I was talking with my best friend today on the phone and she was asking how things are going? I said things had been very busy at work with working overtime and trying to keep up with my exercise. She then asks me how things are going with Duchess? I responded that things are really going great. Then she asked a question I was not expecting. So are your blood sugars better enough recently to handle a day without Duchess. I know the answer to the question, but It is really hard to admit it to myself. Sadly no, I am very dependent on my life saving angel Duchess. She has kept me safe and honestly when I have been apart from her for even just a couple hours it has been really hard. She makes me feel safe. When my severe problems with lows started I remember being afraid to leave my house for fear I might get lost or something could happen to me. I was staying home unless one of my friends dragged me out of my house. I never felt safe or secure with where I was. I constantly would lose track of time at work because I would go low and not know it. My lows were taking over my life and everything was impacted because of my these terrible lows.
It's not terrible depending upon my dog to help me with my lows but It has taken a while for me to really accept that yes this is where I am at. My life has changed so drastically over the past four years it all seems to blur together. I am not sure why I have struggled with things on one hand but I have always been a very independent person. This really has made me accept that yes sometimes I do need help. I come from a long line of very stoic strong women in my family and I must have picked it up along the way. I know as I spend more and more time with Duchess she is always a great reminder to me as well of my strengths and my victories as well too. I know I can do this, but with the help of my best friend Duchess.
It's not terrible depending upon my dog to help me with my lows but It has taken a while for me to really accept that yes this is where I am at. My life has changed so drastically over the past four years it all seems to blur together. I am not sure why I have struggled with things on one hand but I have always been a very independent person. This really has made me accept that yes sometimes I do need help. I come from a long line of very stoic strong women in my family and I must have picked it up along the way. I know as I spend more and more time with Duchess she is always a great reminder to me as well of my strengths and my victories as well too. I know I can do this, but with the help of my best friend Duchess.
That sense of security is probably irreplaceable, and so it's totally normal I think to feel that. I've not ever had a great friend and D-Alert dog like Duchess, but can only equate it to how I feel without my CGM... like I'm naked and exposed, and - unsafe. Anyhow, it probably will come with time. Hope it gets better!
ReplyDeleteI was thinking the same thing. I think well all need time to process certain changes. Thanks Mike.
ReplyDelete