Swings from High to Low and Back Again

             It has been a frustrating start to the week because since the end of last week I have had these crazy swings in blood sugar. I am running my basal at a 40 percent increase all day just to keep in some what of a normal range but everything goes out of control when I eat. I either drop quickly or have an incredibly fast rise. I am thinking this is relating to my vitamin B12 deficiency. I was told I had to wait till the end of the month before they will rerun the blood work and see where I am at. If I am not feeling better I will start B12 injections. Lack of B12 can cause insulin resistance in some diabetics. So I am trying my best to keep my self on track but I hate being over two hundred at all.  I have been pre-bolusing for meals as usual but that does not always stop the huge rise in blood sugars. I also have been trying everything I can to keep things in a stable form but at least I have the pump and the temp basals which right now is helping quite a bit. I am really glad on days like these that my pump site issues were some what resolved. My Dexcom has been great in that at least it is catching the quick rises in blood sugars that I have been having.

              I know all the crazy swings are not only hard on me but Duchess as well. I am trying my best to keep things as level as possible but I am can't wait till I can get this B12 deficency taken care of so I can go back to my old patterns which I am able to better manage than this.

Discussion with Friend Yesterday

                    I had a friend call me last night who I catch up with every couple of months. I know our schedules tend to be mirror opposites so we only tend to get together occasionally. She was talking with me about how different things are now from 5 years ago. She knew me when things were really falling apart and I was having so many lows that I feel really out of it at times. That is also the start of my journey to get Duchess. I was fortunate to of stumbled upon that information back then because I really question if I could hold a job with all the issues I was having back then. I know it was like my life stopped. She said it is just amazing how much freedom Duchess has given back to me. I couldn't agree more. I know the lows were so daunting that I was afraid to leave my house and get lost again. This happened a couple of times luckily I ended up being safe. I know I was following all the things my Dr.'s were suggesting but it was not working nor were they really listening to me. I know they hated the idea of a diabetic alert dog and thought a CGM would be better. It was back when they nothing like they are today and I thought it was worthless for me. I am glad that I was started back then to do what I thought was appropriate for my own safety and security. I know the Dr. back then did not want snacks when I was on the pump but we were constantly tweaking the settings and were just not there yet.

                       I gave the Dr.'s a couple weeks to figure out the pump setting but every time they did I had an EMS involved low so from then on I have been adjusting my own settings because honestly I am the one who has to live with the device 24-7. Needless to say when I started to take things into my own hands I found that my A1c was improving my amount of lows were reduced and I had things better controlled.
I know my friends and I discussed how my evolution into being my own advocate through  my experience and how I am ever more so now as a blogger. She says she can't believe how much I have changed through my journey. I know she says she wished more people worked as hard as I do. I know when she told me I was a hundred shades of red but I was flattered it was so very sweet of her to say. I am glad I am not where I was 5 years ago and I hoping to have even more improvements as I continue on.

Strange Things We Do When Low

                  I was having a conversation this weekend with a friend and we were discussing the crazy things you think and do during a low. For example shortly before I had a seizure last July I was talking about that my friend needed to turn in work to my supervisor. I still laugh at that one because they are not going to know who my supervisor is. I know they were talking about a time they were in college and they left everyday at 5:30 am to head to school they had a decent drive. He had taken a nap and then woke up and looked at the clock and called his friends to ask where he was because they were going to be late to school because he thought it was 6am.. It was actually 6pm and his friend had thought he had lost his mind. I know I had a low when I was 7 or 8 and my parents were getting ready to go out with friends. I had no idea I was low but I knew something felt off. So I started going through things that might cause things to be off. I thought that I had not changed the calendar in my room from the previous month was causing everything to be off. Then I thought everything was wrong because my room was not clean I know my mind can go to the strangest places when I am low. It took my  parents a while to see that I was low but I really glad they figured it out because I had no clue. In fact most of my life unless I was shaking most people are unable to tell I am low.

                    I know my friend also has people not really noticing when he is low which can be problematic for most diabetics. I know since my Hypoglycemia Unawareness diagnosis I think it has only become even more difficult to tell that I am low. I remember being 17 one afternoon and I was still working. I had no clue or sign I was low eventually I did start to show signs of being low but my coworker brought me a coke and everything was fine. I know I feel a little less crazy with people who understand the strange thought processes while you are low and crazy actions as well. I know my friend and I had a great laugh about some of the times we were low and the strange conversations we have had. I know I have had some interesting conversations over the years with EMS as well but I guess thats all part of being a diabetic. I know you have to have a sense of humor being diabetic because you can get into yourself into some awkward situations.

Not Thrilled about Upcoming D Anniversary

                   I have been thinking about my upcoming D anniversary of 33 years in May. I really can't believe it has been that long. At times it really does seem that long and longer but other times I am like wow it really has been that long. I have never been big on celebrating my D anniversary but I have noticed so many of the DOC who do. I guess because my family never made it a big things I guess I never have either. I do think there is a place for celebrating all your hard work and effort that has been put forth. I know I have gotten quite a bit of criticism over the past 5 years because I am not complication free like they are. I know I have seen on some forums that there are people who said they never took care of themselves and have no complications and people want to know what they did to achieve this, but look at me as a big failure who has nothing to add to discussions because I have complications. There is one guy I recall said he did not test his blood sugars for 10 years and he does now but things are still complications free. I find it funny even with effort I do get complications but others do not. I know how your body handles diabetes does play a part in if you are more likely to get complications early in.

                       I am not really thrilled with the fact that my 33 years D anniversary is coming up at all. I am not sure why I feel this way this year. Last year I was some what excited about that I had made it 32 years. This year I might try to do something fun to celebrate my D anniversary. I know on that day Duchess is taken to the dog bakery and given a big treat for all her work. I might as well do something for myself maybe a nice lunch with close friends who have been around me during the D experiences. I have not decided what I will do but maybe that will change my view of my upcoming D anniversary in May.


Also please take a moment to sign a petition below it is about getting standardized TSA screenings which we really need. I know everytime I fly it is different. This also asks for further training on diabetic devices. Please take a moment and sign.
https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/standardize-tsa-screenings-diabetic-persons-using-wearable-self-monitoring-medical-equipment/p8JFF1VL

So Easy to Blame One's Self For Bad Lows

                   I am trying today to keep myself looking forward. When I have yet another bad low I tend to blame myself and try to figure out what went wrong. Sometimes I do find things I should avoid doing and have learned some things along the way but yesterday's low there is nothing I think I could of done differently. The interesting things is that I have made no changes recently and there was nothing out of the ordinary the day before really that would of thrown things off. I do not tend to have a lot of late night lows but this one really threw me off because it was around 4:30 in the morning and normally my blood sugar starts to rise during this time period from my experience. If I am going to go low during the night is it usually between 2:30am and 3:30am. So this was quite strange and I did everything as I normally would even went to bed around my normal time. I have a feeling this is just one time I will not be able to figure out. I am okay with that but it can be frustrating. I am back to work today which is good.

                   So far my blood sugars have been good and no issues so far. Hoping things will stay quite on the diabetes front for a while. These low events can really wear me out after a while but I am so very thankful that I did not have a seizure but was just a low. Seizure patterns can take a while to break so a low is much better for me. The good part about this time is that Duchess alerting has not been affected which can happen after a bad low. It can be extremely stressful for DAD's when a salutation gets bad and other assistance is needed. I now Duchess seems to think she failed me and I have learned I have to stress to her that she did a a good regardless of what happens. She is her normal self and even sleep very close to me last night. I know she is on high alert all last night because of what happened. The bad part is that means she did not sleep much so it will be a really long day for Duchess.

Another Moment of Scariness

                  I start to come too and my roommate is helping back into bed. He is bring me juice but I want smarties. It seems to vary per low. I am still really foggy but I know this all too well. I was low. I see the bright orange container on my bed for glucagon shot. I must have been very out of it. Normally I leave the bedroom door open slightly so she can get help but the door was closed. I am not sure what transpired but my Dexcom read LOW from 4am to 6:30am. I don't remember my Dexcom going off at all. I know I could see the look of worry from my Roommate as he helped me but he had remembered everything I taught him. I know most people tend to freak out and forget but he was really calm. I am thankful that my roommate is so nice about it all. I know some people would be like that it is too much to deal with. This morning he told me that he thought I was such an incredibly strong woman who goes through so much. It was a very nice compliment from a very nice person who has done so much in my little emergencies as they happen.

                 Duchess was right next to me with the saddest look on her face. She really hates sever lows that are scary like this. My roommate told me that Duchess was so upset when he opened the door she almost ran into him. She was all over the place when they took out the glucagon kit.  It is such a sad statement that my Dog knows what the glucagon kit is. She has seen it used at work and at home. I know she has figured out that I get better once it is given but I also know on these times she feel like a complete failure. She was trying to alert but was locked in the room. I am going to be more careful in the future about that. She from my experience will go to my roommates room and scratch on the door. I will never say she is a failure because she has kept me safe so many times.

                  I am looking back over last night and yesterday for clues. It was a normal day except for a longer ride home on the bus. We had a bad storm come through. I did not do anything different. My Dexcom shows me cruising through the night at 126 from 11 to just before 4am. Then I bottom out around 4 am. I am not sure what I could of done differently. I did not change anything but as usual. I do not have a clue as to why this happened. I know I will be thinking about it because the scarier the event the more it clings to your thoughts and memories.

               

Evaluation of My Options

                     After all my issues with my Dexcom recently I am trying to think of some other options for night alerts. I am seriously looking into getting a dog that I can train for night alerts and let Duchess sleep more at night. She does alert but can miss some occasionally because honestly she works longs hours. I do not expect her to be able to do it all there is some dogs that do alert at night as Duchess did when I was in college but she has not done as well since I have been back to work. I know everyone else's experiences with the G4 has been great but they have not been the best at resolving the issues. I went to My CDE yesterday and they are going to ask Dexcom for a loaner receiver to make sure that is no the issue. I have thought that all along but Dexcom keeps insisting that there is nothing wrong with my receiver. I am hoping to resolve this issue but if not I will get a dog for night alerts and train them to be a back up dog and for night alerts. Plus I think Duchess would really enjoy having a friend who she could play with. I know dogs are pack animals and I'm sure she would love the company. I am not used to having a dog that would stay at home so there would be some adjustments. I have not made up my mind completely but I need to evaluate all my options to make sure I am well covered as far as my night alerts.

One Year Already

                      It really does not seem possible that a year ago I started blogging almost 5 days a week for a year. I started out a year ago with the plan to attempt to blog for a year and then see how I feel about it after a year. I was not sure if I could swing coming up with enough topics to blog that frequently about but I have found so many great things to discuss and to tell my story. I know when I was diagnosed with Hypoglycemia Unawareness I could not find any stories online about it and that scared me because everything my Dr. was trying was not working for me. I was reading studies, reading books but I was not getting what I needed. I know after getting Duchess I knew I had to share my story to give others more information and hope. I felt incredibly hopeless at times through my journey and it was so scary. I know finding Duchess and making certain changes has helped shape my Hypoglycemia Unawareness into a manageable thing with moments of scary. I don't think I will always avoid seizures but I am still going to try.

                       It really has changed my life in so many ways especially since I don't carry as much weight on my shoulders because I am able to share the good, the bad and the ugly. I know I have also found other blogs and other stories which I really enjoy as well. The overall experience of writing my blog has changed how I manage  my diabetes in many ways as well. I feel more empowered and stronger because of it all. There is so many things I have experienced because I have been blogging. I have been able to talk on forums, write letters, educate others and many other great opportunities. I have changed my life dramatically in a really wonderful way. I still am honored that people take the time to read about my life with Duchess and our adventures.