Friday, August 29, 2014

Feelings About Bad Lows

I know I have been thinking a great deal of interesting change for me personally. I know normally I live with the fears of lows constantly worrying when and if they show up. Recently I feel very it is what it is. I am not sure why but I am not scared I am just doing as much as I can by exercising and other things to prevent bad lows I feel like I am doing my best so I am not as fearful. I do worry about myself not being scared to death of this happening. I know fear wakes me up and seems to spur me into action but not having that as much now concerns me. I know at times I do feel differently about bad lows or lows in general.

I know with me having less of them recently it seems to create for me this sense of I got this when mostly likely I don't have it covered. Trying to prevent bad lows is something with Hypoglycemia Unawareness is extremely difficult and not easy. So I am really surprised I honestly feel this way when I know my past experiences. I also know living on edge because of fear is not good either. I just want a healthy balance of both. I know my most recent incident that ended me up in the emergency room has really not caused me to feel this overwhelming fear and embarrassment but instead I feel like this is just part of my life.

Lows have run my life for so long that I feel like I should feel more than I do right now but I feel very accomplished because I have found new ways to help prevent lows. I know as I continue to work on my lows that their is always risks running my Alc lower but I also know that I want to have a high quality of life. Getting more complications is what I am trying my best to avoid. I will always be scared of the next bad situation but I am over feeling bad about things happening. I am tired of apologizing because of my Diabetes and tired of the embarrassment that it can cause when lows arise. I feel like I need to realize that my Diabetes will always makes things difficult but I should not have to apologize when I know I have done the best I can. I am trying to come to grips with that not all lows can be prevented. I know I need to prepare myself for my next visit with my family. They always blame me for it happening when not all things can be prevented.

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