Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Another Flight

I know I am all packed and ready for the flight to California tonight. I have everything packed and ready to go. I leave shortly after work tonight to head to the airport. I am ready for the whole process. I did notice that TSA changed the policy on how they want service dogs to go through the metal detectors which actually would mean that both her and I would end up being patted down. I know I normally take off all of her gear, leash and collar. The reason I do that is so the TSA does not need to pat her down. I also make sure I do not have anything that will set off the metal detector as well. I do my best to make the process as easy as possible when I do fly. The website says they want the serviced dogs on a leash through the process but the issue with that is that it will set off the metal detector every time we go through. So I  will be doing what I normally do and I am sure I will get through like I normally do. I always get my hands swabbed because I do not go through the Imaging system to check for bomb material which is fine.

I know once I get through the TSA part I can sit down relax and wait for my flight which should not be bad. Normally Duchess does her part to keep my blood sugars in range. I know every time we fly she seems to be extra vigilant with my alerts which I really appreciate. I know we have flown quite a few times together so I am never nervous about flying. I know my first time flying with Duchess I was really extremely nervous about how it would go but every thing went really well. I know I did research to make sure I was aware of the rules and guidelines for flying with Duchess. I know the first flight did have glitches like them insisting that Duchess has to have a card stating she was a service dog or some identification. I did not have that and was able to get around the issue. I know every time I fly it can go either way. Most of the time most people do not realize I have a disability or any issues but I do have issues. Thankfully they seem to observe her behavior and then let us go on our way.

I know I have to say I love flying with Southwest Airlines because they always take such great care of us when we fly. They try to make the process as easy as possible which makes me more willing to fly more often. I know I have had issues with other airlines but Southwest normally will get me bulk head seats which is really helpful because Duchess sits on my feet for the most part or my feet are around her. It can be tight and not much room to move but better than squeezing Duchess into an even smaller seat. 

Monday, June 29, 2015

Injured Leg Again

I know I have been watching Duchess do some weird things when walking and I am trying to now have video's with the help of my friends to show the vet. She when standing up looks completely normal but when walking I thought at first it was her being difficult but I even see the issues when she is running as well. She is very quick but her leg when watching it seems like it has to be painful or possibly another issue. I am not sure what the issue is but it is not fun to see how she walks currently it can be very difficult to watch for me personally. I know previous times when this injury started a while back they always treat it the same way but I have a feeling they have misdiagnosed the problem because they are not seeing the injury to the full extent. So I am hoping that I can capture this injury the best I can because I feel like they are not really seeing what I am able to see on a daily basis.

I know the injury did not look so bad previously but I feel like it looks worse now than it did in the past.  So I know the key hopefully to me finding out what needs to be done to address this issue. I know Duchess tends to hide issues from me such as when she injures herself so I know I need to be careful because she is not really able to tell me when things are painful or bother her.  So I make sure to try to catch things as early as possible. I know this injury seems to be recurring and that makes me think that the vet is not addressing the real issue because it seems to be an ongoing issue. I am hoping that with some good videos that I can get Duchess back to a point where she is comfortable as possible.

Friday, June 26, 2015


I know I hate the word control because it comes with connotations of responsibility and failure. I know when I hear the word control and Diabetes in the same sentence it makes me angry. I know I hear that word way too frequently from Emergency room Dr.'s about how I need to work harder to control my Diabetes. I then do my song and dance about the fact that how many things can affect one's blood sugar.  I know I manage is my preferred word of choice because I do the best I can with what I have. Even with all the technologies today I find myself in not so great places such as bad lows and previously seizures. I know no matter how much I work I cannot guarantee that I will do the right thing every time. It is so easy to over estimate carbohydrate or under estimate carbohydrates. It is also so easy for my setting to be great for a while and then one day I need to change several setting because I need more or less insulin.

I know when I talk with my family they seem to think I am not controlling my Diabetes well. The truth of the matter is that Hypoglycemia Unawareness has made me even more prone to lows in general. I know I exercise frequently to recover from bad lows without assistance when possible. I work really hard to make the proper adjustments. I know I have made very difficult decisions as a person with complications will have to make. I know at the end of the day I manage my Diabetes very well even though I do have the occasional low. I know ideally I would have none but I also am realistic that even when I was a kid I had quite a few bad lows.

I know I don't control my Diabetes I can only manage it. I know I am tired of people assuming that you can prevent them all when I know not all things can be prevented. I also hate that I have ever had to deal with bad lows at all but sadly I find that is part of being a Diabetic. I really wish the word control and Diabetes will never ever be used. I know it tends to be used by people who really have no real understanding of what it is like to live with Diabetes.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

When Frustration Gets In the Way

I know recently I have been noticing my self start to slack on testing and especially at night. I know right now since I moved I have not heard my Dexcom at night at all. So I know I need to work on making sure I can hear my Dexcom again. I know that my current system is not working because hearing my Dexcom is really helpful in me treating issue promptly. I know I also have in general been slower to test when I am low as well which is never good. I am also aware this could cause Duchess to delay alerting or stop alerting in general which is never a good thing.

I know I am doing better today and trying my best to get back to a normal routine. I know everything is starting to get back to old way of doing things. I have made some permanent changes in some ways which will help me in the long run. I know my frustration in general has been high at times and I know this is also playing a part in my lack of motivation. I do test numerous times a day but not as much I normally do. I do test before I eat like normal but I am slacking on the 2 hour post meal tests. So I am having to get myself back on track is going well but I know it taking some effort. I know in the long run I need to keep myself on track. I also know that this month has been difficult and full of change.

So I am not going to be hard on myself because it happens to us all. I also know that even with all the tools I have we all get frustrated with the technology. I know for example the Dexcom is not right quite a bit of the time. I can move up slightly and Dexcom thinks I jumped up 50 points when it was only 5. So I know that does play a part in feeling frustrated with my technology. I know for example I woke up at 4:30am this morning to hearing that the batter was low, insulin was low and it saying my blood sugar was 150. So I had to get up to address all three issues at once. I know days like this can only add to the frustration at times.

I know tomorrow is a new day and also a day I can start fresh and stay on top of my blood sugars in my normal manner. It is also another chance of getting things done right and also allowing myself to move on from my week and half of feeling frustrated. Thankfully I tend to get back to my normal pretty quickly.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Getting Back to Normal Routine

I know recently with all the constant changes I know it has been challenging. I know last night I finally am back to my normal routine of going to the gym after work as normal. I know last week I was just exhausted from the move and I was trying to just get my life into a routine of sorts. I know I was worried how Duchess would react to going to a new gym. I know she loved going to old gym they all new her by name and they seemed to love having her there. I know last night it was nice the gym was double in size and had more machines. I was able to workout on the machines I needed and no one bothered me. I did have quite a few who came up attempting to pet Duchess. So I know I will have to battle this issue again but I will educate them as I go.

Duchess was really happy to go to the gym and seemed not fazed by the fact that it was not our normal gym. She loved just being back at the gym. I didn't realize how much more energy I would have waking up this morning. It was a good reminder of how much better I will feel  being back to working out frequently. I also know that I did quite well even with lows overnight which was great. I know I use the exercise as a stress reliever and I also know it seemed to make Duchess happy as well. I know in some ways even with it being a different location Duchess seemed to be happy just to be back at the gym. She was on top of letting me know early that my blood sugar was dropping quickly.

I know yesterday Duchess decided to not be her normal cooperative self. I know she was really testing me in some ways. I know Duchess can be challenging at times. She used to have a back yard but where I am staying now only has the option to be outside when I walk her or take her out. So I know that is a big reason for the struggle. I did get her to do what I needed her to do but it was not much fun doing so. I know this morning she was really needing to have things be back to normal. She put her paw on my foot the whole bus ride into work. She was much more affectionate than usual. I am glad we got through the struggle and was able to get things back to normal today. She tends to apologize in her own way.

Monday, June 22, 2015

Changing Alerts

I know recently I have noticed that Duchess has been changing her alerts. She now is making it less clear because at times she will bring a toy to a person instead of her Bringsel. So I am not reviewing how I want Duchess to alert people. She normally will alert with the agreed upon alerts but at times she will randomly want to change the alerts to most of the time things I really don't like. I know at times she likes to bump my hands but I find that one drives me crazy.

 So I am always looking for a very clear alert verses an alert that can be confused. I know I let my friend know about the changes in the alerts so they have an idea of what she might possibly do during an alert. I like the Bringsel as an alert and also the licking of the hands. She will whine or make noises at times if she feels the people are not paying enough attention. She always seems to get their attention but I prefer it to be quickly so they can get it treated and it not involve EMS.

So I am working with her to use the Bringsel more and try  to use the less clear alerts. I know when I am traveling especially I don't want to get myself in a bad situation. Thankfully when I am travelings she tends to be especially vigilant with keeping me safe. She tends to alert earlier and stay on top of my blood sugars better.  I know with moving and being around other people I think it is very important to let her use the most obvious of alerts because it will benefit me the most. I know I am hoping that Duchess will go along with the changes in the alerts. At times we disagree greatly on what the alerts should be. I know I have to work with her to get this figured out pretty quickly.

Friday, June 19, 2015

I Was Unsure of the Effects

I know I have been worried a great deal this week about Duchess because of all the changes the move has brought. There is really very little that is the same these days. Which I know can be very difficult for Duchess to handle. I know Duchess has lows some weight and is not eating as much at times. So I am going to have to add more to her diet. I know I normally use Greek yogurt full fat to get her to gain weight which is what I am going to do now. I know she was losing weight during all the commotion I call my life during this past month. I know that is she is my partner and means the world to me. I will always worry like she is my child. She has kept me safe for the past five year and I am blessed to have her. I am trying to figure out my life and also try to put the pieces back together. I know my blood sugars actually have been great since I moved so I can now focus on what I need to do for Duchess.

I know she will adjust over the next couple of weeks and I know having a week off from work July 2 for a week will really help her. I know I am looking forward to taking her to the beach and hiking while in Sonoma. I know visiting my friends will also help me as well. I feel like some one dropped a brick on my life and It destroyed a great deal of things in my life. I know I will always be concerned about my blood sugars and this time period is no exception. I know I am really looking forward to sky diving again. I know it really made my life so much more exciting in a good way. I know I feel like a good day of Sky diving would really be great right now but it will have to wait till my vacation. I know things will get better with time in general. I know concerning my Diabetes things have continually seemed to be improving with less and less issues. 

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Changes Equals Surprises

I have noticed that both Duchess and I are adjusting to all the changes this week. I have noticed that Duchess is not eating as much as she normally does as well. I know we all deal with change in different ways. I know she has been sad in some ways because of the changes. I know we have taken the same bus for three and half years with the same people. We have good friends I would ride the bus with and I know I miss them as well. I know we will make new friends soon but I know I will need to move to a new location in next couple of months. I am hoping to find a great place to live where I can be comfortable and also stay for a bit if I decide to stay in the current city I live. I know I am still evaluating my life and what I need for me personally.

I know I am working on making sure Duchess is happy as well because I depend upon her. Her being happy will make her work easier for both of us and I truly want a happy and healthy service dog. So I know this is a learning curve for me as well since we have never moved until last weekend. So I am also learning so much from Duchess through this experience. I know I have been so much more tired than usual but that I am sure is from all the change and new routines. I know I am trying to keep up my old workout routine as well which means a  new location. I also am learning where my favorite store are located as well. So I am taking everything in and pretty happy that I am in a more relaxed place.

I know Duchess will adjust like I have to the changes but I am sure for her it can take a little longer. I know I have kept as much as possible the same so she has some familiarity in her routine. I know she was really excited that she has her regular toys at reach and has her familiar favorite dog treats. So I am also trying to introduce her to other dogs in our area as well because she needs to make new friends as well. I am sure in time she will adjust to all the changes.