Friday, October 30, 2015

Increased Alerting After the Move

I know with all the recent changes in Duchess's life I was really worried that her alerting would be affected by all these changes. I really happy to say that Duchess is actually alerting even better now than she was before the move.  Duchess has always been great at alerting but now she seems much happier about life in general. I know things have been incredibly busy with the move, job hunting and just unpacking. I know I was also worried that with having two diabetics around might be tough for her but she seems to take it all in stride. I know having two of us around does not seem to bother her at all. I know she does tend to alert to John when my blood sugars are off for good reason I am sure. I know most of the time if she does alert I do test and take care of it but I also know there was times when I am too far gone to respond to her alerts. I am thankful that she loves her new home and loves our new life. She seems generally more relaxed and happy now.


I know Duchess has some separation anxiety which I am trying to work on but when I am going to interviews she freaks out. I know John is with her but she generally is so worried about me but I do run my blood sugars higher during interviews to avoid the CGM alarming and also so I can just concentrate on getting the job instead of worrying if I am going to go low.  I know it has been hard on Duchess waiting for me while I am in interviews but it does seem to help her. I know we have found that if John takes here vest off while I am gone she calms down and relaxes. Once I get back in the car we put her vest back on and she is back to work again. I know Duchess has some interesting needs when I am away but at least it seems to help lessen her separation anxiety. Some days she does wonderful when I am gone to get the mail or things that are close to the house. So at least I am making progress in dealing with the separation anxiety.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Last Couple of Weeks

I have to say since I had my seizure after the incident with the Verio IQ not working properly I have been battling some tough lows and other seizures. I know I have been so caught up in getting settled applying for jobs. It has been difficult getting back into writing my blog. I know a recent seizure John had to deal with again. I know he never gets made at me for it but I am finding for me it has been incredibly difficult. I know the reason why is the guilt I feel for having so many lows since August when he first arrived in Austin. I know some of the lows were because of my meter but I still feel incredibly responsible for these incidents. I know I feel at times the guilt is eating me alive. I know he loves me and we would not be together if we didn't care for each other. I just didn't expect to feel this overwhelming guilt around with me. I know in the past when I was on vacation and this happened it was not the same in some ways.

I know I lucky to have him in my life and I am very thankful. I know after my second recent seizure and bad low. I told John that I wish this wasn't my life which is so unlike me but I actually think I really meant it at that moment. I feel like I am a burden to him and not that he feels that way but it has to be a lot to deal with glucagon shots and scary seizures. I know he seems to take it all in stride because he is also a Diabetic too. I know I have helped him during lows too but it just feel so different because his are so rare. I know I was told by my old coworker that I lived with for a short period time that she really had no idea how scary my life is and how difficult it must be. I know I do my best but at times like these I really struggle with what I can do with the guilt of these events even if they weren't preventable. I know as I am writing this I am trying to not cry because I feel so overwhelmed by it all. I know Duchess has really helped in alerting John to these events but I still feel like that is not enough.

I know now were are discussing getting the latest Dexcom G5 because John can monitor my blood sugars while he is at work when I am at home. That would be helpful but I know I am never good about sharing my Dexcom graphs with my family but I have shown them to him in the past. I know now he wakes me up in the middle of the night he hears my Dexcom go off and I am hearing his Dexcom as well at night. I know this data sharing is something I need to be open to because it does mean that he could help if I needed it. So it does take some getting used to because I have cared for my Diabetes for so many years independently from others. I know when I am high I get cranky and when I am low I get tired of hearing about it. So having him contact me when I am low would take some adjustment on my part to stay positive with him trying to be helpful. I am pretty sure once I get back to working again that will be one of the first things I purchase. I know I need to do as much as possible to keep me safe regardless of how I feel about sharing the data.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

A New Experience that Taught me so Much

I am still job hunting. I ended up taking a temporary position for the first time in my life because honestly I was not handling not working very well. I am so used to this high paced and hundred a mile an hour pace. I also know that this process has been strange for Duchess as well because we are home more often than usual because I am spending so much time applying for jobs. I  have to say I was never planning of using a temporary agency but it actually turned out okay. Once I got the job assignment I then told them about Duchess. The temp agency was not happy to say the least but the place I was assigned to loved Duchess. It was an incredible assignment which made me realize that yes my work experience really could be pleasant compared to my old job. I know it gave me hope that I could possibly find a good employer who would be supportive of having Duchess.

I learned so much from this experience so now I know more what I am looking for in a job. I know my experience at my last job was not great but I also know what I would do differently next time if it got to that point. I am hoping to find an employer who values me more as an employee but also values how productive and how much I add to the work place. I know I am looking to make my life better in every way possible. Finding the right work place for both of us would be ideal. I am finding that back in 2011 I needed a job and it was the first one that came up. This time I have more options when I am making this decision. I know Duchess is a great service dog and I think the right place she won't have so many complaints about things that are untrue. I know I have a feeling those complaints were more about that the person was generally unhappy with their job and so they just wanted to have some one to complain to.

I know I never planned on going through a temporary agency but it might actually help me make contacts and to network to find other jobs. I know I love my first assignment but I know I can always apply to an opening with this company next year. I am hoping to do some more temporary jobs because it gives me other ideas of where I can work at that I might have not previously considered. I worked at a hospice organization and I found it so rewarding. I know I wish the job was a permanent one because the company was wonderful from what I saw and heard from other inside and out of the organization. I do my homework about the companies before I start to have an idea of what they are going to expect and what I might be doing as well.

Monday, October 12, 2015

I Am Finally Back to Blogging

Thank you all for your patience during the move and after the move. I thought I would have been back to blogging sooner but I am finding that I am still so far behind on everything these days on top of looking for a job. I know it really took some time for me to find places for all my stuff I moved to California. I know I feel like I have not gotten much accomplished when in actuality I have. I know my road trip to California is not one I will soon forget. I know I meet some of John's family and he meet some of my family. It has been an incredible start to our new life together. I know I have been incredibly stressed about not working. I found a temporary job actually a ten minute walk from the Condo I live in. I have to say I am in love with Sonoma and the new life I have now.

Duchess in our new home in Sonoma

I know I had my share of lows during our travels but we used walkie talkies on the drive so If either of us went low we would press a certain button which gave a very noticeable sound. This really helped to make the trip easier. I know this really helped us keep in touch but also made it easier to tell each other if bathroom breaks or stops for food were necessary. I know Duchess really handled the trip quite well even on the long days were we drove for longer periods of time. I have to say that I had no public access issues on the trip as well. Overall it was pretty uneventful but rather a great adventure for John and I. I know I won't forget this trip anytime soon. I know it seemed to only strengthen our relationship. I know I was thankful that we both were wearing our Dexcom's during the trip. It really helped me to make changes to my driving basal rates and make adjustments as necessary. I know it made it easier to see if I was moving up or down.

Leaving Texas and Into New Mexico

I know my life has changed so much in so little time. I know I love Sonoma and love the fact that I can walk to the grocery store and so many other places. I find I am walking more and more each day. The weather here is not as hot as Texas but quite nice and sunny. I love the fact I live so close to the Plaza which is where a great deal of the bars and restaurants in town are. I love the fact that Duchess favorite dog bakery is in the plaza as well. I feel very much at home in Sonoma and I am now starting to meet so many wonderful people. I am looking forward to see what will come. I know my Diabetes had some major blows when I first made it to Sonoma.

I had been using a Verio IQ for several months. One night I was feeling off so I tested it said I was 165 but I really felt like it was oddly low. So I continued to check but my blood sugar seemed to stay between 170-150 range. I kept watching it because it seemed odd. John was working that night so I knew it would just be Duchess and I tonight at home. Duchess kept alerting but every time I tested it was in that range. I know my CGM was showing I was lower in the 70's so I was not sure what was going on. So I left things alone. I know I remember reading a book and that was the last thing I remember that night. I remember waking up to John holding me up against the bed. He said to me you just had a seizure. I guess when John came home Duchess alerted him that something was wrong he ran to the bedroom and found me in a very incoherent state. Then I started to seize. John grabbed the glucagon and injected me. Then he grabbed my meter and tested it said I was 125 he knew that could not be. So he grabbed his meter it read LOW. So my meter was over a hundred points off. If I had know I was low I would have treated it but since my meter was saying other wise I didn't react.


I know I am very upset that I had a seizure because of the meter being off and it brings back the fact that meters need to be more accurate especially since we all rely on them being accurate. I know after that experience I will never again use a Verio meter. I am back to using my old one touch meter which seems to be accurate. I have learned some lessons from this experience. I know now I am now battling to keep seizures at bay not because I didnt test but because my meter was wrong. I also know if my blood sugar had been slightly higher most likely I would have check with my back up meter. I know times like these I am grateful to have Duchess and John around. I also felt incredibly guilty because I didn't realize sooner that my meter had an issue. I know I felt overwhelmed with sadness and guilt over what happened and John assured me that it was not my fault. I know now I am working very hard to keep seizures as bay but the next couple of months will carry more risks of seizures.

I know I will always struggle with things but I am also so pleased that Duchess loves living in Sonoma as much as me. I know I am hoping that our life will be better here and so far it has really been so much less stressful so far. I know I feel better than I have in a long time. I will be trying to blog more as I can in between searching for jobs and settling into my new life. Thank you again for your patience while I took a break from the blog.