Recently I have been thinking about complications. It has been quite a wild ride over the past couple of years to say the least. I know I have struggled with coming to terms with the complications not because I feel bad about them but because other people judge me. I know they may not mean to but they do. I grantee you that most of the people judging me would not want to walk a mile in my shoes. I have tired my best but sometimes during my teen years things did get out of control and then I got back on track and then would get off track again. I do wish I could of done things differently. The hardest part of all of this was the years where I was so poor I could barely afford to feed myself and event attempt to manage my diabetes. During that time I had not idea their were assistance programs that could of helped. I had insurance coverage but it was not very good. I had insurance but could not afford to use it. All these thing did not help. I have always managed even the two years recently where I was in college I managed my health by going to low cost health clinics which helped. The worst part for me is the guilt I feel for not doing everything perfectly even though I know there is no such thing as a perfect diabetic. I honestly have always beat myself up over any high blood sugar I have had. I like to think diabetes it to blame. I know some people develop complications faster than others. I will never understand why some people's bodies handle it better than others.
Honestly I know my diabetes has never been easy and I currently feel like I did the best I could with what I had and at the end of the day that is good enough in my mind. I know I have been going through the grief process with the latest issue preoperative diabetic retinopathy. I know I have been had quite a few emotions but at the end of the day my life still goes on regardless and I will continue to do the best I can. I know you go through all the steps of grieving which makes sense. I have been through a lot but I am still fighting and will continue to fight I have had nothing but excellent A1C's that I am incredibly proud of and I will continue to strive for those regardless. I wish sometimes people would understand why diabetes is so complicated and that no case is exactly like another. I know they seem to believe that it is easy and I know mine has never been. I know I had scared my parents more than I ever wanted to over the years from lows and illnesses. I wish people would not judge but understand it is never easy and sometimes sadly our best is not good enough even with the help of professionals. I know the years of dealing with the dramatic swings from high to lows over the years was never easy for my body. I know my case has always been considered difficult and I know it still is. I do have to give my parents so much credit because they did a wonderful job managing it but I sadly has bumps along the way.
There is an article here I am talking about my struggle with discrimination and diabetes.
http://www.everydayhealth.com/diabetes/defeating-discrimination-against-people-with-diabetes.aspx?xid=aol_eh-endo_1_20120924_&aolcat=APS&icid=m
Honestly I know my diabetes has never been easy and I currently feel like I did the best I could with what I had and at the end of the day that is good enough in my mind. I know I have been going through the grief process with the latest issue preoperative diabetic retinopathy. I know I have been had quite a few emotions but at the end of the day my life still goes on regardless and I will continue to do the best I can. I know you go through all the steps of grieving which makes sense. I have been through a lot but I am still fighting and will continue to fight I have had nothing but excellent A1C's that I am incredibly proud of and I will continue to strive for those regardless. I wish sometimes people would understand why diabetes is so complicated and that no case is exactly like another. I know they seem to believe that it is easy and I know mine has never been. I know I had scared my parents more than I ever wanted to over the years from lows and illnesses. I wish people would not judge but understand it is never easy and sometimes sadly our best is not good enough even with the help of professionals. I know the years of dealing with the dramatic swings from high to lows over the years was never easy for my body. I know my case has always been considered difficult and I know it still is. I do have to give my parents so much credit because they did a wonderful job managing it but I sadly has bumps along the way.
There is an article here I am talking about my struggle with discrimination and diabetes.
http://www.everydayhealth.com/diabetes/defeating-discrimination-against-people-with-diabetes.aspx?xid=aol_eh-endo_1_20120924_&aolcat=APS&icid=m
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