Monday, August 18, 2014

Excited About The Changes Now and to Come

Everything around me has changed so drastically since June of this year. I almost can't believe how much. I know with the recent management changes I have been able to have more time off from work. It feel very odd to not work every weekend and not be panicked about year end. I also get to enjoy the nice summer days which is something I normally do not get to experience over the past three years. So I am overjoyed that I feel like I am getting my life back again. I know these changes have allowed me to be happier and more content with my life in general. It also made me realize that I have been so busy that I have been ignoring dreams and goals I have had. I am so happy I am working out regularly and getting to challenge myself further. I know I needed this but in the past I was so stressed I honestly was thankful to just get through the day. I know now I look forward to so much more and I am finding great joy in things I have not enjoyed in the past couple of years.

I know I have doubted myself in a great deal of ways in the past couple of years because of bad lows but recently even with my recent event for the first in a couple of years I feel like myself again. The happy, energetic and fun person I loved being. I know I had a friend comment recently that I was very dauntless she said I make these scary events look easy and I never show any fear. I know I do but most of the time she is right I rarely let people ever see my vulnerable sides, and my fears. I know she has seen a great deal of the bad but she thinks I can handle almost anything especially after my Retinopathy diagnosis and my ability to keep my 20/20 vision was the best outcome. I know I put an incredible amount of pressure on myself for perfection. I know that is not a very good thing but I know it also kept my vision what it is today. I know I work so hard and that in a great deal of ways I have accomplished more than I ever dreamed of.

I know I still think about my life before complications but I now realize that my life in still incredibly wonderful and fun. I was so busy trying to stay safe I did not look at the big picture that I could still do everything I used but now just in a different way. I am so happy that I am not going to let Diabetes stop me but I am instead going to challenge it instead. I work so hard I might as well enjoy what life is giving me. I know I have been so blessed to meet so many wonderful people who inspire me. I know Karen inspired me further on my journey back to running. Great job on your 5K Karen. I know I think any accomplishment with Diabetes is a win. I now know I need to change my outlook to reflect that. Looking forward to many more wonderful changes to come.

No comments:

Post a Comment