To Have Kids or Not Have Kids.

         There is so many hopes and dreams I have and I think I am putting one of my biggest dreams up on a shelf because I don't think it's a great option for me personally. I have always dreamed of being a mom and always thought I would be. I have been putting a great deal of thought in what getting pregnant would do to my body and what genetic factors I would be passing on. My family has not one but several different endocrine issues that run in my family. My mother had a condition called polyendocrine which is basically a condition in which more than one endocrine gland fails to function. It is a very rare condition which is a good thing. My mother had type 1, Rheumatoid Arthritis and hypothyroidism . I currently have type 1, Rheumatoid arthritis, and Celiac disease  but I would need a thyroid or Addison's disease to fall under polyendocrine. There is also an inherited cholesterol disorder and many other issues. There is the other side that my brother and sister really have no know health issues which my child could end up being healthy like my niece and nephew are.

                                          
           I take the idea of having a child very seriously and have some troubles justifying passing on the possibility of numerous endocrine issues to any child. There is not guarantee I would either. I have a very complicated life with needing my service dog Duchess to help me avoid dangerous drops that almost cost my my life quite a few times. I am not sure how I would handle sever lows where I have trouble taking care of myself let alone taking care of a baby on top of that. I think I would be a great mother and would enjoy that journey but maybe it's not really meant for me.I know I had been discussing my possible decision with my friends and all I got was a very negative response. I was really surprised by their responses honestly. I thought they would be very supportive but instead I got the your selfish response. I am not a very selfish person but to be called that because I am looking at the bigger picture in my mind is wrong. I do the best with what I have and at the end of the day feel I am doing what is best for me. My best friend since I was twelve did not handle my decision well which was hard for me. I'm sure she thought some day that our kids would play together and everything would be great but life does not always work out that way.

            I am not happy about my decision but I need to be realistic and face the reality that my health is very precarious and needs to be considered. That really puts me with no other choice than to not have children I just wish I was not judged so harshly for making a decision that is protecting my own health. Some might consider that selfish but I really consider that being smart.