Thursday, February 27, 2014

Long Term Issues With Stress

Everything has been so stressful recently because I feel like I work on pins and needles these days. This seems to be causing these soaring highs and fast drops neither which are ideal. That is why looking for a better job is in the works. I am seeing where I drop then am rebounding hours later. The interesting things is that these rebounds are averaging 8 hours after the low and not all lows are causing the rebounds. I feel like I am in a diabetic ping pong game recently that I really want off of. I know a great deal of the weird issues are caused by stress and they get more complicated the longer I stay in the extremely stressful environment. I know I need a change and I am working on it now. I know just knowing I am working on it in many ways makes things seem better. I know I am even looking at jobs outside of Texas because a change of scenery would not be bad either. I am looking at some really interesting jobs and I found one that is sort of a dream job and I am applying once I do a final tweak on my resume this weekend. I know even Duchess seems very affected by all the stress because she knows when I am stressed. Duchess needs to be addressed as well as mine because we are partners in the Diabetes aspects and she is the one alerting

I know I need a change when I have a hard time attempting to do a fake smile when I see my boss anymore. I usually am a happy go lucky person but that is gone completely and my life is not as happy currently. Hoping the possibility of a new job will make things better in general. I know I need to give Duchess and I a brake from all the conflict we have faced working at the University. I know I am tired recently because after a while it all takes a toll on your body and your mind. I am really upset how much trouble it has created blood sugar wise as well but hopefully I can solve this issue soon by getting a new job.

I know that I need to work on my blood sugars till I resolve all the current issues but the issues is that once I solve one another couple pop up. There is not much pattern and it becomes incredibly frustrating especially adding it too a great deal of stress. I am using all the tools I have to help such as Duchess, Dexcom and Pump. 

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Looking For Some Reality

I have been working on finding a good spot on my leg for my Dexcom but the readings are even more crazy than in my arm were when I knew I needed to rotate to a new area. The Dexcom at times will show it is rising quickly but it is really not and then it show a drop extremely slowly when i am dropping quickly. The Dexcom will know I am low about 30 minutes after I had treated which is not helpful. So I am trying to find a good spot on my legs but I have not found it yet. I loved when I was using my stomach but then I kept having false readings all night after a while. Then I tried my arms but that is no longer working. I feel like I am running out of real estate and that is not a good position especially when I need night alerts of lows or highs. I really wish they made sensors that were accurate because I have never really experience much time of them being very close to accurate. Currently a portion of the time it is but most of the time it is off. That makes using the graphs a great deal more difficult especially when it shows false readings but thankfully when I input my blood sugars it does show up on the graph otherwise my Dr. would probably be asking why the drastic changes.

I wish I had the results others seem to get where it is right on most of the time. I feel lucky if it even stays close half the time. I guess sensors and I will not really ever get along. I know technology can be great for some but for others like me I just don't get the results I want. I again think the artificial pancreas will not work for me because getting an accurate sensor does not seem to be working out. I know the system works off the sensors but I think we need some drastic changes before I would ever even want to try one.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Miss Manner's Comment

The recent Miss Manners article listed below at the link or the bottom of the page. This brought me back to my recent issues last year. I know last summer a Coworker told me to never test my blood sugar in public because she get faint from the sight of blood but the interesting things is that I had my fingers under the table and was testing so she had to be looking to see me test. That day I had been low three times before lunch and I needed to eat to get my blood sugar to stay above 80. I know I was so astonished and still am that her sister died of Type 1 several years back but her excuse was that her sister always did it in another room. I have spent most of my life hiding my diabetes to make everyone more comfortable. I am at the point in my life where I am unable to deal with added stress of worrying about what others need because regardless of what I do I seem to upset everyone. I know when I reading the response from miss manners about going to a dirty airplane bathroom is not acceptable. I know with my diabetes being so fragile I get so disoriented by the time I would get to the bathroom they would have a real mess on their hands if I went low. I do everything is the most discrete manner but I test in the grocery store in the aisle, on the bus, I know my blood sugars with having hypoglycemia Unawareness can go from okay to dangerous in minutes. I know as I was reading this advice expletives were running through my head endlessly because this is the kind of advice.

I know I have experienced so many negatives from discrimination to just plain ignorance two years ago I allowed myself to only care about what I need and everyone else can wait or just deal with it. If they get faint they can turn their head or leave the room. I am tired of having to explain myself or accommodate everyone else who does not have a medical condition. I am at the point I just need first and foremost take care of me because no one else is going to do that for me. I know I tend to not always worry about myself enough but the recent changes the past two years has kept me safe. When I travel with Duchess when she alerts I test. I have never heard one complaint the whole time I was traveling. I get questions which I gladly answer. I think having Duchess also tends to attract more laid back people. Which creates less issue of me when I need to test. I know with getting disoriented very quickly I have only one choice and that is to test when and where I am at. I try my best to hide the blood because I know that can upset others but I will not test other places. I think the first and most important thing is our safety as diabetics. Each person is different and I feel this article is the worst advice I have have ever read.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a businessman who frequently flies both domestically and internationally. I also happen to be an insulin-dependent diabetic.
I currently do my glucose testing in my seat. It does involve using a lancet device to get a drop of blood to test, but is fairly unobtrusive. Of course, all lancets, alcohol preps and test strips are stored in my test kit for proper disposal later.
Am I being rude to perform this test next to a stranger? Injections I perform privately in the plane’s lavatory. In the airport, I use the counter by the wash basin, since most water closets have no room for insulin vials and other supplies.
Many people seem to stare and resent the fact of performing such a function in this space. I have also had children ask, “What is that man doing? Isn’t that a bad thing?” (They’re obviously thinking of their drug education classes.) Am I too self-conscious?
GENTLE READER: Absent an emergency, medical applications (like bodily functions and grooming) are properly done out of sight — meaning in private or in a restroom — unless they can be done so surreptitiously as to be unrecognizable as such. Miss Manners does not object to a pill taken at dinner, so long as it is not accompanied by a dissertation on your cholesterol.
The technology associated with diabetes is fast approaching this standard, although Miss Manners draws the line at drawing blood. Restrooms exist to provide a proper location for such necessary activities when away from home, and those who use them have no business monitoring the respectable, if sometimes unaesthetic, activities of others.
You may chose to tell children that it is a medical procedure, or ignore them and let their parents do that. Miss Manners would hope that any parents present would also resolve to teach their children to be more discreet with their curiosity.
New Miss Manners columns are posted Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays on You can send questions to Miss Manners at her Web site,

Friday, February 21, 2014

Spiking Up After Eating

I know recently I have been really frustrated because every morning when I eat my blood sugar shoots up very quickly. I prebolus as usual and have increased the time before I bolus to longer and still shooting up to around 160-170 range. The interesting thing is that my dinner has much more carbs and I have a really slow rise but recently I am soaring anytime I put any food in my mouth in the morning. I am not sure what has caused such a drastic change. I have adjusted the my carb ratio for the morning but still seems to be moving up quickly. I am happy it is not getting higher but I don't like the spiking up quickly. I have been good at not over treating the spiking blood sugars which is great. I don't want to create more lows if at all possible. I have been really good recently for the most part having less lows and only a fast moving high at 12pm which I am back to fighting. So I need to find where I am rebounding from now. I fixed the last place the rebound was coming from.

I know work has been stressful and difficult but overall I have made it a priority to get as much sleep as necessary to keep my blood sugars calm. I am quite frustrated by the new and recent issues but I know I will find a answer of how to fix the issue. Thankfully I have Duchess who lets me know if I am moving up quickly or dropping quickly. Even with that I do tend to stress way to much in particular about highs and especially the one's I have been having at night. I had several occlusions recently at night and I did not hear my alarms so I did not respond right away and so that also was another high. I know in the grand scheme of things a couple highs will not kill me. I am working on keeping my expectations of my blood sugars to be more realistic and be so mad at myself when I am not in range. I know I beat myself up way too much for bad lows or highs which will happen regardless how hard I try.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Thankful For Recent Events

I am so thankful in some ways for the recent events at work because I now have FML for my Diabetes which is extra protection for me. I especially thankful because my coworker gave notice and now they can't expect me to cover his duties as well as mine which is good. I know it will still be stressful but at least they can't expect me to do more than I physically can. I know they will expect me to train the new person and still juggle all my work duties as well and I feel like is not fair either. At this point I am sure they will in some ways try to get me to do some of his job but now I have grounds to say no because of my accommodations. I am thankful that he is leaving because my coworker has not been doing his job much over the past 5 months. So seeing him leave in the long run will be better for me. I am constantly doing portions of his work because the people he deals with will call me for help. I know I just have to get through the next couple of months which won't be easy but at least the previous circumstances with my job is now in many ways protecting me.

I know the longer I deal with the disability issues the more I realize I need to protect myself very well. I know during my recent with the disability coordinator on campus made a disturbing comment about the disabled on campus. Most are struggling with the ability to keep up with the increasing workload like I am in many ways. There is a big push to get rid of many of the disabled workers at UT from what I have seen. The past couple of years they try anything to get a disabled employee to quite. I find it interesting that I have a better attendance record than the people who are not disabled. I am going to continue to document all the issues at work in my log and continue to document any issues that may arise as well. I need to work very hard to keep myself protected at work. I never dreamed my job would become so very complicated because I needed accomidations.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Leave The Pet's at Home

I went to grocery store recently and saw another faker in the store. The dog was a boxer which is not used frequently as a service dog but could be used. The owner was shopping the dog had not vest and I find it interesting how the dog did not have a vest when I find it really makes things easier. I watched the dog carefully as I was reaching for some hummus. The dog then puts a block of cheese in its mouth. The owner seems oblivious that her so called service dog was breaking all rules. A service dog should not be trying to eat the food off the floor or in the store in general. The dog seemed to listen to basic commands pretty well but I was really disappointed that someone thought they could bring their pet into the store and it would be fine. It makes Duchess look bad when your dog puts cheese in its mouth when we are in the store. Knowing my luck the person would probably try to blame Duchess for her dogs wrong doing.

I really wish people would just leave your pets at home. Even though they may be well behaved they have not been trained how to handle situations such as a grocery store or a mall for example. Duchess had plenty of training and handles those situations well. I just wish that people understood why taking your dog to the store jeopardizes my rights to have my service dog with me in the future. I depend upon Duchess more than I like to admit but it works for me. I just wish people who had pets could leave them at home where they are most comfortable and happy. There is not need for them to be everywhere with you I know from experience it is not all that much fun and I know taking Duchess everywhere requires a great deal of responsibility and concerns for her safety as well. I know most pet's are not able to handle the stress of handling places like a grocery store when they are only used to their home.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Procedure Was a Great Reminder

I went to a Dr. appointment yesterday to remove a mole that had grown over the past year and I wanted as a precaution to get the mole removed. I really do feel better now that it is gone. During the procedure they give two injections adrenaline and lidocaine which is the normal procedure. Duchess was laying below the table I was laying on. When the Dr. started to inject the Lidocaine she was crying the whole time and when the adrenaline was injected as well. I know she is not a fan of times when I have procedures because she really worries about my safety. She really likes my Dr. so that does help. She was really on edge the whole procedure letting out a crying sound and I find it better to let her express her emotions and concerns during these moments. I think she has a right to express how she is feeling and I will never try to quite her because I am her partner and her whole world revolves around our relationship. I know some may disagree with this but I do what is best for my overly sensitive service dog who loves me beyond belief. She handled the procedure well but I find it takes it toll on her emotionally. I know when we got in the car for the ride home she was out pretty quickly.

She is my little sponge and she picks up on so many things in her environment. The really interesting thing is that I was not nervous but she still was very concerned. I know she could not see up on the table but she some how knew when they were injecting or removing the mole. I am not sure how she knew but she was aware. I know after they finished the procedure the nurse came back in to bandage the up the stitches and the wound. Duchess was still not very happy. I know when the nurse finished I was going to get up and get dressed but Duchess jumped up on the table to sit next to me and cuddled up next to me. She was so very sweet. I think she thought I must have been in pain. I laid with her for a minute or two then got up and left for home. Duchess really amazes me at times with her perceptiveness and concern. I know she loves so incredibly much and wants nothing but the best for me. I am very blessed to have her in my life.

Monday, February 17, 2014

Had an Interesting Meet up.

I was out last week at the bus stop. There was a blind man waiting for a bus as well. He overheard a conversation with a woman about Duchess. He cam over and introduced himself and said I don't usually get to meet very many people who are blind. I told him that Duchess was my medical alert dog and told him about her job. I know he was surprised he had never heard of DAD before so we were discussing a little more about what Duchess does for me. We both are State workers so we were discussing issues at our jobs because recently issues and past issues. I know he had experienced issues as well but there was benefits he did not get at his current job that I do receive so there is benefits to either. I know we both agree that coverage is not always the best but not terrible. I know he said that we was happy he had a job but also had experienced similar issues with people he worked with. They all seem to think we get easier jobs and that things are too easy for us but I don't think they understand that we have issues that make a normal job much more difficult and the interesting thing is that most of our work issues are more from the people we work with and not necessarily the work we do which was interesting.

I know other person who has a guide dog in Austin and who is also diabetic. She is blind due to other issues not related to diabetes. So it was a very interesting experience. I know after all I have been through with the people I work with it is nice to know that my experience is fairly normal. I know if people left me alone more that my whole work experience would be much improved. The constant whining and crying about anything and everything we both do. I am tired of having to accommodate people who are not disabled because they have nothing better to do with their time. I know it was interesting how friendly he was and how much we shared. I know he loved the fact that the University paid for our bus pass but I also know that the University does not have enough spots for everyone to park at. I also know they were thinking of not paying for it because of an increase that just took place. The staff threw a fit because they make parking such an issue. So thankfully we did win at least at keeping are free bus passes.  I think every job has its issues but I know now at least my experience are normal.

Friday, February 14, 2014

Work Changes

I am glad I am looking for another job because of the recent time lines they have imposed I know they also will be reducing the overtime pay for the department as well. I depend on this money more than I would like to admit. I know that not having as much money coming in and everything going up it does not seem to be helping me at all. I know my previous job in a department with my current employer did not have overtime for the most part and also paid much more. This department instead pays you less and then offer overtime so they can make you work because they know they paid you so little on your base pay. I tend to make most of my money that 6-7 months of the year and also have the least amount of time to enjoy any of the money I have earned. I have learned so much from this work experience and I know that more than anything I want more time to work out, enjoy my weekend and have time to keep Duchess skills sharp. My current schedule does not always allow me time to do what I need to do.

I know looking for a job with a disability honestly has been a difficult situation every time I start the process. Explaining what I need and getting what I need when working for a department is very difficult. Getting people to understand that a person who looks very healthy is not and needs to go to Dr. appointments to keep me health is hard for them to understand. I know they will never understand what a day in my life is like or how difficult things can be and I try my best to explain. I know they will never understand why everyone's Diabetes is different and should not be compared. I know during my recent disabilities meeting the disability coordinator told me I was her most brittle Diabetic she had on campus. I told her that I was not surprised but I had been dealing with it for the past 33 years. After all the emergencies and other situations I have know for a long time that my Diabetes has never been easy and never will be. I know Hypoglycemia Unawareness has made things ten times more difficult but overall considering things I think I am doing pretty well most of the time.

I know as I continue to spend time looking for something better I am hoping I can get what I need this time. I feel like after all my hard work and willingness to get things done I could find something better. I know many of the departments on campus do not work nearly as much as I do. I want more time for me and Duchess to enjoy our life and hoping to find that soon.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Such A Little Sponge

I know recently things have been very stressful for me. I know the recent meetings and other issues that needed to be resolved have brought to my attention some things I have not quite realized previously. The longer I have Duchess the more she tends to pick up my moods and energy. I know during all the stressing before the meetings and after she was wiped out by the time we got home. Normally she is very vibrant active dog who loves to play. I even noticed in the meeting that she was picking up on my stress and seemed on edge at the time. She was watching my blood sugars move about which equaled a low at the end of the meeting. I know she tends to pick of others emotions like a little sponge. When people are upset she seems to absorb how people are feeling. I know in the past at times she would pick up others emotions at certain times but now Duchess seems to be doing more frequently. I know how stressful her job is already and I worry about here when she is picking up on my stress and emotions.

I want Duchess to be as healthy and happy as possible but there is really no need for her to be picking up my emotions or others. I worry about in the long term that will affect her because she is a very sensitive dog. She is extremely loving and I know she cares a tremendous amount about me and my safety. I am not sure what I can do it about it yet but I want her to really only worry about my blood sugars and let me deal with the rest. I know the more she tends to pick up on my feelings the more tired she seems. I am trying to keep myself in check which is not easy. I know the happier she is the easier it is for both of us. Hoping that I can get her back to her happy self.

Monday, February 10, 2014

Love Hate Relationship

I know over the past year and half since starting the Dexcom I have a real love hate relationship. I know so many people who have such wonderful results with the Dexcom but I have never had the same experience. Most of the time the alerts are off such as last night 5 alerts of low but I was between 90-100. I did eventually go low but not until 5:22 after my alarm went off. So the Dexcom went off all night and I really hate these morning when I did not get proper sleep and have so much to do.I know if the graphs were a bit closer to my blood sugars it would be even more helpful information for my Dr.  There has been times where it was over a 50 points off so I decided since using my arms for the past couple of months that maybe it was time to try my legs but sadly so far my legs seems to get me even more erratic results. For example I had two up arrows this morning but my blood sugar was 102 but it was not moving up but very slowly. I think I got to 110 then it was back to moving down. I always check my blood sugars because it is good practice but I am not fortunate enough to have the Dexcom be more accurate. I know I am not the only one who does not get these great numbers on the Dexcom most of the time. I am concerned about using the artificial pancreas when it comes out because of how off the numbers are for me with any of the CGM's. I know it is great that it can suspend or bolus etc for you but I have an issue with it making decision of a CGM when it is not accurate for me.

I know the artifical pancreas is getting closer but not there yet. I am hoping someday I may be able to use my stomach again and hopefully have better results. I know the sensor work so great for others but I am not sure why my body does not seem to get the same results. I know I don't do infusion sets in the areas I am currently using for the Dexcom so I thought I would have better results. I just wish I was able to get better results but the scary thing if the Dexcom think you are low but you are normal and then does not clue in that you are moving higher is not good. I love that the Dexcom lets me know where I am going and has graphs but honestly Duchess is ten times more reliable that it is. I will continue to use it but I am not really thrilled with the numbers not being more accurate.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Update on Meeting With Disability Coordinator and Boss

My meeting yesterday with my boss, supervisor and disability coordinator went fairly well for the most part. The best part for me is not that when I am gone they have to provide coverage because they want quick turnaround on my work. They did agree with the deadlines to relax to just a goal but the bad part is that it will be on my review. I do have concerns if I don't meet the goal but it better than a deadline so I will work with it. The disability coordinator will come back in two months to reevaluate if that will work or not. They also discussed all the various emails responses and the varying answers. They agreed to work on trying to be more clear and have more defined aspects of assignments when directed to me. I spend a great deal of time trying to figure what they want at times. I am not really allowed to ask questions in person only through emails which has an average response time of a week which will not allow me to meet my deadlines.

We also discussed them giving me a list of expectations and what they consider priority because it seems to be unclear to me. I know in general I don't get enough information most of the time to know if something is due now or later,. They agreed to reduce some of my workload because of the increased timelines of several items. I am hoping that will help to make my job a little less stressful. I know they will most likely add more to my plate as we go through some upcoming changes. They always love to add more on say they have reduced things. I am hoping this time they actually follow through with this request. I know my disability coordinator will be checking  back with me on the status of my workload. I know she thought that my job was too much for me to handle at time which is true. Last year I worked 7 months of overtime and that included working 6 days a week.

The bad part of the meeting for me was them complaining I was a perfectionist. I take after my mom who was a perfectionist as well. I know it is not an ideal thing but it is who I am. I know that is some jobs not really a bad thing, I do know that I do need to work on my ability to handle criticism more constructively and I have been working on it. I do find it interesting that my character come to play in a meeting in a manner that was not really appropriate. The disability coordinator did point out that I have achieved things other people in my position never did and to look at in that manner. The I am also started a required clean up of the whole University Inventories. I know I felt better that she defended me. I know I did not expect to feel attacked but I did. I am not a fan of it being about me being too serious or focused on my job. I never expected to hear that. I know I still feel really unappreciated after all has been said but at least our communication will hopefully be better.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Great News About my Eye's

I went to my Retina Specialist today for my 3 month follow up. My appointment went very well. My vision was 20/20 in both eyes which is wonderful. I am pleased that all my efforts have paid off in the long run. I found out that now because my eyes have continually improved I now will only get checked every 6 months  instead of every three months. I know when my troubles with my eyes started I was going at least twice a month.. Then I moved to once a month then recently to every three months. I know I am not going to miss having my eyes dilated so often and I am hoping that with my continued work I will have to go less often in the future as well.

I know the Dr. said today that this is the best he has seen my eyes during the whole time I have been his patient. So things seem to be stabilizing and in general less issues. I know there was no signs of bleeds in the past three months which is great because I have not had my eyes lasered or injections done. So this is really exciting news. I know so far I have not really experienced loss of vision except for at night. When you have your eyes lasered you tend to lose your night vision. Thankfully it is not terrible but I can have issues at night. So overall things are pretty good with my Diabetic Retinopathy. It seems like things will continue to be that way just as long as I continue to keep my blood sugars in my normal range.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Results of Meeting Yesterday

The meeting I had yesterday with my Disability Coordinator for the University. I know she asked a great deal of questions during our discussion of the events. I know she asked me randomly who covered me when I was on vacation? Actually no one covers me when I am gone on vacation or sick. All my work is my inbox when I get back waiting for me. I do not get any help with the 600-800 emails I can receive when I am gone so work tends to stack up and takes me weeks to get caught up. I normally check work emails when on vacation because it become difficult when I am that far behind. I know the disability coordinator said that is not a vacation. I agree but the University seems to work that way for some people. So I technically have not really had a vacation in two years. If you look at things in that manner.

I now know that is on our discussion during a meeting with my manager and supervisor on Thursday evening. I am not sure what to expect but I know we are going to discuss my stress level and the expectations. I know that if they are not discussed I will continually get mixed messages from my manger. One in person meeting my manager said there is a 24 hour turn around for a portion of my job and then in an email as well. Then when she emailed the disability coordinator she said he email said the deadline was flexible. I know the disability coordinator said most likely in general they are going to take a great deal of the extra work they give off my workload because they don't want me in a situation where seizures could occur or bad lows if possible. I know they can't do a great deal but the disability coordinator thinks relaxing the deadline as necessary would be a great compromise but I know my boss's answer will be not on that suggestion.

I know my boss said she reduced my workload already but in actuality she increased my work in another way. I still do a portion of my old job but since she has never done the job does not seem to get that I still am handling a great portion of the old job. So I am not truly having more free time but instead working on something else which is months behind when given to me. So I am not really sure how they are going to handle things but I am not going to move a hundred miles a minute so they can meet some made up deadline she did not really spend anytime thinking through. So I am hoping for some good changes to come from the meeting hopefully but most of the time nothing is accomplished. I know my work is trying to get rid of me but they are going to have to work harder than that.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Disability Office Meeting

I am meeting with my disability office today about my accommodations. I am not sure how this appointment is going to go today. I know I have had previously bad experiences with this department when dealing with my department. So I know I need to get my accommodations in writing but overall this process is such a pain. I know I will have review the events and go from there. I know my manager will have to meet up with me at the office of the disability office to see if they will agree to the accommodations and most of the time they don't once they are in writing most people are not willing to agree even though they were previously allowing these accommodations which I find funny. I know they have not option at this point to discuss Duchess she was approved for my accommodation before I started at the university.  So she is off the table for discussion in this meeting and all I need to worry about is what I currently have as an accommodation. I know they try to work with me currently but I have a feeling once it is in writing they will like my last department try to fight me on my needed accommodations which for me are not really optional. My last department would not allow me to go to Dr. appointments but only one a month even if I needed more.

I have to get my eyes checked by the Retina Specialist every three months and Endocrinologist appointment every three month as well. There is other appointments for annual exams and physicals which I do go for. I am worried about having to fight for my rights to go to appointments that I need to keep healthy. I know this time I am aware of options and my rights so I know how to fight these issues. I am just tired of all the fighting for something I think should not be an issue. I guess I will see but I know during a recent discussion my boss only wanted me to request a few accommodations but I will be laying it all out to make sure I get what I need otherwise I will end up in a bad spot. I am considering moving to another department within the university because of the issues with increasing pressure. My boss seems to think that the deadlines should be easy to handle and that she is not to blame. I am not convinced and think they are being unrealistic and this kind of 24 hour deadline for items coming in created undue pressure and issues for me. I know I always work very efficiently but I am not going to be able to handle this situation in the manner they need. I don't want this deadline to determine if I get a raise or not if I have one that was not finished in the 24hours. They rarely give raises so I want to get one anytime they have the opportunity to get one.

I know after the initial discussion with my boss I feel very resentful and have not interest in doing more for my department. If they asked for over time the answer would be no at this point. I feel like they are making things more difficult because they want things processed at an unrealistic speed.