CGM in The Cloud

Today Mike at Diabetes Mine wrote and article " The Hypo That Changed My Mind About CGM In the Cloud". Being a single woman with two roommates who do no understand Diabetes or want to learn makes my life a little more complicated. I know my family worries a great deal about me but I also know that my family would freak out if they saw a 40 or below on my CGM. I know they would also not get that a great deal of the time my CGM says I am low but could actually be 90 all night. My numbers are not so accurate that the devices would be much help in my situation. If you have Hypoglycemia Unawareness and have someone in their life willing to hear the Dexcom go off all night that is great. I know my family would go nuts because they would contact me anytime it went low and I would go crazy because I am not really low.

I would really need a great sensor before I would consider letting any one know how many lows I do have because I know I will hear about it to no end. So I choose not to tell my family about this option because I know I would get lectured or yelled at because I am low. I know my father does not really understand Hypoglycemia Unawareness or the fact I have more frequent lows. So I choose to keep my numbers to myself and just try my best to reduce the numbers of lows on my own. I know my family would not be the right people who handle this information. They do not see me enough to remember what bad lows are like or how to handle them. So I choose to not really keep them in the loop for my own sanity. Considering all the challenges I have I know that at the end of the day my choice to not join all the others with the CGM in the cloud is the best choice for me.

I know for some people this is really wonderful but I know me and I would feel constrained by the information the technology provides. If the Dexcom was more accurate I am sure I would not be waiting but since my family is not ready for this I am just going to monitor my own and do the best I can because I know my family will never understand why I have so many lows or really understand why my CGM is not that accurate for me. So I will continue to not educate them about this technology and just monitor it on my own. I am a very private person so having another person watching it would be difficult for me. I know every time I have a high blood sugar I feel like a failure and lows make me feel angry. So I am happy to view my own Dexcom for now. I know it is the right thing for me.

http://www.diabetesmine.com/2014/09/the-hypo-that-changed-my-mind-about-cgm-in-the-cloud.html 

Too Much

I have been making progress and working on so many things that I am really struggling to keep up with it all. Honestly the lows at night I should have made changes earlier than I did but I have been so busy trying to master so many things Diabetes related that I lose my focus at times. This time of year is also stressful at work as well. So I have been feeling very cornered and just feeling buried in things to do. I try my best but at times all this work I do in so many areas of my life feels incredibly difficult. Even with having Duchess things are still never easy. I know I feel like I want to throw in the towel today but I know I will not.

I know today is just one of those days but some times I really would love to just have a day off. I have been pushing myself hard to work out, reduce lows, and work on overnight lows. That is a great deal to take on. The exercise thing is so much easier now but as I increase my runs that will be the challenging part for me. I am still learning how my body will handle lows that I can;t feel and running. So I will be under a great deal of pressure to figure it out quickly but I know it will be a trial and error situation. So I know the more I push myself with my exercise the more stressful things will become in the end it will all be worth the effort but on days like today it is just too much.

Sleep is Eluding Me

Some weeks are easier than others. This week has had its challenges. I have had issues with overnight lows and increasing my exercise at the same time. I know I have had to try and make the Dexcom more noticeable to me when I am sleeping. I am back to the point and it goes off all night long. So I made some adjustments yesterday and thankfully last night I am finally staying above low most of the night. The issue was that we had bad thunderstorms that I could not sleep through so from 1am-3:30am I was hearing all the car alarms going off and the thunder striking the ground. Then I finally start to fall asleep then the Dexcom goes off by then I was extremely irritated because I had run yesterday afternoon like I normally do. I was not wanting to test my Dexcom said it was 55 or below so I treated it which is not my normal routine. At times my Dexcom can be really off so I it was risky just treating with out do proper tests.

I guess when I get tired enough it becomes more and more about sleep. I know I am dragging this week and really just need more sleep. Working out is extremely difficult when you are not sleeping well but at least I am still working out each day. I am hoping that next week I get more sleep because honestly I am getting cranky and I know even Duchess is tired too. I know I am very dependent on getting proper sleep to keep my blood sugars more stable. The less sleep the more wonky my blood sugars tend to be and I know the past three days they have been. I know I need more sleep but with my schedule these days I am running from one thing to the next which does not leave much time to catch up on lost sleep. Diabetes at times drives me crazy because I really just want nights where I sleep most of the night. Hoping I get to sleep more tonight because I know otherwise Friday will be an incredibly long day.

Running Half Marathon

I recently asked my best friend since I was twelve if she wanted to join me in running a half marathon next year. I was very excited when she said yes. She has run several half marathons and said she believes in my ability to do it as well. I have had some negativity towards me running the half marathon from my own family to an extent. I know I have a great team of Dr.'s creating a team to help me get to my goal of running the half marathon so I feel I will be able to do it safely. The great part of having her help is that she has done this before and I can learn from her to an extent. It will be an incredible challenge but I am confident I can and will be able to accomplish my goal. I used to have bucket list that I ran across recently and realized I was happier when I was trying to mark things off my bucket list. I know I plan to go skydiving with my best friend for Birthday which is in October and it is an early birthday present for me as well. So I could not be more excited by this. I am an adrenaline junkie of sorts.

So my bucket list has a great deal of crazy fun adventures which I am looking forward to. I am actually starting to add more item and also work towards figuring out how I will be able to do some of the items. I know the half marathon was on my bucket list before so I know I am excite to be moving forward with my goal. The half marathon will be in May of next year and I have a great deal of pushing myself to do but I know once I put my mind too it I will be able to accomplish most things. I know with having Hypoglycemia Unawareness there is some danger but if I listen to my Dr. and listen to my own body I know I will be able to figure out any issues that come along. I know right now I am able to run a several miles already in just two weeks. I am slowing my pace down to allow my body to adjust to running. So far my ankles and knee's are cooperating very well with the running and the temps are not too bad at night so I can move to running more at night which I am loving. I know I will never get much support from running the marathon from those around me but I am okay with that. I know I am very strong person who has faced a great deal of obstacles in my life. So this will just be another.

The Assumptions That Creates Issues

I have had several discussion over the past few months and the people all disclosed that they assumed I did less work because of my disability. I find it quite insulting that yes I do have challenges and some flexibility in my schedule to allow me to keep my job. I do not get breaks on my work and I don't get special treatment. I have to do the same job that previous person did as well. In fact I have even accomplished more than my predecessors did as well. I find in interesting that they automatically assume that I do less because of my disability but there is times my department would not have functioned without my dedication and hard work.

I find that the most people have a great deal of assumptions about disabilities. My job is still tough and even more so these days only because  the people I work with choose to make things more difficult for me to handle. I also have seen that they assume that I get more pay and special benefits but I do not. I had to fight for every penny I get today. I had to lay it out for our assistant director at the time how financially strapped at times due to medical issues etc. I have always done the best I can with what I have. I find it very interesting that they think I don't have to pull my weight as much. The interesting part is I miss less days than my healthy coworkers, I take less vacation days, I do not leave early frequently, and I have done more work than my coworkers. It may seem that having accommodations that I would get special things but for me that means if I am late because I was having a bad low that gives me the opportunity to make up the time or use my time if I want. I also know that that is my only real accommodation besides being able to make up time for Dr. appointments which really helped me to have time saved up for emergencies or sickness.

I know I am sure most people assume my life is easy and simple is actually so far from it. No matter what is going on in my life I am deal with public access issues, training, Diabetes, CGMS and other aspects of my life. Sadly that list does not include all the things I need to be concerned with. So I find it frustrating that people believe my life is easy I find it is not but the worst part of this for me is that some people purposely make my life more difficult because they think I have an edge on them or I don't have to work as hard. I know after several years of being here some people have not noticed all the weekends and long hours I work but I guess maybe they don't want to see that.

Increasing Confidence

I have been noticing that with me running now that my hearing of my Dexcom is even worse than before. I am not back to a glass bowl with rocks a cup and my Dexcom in the cup all so I can hear the low or high alarms. I know I am healthier doing more rigorous exercise but there is also the good and bad to everything. have noticed now that even if my Dexcom sensor failed during the night I am less likely to be late for work because it seems now that I am able to hear my alarms in the morning where before I was not. I also have noticed now that I seem to be able to fluctuate my meal times a little more without sever lows which is quite nice.

I have noticed the more muscle I build the stronger and more resilient I have noticed I am becoming. I know with Hypoglycemia Unawareness it really makes you more likely to have a bad lows so I am thankful for any improvement big or small. I also have been able now to get where most days I do not have a low at the gym at all. I am getting better at figure out how to keep the lows away while exercising. I am working on figuring out now how to do longer runs without the lows if possible and I know that will take some time. It took a great deal of experimenting to figure out how to handle up to 50 minutes on the elliptical without a low. Running actually for around 30 minutes I seems to find what worked really easily maybe I am finally figuring it out with some practice. I know each person is different so finding what works for you can be challenging.

I am thankful for the little things like shot bloks which have made finding ways to avoid lows so much easier. It is better than eating cookies or other bad things instead keeping it healthier and not having major spikes and drops really has helped me to achieve a great deal of goals. I am working now on increasing my distance and pace of my running. So as I increase things I know I will be battling lows again but for once I feel much more confident that I have this handled.

Show Me Your Pump

I know my first Friends for Life Conference in Orlando last year I experienced so much actually both times. I know the first conference I meet two of the sweetest little girls. I remember I was with Duchess in the hall way on my way back to my room my blood sugar was heading low so I was on my way back to my room. I meet some parents who had questions about Duchess. So I was explaining to the parents what Duchess does for me. Then one of the little girls notices my pump on my hip. She then lifts up her dress to show me her pump. Then the little girl next to her who also had an Animas One Touch Ping pulls up her dress and does the same thing. I know they felt so proud to show me that they had the same pump. I know the feeling of belonging was something I had never felt before the Friends for Life Conference. Meeting people in person is really priceless. I know I was trying to not laugh as the girls were lifting up their dresses because I wanted them to not be embarrased about their pumps. I know that moment I will never forget. It was such a fun moment.

I know with the Show me your pump from Sierra Sandison it made me think back to friends for life. I also know I can't get over how funny Mike Lawson's photo was. I know when I ever hear show me your pump I think of that picture. Sierra Sandison will be on Dr. Oz on September 11th we should show are support and share again #ShowMeYourPump pictures. I know it was really wonderful to see all the pump pictures and the positive message that was sent to the general public. The more positive messages we can send the better. 

Wonky Numbers

My blood sugars have really been wonky the past couple of days. I know I have not felt well but I did not expect them to be this wonky. At night I can be either really low or run 180 all night or 60 all night. Normally when I am working out my blood sugars are in the 130's-140 range normally but last night my blood sugars shot up into the 160's while exercising. Normally I would be dropping down into the 90-100 range towards the end of the workout. Last night I was climbing up. I had eaten dinner before I worked out but normally I do not bolus for my food it tends to help me from not going low along with shot bloks. So I was really surprised I had to bolus last night while working out. I was going at a very fast and steady pace. I did not feel high and was really surprised to hear my Dexcom go off as high. I might occassionally see a low especially in the last ten minutes of working out but now I seem to have gotten to where I am not going low but end up in the 90's and eat a snack.

I did not eat a snack last night and took around two units of insulin and still ended up in the 160 range after working out. I know I do tend to rise slightly after I finish because of the fact I did not bolus for my dinner. So I know I have to bolus but I guess I should have bolused more. I feel asleep watching television last night and I had not looked at my Dexcom before going to bed. It was running in the 150 range which is rather high for me at this time of night. I am not sure why the drastic change in blood sugars all of a sudden just really hoping it settles down. I am used to my blood sugars being a little more predictable. I know the past four or five days I have been guessing and not very well either.

I feel okay today so hopefully that is the end of the crazy of either high or low blood sugars. I know I am really tired since I could not sleep last night because I was low on and off for several hours. Once my blood sugar was normal again sleep still eluded me. I am really hoping for a much smoother day today. I know tonight I am running which means that I will most likely be running lower just as long as I have my blood sugar high enough before running I will avoid a low. My fingers are crossed. I know tonight I am just hoping for steady blood sugars that allow sleep.