Monday, March 16, 2015

Reminder of My Past

I remember times in my life where my Diabetes had control of my life. I woke up each and everyday scared out of my mind and not sure what to do next. I was blessed at that time because I had quite a few friends on Tudiabetes. I know I worked with my Dr. at the time to get my basal rates on my pump adjusted but had not found where I needed to be. I know I searched day and night for anything on Hypoglycemia Unawareness which really gave me poor information so I started to read stories and all of them gave me the exact same information or information that did not work for me. I know I kept trying to avoid lows at all costs so that I may get some feeling back but it never seemed to work out. I know back then once I was diagnosed with Hypoglycemia Unawareness that it seemed like the lows were constant. I know that during that time EMS had visits to my office and home. I know I was getting to the point I did not know what I was going to do because nothing was working.

I know looking back I lived in a constant state of fear. I woke each day with dread because I felt like I had no control over my life and that my Diabetes for once in my life was winning. I know I spent less time enjoying my life and more time worrying about what might happen. I know I felt safer at home than I did anywhere else so it became my safety net and I know I was becoming more depressed by the day. I know thankfully during this very dark period of time for me I found others struggling with the same issues of not feeling lows but I also know that mine seemed more severe.

So I continued my search and thankfully found an article that changed my life. It was about Diabetic Alert dogs which lead me down the path I am on today. I know during this time that waiting for Duchess I had some hard times. I know some lows had major consequences such as I bit into my lip which split open and I had to go to the emergency room to have my lip stitched up. I thankfully do not have any visible lines from the scars because the Dr. did such a great job with the stitches. I think I had around 5 stitches to sew back up my lip.

I know that some people may read this and think that I had given up but I never truly gave up but had to do things I did not want to until i could find a way to be safe. I know I am lucky that my condition is where it is today and that I work so hard to keep things well controlled. I know some times complications can really make Diabetes so much more than just challenging. I know my friend I have in California was commenting about the anger she felt for situations like mine above. I know I have felt what she was describing and I hope my friend you some good things coming your way. Diabetes does not play fair and I know I have and a great deal of people with complications can relate to this issues and even those who don't. We all struggle but at times it can be a huge obstacle to over come. I know I was able to find my way and I know that my Dr.'s at the time did nothing to help so most of the time it feel like I was battling on my own. I know now I am not battling alone and I hope you all know we are here.

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