Taking on a Store

                  I was on break yesterday and headed into a small market across the street from where I work. I of course had Duchess with me. I went into the market and was looking for a water and something to snack on. They have various gluten free items at this market which is quite handy for me. I have been in there several times previous with no issues. Yesterday I had my items and was getting ready to head to the register. The cashier told me I had to leave. I said no by federal and state law my service animal is allowed to be here with me. She said not they do not allow pets. I again told her she was a service animal. I then gave her my federal law card I carry in Duchess's vest. She looked at it and said I have never heard of this law. I then asked to speak to her manager. She then said he was not there. I was so mad I put the items down I was going to purchase and left. I have contacted the manager this morning to discuss this issue. I do not back down. I am planning a training mission for this store. I know some puppy raiser for guide dogs and we all gather to educate businesses on service dogs and the laws. Working together this group has helped cut down on the access issues at the most challenging places.

                    I think there will be at least 8 to 9 service dogs on this trip to this store and I am hoping this will help to get the message across that I am not going away and I must be treated the same way as any other customer. I take my rights very seriously and work hard to keep Duchess within the service dog standards. I really wish I did not have to educate so many people but in general after these experiences. I only end up appreciating my rights even more.

Duchess and Emergencies

                I have learned a great deal about how Duchess handles emergencies involving me. She does get very destructive during the past two seizures at work she has torn up her dog bed at work. I know she was really upset about all the commotion and the people gathering around. I am  not upset because she tore her bed up because I know that is not her normal routine except with her own dog toys which I let her destroy if she wants. She does not damage my things so I was okay with her dealing with the situation the way she could handle it. I have been on a search for a new dog bed to have at work since I want them to last more than 8 months. I did find the Kuranda dog beds which are hard to chew up. The beds are chew proof and I have purchased one for Duchess and hopefully it will not be ruined it I have another seizure or bad low at work.
                                                      

                  Thankfully during the last seizure I had taught a class on what to do during a diabetic seizure and everyone seemed to think the sheet really came in handy. They used all the information I had given which is what I wanted. Duchess was right by my side during the last seizure I remember the whole seizure and everything that went on. I remember the glucagon shot and they did a great job of injecting it in the area I had told them too. They followed all the instruction to the tee which I thought was great. I am still trying to find possible causes for the seizures and ways to prevent them if possible. I think I might be onto the solution but will let everyone know soon.

Latest Endocrinologist Visit

                 I went to the Endocrinologist again and today was interesting in that. They decided that with all my infusion set issue I need to look at all the different infusion set options to find one that can work. I love the quick sets but currently they are only lasting several hours which is not good. All the extra supplies I have gone through in the past week is pretty pricey and I honestly am not made of money sadly. So I have an appointment with educator to find an infusion set that might work better and hopefully last at least two days would be nice. I also have started the Dexcom and will be looking forward to using this data to make the appropriate adjustments easier for me. I tend to move around frequently in my patters and this will help makes things more manageable. The appointment went well but I honestly do not understand why they didn't let me have the infusion sets I wanted in the first place. My blood sugars have not been good considering the hours I have been working. This is my 10th day straight of work. I am getting tired and can't wait til all the overtime is over. Having Dexcom up and running will be helpful during stressful times because I use temporary basals frequently to do quick adjustments.



                               

Do Not Pet

            I normally ride the bus to work because the cost of parking at UT is $35.00 dollars a month.  Then you have the cost of gas and I really can't justify driving into work with that cost. So there is a flyer bus which gets me about a 1/4 of a mile from work and is good exercise for both Duchess and I. I like that I don't have to stress about traffic or weather conditions which is nice. I have meet quite a few staff from UT who ride the same bus as well. Duchess does not seem to mind it but really likes when I drive my car. The downside to the bus is that there is so much you are not able to control. There is a father and daughter that have been riding for the past couple of weeks. The bad part is that he lets his daughter sit near Duchess and me. I have no problem with it, but when he allows her to make noises at Duchess and tries to interact with her is when I have an issue. I try to keep her focused on her work as much as possible and a kid who is constantly talking to Duchess does not help. I do have to admit she has been great about being focused on her work even with the distractions but I try to limit those encounters if possible because it makes things easier for both of us.

               Today the little girl kept trying to pet her even though her dad kept telling her that the dog was working and should not be pet. I think she is a very typical two or three year old. I know the girl just wanted to play but that puts me in a bad situation. Duchess has a very definitive off switch to her and it takes me weeks to get her back on track. So petting is not an option even if I wanted to let the little girl pet her. I always feel bad telling people no but when it involves my personal safety I am very firm. I know some friends who have diabetic alert dogs as well they can have people pet their service dog and have no issues but I still would not trade her for anythings. Duchess is who she is and I am okay with that.

Site Issues

                I have been having some really frustrating issues with pump sites. I have not had some of them last more than 4 hours even with moving to spots I have never used an infusion set in before. I am not sure what is up but honestly I want to throw my pump against the wall since last Thursday. I normally get at least two days out of my infusion sets but only hours is not good. I normally like to have contact detach infusion set for my Animas ping for the frustrating days like this but my Endocrinologist does not like the infusion sets and will not prescribe them. I as the patient feel they should allow me to use whatever infusion set I want to just as long as I am not having a large amount of infections or issues. I am waiting for my new appointment to my new soon which will be nice. Normally I would take a pump vacation for these kind of days but I was working Saturday and Sunday and using Levemir would not work well since it can increase the amount of lows. After just having a seizure I am trying to avoid lows if at all possible.

                                               

                 I seem to be at least able to use an infusion set one day and hopefully by the end of the week be back to my normal. Pumps are a blessing but really can create havoc when things do not go as smoothly as I need them too.

Seizure Patterns

                     I am desperately trying to find a way to stop my seizures. Once I get into a seizure pattern it is very difficult to stop. I just had my third seizure sine July. I was at work but the training of my coworkers on what to do did come in handy and it did work well. I was told by a coworker they thought all the information came in handy and were thankful for being educated. The EMS did end up coming out my seizure even with glucagon lasted over then minutes. They had someone keep time to be safe. This helped me to get all the help I needed. EMS was called but I refused transport to the hospital because they would say the same thing they have said over the past 32 years. This seizure was different even with the smalls symptoms before this time I was dizzy and I rarely ever get dizzy. Then I was awake during the whole seizure and can remember who was there and what was going on. I did become very combative during the seizure which is normal. I can be mean sometimes when I have seizures but that is very typical. The worst part of being awake during my seizures was the pain I was feeling from it. It was very painful.

                       I did go home afterwards and my roommate was home which was good. I am starting my new Dexcom next week and hoping the data will help me with better adjustments in the future which could help. I am not sure how I can stop the seizure pattern without creating havoc in other areas such as my eye's. I have had seizures on and off most of my childhood before age 5 I had frequent seizures and then in high school as well. I know if I continue to have seizure it will star to affect my work. I am very scared of what affects seizures have had on my life and it always feels like I'm living my life on a ledge.

Lessons Learned the Hard Way.

                     I like to participate in the DSMA Diabetic Social Media Advocacy tweet chat on Wednesday nights. last night they were discussing eyes and feet. I have learned a great deal of lessons from my early twenties and have paid the price for some. I had suffered from an eating disorder called exorcise Anorexia. I was so obsessed with exercise and not eating. I used to work out around 2 or three times a day for at least to two hours at a time. I did however take care of my diabetes during that time. I did not sick doses and I did test frequently which is opposite of the diabulemia that some diabetics do suffer from. I was 26 the last time I really struggled with it. I had lost around 65 pounds in three months. I weighed 116lbs at 5"11 which is not good. I was skin and bones. I wore a size zero and still felt fat. The funny thing now is that you cannot tell I ever had an eating disorder. I do exercise but I have to watch my self I can get obsessed with it really easily. I also learned when I went to counseling that I am not allowed to own a scale and I also was told when weighed to turn around so I cannot see what my weight is. My number does seem to trigger me back to my old bad habits. Through the help of my family I have not gone back down that road which is great.

                      The bad part of eating disorders is the havoc it creates. I know I had stress fractures at 29 years old from running. I had three in one ankle and two in the other. The stress fractures started at the top of the ankle all the way down to the heel bone on both my feet. I had to wear air-cast boots for months and then physical therapy to regain my balance afterwards. I have plantar factitious which relates to the stress fractures in my heel bones. This of course was cause by the damage I had done by not eating properly my bones did not get the proper vitamins to keep them strong. I know that there is other things that were affected as well. I have learned a great deal about myself dealing with my exercise anorexia and I still to this day have to be careful about various aspects so I do not go back to where I was. I'm sure I will struggle with that the rest of my life. I  have learned how important a balanced diet is and a balance of exercise as a whole. I need to stay away from extremes which can be difficult and I have done well so far. Taking care of feet and eye's as a diabetic are so important.

Reflecting Back on Previous Appointments

                  I can't express the relief that I will not have to have surgery on my vitreous humor also called a vitrectomy. The vitreous humor is the gel substance in the eye and is removed during the surgery. Most of the time because continued hemorrhaging in the eye which can cause loss of vision because the blood did not clear out of the vitreous humor. I felt like some one had took several hundred bricks off my back after my appointment. I know there is the possibility for surgery in the future but I wanted to make sure I tried all other options before I proceed forward. The previous Retina specialist told me that I had too much scar tissue from the first laser treatment and that there is no way laser would be an option and I have concluded he lied. He also said that my eye is incredibly unstable but I also learned that the standard procedure was not followed. From what I have learned depending upon on how you react to the laser and injections in the eyes they should be done regularly. According to my new Dr. I should of been seen once and month. I also should of had both eyes laser-ed monthly not each eye since June. I had a feeling the minute I meet my previous Dr. that I did not like him there was something off.  The Dr. came across as slimy and greedy which makes sense why he did not follow procedure is because he wanted to operate instead of doing laser and other methods.The Dr. kept telling me that my eye was getting worse by the day which made no sense because at the previous appointment he thought everything was going great. My eye even with my recent hemorrage is doing fine according to the new Dr. I just need to get laser treatments done soon.

                                             
                   I am angry that I had to go through this because of one bad Dr. but it serves as a great reminder to me that yes I need to listen to my gut feeling about Dr.'s. The new Dr. was very polite answered all questions and listened to me. I am hoping that my experience continues to be the same as my first visit. I am all for questions Dr.'s because I think we need to make sure what they are doing is right for us. I have spent a great deal of the past four months fighting for what I believed was the right care. I will continue to do this for myself because I feel this is the only way to keep me safe and healthy. I know even Duchess seemed to like this Dr better as well.

Refreshing Change

               I went for my second opinion after my recent visit with the Retina specialist I was seeing told me I needed surgery. I was really surprised how different the staff and Dr.'s were at this clinic. I was not treated I was stupid for asking questions. They actually provide the patients with video's and information about their condition to further educate themselves. The Dr. discussed my case and he thought I needed more laser treatments before we proceed to surgery. In fact he normally waits a year before he would head in that direction. He did point out some interesting things to me during the visit as well. The Dr. decided to have a picture done of my retina and showed me the spots of blood vessel growth and where laser was done. He pointed out areas where the old blood vessels had rescinded which is good. He also pointed out quite a few spots where items should of been laser-ed but had not been. It was a refreshing change from my previous Dr.'s office. I did not feel like the Dr. saw me a dollar signs which the previous one did.

                 I was so relieved to hear I will not need surgery yet and that I can look at the laser and shots as treatments options. It was so nice to find a Dr. who seems to listen to me as the patient which was nice because recently I have not gotten that much recently. Duchess seemed to like the Dr. better as well which always makes me feel better. The staff was very polite and they did not dilate my eyes too early that they needed to re-dilated which was nice. Hoping for things to continue to improve with my eye's.

                 I do have to say I think my mother would of been very proud of me for doing me what she taught me to do. I have to say I was blessed to have her advice and suggestions because now all this information is helping to keep me safer and healthier because of it.

Grace Under Pressure

              I was at work last Friday when a bomb threat was issued for The University of Texas. The details given about why we needed to evacuate the building were not given and sadly most people exited the buildings they were in and stayed close not knowing it was a bomb threat. A person came by where I saying it's a bomb threat we need to get away from campus as quick as possible. Through it all everyone was extremely calm which was good. Everything was so poorly communicated. I read an article online before I actually received information from the university that it was a bomb threat. What really made me angry is that the call came in at 8:36 and they waited til 9:50 to get everyone out. The bomb was supposed to go off shortly after that time I believe in 15 minutes. All the other university's that had the same threat evacuated right away. There is a lot of upset people including me. As I was walking away from campus there was a student with a guide dog. I was walking bye with Duchess. She did not even look at the dog she kept her focus and kept walking the guide dog however was pulling its owner towards me. I was so proud of Duchess after dealing with an evacuation was still on her game as far as her ability focus on her work. I know I work with her frequently and its looks like all my work is paying off.

                After the standing in the rain for over an hour I was sent home by my boss. I had taken the bus and usually I catch them on campus but the buses were detoured away from campus. I call the bus company and was told I had to walk Duchess across the freeway and then into the bad side of town to catch the bus I was not very happy. I had already had my blood sugar drop quickly to 40 once and walking to the bus stop even with a temp basal was not going to be fun. Then by chance my manager drove by and offered me a ride home. I was lucky because walking almost a mile and a half to catch a bus was less than ideal in the rainy weather. Friday was not the best day but honestly having an afternoon off was quite nice. I ran to the store and I ran into another service dog. Again Duchess looked forward and kept walking while the other service dog was trying to pull their owner so they could meet Duchess. She was so focused and all about her job. She not only handled a stressful situation earlier in the day and then continued to work with such concentration. She had me beaming with pride. I am hoping there is no more bomb threats at UT anytime soon. It was a frustrating day to say the least.

Life on the ledge

               The past four and half years have been filled with emergency situations and many dangers for me. I know two years ago when I got Duchess the amount of emergencies has dropped dramatically. That has helped me to reduce some of the worry but sadly not enough. I still am stuck on the last emergency in August that shook up my world and the previous one in July. I work so hard to avoid these situations but I know every once in a while one will get by me. I feel like I have spent way too much time on the side of cliff waiting to fall over to an extent. I know all diabetics feel to an extent they are living on the edge but these seizures really is like being slapped upside the face with reality that you cannot control everything at all times. It is a good reminder but so scary. I do defiantly feel safer having Duchess around but I also am worried for her as well. I learned from my last seizure that EMS was not ready and had no procedures for dealing with service dogs in place. This is scary for me as for her as well. She goes everywhere with me and I know she would not handle being separated from me very well. I know the separation during an emergency event can affect the service dogs.
        
                  To create less worry I created and emergency plan for me as well as Duchess. I have two friends willing to keep her if she is unable to stay with me in an emergency which is good to have. Most of the time my goal is too keep her with me. Honestly I handle the situations better with my Duchess by my side. I also have provided information to my work who to call for which situations. I have also found local company willing to transport me and Duchess in an emergency. Hopefully all these things will make the process easier if it happens again. I am hoping not anytime soon. I had my share of lows when I was younger and then the numbers were less and less to the point I would not have them but on very rare occasions.

People Assume I'm a Trainer

                I was at the store the other day with Duchess and was shopping for a few items. I was waking by two women in the store. I heard one woman say to the other one that is so wonderful that women is training that dog for someone who needs it. I hear comments like this all the time. I was approached by the woman who asked who I was training the dog for? I told her actually she was my dog. The funny thing is how much their reactions change when they find out that she is really mine. I know because it's not visible most people think their is no need for me to have a service dog. I know most of the people are pretty embarrassed to an extent which I get, but learning that not all things are visible is a good think to learn. I know my life as long as I have a service dog will always be included as part of strangers conversations in the stores. Which sometimes are pretty funny. I am learning to grow thicker skin when it comes time to the comments as I grow more accustomed to my life as I know it now.

                                        

                I am also so excited I get my Dexcom in the mail today. So I will be reporting back on my opinion of the Dexcom and how it works for me. I know it will come no where close to Duchess's abilities but at least it has graphs to help me make better basal changes in the future. The Dexcom also is not as cuddly and sweet as she is either. Nice to have another tool to use and hopefully this extra information will help to make even better adjustments as needed in the future.

My Story and How It Brought Duchess Into My Life

I thought I would re-post my story for people who may have missed it. 


My life as a type 1 diabetic has never been dull. Always something going on. I used to feel like I was on a roller coaster as a kid. I would swing from high to low frequently. I was tested for epilepsy quite a few time because of all the seizures I had as a kid. Things did calm down for a bit but even as a child I remember times where I would not have the normal symptoms of low blood sugar but never thought any thing of it.

In 2008 my life took some dramatic changes my mother passed away at 52 years old. She was my best friend and biggest supporter. My mother and I shared a great deal of things in common including type 1 diabetes. I was diagnosed at 18 months old and she was diagnosed at 36 years old. My mother was incredible and went above and beyond in everything she did. She even became a nurse to better understand diabetes and how she could help me. I still miss her dearly especially as things went very awry after she passed away. When she was gone things were so tough. My mother died of a heart issue. It was a surprise to us to find out shortly before she passed that she had rheumatic fever as a child and it was never treated. Which destroys your heart valves. I learned grief is like having a second job and I was so busy with it my diabetes monitoring went down sadly.

In June of 2008 I was driving home from work and blacked out driving. I don't remember any part of the drive home. Except waking up in an ambulance and a cop yelling at me. I was really scared and confused. The ambulance driver kicked the cop out and got me treated. I did start to remember some things about that drive but not much. The cops on the scene wanted me to do a sobriety test because they felt I was either high or drunk even after the EMS telling them I had low blood sugar. My roommate had showed up and thankfully told the cops I would not be doing a sobriety test. That a diabetic would fail when their blood sugar has been low like mine was. I know the incident with the cops was not good in fact a woman took a video of what happened with the cops they had been extremely rough even with my cooperating with their instructions according to the woman. I woke up the next day with bruises every where. I talked with my endocrinologist the next day and we decided it was time to got back on the insulin pump which I agreed with.

I tried to see if the pump would help reduce the number of lows I was having but after 6 months it really was not making enough difference. On several occasions after work on the way to my car I would get disoriented and get lost. I worked at a big university and that could be very dangerous. I also had passed out at work and home. I really need something more to help. I tried the CGMS but that also was not helping enough. Most of the time It would alert after I had passed out. I have had times where my blood sugar would drop 60 or more points in just minutes. That could be very dangerous for me. So i was researching online when I came across this article online about diabetic alert dogs. I knew that was probably my best option. I had had several concussions, stitches and stress fractures from lows since all the crazy lows I was having.

I did a great deal of research on having a service dog and what that would entail and I knew that might be right for me. I was losing my life as I knew it. I was so afraid to drive, and go anywhere for any length of time. I started staying home and missing out on life. I knew I wanted my freedom back. So i started the process with a trainer outside of Texas where I live. I had to do quite a bit of fundraising these service dogs are quite expensive and insurance will not help pay for one. I received Duchess my service dog in August of  2010. It has been an interesting adventure so far but I would change a thing. I really feel that my service dog is a great match for my personality and lifestyle. Duchess gave me back my life and there is just no words to how thankful I am. Especially to the trainer, my family and friends who donated money to help make this happen. There has been some great improvements since I got my dog. My Alc have never been better. I don't have as many lows and rarely get high numbers which is wonderful.

Fight over Surgery

                    My latest adventure with the retina specialist has been interesting even though my eye has continued to improve the Dr. still thinks surgery is still needed but I disagree. The minute I walked into this office which has several eye Dr. specialists there is no empty seats in their lobby. They treat people like they are dollar signs. I called to get a second opinion and I will also get a third if necessary. I do not believe in going ahead with a surgery until several Dr.'s believe I do. I have had a surgery where I ended up with 3 extra holes in my body because they messed up. I am careful also because it is my eyes. I called to schedule an appointment and the lady asked which group I had been too I told her and she said let me guess they want to operate. I said yes and she asked which Dr. and she told me he is know as one of the one who always wants surgeries done when their is steps that could of taken to prevent the need for surgery. I am glad I called and checked into it because the Dr. from the minute I meet him gave me the feeling he was there for the money and not the patient. I had issues with comments from the nurses at the clinic as well. So honestly switching Dr.'s will be most likely what I do.

                      This Dr. has won awards for his work and practice and is involved in research as well. He was recognized by National Health Institute for his research. I have been told by a friend who's father recommended him that he is reasonable and does not jump right into surgery unless it is really necessary. I am hoping for a much better experience. After the last one I am just tired. I promised myself a long time ago that I would always follow my gut on things and I am really glad I did this time. I also did not like that the Dr. thought I could afford to spend thousands of dollars for a surgery that was not yet necessary. I know the Dr. yesterday was offended I was question my need for surgery. I think every patient need to question to protect your own health and I will continue to do so.

Older Article about Rising Rates of Type 1 Diabetes

              I recently ran across and article about diabetes and the pacific northwest where I was born and raised. I know I have always thought that their was environmental factors involved in the development of diabetes. I know I am not a fan of all the hormones and additives in our food system. I know when I was a little kid back in the 80's they seemed to be adding more and more things I still am unable to pronounce. I know that has only increased and so has the rates of type 1 diabetes. I know this article talks about what a large number of people in Seattle that have type 1 and it makes you start to wonder if besides food what other causes could their be that could affect it as well. Does all the pesticides we use on plants and lawn affects these rates? I am not an expert but I know the increase in Type 1 is not good. I am also aware of how many Type 1 who are currently having children which could contribute to the rising number. but I believe there is more than that could account for. Dr. Hagopian believes that diabetes is 50 percent environmental and 50 percent genetics which makes sense to me. He look as the environmental, infectious and dietary exposures that could possibly be contributing factors to developing diabetes which is interesting. This article is old was published back in 2007 but is one of the few that actually talks a little about some environmental factors which is good.

                I found this article interesting in that there is such a high rate of type 1 in Seattle and since I grew up there just brings up more questions about factors that could contribute. I have a feeling that it will be quite some time before they ever figure out what environmental factors do contribute to diabetes. That is never an easy question but I had never heard that Seattle had such a high rate of type 1 diabetes. I know in high school there were several type 1's but I never really thought that was unusual. I know there is several diabetic alert dog training facilities in the Seattle area as well and with the higher rates it makes sense. I am so glad for the basic technology that I have even such as the meter because when I was diagnosed I waited years till I got my first meter and urine testing was highly inaccurate. Being diagnosed in 1980 I know the expectations were so different today. I am happy they have developed much better knowledge of diabetes but I am concerned that there will be enough money for researching further to find a cure. Honestly I don't know if there will be one not because I don't want one but because I have been told for so many years we are ten years away we are five years away from a cure after a while you just accept this is your life and move on. I do hope there is a cure but I am not as optimistic as I once was 32 years into the disease.

http://www.seattlepi.com/lifestyle/health/article/Seattle-at-forefront-for-Type-1-diabetes-research-1239939.php

Various Things

               This week has been interesting to me because Duchess has been off I think she wanted yesterday to be Friday. Which I actually do not blame her because I was wishing for the exact same thing. She is tried of all the overtime and so forth. I am think of planning a day or two off in October when my overtime period ends they just let me know yesterday that I am still on overtime hours. Which is good money wise but not so great for Duchess in some ways. I do provide her with toys and bones to keep her busy during the day but that only lasts so long before she tires of those things. I am very proud of her for handling a long period of overtime because honestly my job really requires it in order for to get all aspects of my job done. My job is fast paced and is very specialized. I really enjoy it most days and I know Duchess likes where I work for the most part. She continues to amaze me at her willingness to handle things as it comes. I could not be prouder of her increased efforts to continually keep me safe. I know the overtime after a while can also affect my blood sugars most of the time with more lows but having Duchess that is usually not an issue.

                I am now in the process of ordering my Dexcom which is quite exciting. The best news is currently if you purchase a Dexcom starter pack they will reimburse you $200.00 in a main in rebate which is great because after my insurance the total out of cost after rebate will be $150.00 which is not bad at all. I am looking forward to having more information to make even better changes to my pump settings and the ability to pick up trends more efficiently. So I will be reporting back once I get the Dexcom and my experience with it. Mind you my dog will beat out the Dexcom overall but she sadly does not draw me graphs so having that information will be helpful. She can tell 40 minutes on average sometimes more before I go low but the Dexcom is actually running behind the meter so Duchess can easily beat it but it will be another tool in my arsenal. I am attaching the link for the rebate for a Dexcom starter packs below. There was something on an article for last Diabetes awareness month that was " Life (and death) happens between finger sticks" for me it is close calls involving seizures but really the same principals. It's a sad but very true statement.

http://www.dexcom.com/sites/dexcom.com/files/RebateSubmissionOnlineForm_September2012.pdf

Constant Fear

                 I read an article by" Diabetic Dad" by Tom Karlya it was a really well written article I have shared a link for below.It is about dead in bed syndrome and how we look at these deaths and how the fear of this happening can cause us to live in complete fear when we really should just be evaluating our circumstances to make sure that we are doing the best for our own individual diabetes. I know I have spent a great deal of time recently fighting with Dr.'s about what I need to help me and now what the text book cases do. I know my last four and half years have felt like I have been living on the edge of a cliff waiting for myself to tumble over. I know when I was first diagnosed with hypoglycemia unawareness I stopped living life because of fear when I really should of been fighting to find other options. I did find other options but the fear had taken over. I know I am not going to let my hypoglycemia unawareness take over my life again I will continue to find other options by researching and learning as much as possible. Duchess gave me back my freedom and even more in some ways. I have also learned that I can live life I used to and I do not live in fear. I have had quite a few seizures and issues but honestly that will not stop me from trying to do the best I can. At the end of the day I have always just done the best I can and I can't expect anymore than that.

                  There was also a mention in the article about how scary it must be for the person who is living with diabetes and that is so very true. I know I worry for my family as well because they worry too. I know I will always worry more than they do but I also have learned that I can not let that stop me from doing the things I love. Most of my time as a diabetic I have never let it stop me until four years ago and I have not let it stop me once I realized that I needed to let go of the fear. Life is much better on the otherside of constant fear.              

                                 http://diabetesdad.org/2012/09/04/dead-from-diabetes/

Hiding Behind It

             I was talking with my friend who I have not seem much of recently because I have been working so much. She pointed something out to me that I had not really thought much of or realized. She pointed out that my pump site in my arm was slightly showing under the edge of my short sleeve. I asked her why that was a big deal but then she pointed out that most of the time she has never seen my sites being anywhere close to visible. I have spent most of my life hiding I was a diabetic and I am not a hundred percent sure why. I normally hide my pump sites and try to hide all my gear I guess for my own privacy. I have always been a very private person and I have always struggled with being able to tell people I was diabetic. I am not as fear less as Kerri from "Six Until Till Me' is and I have been working on it over the years. I have made some huge strides in my life now that I am telling more people without worry and also educating more at the same time. I am in some ways in the spotlight of sorts because of Duchess and how she draws attention. I can't really hide from my diabetes the way I have in the past which is good because I need to face things head on. I do take care of myself but I rarely every share my diabetes issue with others until I lost my mother. I was doing more educating about diabetes the past several years than I ever have before and it has given me a deal of unexpected blessings.

                                                     

              I have been wearing my pump sites on my arms more frequently and I honestly do not care if they are visible even at work. I do have them showing during exercise which is not new. I know my co-workers look at me funny but one of them says I understand you need to move them around and if your arms are easy you are going to put it there. I have to admit that I am not ashamed to be diabetic. I have worn my pump showing on my pants on a clip pretty often but the tubing is hidden until recently I have been a little more haphazard with the tubing in that I have no desire to spend so much time hiding it. I have also have been putting my sites on my legs and don't care if they are seen. It feels good not to worry about if some one can see it or not. I have been trying recently to put aside my need for privacy in order to educate others instead of hiding behind my diabetes. Diabetes has been a part of my life for 32 years and there is no need to hide when there is so much to share.

                                           

Fine Tuning

                  I have to say I loved having the time off from work on Monday. I needed the break more than I realized. I did spend some time working on fine tuning some training with Duchess which I do frequently to keep her at service dog standards. There is so many things I need to be concerned about. Duchess has always had a weak spot for food even with her training. I do have to frequently work with her on her impulse control through daily and weekly training exercises. All service dogs have a weak spot and her is is food which is no surprise most labs love food. She does really well with her leave it command and does not usually go after the food. She will from time to time act like she is going to get the item but then she pulls back because she knows she should not be focusing on the food. I do not allow her to beg there is an order that we eat in at home. She always eats after me which helps keep established in her mind the pack order. These things really do help keep her impulses under control. She has to wait for my command to eat anything and this makes it easier for her to understand when and what she can have.

                  I had a pretty good weekend of great blood sugars except for two bad infusion sites but overall a very relaxing weekend. Could not of asked for a more relaxed productive weekend. Hope everyone had a great weekend as well.