for several years now and I still can't believe I have been doing it this long. I know I am inspired by you all and I really appreciate all the support over the past couple of years. I know I feel like I have a family of sorts. I know since my own family seems to truly of forgotten about things it is nice to know others truly understand and that is priceless.

I know after my recent seizure I realized I need to forgive myself because at the end of the day I am human and I will make mistakes even with 34 years under my belt. I know my family seems to think I won't make mistakes but I know I do from over bolusing, to rage bolusing, and other things. I know at times I may not register in my own brain that yes I need to treat my low or that I need to eat more. I know I will always do my best and at the end of the day that is enough. I know I am still learning as I go and I think we all are no matter how long we have had Diabetes.

I know we all tend to get so wrapped up in how things went wrong that sometimes we forget that things are not always that simple to figure out. So I know I am glad that I am able to say to myself that I did the best I could and I am moving on. I am looking forward to being able to join in the Twitter chats later today.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

A Little Uneasy

There is a great deal of the time I feel incredibly frustrated dealing with my own family. I know because of the distance between my family and me they tend to not always be aware of the moments of scary that I have from time to time. I know my Dad last time I was home got all pissed off because I had a bad low when I was at his house but yet had no gluten free items either. So I know this time I am sending a box of gluten free items in advance to his house so I have the items I am used to for this reason. Last time I stayed at my grandmas house and she was really helpful in that she bought plenty of gluten free items I could eat. Grandma always has ice cream and other things I could eat on hand. So this time staying with my father has me worried because he fights me on the fact I have Celiac disease. He thinks its a lifestyle choice but it's not. My whole family back home thinks the lows are my fault even though I am doing the best I can.

This combination of factors really makes me nervous about going home for the holidays. I know when people are not around to see the low and the moments of scary they tend to forget. I know they were all there as I was growing up but they seemed to have forgotten what it was like. I know with them forgetting no matter what I am doing I will be blamed that is a great deal of pressure for me to make sure I don't have a bad low but I am not sure I can prevent them all. I know after my recent seizure I am likely to have another possibly so I need to be as on top of things as possible. I know my experience last time has left me feeling overwhelmed. I know my family does not want to talk about complications or other issues. I do not let them know about bad issues when they happen because I feel like they just lead to harsh judgements. I do talk with my sister about some of my bad lows or seizures but not all of them. So I feel a little vulnerable when I visit home.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Reactions From Public

Some days I have to laugh at the reactions I see from Duchess being in stores, malls and airports is quite entertaining.  There is the people who make a huge deal that they are afraid of dogs but they are also coming right up next to her. Then there is the people who bark at Duchess which is quite strange that an adult would bark at a dog. I know I expect that from children but not adults. Then there are the people who are allergic to dogs who ask me to leave the store, but I generally tell them to shop in different aisles from me and Duchess. I always try to be accommodating as possible. There are times though I actually think the people are making things up as a reason I should not be in the store. I do see some people who see her and think that they can do a walk by pet and think it is acceptable.

The one reaction I hate the most is the screaming children who when they see her make it a huge deal. I am not sure why they have that reaction, but people in public tend to make things more difficult for a service dog team when they scream and yell. They tend to draw attention which I know I don't want. Most of the time my goal is to get in and out a place like a normal person would. I know people do not mean to cause issues when I am out shopping or getting things done but making a huge fuss tends to make things more difficult for us. I know Duchess and I am are used to all the fuss, but honestly I would love the opportunity to feel a little more normal. These days life is already stressful enough but having just a little less is always appreciated. When a service dog is around I know it can be exciting and interesting.

I have some tips on how to interact with service dog teams

Avoid asking about disability because that is truly a very personal question and in fact these days I normally do not answer those questions because I have meet quite a few who knowledge is not accurate about Diabetes.

Do not attract attention to service dog teams. The dog is there to assist their handler. Most handlers love to not have attention drawn to them. They are trying to live a normal life.

Do not try to distract a service dog they attention is needed for the tasks they were trained for. Such as kissy noises, barking, screaming, and other loud noises.

Do not pet a service dog without permission. Some dogs like Duchess can become distracted at times and she needs her space to be able to do her job appropriately.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Discussion in the Grocery Store

Service Dog Stop Sign WORKING - DO NOT PET While Working 3 x 5 inch Black Rim Sew-on Patch 

I was at the grocery store on Sunday shopping and was approached by a woman. She came over to tell me she loved the line on her patch " I don't pet you while you are working". I know she was laughing at how catchy the patch was. I told her that if I can get the general public to think before they pet they might realize that they really need to keep their hands to themselves. I know the woman said she could not understand why people do not follow the instructions. I told her the children are the best at following what the patches say, but the adults are the issue most of the time. She said that did not surprise her. I know she said she wish more people knew that disrupting her does not help her when she is working. I could not agree more. I know the more people that leave her alone the more it allows me to just concentrate on what I am doing and less on what other people are doing. I know so far this patch really seems to be stopping people in their tracks which I am thankful for.

I then was at another store close by that I pick up certain items at which is a larger grocery store chain. A woman at check out commented that Duchess did not seem happy. I told her that a grocery store for her is an obstacle course in a great deal of ways. She has been hit by carts and people bump into her and she has had kids bug her. I know that even for me grocery stores are my lease favorite place to take Duchess because of all the hazards we both can face. Things like dogs paws being stepped on, things falling off the shelves, carts and other issues like wet floors. All these can really make shopping not so much fun. I know I used to not hate shopping at grocery stores the way I do today. I also know that thankfully I am able to limit the trips to the store most of the time which makes us both happier.