Friday, December 6, 2013

Great Reminders

I don't usually get too far off topic but I have been thinking a great deal about other things this week. I know last Saturday Paul Walker an actor passed away. I grew up watching him in movies. My older brother Doug and I used to watch fast and the furious and loved to watch it over and over again. I don't sadly get to hear from him these days. He is busy with his girlfriend and his own daughter Maddyn my niece and his girlfriends daughter. My brothers smile and personality is a lot like Brian the character he played and from the people I know who meet him in person in real life. My brother in so many ways is like Paul was an avid surfer and overall very active person.

My brother has this incredible presence when he walks in the room everyone notices and remembers him. He has a great smile and everyone just loves him. I know the past couple of years I just don't get to hear from him and it feels like I have lost him in many ways. That is really quite true since it has been several years since I was able to see him. I love to go to Hawaii but it is so expensive. My brother rarely ever comes back to the mainland so I almost feel like he is gone. Things really changed drastically after our mother passed away 5 1/2 years ago, I know the relationships between my brother, sister and I have changed so much. The family was so much closer. I know my mom was the reason we all came home. Home has changed so much from the definition of what I used to have of home. My definition is more my friends than my direct family. They are there when things fall apart and when they are smooth sailing.

My own family is very absent when things are not great and really seem to not be very present except for my grandmother. I am so very thankful that I have my blog as outlet for the good the bad and the ugly since our relationships have really changed drastically since my mothers death. I did not realize how much she was the glue for the family. I do miss seeing my brother and sister and especially the relationships we once had. Paul Walkers death really reminded me how much I miss that. I also especially this time of year miss my wonderful mother who gave me so much and I am always grateful. My mothers favorite time of the year was Christmas. I grew up having the most amazing Christmas's where the tree, house and activities all centered around Christmas. I know some things are great reminders to appreciate what you have and the time you do have. I will always wish for more time with my mother but am just thankful for the time I had with her. She was an incredible person who did so much for me and my Diabetes care

.   Paul Walker Memorial Video

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