I have to admit that writing about diabetic complications has been the hardest thing for me to every write about on my blog. I know for me personally I have felt like a failure because diabetes is winning and I am viewed as a failure. I knew deep down that my own family views me differently after complications. No one wants to talk about my up coming eye surgery or any of my concerns or fears about things. I always expected that within the diabetic community there would be more support when it comes to people who are dealing with complications but I have found the opposite to be true. I have seen diabetics called failures by other diabetics, treated a lesser because they have failed not only themselves but their families as well. I know I have received nasty messages in my inbox from my blog from people who don't want me to blog about complications.
The whole reason I started my blog was because when I got hypoglycemia unawareness I could not find a blog dealing with it or much information that I found to be even close to accurate. So I knew several years after that when i was goggling that there was a need to discuss complications. I have never been so scared and alone as when I went through my diagnosis of both my complications. Honestly the only thing that kept my sanity during my Diabetic Retinopathy diagnosis was blogging about it. Having a complication feels like you are lugging around a thousands of bricks with no end in sight. I know that no diabetic wants to talk about complications and I understand that.
I also have learned so much from my experiences that I feel not sharing them would be a terrible thing because if I can help one person I have accomplished my mission. I know I am hopping that I can help one person to feel normal, or just understand what they are going through that is a wonderful things in my mind. I know there will always be people who will disagree with me on this issue. I will continue to blog about my life because I feel it is important. I know some people don't want to read about complications but the fact is that they have a way of sneaking up on you. I know my hemorrhage in my eye happened quickly.
I know through all the obstacles I have faced this has been incredibly difficult to be viewed so harshly by other diabetics. I really always thought of anyone one who would understand would be another diabetic. I have seen on forums, websites, twitter and other places diabetics treating those with complications in a very negative manner. I know I really wish I could freely speak with everyone about my complications but we are not there yet. I have to thank you to my readers because I feel that you don't judge me but understand.
I know I wish the DOC would talk more about complications and created more of a support network for those who are facing complications. I know when I was feeling so alone with my complications it would of been nice to have had more support. I am fortunate because I blog and I get support through all of you. I am still flattered that you take time out of your busy days to read my blog and I thank you for that. I think the Hope online conference this year was a step in the right direction but I also experienced the downside of it as well. I know when I was tweeting my thoughts during the sessions I got some very nasty direct messages which was a little shocking to me. Hoping some day that we all could be supportive of each other regardless of complications or not.