Duchess Surprise Issue

I went for a vet visit for Duchess on Saturday morning. I had thought she had a simple UTI infection but instead she has incontinence at 6 years old. Which seems weird to me. I am not sure if it is that but I will know more at the end of this week if the medication is working or not. The interesting part of this is all is that Duchess was incredibly embarrassed and tried to hide from me she was having an issue. She would lay on the little spot on her dog cot so I would not see. She has not having accidents when we were out and about just little small spots on her dog cot which I wiped downed and cleaned up. So I am not overly concerned about that right now. My concern is that she had crystallized urine which could be kidney stones. The vet said that can happen from time to time but if it shows up again they will have to do further tests. I know her next visit they will do another urine analysis. I find it really odd that she is having these issues at six years old. It can go away completely but I have a feeling because she was spayed younger that was part of the issue.

My first dog Angie also had this but not until she was 12 years old but back then they did not have drugs to treat this issue. I know that the not having the hormones present seem to be a cause of the issue. I know normally I would wait till at least a year olde before spaying my dog because this issue does not seem to show up. When we spay earlier it always seems to be an issue that comes up. I could be wrong but that is what I have personally observed. So I am waiting to see what happens next. Hoping that this will go away after being taking less and less over time. I am happy they have options but I am not sure that is what she really has. Luckily she does not seem to have any other issues so I am hoping that I will see a big improvement. The issue just seems to be more of an issue for Duchess and her being embarrassed. I know her training is a big reason why. She knows she is not supposed to have accidents. The amount is very minute so I am optimistic.

I as the her care taker this has been really difficult because I want her healthy and not on a ton of pills if at all possible. I know I want the same for myself as well. I just wish that she made it easier for me to notice when she does not feel well. I know Duchess is no easy to notice when something is wrong even with my trying to keep on eye on things.

Thoughts on Ice Bucket Challenge

I have been thinking about the recent ice bucket ALS challenge that went viral. I know people want us to do the same thing or something similar. I have my doubts if it would work because of all the incorrect information spread by the media. I know in order to get the same results from a challenge like the ice bucket we need to be viewed in a more positive manner. That is difficult when the average person thinks managing Diabetes is simple and some people don't even try. It is really hard for others to view things properly if they think that it is easy. I know my Diabetes can be very difficult and always has been hence the brittle Diabetic term that was added to my medical files when I was a baby.

I know even my own family at times forgets how difficult it can be when they are not around me enough. So I know it would be incredibly difficult to get the same amount of support until we correct a great deal of the incorrect information that has been going around for years. I hear constantly from the general public oh its easy you just test and take insulin. I tell them that is really incorrect. There is a great deal of things that affect blood sugar. So getting them to understand would not be an easy task and some would choose still to not believe. Even my own family would choose to donate more money to Cancer than to Diabetes when I used to raise funds for the ADA and JDRF. They always gave more money for Cancer or other illnesses because I assume they thought it would not kill me or just thought it was really slow moving.

I am frustrated we don't get the same support and funding from people because of the blame factors of Diabetes. This always has made me angry. I know people with ALS deserved funds too but, I want Diabetes to get the same funding as well. I know we need to correct a great deal of the the misinformation that the general public thinks is fact before I think we will get the same type of response from some thing similar to the ice bucket challenge.

Excellent Visit and Good News

Well my visit with my Retina Specialist went well. There was no real changes in my eye and there was no formation of the bad blood vessels that cause the hemorrhages in my eyes. They said no Edema or any other issues showing. My eyes looked great he noticed my blood pressure was low which is normal for me most of the time.He said my eyes looked very stable and I would not have to come back for another six months. So my goal of keeping my Alc in range has really seemed to help me keep the Retinopathy stable as well. I know I take risks running my blood sugars lower but being able to keep my eyes as healer as possible is also beneficial as well. I know I make decision everyday that some would not make but I know what works for me and my life. Doing the type of work I do I need to be able to see well enough to look a computer screen all day.

I am happy that my eyes are doing so great because of all my hard work has paid off. I still have 20/20 vision currently and I could not be any happier with that. I do not see well at night but I can get around as necessary but I am looking at getting glasses for night driving. So I am very proud that my good blood sugars have helped me in avoiding any long term issues with my eyes. Even though it has been a bumpy ride I have learned so much about how keeping things well controlled does make a difference when having complication. I know I have struggled with the pressure of keeping things where I think they need to be. I also know my eyes are truly a reflection of all my hard work. I know I plan on keeping up with all the things I am currently doing.

Struggling to Educate At Times

There is times that I meet people from the general public and the discussion turns incredibly offensive very quickly. I know when you are disabled they see me as a dumping ground for insults not matter how nice I am. I try my best to educate as I can but there is some that are not open to learning the truth which is frustrating. I know I wish I could get people to understand Diabetes is  not as simple as I test blood sugar and take shots. It is so complicated and they go straight into the blame factors right away. I know I will be blamed if I die from a low even though we all know at times we will never know what cause the blood sugar to drop dramatically or rise high quickly. Even when you check your infusion sets, make sure hands are clean etc. I know it is hard to be faced with the ignorance of the general public most of the time.

I know recently I have felt that no matter what I will die from someday I will be blamed for my death if it is related to my Diabetes which makes me angry. I will be blamed for a low blood sugar if I die and they list it as a complication which is not really true in my mind. A complication would Retinopathy or other issues but not a low blood sugar. I find it interesting how my family will also have to stomach a great deal of the blame as well because I will be viewed as some one who did not try because I have complications. I know they will have to answer these awful questions one day as well. I know I hate that Diabetic patient is blamed and shammed because of a Disease that has not guarantee's. People can die from so many things but the blame factor will always incredibly disturbed me because it give me no credit for trying or doing my best.

I guess I am just angry that no matter what we do as Diabetics this stigma seems to follow. Maybe some day we will get everyone educated enough to understand that Diabetes is difficult and not easy. I have had several run in recently with people who told me that Diabetes is simple and that I should test more and I would not need Duchess. I told them they were wrong and need to learn the facts before you confront strangers. I also explained that their is not guarantee's and everyone person Diabetes can vary. So there is nothing easy about Diabetes. I am hoping I don't have any more of these run in's but I know I will. I just hate dealing with the ignorance is bliss attitude from people.

Up Coming Visit

I am a little nervous I have an upcoming appointment with my Retina Specialist. It has been over six months since I last saw my Retina Specialist. I have had one or two small bleeds which were gone quickly. I have a feeling they will do some laser treatments which is fine. I know I feel like I have made such wonderful progress with my eyes that I only go every six months know which is a relief in the beginning I was going at two or three times in a month to get the bleeding under control. The best decision I ever made was firing my first Retina Specialist he did things not in the normal procedural ways but instead in ways he preferred. I have to say that getting my eyes lasered when laying back in a chair was torturous and extremely painful. I know that my Dr. using the standard method during the laser procedure helped him get control of the bleeds and I have been doing great since. I feel like I just need to stay on top of it and keep my blood sugars in control that I will not experience much difficulty.

I know when the Retinopathy started several years ago I was so scared but I have learned so much about myself and how I can handle difficult situations. The only thing I did not handle well was telling people that I have complications which I still struggle with. Their is so much judgement but I know realizing it does not matter how they view me but really what I am doing for my condition. The people who judge me have not walked the same path or most likely only know the information passed on by the media which is incorrect. I know I am extremely nervous about this appointment in particular but I know that is probably because I have not been in the office in half a year. I guess that worries me to an extent but I feel overall my eyes have been great my vision has been good and I feel overall things are going well with my eyes. I am not looking forward to my exam but that is putting up with a couple things that are over pretty quickly.

Feelings About Bad Lows

I know I have been thinking a great deal of interesting change for me personally. I know normally I live with the fears of lows constantly worrying when and if they show up. Recently I feel very it is what it is. I am not sure why but I am not scared I am just doing as much as I can by exercising and other things to prevent bad lows I feel like I am doing my best so I am not as fearful. I do worry about myself not being scared to death of this happening. I know fear wakes me up and seems to spur me into action but not having that as much now concerns me. I know at times I do feel differently about bad lows or lows in general.

I know with me having less of them recently it seems to create for me this sense of I got this when mostly likely I don't have it covered. Trying to prevent bad lows is something with Hypoglycemia Unawareness is extremely difficult and not easy. So I am really surprised I honestly feel this way when I know my past experiences. I also know living on edge because of fear is not good either. I just want a healthy balance of both. I know my most recent incident that ended me up in the emergency room has really not caused me to feel this overwhelming fear and embarrassment but instead I feel like this is just part of my life.

Lows have run my life for so long that I feel like I should feel more than I do right now but I feel very accomplished because I have found new ways to help prevent lows. I know as I continue to work on my lows that their is always risks running my Alc lower but I also know that I want to have a high quality of life. Getting more complications is what I am trying my best to avoid. I will always be scared of the next bad situation but I am over feeling bad about things happening. I am tired of apologizing because of my Diabetes and tired of the embarrassment that it can cause when lows arise. I feel like I need to realize that my Diabetes will always makes things difficult but I should not have to apologize when I know I have done the best I can. I am trying to come to grips with that not all lows can be prevented. I know I need to prepare myself for my next visit with my family. They always blame me for it happening when not all things can be prevented.

Struggling with Stress

I have been very fortunate over the past couple of weeks for the most part to of slept well even though things are getting stressful. Right now my stress is through the roof I have been working for months to get certain required documentation turned in. I am still chasing people but getting closer to being done. So I am trying to get through this period with as little issue as possible. Stress really can cause me chaos. So I have been doing well so far but this week the night time lows are driving me insane. I have reduced the basal rates for overnight everyday this week with not real results. I even lowered some and ran temp basals at the beginning of the night. I am hoping to get this taken care of tonight so I can sleep more at night. The Dexcom is driving me crazy because alarms every 20 minutes does not equal the ability to sleep during the night. I have not really increased my workouts this week in fact last night I did my normal and still more lows. I am hoping I can get things sorted out so that this coming weekend I can sleep instead of being woken up constantly.

I know even Duchess looks really worn out because of the Dexcom going off constantly. I know that once I am through this week my stress levels should drop slightly I will be extremely busy but not as much as in the past three years. I am really hoping to avoid bad lows and such this week. I have been running a little higher in the mornings and lower in the afternoon. The hard part is that adjustments do not work well when its stress related. So I am trying my best to just get through this last push and then I will be in better place to handle all the stress I am currently struggling with.

Conversations About Diabetes

I was going to get a pedicure on Saturday. I know some people say pedicures are bad but I do check out how the tools and chairs are cleaned and so forth to make sure it is done appropriately. This place uses disposable liners on the tubs of the chairs which is quite helpful as well. So I was waiting in line and picking out my color when a man approached to ask about Duchess. I think he said it must be wonderful having a helper. I said yes it does especially with my medical conditions. He asked what conditions are meaning. I mentioned she told me when I was low or high blood sugars and also knew before I would have seizures. So he mentioned his daughter was diagnosed as an adult with Type 1. So he asked more about Duchess. I told him about what she does and how she was trained. I know he was surprised by this. He had never heard of a Diabetic Alert dog before.

I sat down to start soaking my feet for a while. Next thing I know the gentleman was seated next to me he was getting a pedicure and his wife her nails done. We talked more about the latest Diabetes related studies. He told me as a parent he worried a great deal about his daughter. I know he mentioned she had anorexia at one point. I mentioned to him that is not uncommon for a Diabetic because we count and learn so much about nutrition that you can turn this information in you worst enemy of sorts. I know I had exercise anorexia. I would eat very little but would become overly obsessed with exercise. I know he mentioned that his daughter did much the same as me. I would exercise several times a day for several hours a day. Exercise is good but in moderation normally. So I do have to watch myself closely with going back to the gym regularly now.

Then we talked about CGM's and Insulin pumps. The interesting thing is that my person giving me a pedicure was a type 2 diabetic. So the conversation was all Diabetes. The man had never seen an insulin pump or CGM before. He thought pumps were in the body but I explained how it actually works. We talked about the Bionic Pancreas study and the latest study about encapsulated insulin cells. He said he had never learned so much. His daughter used shots but loved running so I was explaining how beneficial an insulin pump can be during events like these. I mentioned I am aiming to run a half marathon. I think he was surprised but impressed I was willing to work that hard. It was such a nice discussion between parents, type 1 and a type 2 diabetic. We all are waiting for the same thing a cure or better treatment options. I know it affects everyone in a family. I know it really does help when you have supportive members of your family being your cheer leading session. I also shared with them about the Diabetic online community as well.