Friday, June 26, 2015


I know I hate the word control because it comes with connotations of responsibility and failure. I know when I hear the word control and Diabetes in the same sentence it makes me angry. I know I hear that word way too frequently from Emergency room Dr.'s about how I need to work harder to control my Diabetes. I then do my song and dance about the fact that how many things can affect one's blood sugar.  I know I manage is my preferred word of choice because I do the best I can with what I have. Even with all the technologies today I find myself in not so great places such as bad lows and previously seizures. I know no matter how much I work I cannot guarantee that I will do the right thing every time. It is so easy to over estimate carbohydrate or under estimate carbohydrates. It is also so easy for my setting to be great for a while and then one day I need to change several setting because I need more or less insulin.

I know when I talk with my family they seem to think I am not controlling my Diabetes well. The truth of the matter is that Hypoglycemia Unawareness has made me even more prone to lows in general. I know I exercise frequently to recover from bad lows without assistance when possible. I work really hard to make the proper adjustments. I know I have made very difficult decisions as a person with complications will have to make. I know at the end of the day I manage my Diabetes very well even though I do have the occasional low. I know ideally I would have none but I also am realistic that even when I was a kid I had quite a few bad lows.

I know I don't control my Diabetes I can only manage it. I know I am tired of people assuming that you can prevent them all when I know not all things can be prevented. I also hate that I have ever had to deal with bad lows at all but sadly I find that is part of being a Diabetic. I really wish the word control and Diabetes will never ever be used. I know it tends to be used by people who really have no real understanding of what it is like to live with Diabetes.

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