Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Realizations About Lows

I have been thinking a great deal about my previous experience last Christmas with my family being mad at me afterwards. I think it is interesting that I ruined my friends birthday night and they did not even blink an eye at the fact I had a low on their birthday. I know my family really seems to not understand my Hypoglycemia Unawareness and I am not sure how to explain it to them. They seems to think every low can be avoided but I am really glad that I do  not share my struggles of lows with my family regularly because I have a feeling the would assume I was doing something wrong. There is always a tone of blame when dealing with my own family some lows are caused by overestimating my carbs or under estimating the affects of exercise. There is so many factors and I know the longer I have Diabetes honestly for me the harder it seems to get even with all my knowledge of my own condition increases as I try new things.

I know the less my family is around me the more they seem to forget how crazy things can be and they tend to blame me pretty harshly for any incident or bad low. I know I tend to try to keep my Diabetes under the radar these days because it keeps the judgements at bay. I know life is already crazy enough with just the Diabetes but adding on a service dog and my workplace equals way too much stress. So after last years Christmas I am deciding to avoid talking with my family about any surgeries, lows or other Diabetes related issues because they always seem to judge me or become angry about it. I do my best to handle my condition and I work at it constantly but I know they have no idea what it is really like to live with Diabetes. I know I put so much effort in and don't always get the results I want out but at least I am trying. I really wish they would understand but I know right now they seems to have forgotten about all the emergency room visits that filled up my childhood and hospital visits because of my Diabetes.

I think leaving the Diabetes out of things will bring me much less to deal with from my own family because I feel like my life has enough obstacles for now. I think eventually I will be in a place to share what is going in my condition but sadly right now is not the time. I know they have been quite strange about the fact that I could of had surgery for my Retinopathy but thankfully nothing had to be done right now. I am thankful that my friends are so supportive of whatever is happening but my family seems to be in such a different place when it comes to dealing with my lows.

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