My Basket on the FLoor

              I have had on occasions over the past 4 years to where I needed to access glucose or treatments for a low. I tend for some reason while sleeping if I am low I tend to end up on the floor and I never remember what happens so I have little explanation as to why I am on the floor. One time 4 years ago I was by myself that night and I awoke on the floor and could not reach my glucose tabs or skittles they were on my nightstand next to the bed. I did not have enough energy to pull myself back up on the bed for a while so I had to wait til I could, which is dangerous. I know it sounds funny but I have a basket by my bed on floor with skittle, glucose tabs, and test kit. I have found this to be of use if I do fall down off the bed. I have Duchess trained to get my test kit and tabs if I can't reach them and she had done so well doing that for me. I just feel so much safer having them on the floor because I can wait for my blood sugar to go up before I try to get back on my bed.

                It feel so strange to say that is what I do but it makes me feel safer and the basket is a place Duchess always knows where the items I need are so it works well for both of us. I have had some times where my Dexcom said I was 103 but I was actually 30. Most of the time it is close but there is times my blood sugars moves so quickly there is now way it would register the change. I am so glad Duchess is her to help me during times like those because honestly with limited brain function things can be very complicated. In fact my skittle are not in the bags but in a plastic baggy because I find it easier to open when I'm low. I also make sure all the wrappers and seals are removed in case I am low and would have trouble opening. The funny thing is that some people can open things easily others are like me. Another example of the gray of diabetes and how it affects us all differently.

My Steps to Recover from Being Burnt Out

            Since I have been feeling burnt out I need to get things back to a better place again. So I am taking it one day at a time or basically one test at a time. I did really well yesterday I did make every two hour after meal test again. I am in no way excited or really want to do anything at this point but I know I need to get back up on the horse regardless to how I feel. I have been feeling like a complete diabetic failure for months now and I feel better saying. Hopefully I can move on from this feeling. Below is a list of things I am going to try and see if they can help me get back on track. I know I need a plan and this is what I decided it would be this time. I know I can do well for a couple of days then go back to slacking. So I know I will need plenty of incentive usually to get me back on track. I know it takes around 21 days to make things a habit on average. So I know I will be spending quite a bit of time doing the steps below.

1. Changing Dr.'s to one that will be more supportive.

2. Reward such as doing something fun or a massage if I test two hours after meals, log entries for the week, download pump and CGM data and review for patterns.

3. Using a journal to work through my feelings so I can move on from the frustration and negativity I am currently feeling.

4. Making sure I have time every evening to get my supplies packed for the next day, double check if anything needs to be changed out or updated. That way I start each day off right not running around trying to get everything together before I leave for work.

5. Spend some downtime every night to just relax I know when I feel burned out I just need time.

              

I Fell Over the Cliff

              I have been in total burn out mode for the past 4 weeks. I have been testing less and I honestly have not been doing my normal tracking of my blood sugars. I know my constant visits to the Endocrinologist office when they have been really difficult to deal with, continued pump site issues, constant winter basal change for me which is normal have all pushed me over the cliff. I know yesterday I went to see my CDE who is great we were discussing my crazy blood sugars over Christmas and recent basal changes. She told me not to be so hard on myself that I spend so much time going over all this stuff she is surprised I did not feel burned out earlier. My CDE is also a type 1 diabetic and she also told me she was happy I was changing over to my new Endocrinologist at the end of the month. She is hoping that will help to alleviate some of my stress. Some times if you have the wrong Dr. it can make life so much more difficult. We also looked at some alternatives things to try with the pump site issues. My CDE is recommending that I change to Apidra insulin because she also thinks that really could help. I know Humalog and Novolog are both so similar and I have a feeling because the Apidra is different that could very well be the answer.

               I am going to be make sure I am doing my two hour after meal tests and more frequent testing in general. I want to have information to give to the Endocrinologist when I go. I am hoping for no more of your a bad diabetic because you have too many low conversation or that I am not working hard enough. I am tires after 32 years of being told I am a bad diabetic even when I am really trying my best. I really wish physician would understand what happens when you tell your patients that. For me personally it sets me off into I don't care mode. I know I hate to feel like a failure and this past Endocrinologist made me feel that way. Here is too a new year of improvements to come and a new start.

New Perspective

                 I have to say that I am very happy living in Texas with Duchess even with the occasional public access issues for several reasons. One of the biggest reasons was on my recent visit to Seattle/Tacoma area there was a great deal of people taking their dogs to grocery stores and malls. I was really made about the stores allowing this. It is really against most states health codes to have animals in grocery stores. Duchess is different because she is trained to handle all the sounds, noises and environment of a store. She is also bathed and groomed to a different standard than a pet would be. I was really astonished at this but what made very mad was an incident at a store.

                  There was a man and a little mixed breed dog at the store. The dog started off barking constantly at Duchess then proceeded to try and jump out to the cart. The owner grabbed the dog and luckily got the dog to stay in the cart. The dog was really frantic to get at Duchess and he as walking by continued to try and get out of the cart. I am not a fan of people taking the dogs to the store for health reasons alone and number one reason is Duchess's safety. I am very protective as anyone would be one your so bonded to your dog but also because she makes it possible to have freedom and the ability to work full time. I will never take for granted my rights but this is crazy how everyone needs to take their dogs with them to the grocery stores or restaurants. I find it to be a lot of work even with a trained animal but I can't imagine what it would be like with an untrained dog. Some of the reasons service dogs retire early are usually health issue or dog attacks. The dog attacks can cause fear for the service animals and some never return to work after a bad attack. I am learning that I really support stores being tough about who has a dog in the stores like in Texas because I found it too be too chaotic in Seattle with the dogs going everywhere.
               

Airlines

                     I have learned over my Christmas vacation which airline I will try to avoid in the future is United Airlines. I try to book a bulk head seat for my flight home and got one but then my flight ended up changing 5 more times. So the last flight I was placed on was a full flight and there were not many seats I could get. The bulkhead seats were taken. I asked the airline for a middle or window seat usually they have more room. Instead the airline put me in an aisle seat. I try to get my seat changed before I boarded the plane but sadly they decided that a lady who wanted to sit next to her husband was more important than Duchess having enough room. So I did my best to make Duchess comfortable but honestly it was hard for her to squeeze into the aisle of the seat. I was not the only service dog team flying that day and neither of us were able to get the bulkhead seating we normally get. Most airlines save the bulkhead for disabled passengers but when I boarded the plane I have a feeling those passengers were not disabled. I felt bad all the way home because Duchess could not move around at all. She was bumping the sides of the bars from the seat above. She was agitated most of the flight and was less than ideal for an almost 4 hour flight. I tried my best to get better seats. I was really hoping that United would be as accommodating as Delta and Southwest had been. My favorite airline to fly with Duchess is Southwest by far because they always give me preboarding and try to seat people not next to me if possible. They go the extra mile where United did nothing but put service dog teams in the smallest seats possible.

                       I posted earlier a complaint for poor treatment from United Airlines. I now have seen first hand why they being investigated for that incident. I wish I could say that I think they would change but I do not think so. Hopefully my next flight will be much better but I'm sure it will because it will be with one of the airlines that has earned by business by getting me more room to make a long flight easier.

Alerting

                        Today is my first day back in the office for the New year. I am hoping I can get back into my routine as quickly as possible but I guess we will see. Last year it took me a couple of days to get there. Duchess was completely back on track when I got back home which is great. She has been really good about alerting me pawing or licking my hand. I am not going to train her to use a bringsel because she seems to not like the lick or paw method as much now. I think she just needs some change. Normally Duchess and I find an agreeable method for the alerts. She lows to bump my hand but I really do not like that kind of alert or a whine. I hate whining in general so that would not work for me. I tend to ignore her when she whines and bumps my hand. I am not sure if the bringsel will work but worth a try. I will keep you updated on my progress of the training. I am open to making the process of her alerting easier. If the dog tires of an alert they could also stop alerting as well normally Duchess lets me know in her own way that she wants to change alerts.

Bringsel

                                       

                         The most interesting thing about diabetic alert dogs like Duchess is how they let you know when they are ready for a different alert. I know she is very smart and still continues to amaze me with ability to communicate the need to change in her own way. I am not a fan of using a bringsel but it will work better for her I will try it out. I am just affraid that I will miss a low if she is just standing there with a bringsel. The good part is that she can use her old alerts as a back up method of alerting. I am hoping this will also keep her interest in alerting these dogs are so smart sometimes doing the same task can become boring so always good to be trying new things.

My Family Drives Me Crazy

                 My trip home recently had some down falls. It was difficult dealing my family's unrealistic expectations of Duchess. An alert dog is not perfect and can miss a low here and there. The funny thing Duchess was doing during the trip is that she was constantly trying to tell others that I was low instead of me. It lead to a bad low the day I was leaving. I know she tried to tell my dad but he thought she wanted attention. I tried to tell them if she is licking them to let me know so I can check. Sure enough they did not listen. I know my dad told me that she is a worthless dog and should not be a service dog. After my low my sister and dad both were like she did not alert you when you were low. Even though they had seen her alert before they blamed her. I know after the low she went to lick my dads hand and he learned to finally tell me. I tested and sure enough I was 120 and moving down. He then proceeded to tell me that it was just a lucky guess and that she is not really able to tell when I was low. I discussed with my father that she can at time like to alert to others when my blood sugars are off. She tends to alert to others especially  at work which is fine with me because they actually have been educated on the signs of her alerts. I am working on a different plan of action for next time im at home. I want her to alert to me first not my family. I was hoping for a smoother trip back home but that did not happen.

                         I trust Duchess but I wish my family gave her a little more credit. They seem to believe that the dogs will never miss a low or high. They are also under the impression that the dogs can never do anything wrong. I wish I could get them to understand that Duchess does quite well and that she has kept me alive but they expect so many things that are just not reasonable. I am not going to even try to explain to them because honestly they never listen to me.

New Year

         I made back home yesterday and now I am trying to get used to the time difference. I hope everyone has a great New Year's day. I am not doing a resolution this year because I felt like I have already accomplished so much in 2012 that making one now would seem silly if I am already on a roll but I do have idea's of what I want to accomplish. I had a really relaxed New Year's Eve and a great start so far for 2013. I am hoping to find a solution for my infusion set issues which crept up during my vacation. I am back to making it just shy of a day for an infusion set. I do have a Dr. appointment tomorrow so hopefully I will be able to try apidra insulin instead of novolog. Hoping that is it. The weirdest issue I had with my infusion sets is that the IV 3000 would not stick to my skin when using the benadryl spray. I was thankfully able to use just the IV 3000 without the spray for the most part but did have some skin reaction when not using the benadryl spray but I simply used hydrocortisone cream to get rid of any reactions. The IV 3000 still did not last as long as it normally would for my Dexcom which created issues. The funny thing is that when I am in Texas I have no issues but I guess the weather differences do affect the sites. A new thing learned from this trip.