I Fell Over the Cliff

              I have been in total burn out mode for the past 4 weeks. I have been testing less and I honestly have not been doing my normal tracking of my blood sugars. I know my constant visits to the Endocrinologist office when they have been really difficult to deal with, continued pump site issues, constant winter basal change for me which is normal have all pushed me over the cliff. I know yesterday I went to see my CDE who is great we were discussing my crazy blood sugars over Christmas and recent basal changes. She told me not to be so hard on myself that I spend so much time going over all this stuff she is surprised I did not feel burned out earlier. My CDE is also a type 1 diabetic and she also told me she was happy I was changing over to my new Endocrinologist at the end of the month. She is hoping that will help to alleviate some of my stress. Some times if you have the wrong Dr. it can make life so much more difficult. We also looked at some alternatives things to try with the pump site issues. My CDE is recommending that I change to Apidra insulin because she also thinks that really could help. I know Humalog and Novolog are both so similar and I have a feeling because the Apidra is different that could very well be the answer.

               I am going to be make sure I am doing my two hour after meal tests and more frequent testing in general. I want to have information to give to the Endocrinologist when I go. I am hoping for no more of your a bad diabetic because you have too many low conversation or that I am not working hard enough. I am tires after 32 years of being told I am a bad diabetic even when I am really trying my best. I really wish physician would understand what happens when you tell your patients that. For me personally it sets me off into I don't care mode. I know I hate to feel like a failure and this past Endocrinologist made me feel that way. Here is too a new year of improvements to come and a new start.