Not Letting It Stop Me

 I know my goal for myself personally has always been to do things I want to do and not let Diabetes stop me. I know that stopped for a while after I got Hypoglycemia Unawareness. I remember the fear I had even to leave my own home and go shopping etc. I have come so far since I got Duchess, CGM and insulin pump. I also know I would not be where I am today without pushing myself to keep going when things were difficult. Even after my diagnosis I never gave up but I knew I needed to find a way to not live in fear.

I know Duchess has been my lifeline for the past several years. I know I would not have made it as far as I have without her. She gave me the peace of mind I needed to continue to take on challenges. Even though I still have lows occasionally while work out I know that will happen. So I know with my recent skydiving I knew I would be okay even if Duchess was at home. I did have to test really frequently and my friend watched me carefully but I still was able to accomplish my goal of being able to sky dive.

I have a great deal of adventures I want to go on and I know I can do them but with some adjustments. I know life has thrown a great deal of challenges at me and I am finding that most of them I just have to figure a way around them. I know sky diving has given me a real feeling of appreciation for what tools I have and also my friendship with Duchess.

I know when I had to leave her at home it was difficult because she is a huge part of my life. It was strange not to have her with me but I appreciated the friendship I have with her. I did really miss her that day even with all the excitement because she has been with me through some really great and very scary times. I depend upon her more than I realize at times. Sky diving has given me back some of my zest for life I was feeling like things were in a rut so getting out and experiencing something new was just what I needed. I already bought my next tandem jump. I am hoping to jump in the next two months if the weather permits.

My Skydiving Experience

I have an item to check off my bucket list as of yesterday. I finally was able to go Skydiving. I am struggling to put into words my experience. The interesting thing for me is how excited I was to jump out of a plane. I was honestly never nervous during the Sky Dive in fact the only issue I had is the wind was pretty rough I had trouble trying to step out onto the step so I could jump. I was finally able to get my foot in place and then leaned my head back into the Jarrod the Tandem person I was jumping with. Then we were jumping. I thought I would be nervous during the flight up but I was completely chill and could not stop smiling. I know you should be nervous but I really just felt so alive. Adrenaline does some weird stuff to people but I have been hooked by it in the past and this time was no different. I know it was even more fun because the instructor was hot and had a really nice accent too. I jumped with Lone Star Parachute in Luling Texas.

I know I did a great deal of preparation in advance to as what I was going to eat and that I was bringing food with me to snack on. My experience went from 12:30-6:45 when my jump was done. So plan on being their a while if the jump location is smaller. I dressed for the weather I had short sleeves next time I would wear shorts but most likely capri's. I also know that I was trying to protect my gear I had forgotten my spi belt for the jump at home so my girlfriend rigged my pump to my belt and I wore a jump suit to make sure I did not lose it or my Dexcom transmitter either.

 So I did tape it down really well before I jumped as well. Yesterday was really windy as the day went on so when you jump is was so much force it was almost disorienting because I was trying to take everything in. Sadly my Dexcom suffered a tragedy it died right after landing. So I am not sure If I can jump with my Dexcom on or not. I have a feeling that the force from the jump is too much but worth a shot. The interesting thing is it did work for about and hour then said sensor failed. So I learned some things about jumping. I also had to reprime my pump after the jump. I am not sure why but Animas is know for having that issue.

I did overall wonderful I ate a snack 50 minutes before my skydive and then I had fruit slice right when I boarded the plane to make sure I  did not go low. I know my Dexcom showed I was 119 so I thought better to be safe. I ended up post jump around 163 and stayed there from the adrenalin rush for an hour or two. I know next time I will do a temp basal right once I land for several hours to get my blood sugars back to normal. A temp basal works for me and I found that Hypoglycemia Unwareness did not stop and most likely won't I just need to prepare carefully before

I am getting ready today to book my next sky diving experience soon. I will be able to pull the cord for the parachute next time which sounds interesting. I also know that I have not felt this alive in quite some time. So I do plan on doing more fun adventures such as zip-lining next. After that I guess we will see. That is the great part of bucket lists is that you can continually add things on. I know I am addicted after one jump and I know that I will probably jump again. Who knows maybe I will get my AFF which would allow me to jump solo. I know I am still feeling a high after all the excitement this morning telling my coworkers about my adventures. I do know my blood sugars are running higher today but it is still worth it. I will never forget my adventure of yesterday.

My best friend Jenn and me. Best friends since we were 12 years old.

Ted Talk about Diabetes

I know this Ted Talk was done back in 2013 but I think it is a very powerful message in a great deal of ways. I know every time I walk into a room a Dr. makes a great deal of assumptions such as she does not test or manage her Diabetes imagine their shock when they see my low A1c. I know most assume she has complications and she is an uncompliant patient. I know I have learned the hard way from my Retina Specialist they make assumptions that all people with Diabetic Retinopathy all have high cholesterol and high blood pressure. I have never had high blood pressure or high cholesterol. So I find these days I get treated with a great deal of disrespect and contempt from most staff. I have to say though except for my Endocrinologist's office they do a really great job of supporting me as the patient.

So I find it frustrating that we are all put into this blame bubble as Diabetics regardless of what type. I know I have been approached in the ER by Dr.'s who walk in and automatically treat me with contempt and blame. They approach me not as a person who needs compassion but instead with almost a look of another person here because they have given up. I know I have received some of the worst criticism from medical staff during some of the toughest days as a Diabetic. I think it can be so sad that we get treated this way but I know it has gotten better in some ways. I know that I have seen a great deal of people who see so much abuse of our health care system it leaves them jaded but the bad part is that they assume all of us are the same. Which is not fair or right. I know Dr.'s are human too and make mistakes as you will see in the Ted Talk below. I know the Dr. does get chocked up at his mistakes of not treating the Diabetic patient with the same care as his other patients. I know in these situations I don't let the Dr.'s get away with things and I will confront them with how they are treating me as the patient.



http://www.ted.com/talks/peter_attia_what_if_we_re_wrong_about_diabetes

Why Too Much of A Good Thing Can Be Bad

I had a discussion with a friend who also is a Type 1 Diabetic. I know they do have a history of depression like me as well. I know we are both adrenaline junkies and both love to test our selves in that manner. I love to push myself to overcome fears because I have found I grow a great deal when I do push myself. My friend has decided to take their adrenaline rushes to another level now. They are training to be able to sky dive unaccompanied and they just finished. I support that but now they want to base jump and other far more dangerous activities.

The part I struggle with as their friend is that they say taking these extreme risks makes them feel better about life in general. They don't want to die from anything related to Diabetes but instead an accident from base jumping etc. They feel that is more respectful way of dying verses it being related to Diabetes. I understand they will always be judged if we do die from Diabetes related complications. Our society regardless of type will always view us as failures because they don't understand. I know I go into each appointment waiting for the judgements to show up and affect me as the patient. I know me and my friend both have complications so in some ways I get how much the stigma does hurt and that we both will be judged by others when the time comes. Sadly most people will not understand that yes we tried but we all will not be as successful as others.

I have meet several people who did not take care of themselves and did not test for ten years but had no complications. Then other people who did what they were supposed to but end up with complications. I am very aware there is not guarantees in life. So I know just doing my best is all I can do. I do support my friends having an adventurous life but I think my friend is using it as an excuse to not manage their condition. I know life would be easier without Diabetes but my friend tends to view the condition as an obstacle instead of viewing it as road bumps like I do.

I am not sure why they view the world they do but I have a feeling that they were depressed they found some relief in getting an adrenaline rush and decided that is the way to live life. I am not sure what to tell my friend but I guess we will agree to disagree for now. I still think they are taking the things to the extreme. My friend tells me constantly they do not see themselves as being able to grow old. They tell me growing old is not for them. I think age they are now seeing changes in their body and tell me constantly I will be aging much quicker than my friends but the truth is that my family ages quite well.  So I find it to be silly to be so concerned about little things such as that. I do spend a great deal of time managing my condition but they seem to be only managing their condition to keep up the ability to get adrenaline rush. I do not know what to say to my friend but it does make me worry.

Turning Off the Bad Messages

I need to do more work. I know I sadly ended up getting sick over my 3 day weekend. I know I tested Friday afternoon and it read's 265. I then start on my normal thought pattern of what did you do wrong, how come we are so high why does my Dexcom only show it being 130. Why didn't Duchess alert sooner. I feel this anger at my self instantly and the old bad thinking pattern sets. If you were a good person you would not be high. If I was doing what I should have been doing I would have noticed. I got through this horrible thought pattern and I even picture my mean Endocrinologist who constantly told me I was bad and I should be doing better. I know our teenage years are rough and that thing such as hormones do play a role but I know I always took the brunt of the negativity because I felt I was to blame. I know I would cry at time because I was high and I tried my best. I know other times I actually threw my meter at the wall in shear frustration.

Even today I still look upon myself so badly because I feel like high blood sugars equals me not doing enough or not working hard enough but the truth is Diabetes is not controlled but managed and I can only do what I can do. We all have times where we under estimate our Carbohydrate counts or we over bolus for our food. We at the end of the day our human. Not once as a child was I ever told that high blood sugars happen. I remember when I was high I was scared to tell my parents because the would be mad at me when in actuality my mom would have done a correction dose and everything would be fine.

 I grew up with some Dr. treating me like I was not a person with feelings and a person with a chronic illness. I am working on my resetting my message that appear in my head each time I wait for the results of my meter. I know I dread each test and I test frequently so I need to be more realistic that yes I will get over 200 when I am sick. I also need to realize that I am no longer seeing that Endocrinologist and I am a good person who deserves to be understood and respected. I know as a patient with Complications I will always be judged but inappropriate comments are not okay. I know I will continue to work to make Dr.'s understand that I do the best I can and that life happens. I know when they see my A1c most of the time they are shocked because they expected me to be out of control but the opposite is true.

I plan on resetting my message about highs and lows so I can be happier with myself and my life. I live a very complicated life with complications why make things more difficult for myself. My message now will be no matter the number I can fix it if necessary. At the end of the day I need to realize that I am human and feeling human is only natural and I not defined by the numbers on my test kit.

Adrenaline Rush

I know I am really looking forward to this weekend just as long as the weather cooperates I will be sky diving finally. I know I have looked forward to this since the day I paid for my sky dive. I am an adrenaline junkie and love to push my boundaries. It is strange how I feel the need to control everything but I am an adrenaline junkie too. After this adventure I will be looking for my next adventure off my bucket list which I have not decided what I will do yet. I will be leaving Duchess at home on Saturday because I can't take her with me sky diving but thank fully my best friend will be going with me. She thankfully notices when I am low when I have no idea which is helpful since Duchess won't be with me during my adventure. I spend so much time with her I know I will struggle with her not being with me for this but it is also good to have some down time for her and for me as well. I will have my CGM with me during it all so I should be fine. The bad part is that Duchess has been consistently alerting really early which gives me time to treat. I do plan to run my blood sugar higher because excitement and anticipation makes my blood sugars drop.

I do not want low blood sugars during the sky diving experience and I do plan on eating pretty close to when I do jump. I know you can make yourself sick by not eating before you do jump. I think I will handle the experience just fine but I know I will worry about the lows. I know my plan of dealing with it will work just fine. I know since Duchess has been with me all the time it will feel strange to not have her here with me. I know my life the past seven years has felt incredibly scary at times and I think because my life has always had this edge of scariness to it taking on adrenaline rushes seems so easy because at least I get to decide when. I know I have always wanted to do some crazy things with my older brother. We both enjoyed doing certain things as kids and that led me to some crazy adventures as an adult. Sky diving will just be another. I have a feeling that I will want to jump again but I will always to try more things as well. I am hoping my blood sugars will cooperate and that I can enjoy my new adventure.

I Have to Admit

A friend of mine Kelly Kunik wrote a blog recently about insurance coverage. I know I decent coverage but I do have a decent amount out of pocket last year I spent $1483.59 in 2014 on supplies. That amount does not even cover my dental expenses or my Dr. appointments either. That also does not include my dressings, tape, glucose tablets, and skin prep supplies. I have a confession to make I was extremely off financially in 2011 when I took my current job. So affording my supplies was extremely difficult. I learned that I could reuse my infusion sets with the contact detach because I can move the sight around every day or so and the sight would tend to be able to be moved. I know I have had times where I was going through sights several a day when I had the Humalog and skin issues. I still have skin issues that just popped up again so I am going through them much faster now. Even with some recent raises some deductibles went up so I am constantly struggling to keep up with my rising costs.

I feel ashamed that I have to reuse the supplies at times. I do sterilize the needles before I move them and I do try to make it as safe as possible but I really wish my insurance company realized that I don't have a great deal of money to constantly buy all my supplies. To keep up with my need to test constantly and to pay more for the insulin I can actually use. I have issues with Humalog the only insulin that my insurance wants to pay for. I ooze blood out my infusion sets when I use Huamlog so my normal cost of insulin is 40 more every 3 months. I know I can order more boxes of pump supplies but sadly my cost also goes up with how many boxes I order. So I find myself in a spot where I continue at times to reuse my pump supplies because most of my bill continue to rise in cost.

                                       

I know days when I do have to reuse my supplies to make it till when I can order it again is frustrating and difficult. I know my insurance company assumes the cost they charge is not that much but on my salary it is actually quite a bit. I have a great deal of Dr. appointments such as 4 times a year for Endocrinologist, 2 times for Retina Specialist, 2 times for my Rheumatologist,  and 3 dentist appointments. I also pay parking at work for these days at 5 dollars a day. So all of this adds up quickly. My insurance also tends to change the coverage every year now they don't cover EMS when  you are not transported to the hospital which is a $150.00 fee plus 20 percent of the cost of the ambulance ride.  So it sadly will now cost in the hundreds of dollar range for a bad low. Each year they cover less and less. So I struggle with how to reduce my lows but also how to have what I need to avoid these lows. Thankfully my CGM sensors keep dropping in price the more they realize the benefits of having one.

I know as I look at how to manage my Diabetes I feel trapped in a constant funnel of money running out of my pocket every month. I know at one point my insurance used to be so much better and I was not spending nearly as much but each year it cost me more. Sadly my wages do not go up each year regardless of how hard I work so it can feel really defeating at times. So I do the best with what I have. Keep in mind I am thankful for what I do have and I know I am truly blessed for that I am able to have an insulin pump, CGM and Diabetic Alert dog.

http://diabetesaliciousness.blogspot.com/ 

Do I Really Need a Diabetic Alert Dog

I know for me a big button issues is concerning Diabetic alert dogs? Do I really need one is a big question. I have seen over the past three years a large amount of people getting incredibly expensive pets who were meant to be Diabetic alert dogs. When you are first diagnosed the chances of needing one within in the first couple of months of diagnosis are slim. Most people can feel lows and I know some bloggers who have dogs who don't have Hypoglycemia Unawareness which is not good. A person has no need for a Diabetic alert dog unless they have Hypoglycemia Unawareness. A big reason I can hold a job is because I have Duchess I don't really feel anything when low and I am constantly battling bad lows or seizures over the years. I know my Hypoglycemia Unawareness I know really started to impact my life when I was a teenager my junior and senior year of high school I had passed out several times. I know my Dr's at the time new it was serious but they never really told me I had hypoglycemia Unawareness. They wanted me to go on the pump which I did but I did not like it back then.


I know a great deal of teenagers with Hypoglycemia Unawareness who need alert dogs but there is a great deal of people perusing a Diabetic alert dog with the philosophy that there is currently enough dogs for everyone. Which is not true and I know the more demand the more the prices goes up as well. I fully support people getting a Diabetic alert dog once you have tried pumps, CGMS and other options first. A Diabetic alert dog should not be your first choice but your last option. I tried every option available to me before I realized that I needed to try some thing else. I knew that if things continued that I would not be able to hold a job without issues. I currently have issues from my workplace because of people not wanting a service dog at work but at least I am able to continue to earn a living and live my life the way I want too as a productive member of society.

I know it seems like so much fun taking your dog everywhere but it has major downsides. I just had two or three incidents of public access issues this weekend. There will always be struggles with access because of lack of knowledge of the laws. There will always be issues with dealing with people at times as well. I feel like I live in an obstacle course in a great deal of ways. There is always issues and I think that you really need to really take all the money, time, gear for service dogs and other expenses into consideration as well. It should never be a spur of the moment decision but should be some thing that is fully researched and considered before you get a Diabetic alert dog. They change your life but realize you will change your life as well. So it is never an easy transition either.


I feel blessed to have her but I think the Diabetic alert dogs are best left for the people who can't feel lows and who live life on the edge like I do. I know my life is safer now because of Duchess and I also know that she is a great help for me. I know that if I can feel lows that I really don't need a Diabetic alert dog and should look at a CGM to help assist me with lows. I know nothing worked for me but having Duchess and I take the rights seriously. So please take the time to review if you really need one before trying to purchase one because you could be saving yourself thousands of dollars and time.

Reminder of My Past

I remember times in my life where my Diabetes had control of my life. I woke up each and everyday scared out of my mind and not sure what to do next. I was blessed at that time because I had quite a few friends on Tudiabetes. I know I worked with my Dr. at the time to get my basal rates on my pump adjusted but had not found where I needed to be. I know I searched day and night for anything on Hypoglycemia Unawareness which really gave me poor information so I started to read stories and all of them gave me the exact same information or information that did not work for me. I know I kept trying to avoid lows at all costs so that I may get some feeling back but it never seemed to work out. I know back then once I was diagnosed with Hypoglycemia Unawareness that it seemed like the lows were constant. I know that during that time EMS had visits to my office and home. I know I was getting to the point I did not know what I was going to do because nothing was working.

I know looking back I lived in a constant state of fear. I woke each day with dread because I felt like I had no control over my life and that my Diabetes for once in my life was winning. I know I spent less time enjoying my life and more time worrying about what might happen. I know I felt safer at home than I did anywhere else so it became my safety net and I know I was becoming more depressed by the day. I know thankfully during this very dark period of time for me I found others struggling with the same issues of not feeling lows but I also know that mine seemed more severe.

So I continued my search and thankfully found an article that changed my life. It was about Diabetic Alert dogs which lead me down the path I am on today. I know during this time that waiting for Duchess I had some hard times. I know some lows had major consequences such as I bit into my lip which split open and I had to go to the emergency room to have my lip stitched up. I thankfully do not have any visible lines from the scars because the Dr. did such a great job with the stitches. I think I had around 5 stitches to sew back up my lip.

I know that some people may read this and think that I had given up but I never truly gave up but had to do things I did not want to until i could find a way to be safe. I know I am lucky that my condition is where it is today and that I work so hard to keep things well controlled. I know some times complications can really make Diabetes so much more than just challenging. I know my friend I have in California was commenting about the anger she felt for situations like mine above. I know I have felt what she was describing and I hope my friend you some good things coming your way. Diabetes does not play fair and I know I have and a great deal of people with complications can relate to this issues and even those who don't. We all struggle but at times it can be a huge obstacle to over come. I know I was able to find my way and I know that my Dr.'s at the time did nothing to help so most of the time it feel like I was battling on my own. I know now I am not battling alone and I hope you all know we are here.

A Call For Help

I was at a movie night recently with friends and some new people I had not meet previously. I was asked by a mother of a Type 1 Diabetic what she could do for her 23 year old daughter who had been in the hospital emergency room 5 times so far this year. Each year her control is getting worse. I know I recommended that she try to connect with other through our community. I offered to speak with her but I have a feeling that she really needs to speak with someone who is a great athlete or musician or someone who is well known and achieved great things. I have a feeling that those individuals could make a difference in speaking with her verses me as a person with complications who to that individual would probably say to themselves that will never be me or the chances are slim that could happen.

I have achieved so much the past couple of years but I do not find myself to be that inspirational or inspiring as some others I have met in the Diabetic community. So I know as an advocate I am not sure I am really going to be much help to this young woman but I am going to do my best to help if she does contact me. I know I have a great deal of knowledge to share if she is willing to listen but being where she currently is I questions how much I will be able to help. I know as an advocate I always try my best but at times like this I feel overwhelmed that I won't be helpful for that person. I know that it can be tough for us all regardless if we are trying or not trying. I think anyone can get them to places where things are out of control and it just becomes easier to ignore it. I know we all will face challenges as Diabetics but I know this request feels a little daunting.

When the Excitment Wanes

I know recently with my being so overly focused on lows I tend to over look things at times. I have noticed recently that Duchess has lost some of her enthusiasm for working to an extent. So I am now working on making sure that I make her rewards for lows and making sure I am enthusiastic response to her alerts as well. Duchess is much the same as me in that after a while we all can lose our drive at times and Diabetic alert dogs do as well. I know during these time I need to make things more challenging or try to amp up my responsiveness to her alerts. I know when I do amp things up in the past we were able to get her back to her extremely enthusiastic alert dog that she is.

I know at times I do the wrong thing and do not respond as quickly as I should or I am grumpy because I am low and mad I have to deal with it. I know all these actions can affect Duchess so I am always trying to keep myself in line to keep Duchess alerting. I know the longer I have had her the more I have learned about forgiving myself for making these mistakes and trying to come up with feasible solutions to these issues.

I know that the longer we are together we can also both develop bad habits. I know I always try to test right away and to make sure she knows that yes her alerts are important and are being addressed. The fastest way to get a dog who does not alert is ignoring them because they will only try for so long before they will give up. So thankfully I have never had her stop alerting because of not responding which is great. I know each day I am with her Duchess seems to point out things to me I would have missed previously. Hoping things will get back to the normal soon.

Speed Bumps

I know normally I would be having a more smooth day but I just finished a two hour period of low that would not come above 58 for two hours and I did do some work but I am really now behind two hours at work. I knew that the time change would have some affects on my blood sugar but I had not idea it would be so difficult today. The interesting part is that I slept more last night than the night before yet yesterday my blood sugars overall were not too bad. So sadly today I did the best I can so far I have eaten a breakfast burrito, 2 kind gluten free bars, Vans granola bar and 5 fruit Slices all this morning and that is a great deal of carbohydrates but it finally brought my blood sugar back up to normal.

I know yesterday I was doing great got home and was getting ready for the gym. I ate real quick and looked down at my Dexcom it went from 110 to 96. So in desperation to be able to work out I ate 3 cookies and more shot bloks to get my blood sugar up to work out. I thankfully did get it up to 120 and worked out. I did get down to 75 but for me it could have been much lower. So I am hoping for the crazy lows to calm down soon but I have a feeling this actually might be relating back to my other issue that I had a procedure done for earlier this year. I am not going to complain because the procedure has really given me much better blood sugars in my life again except for these days I call speed bumps. I know my life with Hypoglycemia Unawareness will never not have speed bumps but thankfully I don't have them as much as I used to.

Who is Really In Control

I had a recent meet up with another Diabetic Alert dog that had just finished training. I did notice some things such as the dog was in control and not the handler. The dog was pulling the owner around the room. The dog saw Duchess and instantly wanted to play. I know Duchess at times will find it tempting to want to play but these days she knows she needs to be focused on me. This dog focus on tasks was not very good compared to Duchess at the same age she was incredibly focused. I did allow Duchess to say hi for a few minutes. The dog was very pushy and was wanting to full out play which is not ideal being that I was at a conference. The dog was friendly over all and I know the dog climbed on top of her but Duchess remained calm and I got the dog off of her. She really impressed me with her patience and her handling of the situation. She really looked like an old pro at dealing with these situations and I could not have been more proud.

I was really surprised with how much the dog was controlling the situations and how bad it makes all the service dog handlers when one is out of control. I know the woman was asking me how I was able to get Duchess to be so calm and very patient. I said it was a great deal of practice. I know Duchess does have her moments where she does not do what I want her to do. I take these opportunities to guide her to what I need from her and what is expected. She takes these cues and uses them in situations like on Saturday at the Conference. Duchess in my opinion handled the situation better than I expected. I know the longer we are together the better we have become as a team. I know I do have some areas right now I am working on but I know overall Duchess is doing well.

I know the service dog handler was new and probably still learning but sadly if they don't get control soon the dog could stop alerting. I know dogs work for the handlers but the handler also needs to have control over the dog for it to work. I know I was blessed that Duchess has been easy to get back in line if things do happen and I also know that she is human as well. I know service dogs have bad days but I have a feeling that dog was sadly the one in control. I also did not seem any alerts from the dog either so I wonder.

Time Change and Blood Sugars

I know I wanted to remind everyone the clocks spring forward an hour on Sunday. So is not time to change the clocks forward again on all our medical devices. I know during this time of year some of us are going to be having more lows if we are not getting the amount of sleep we are used to. I know I had a great deal of issues when the clocks went back this past November with lows even with the extra sleep. I know going to work when its dark and coming home in the dark does seem to affect us as well. I am hoping that I am able to adjust quickly to the time change because last time I delt with an increase of lows from the time change. I know during time changes the lows in particular increase during the night for me personally.

So I have planned basal rates changes for during the time change and hopefully I will be back to my regular basal rates soon after the change. I am hoping trying to be a little more prepared will help me this time but sadly with my recent unexpected increase in lows it might not help. So I am planning to try and keep my weekend as stress free as possible so that when I do start next week that I am ready for the time change but you can only do so much to prepare such events. I know I wish we did not have the time change because it really causes havoc on my blood sugars regardless of moving forward or back.

I know I feel bad mostly for poor Duchess who has been working very hard this week and probably for the next couple weeks if the time change does the same thing again. I know I figured out how to better avoid bad morning lows but this one always seems to be much harder to predict how it will affect me. I know some times it really causes issues and other times it can not change.

UGH the Lows are Back

Some times I really do well with keeping the lows at bay but all of sudden this week I am bottoming out. I am back to using temporary basals to help keep the lows at bay but I know today I woke up low around 55. I have had three lows already for the day and it is early. I know yesterday I did not go to the gym as normal because I was having so many lows. I am even doing combo bolus options to avoid lows when eating certain types of foods. I know I am not using more insulin than I should be. I just adjusted my carbohydrate rates for the day. I know at times weather changes and other changes tend to make me more insulin sensitive at times. I know I should have worked out last night even if I only worked out for 30 minutes that might have helped but at time it is better for me to rest and then go back to my routine the next day.

So I am reviewing everything to see what is causing the crazy lows. I have been under some stress yesterday but not on Monday where I had the same issue. So at this point I am not sure where to look as to the cause. So I am increasing my snacks or eating more frequently to battle the lows. I am really hoping I can get back to normal again because I have become accustomed to having less lows and so I am a little frazzled by how many are showing up. Thankfully Duchess has been aware of the issues and has been warning me pretty early to the lows which has helped to avoid some as well. So I am trying to keep up with my increasing work load at work and trying to just keep my from getting low brain as I like to call it. I tend to get to a point where it feel like I am working in foggy weather mentally which is not ideal. I know today is better than yesterday but not quite where I want to be.

Weird Discussion

I know certain Dr. appointments make me really anxious not matter if I know things are going well. For me that is usually when I go to see my Retina Specialist. I know my eyes have been thankfully really have been cooperating and seem to be getting better. I still have 20/20 vision except at night where I am not blind as a bat. I used to see okay at night but all the laser procedures really have affected my night vision. Thankfully I have glasses at night and I can get around if I need to at night.

I know I was discussing my Retinopathy with some friends on the bus ride home last night. Some how injections in eyes came up randomly and I mention that I have had injections in my eyes. One person says it is like you are living in a horror film of sorts. I was giggling but in all seriousness sometimes complications you end up facing some very scary things such as injections in eye or certain procedures that are not pleasant. I know during these moments I just take it as it comes because sadly most of the procedures no matter how painful really did work. So as unpleasant as my experience was with Retinopathy I know that in the grand scheme of things I have had injections that hurt much worse or an infusion set that was ripped out. So I think keeping a good perspective has really kept my sanity during those scary moments.

My friends and I discussed more about Retinopathy and some of the procedures they have and treatments they use. Overall most of them are not too bad but honestly the worst for me has been when they check pressure in your eyes. They device that reads the pressure is when your eye is open and it is right in front of the eye. I hate anything being near to my eye. So that is pure torture compared to the rest. Keep in mind most of the time I have been able to handle the whole Retinopathy pretty well and keeping my Alc down I know has played a part in my Retinopathy being stable for the past couple of years. I know at the end of the day I am proud of myself for a taking a real active part in research my condition and two for facing things that were overwhelming at times.
I know all of us Diabetics are awesome and deal with painful things such as infusion sites, injections, finger sticks and skin issues. We all make it look so easy.

Waiting to Test

I know I try my best once Duchess alerts to test right away. This morning for example is I was on the bus on the way to work I catch a second bus once downtown. The bus was pulling up to the corner just as Duchess alerts. I gave her a treat and then once I got onto the second bus I finally tested. I know recently it seems her alerts are right when I am transition to my next bus and when I have to run to catch the second bus. I know none of things can be controlled and sometimes when she alerts I have some time before I need to treat or I need to watch carefully over the next hour or so. I know that most of the time my blood sugar is heading down. I have made adjustments to reduce lows at that time and most of the time I am in normal range. The difficult part is making sure Duchess understands that I am responding as quickly as possible and that I am not ignoring her alerts.

Duchess is incredibly sensitive if she thinks you are ignoring her she can decide to delay alerts or not alert at all technically so I know I must be careful how I respond especially in situations like this morning. She seemed okay with me rewarding her and then checking. Keep in mind it was less than 6 minutes but I also know if it was really low that could be bad for me as well. I was with a person that works in my building so I know I was going to make it to work just fine. Sometimes I find it can be difficult when you are waiting to catch a bus because that seems to Duchess like the best time to alert to a low. If I know there is enough time I will test otherwise I end up waiting. I do work with Duchess regularly but I know from experience waiting too long will end up with consequences for me to deal with so I am hoping that I can keep her feeling like I am responding when I am just trying to get to a place where I can test and where I have enough time.