The Healthcare Experience

Diabetes Blog Week; Most people who live with a chronic illness end up with a lot of experience when it comes to dealing with healthcare. How would you improve or change your healthcare experience? What would you like to see happening during medical visits with your healthcare team? How about when dealing with your health insurance companies? What's your Healthcare Wish List or Biggest Frustration? Today is the day to share it all!

I know I wish all my purchasing of a new insulin pump was this easy. I started a five day trial of the Tandem Tslim with insulin actually before I decided to buy the pump. I am going with the G4 model which has the CGM as part of the pump similar to my Animas Vibe. I know I love my Animas Ping but the Vibe had so many screens to go through to do simple things. I love the fact that the Tslim G4 and Tslim have such an easy way to enter the carbs you are eating , your blood sugar and if you need a correction all in one screen. I am terrible about inputting my numbers into the Vibe. I know I was so used to having the ping sinked up that the blood sugars were already there no entry needed. 

I have to say I fell in love with the touch screen and the colors on the display are nice. I love the fact that I noticed when I was on the Tslim my numbers were actually better than when I was on the Vibe keep in mind I only was able to test the pump for 5 days. I know I am looking forward to the ease of use with this new pump. I know I loved the Vibe at first but at times the pump was just too much. So I was really pleased the placed the order for the pump last Friday and I will receive it tomorrow. This is the by far the quickest delivery I have ever had. I also was pleased that my insurance made the process so easy. I have to say the Tandem representative was great she was able to let me test drive the pump with insulin and helped me in getting the process started. I know I could not be more excited about starting my new pump tomorrow.

I have also had my share of  challenges a well. I know when I got new insurance after my new job in December. I had a difficult time getting to see the Retina Specialist. Normally they want you to see the Optomologist first then get referred but who's kidding after several years of Diabetic Retinopathy we all know I need to see the Retina Specialist not an eye Dr. I did win and I was able to go straight to the Retina Specialist but it tooks seven or eight phone calls to get this done.

I know on my old insurance plan I had to fight to get enough test strips and I also had to fight to get Novolog Insulin as well. I know if I use Humalog I bleed through my infusion sets with in hours of insertion. I know I can't ever use Humalog again but I am always worried about them no longer covering the one insulin I can actually use. It seems no matter what insurance company you have there is always issues. I know my new plan does not like to give me enough test strips thankfully I still can get the One touch test strips I use with no issue but it has taken my Dr. sending in sever request to the pharmacy to finally get some what closer to what I normally get. I know thankfully my new insurance does some things quite well but other things not so much. I have decided to just consider it part of the experience and continue to work at keeping the supplies I need available but it seems each year I am fighting harder and harder to keep the devices I need.

Language and Diabetes

Diabetes Blog Week Post:  Language and Diabetes - Wednesday 5/18 Link List.
There is an old saying that states “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”. I'm willing to bet we've all disagreed with this at some point, and especially when it comes to diabetes. Many advocate for the importance of using non-stigmatizing, inclusive and non-judgmental language when speaking about or to people with diabetes. For some, they don't care, others care passionately. Where do you stand when it comes to “person with diabetes” versus “diabetic”, or “checking” blood sugar versus “testing”, or any of the tons of other examples? Let's explore the power of words, but please remember to keep things respectful.

I have never been overly sensitive about what you call testing or checking your blood sugar. I have never really cared much about how it pronounced either but I think that is mostly due to the fact that I have had Type 1 Diabetes for 36 years this month. I know I find that the longer I have it the less sensitive in many ways I am about it. The part that does get me in an uproar is when they give out incorrect information about Diabetes. I am extremely sensitive about how they word and how they write about complications. I know people who have complication who have tried and they did the best they could but there is no guarantees when it comes to Diabetes.

 I know I work just as hard as anyone else does but when I walk into a Dr.'s office they automatically at time will label you as uncompliant or assume you don't work at keeping you numbers in a decent range. I know we all have stories and experiences. I hate the word uncompliant more than any other word associated with Diabetes. It to me as the patient not want to try our hardest because our own physician does not even had the confidence in our ability to handle our condition.

I know the word uncompliant has shown up in my medical records even thought I tested frequently had an in range Alc , logged my numbers, counted carbs and used a Dexcom CGM. I know the word uncompliant should never be used to describe a patient. I know patients do read them and also other physicians and medical personnel do as well. So it really sets a patient up for failure by using such a word that has so much bad associated with the that word. I am sure the Dr. see that term and makes assumptions that might be very untrue an could affect you treatment as the patient.

I know we sadly only see Dr.'s for several minutes each visit so when a new physician sees you they may not offer options they offer to what they would consider a compliant patient or they might feel like they are wasting there time on you as the patient. I know my last Endocrinologist did list me as a compliant patient which was wonderful to see because I do work so hard. I do get mad when just because you have a complication you are automatically considered uncompliant. This set your relationship with the Dr. up for failure because they have not taken the time to find out your story or your background. I wish Dr. would never use the term when referring to any patient in the future. It does not help the Dr. or the patient.

The Other Half of Diabetes

Diabetes Blog Week Post: Click for the The Other Half of Diabetes - Tuesday 5/17 Link List.
We think a lot about the physical component of diabetes, but the mental component is just as significant. How does diabetes affect you or your loved one mentally or emotionally? How have you learned to deal with the mental aspect of the condition? Any tips, positive phrases, mantras, or ideas to share on getting out of a diabetes funk? (If you are a caregiver to a person with diabetes, write about yourself or your loved one or both!)


I know each Diabetic seems to have there only ways to deal with their Diabetes. I know I tend to go overboard with it all but John my boyfriend manages his differently he is very laid back about dealing with the stress of it all while I am a control freak when it comes to my Diabetes. I know at times during lows it can be difficult to see John attacking everything in the fridge that is not nailed down. I know he had just over treated the low by a large amount and that the roller coaster effect will be starting soon. I try not to judge because I have had my moments too but at times I have to remind myself what it is like to have that feeling of never ending hunger for food while low. Since I have Hypoglycemia Unawareness I tend to get not warning and not extreme need to eat or a fast beating heart. Instead I am able to treat my low with no fear of anything even if my blood sugar is really low. I know I have forgotten in someways what the feeling was like. I know I try my best to not say anything to John but instead try to get him to eat a little less food to reduce the roller coaster affect.

It can be so easy to get wrapped up in your numbers at any given time and forget that you are not the only Diabetic in the household. I know I handle my stress with my Diabetes by blogging and John just keeps busy with other things and that works for him. I know to make sure I am not over stepping my bounds I have found that leaving the decision up to him and if he is struggling still then offering help. I know I have learned so much from all the bloggers in the community and I love to share what I have learned but sometimes other Diabetics don't want to know this neat trick you know. I know with John most of the time if I let him ask me it gives us both the space to figure out things. No matter what way we deal with the hard days the important part is that we are giving it our best shot. I know he has his way and I have my way. I know my crazy wonky ways of dealing with things can drive him crazy but other times he loves the little things I do. Like he steals my Bard wipes to help keep the Dexcom sensors attached and loves the Opsite Flexfix that I use to keep them attached even longer.

I know we all have our tough moments so at times it is good to see how another deals with issues and learn some things. I know I tend to be so hard on myself and John is teaching me in his own way that I need to be more forgiving with myself because at the end of the day we are all still human and we make mistakes. I know I try my hardest to support him even when I disagree with how he is handling things but at the end of the day it just works for him. I know I have learned so much about what works for me but also an appreciation for other ideas that have the same results at the end. I know I have struggled at time with my Diabetes and especially with 

Message Monday

Today’s topic is Message Monday.  Lets kick off the week by talking about why we are here, in the diabetes blog space. What is the most important diabetes awareness message to you? Why is that message important for you, and what are you trying to accomplish by sharing it on your blog? (Thank you, Heather Gabel, for this topic suggestion.)

I guess my blogging journey began once I got Hypoglycemia Unawareness eight years ago. I know right after I had a bad low while driving I knew I was in over my head. I scared and I needed advice. I searched for studies and I looked for blogs about losing the feelings of low blood sugars. I did find one article about a year with a similar story to mine where she could no longer feel lows and so she found a trainer that trained Diabetic alert dogs. I know continued to search and look for any information on the subject and to find another person experiencing the scary moments of waking up to EMS several times. I know for me I noticed there was very few blogs about complications. 

I know I was so busy during that time writing a blog felt like an overwhelming thing to be doing until I started to figure out how to get my life back on track. I know I will never forget how alone I felt and how terrified I was to be going through it alone. My mother the only Diabetic I had know had passed away just before my diagnosis of unawareness. So I know I never wanted anyone else to feel the way I felt. I knew I needed to blog about my experiences to help others struggling with the same issue to know they are not alone. I know I have never been afraid to share the difficult parts. I know I wish people did not view others so harshly for having complications. I know I have experienced so much of that from Dr.'s , nurses and even other Diabetics. I know complications are scary but I have also found that they can be managed. I do spend a great deal of time making sure I manage things tightly. 

I know when Diabetic Retinopathy showed up I knew I would be fine but I needed to keep my diabetes well controlled as possible. I also recently found out that there is also complications from too tightly controlled Diabetes. I know I have not had high blood sugars often and I rarely ever go above 180. So I know I was shocked when I got Diabetic frozen shoulder. So I learned that even having dramatic drops to low blood sugars could also contribute to complications as well. So I know through the past several years that I have loved sharing the good, the bad and the ugly with you all.

 I will continue to share my journey because I think we all need someone who experiencing the same struggles as others. It makes the tough journey a little less stressful. I also have to say I have meet some of the most wonderful people who are bloggers. I know I have been so bad with blogging I am hoping this blog week will get me back to more frequent blogging again. I know complications are scary and I know I  never wanted to have complications but I also want people to know I still live my life to the fullest but just with modifications. Life is still wonderful but with quite a few extra obstacles but I know I can now say I am really getting better at solving difficult problems because I have faced so many weird situations. 

I know I have some new things to share about my Diabetic frozen shoulder over the next couple of months. I am hoping at the end of the day that I have at least helped one person be less afraid or at least made them laugh at my adventures with Duchess. I know some times laughing can be the best medicine or just relating to another experiencing a similar situation you can relate too. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. 

Surprising Issues and No Real Answers

The past couple of weeks have been dealing with issues. I know Duchess had been having issues running into furniture and other items at home after we moved them. I know my local vet said she could see some slight retinal changes in her left eye. So I had scheduled an appointment at UC Davis Veterinary hospital in Davis California. Which thankfully is not too far from my home. So I anxious for several weeks and all I knew before my appointment is that I wanted more information. I know there is two conditions that a dog could suffer from that can cause permanent blindness. So as I waited several weeks for her appointment to arrive. I know since Duchess is my whole world it was extremely difficult. I know with my frozen shoulder I was also dealing with complete frustration over dealing with my daily exercises which I am truly struggling to keep up with.

I know the day I was driving to UC Davis my stomach was upset and I was extremely nervous. I know I was extremely worried but unsure what would happen. So I saw the student and then meet with the professor who started with basic tests. I know they said the noticed the same thing that my local veterinarian noticed. There was changes in her left eye. So they needed to run further test which would require me to leave her there for several hours. I know I was pretty upset to leave her there but I knew they needed to do further tests. I knew if the test was negative she would need to see the neurologist as well. So I went back to UC Davis to check back in and see the results. The student came out and told me that the test was negative so she was being transferred to the neurologist to make sure there was no tumor or other issue from the eyes to the brain. So I was on my own again and thankfully my blood sugars were cooperating through the time without here but since I am rarely ever without Duchess it really make me feel so incredibly vulnerable in many ways that I had since forgotten about. Having Duchess has really given me so much freedom from the constant worrying. That day was such a reminder of how blessed I am.

I waited in the waiting room to hear back from the Vet. So they finally call me back. As I was waiting they finally brought me back Duchess who was so overjoyed to see me again. I know I truly felt the same. After all the waiting all they could determine is she has really early signs of retinal degeneration which means changes in her retina but since I found it so early they could not determine the cause. They did discover that Duchess also has neurological changes in her left eye as well. She does not blink or have normal reaction in that eye. So she is seeing pretty well from what they are saying but I know most of the time the incidents happened when it was dark. They also said her left hind leg which she had injured over two years ago had neurological changes as well. Which that I was not surprised by. So after talking with the vet they could not figure out the cause of the running into item completely and they were unable to explain why she was eating and drinking more water. She also had some other small things going on as well.

I know after they told me I was angry because after hours of being there all day all I had was more questions and not one answer. So now I am documenting any changes in her sight such as recording dates times and other issues in order to help figure out the issue. I know I am watching Duchess very carefully but it also is a reminder that how fast the time is going. In August we have been a team for 6 years. I know I feel lucky each and every day I get to have her as my service dog and my best friend. I know now I am looking at finding and planning on when and how I will get my next service dog. I know how the scent training works so looking at getting a dog who does not make it to being a guide dog is what I might look for in fact John meet a guy from the local Guide dog organization and told him they would love to find a dog that could be trained to alert me to low and high blood sugars. So I considering that and I know I can use what knowledge I do have to help. I also know so many that I know It won't be that difficult to get them trained with having Duchess around. I know I am hoping that day does not come soon but I must realize Duchess is really not young anymore. She considered a senior according to the vet. So preparing for changes to made in the next couple of years as she ages. I know one day she will have to retire but I am really hoping that is some time from now.

Twenty Four Hours- How Fast Your Life Can Change

I know with all the changes in my life things really seemed to be going so well. I know a couple weeks ago I was going to leave the house to go grocery shopping with Duchess. I getting ready to walk out the door. Then Duchess was heading to the left when I turned back to turn the lock on the handle before I left. Something startle Duchess and she pulled and I ran into the door with my shoulder. I dropped my purse and the leash. I had to go sit down because my shoulder hurt so badly. I know I sat on the couch for an hour before I got up to try and go to the store again. I know my shoulder hurt for a while and I iced it and hoped that would take care of the injury. I know over the next couple of weeks the pain in my shoulder seemed to increase. I know I was having trouble at night sleeping. In fact one night I rolled over and there was a big pop sound from my shoulder. I know I had issues being able to put my hand behind my back on the left side. I was thinking at first maybe I pulled something or irritated something. I decided then I needed to schedule an appointment but because of my job I try to schedule only in early morning or late afternoon to avoid missing much work. So I scheduled an appointment but it would be several days before I could get in due to trying follow the times my work prefers.

I also had noticed when I was having shoulder issues that Duchess seemed off. I know when I hurt my shoulder I thought it was odd because normally that would never happen. I know we were doing some changing at our Condo so we moved some furniture around. I noticed after we did this that Duchess started running into things. I know one morning I was in the bedroom getting ready for work and I heard a really awful yelp from Duchess. I run out of the bedroom and she had run into a table. I know I was concerned as it happened some more. I started to write down her symptoms such as she seemed to get antsy when it came time to feed her. In fact I know today I have to make sure she is in the room when I pour her food in the bowl so she knows its there. At times she dances around like she does not see her food. So I decided to schedule an vet appointment. So first came my appointment with a Physician who thought I should wait. If it did not improve I should then go to Physical therapy because my arm had limited movement.

So Duchess vet appointment came first then my Physical therapy visit. I took Duchess into her new vet's and was pleased with how incredible the veterinarian dealt with Duchess. She handled her so well and made us all at ease. I know we told her about the increased thirst, increased appetite, running into objects, passing around once feed and other symptoms. So she got out her light and looked at Duchess eyes. She noticed some things so she got another device out to look again. Sure enough there is currently retinal changes in her eyes. At this time I don't know what that means for Duchess until she see's the Ophthalmologist in a week and a half. I know I was relieved that we were addressing the issue but I was incredibly troubled by what the veterinarian was telling me. I know I had some dread coming up with the appointment. So I know I was beyond stressed because Duchess had been my DAD for almost six years. I know she is my best friend and I am nervous what this can me for her health. I know I am hoping for the best but I guess I will know soon.

So the next morning at 7:30 am bright and early I went to meet my Physical therapist for the first time. I knew the would evaluate me and my movement of my left shoulder. I know I already had a bad feeling that I had Diabetic frozen shoulder. I know John and I had discussed it several days before this appointment that I thought it could be that. I know the Physical therapist did her exam and I was really in a great deal of pain. At we were able to discuss my exam. She told me I had Diabetic frozen shoulder. I know then she told me the fastest way to get to what they call the thaw faze is usually an inter-articular join injection. I know she was referring me to an orthopedist to get the injection done. At this point I was like great a cortisone injection into my joint in my shoulder.
It really hit me hard as I was rushing back to my office I had Diabetic frozen shoulder. There goes my plans of doing my AFF sky diving training this year. I know I can't even put my arm behind my back on my left side, I was really hit with how much this is going to affect my life. I also was advised no heavy lifting which I should be able to lift around 50 lbs on occasion at my job. I know I was really upset and I know I was even more frustrated with the fact that the prescribed injection might not work.

Would They Cover It or Not

I know with the move to California meant getting new Physicians. I know I was so nervous my first visit with my family practice doctor at Kaiser Permanente. I know I ended up really liking the physician I ended up getting. She listens well and has helped me to navigate how Kaiser works. I know I am so used to having a health plan where I don't need referrals to see a doctor. I know the appointment that has made the most nervous so far was my visit with the Endocrinologist. I was so incredibly blessed to have had my old PA Amy who is my favorite physician I have ever worked with. I know I also had heard things about Kaiser not covering Dexcom sensors or CGMS in general except for certain patients who meet a special criteria. I know I have used the Dexcom for three years now and I don't know what I would do without it. Duchess does not alert at night so that leaves me incredibly vulnerable at night. So I was really scared that the new Endocrinologist would not give me the prescription for more Dexcom sensors.

When I went to my appointment I only had 3 Dexcom sensors left. I know John and I discussed that I would have to pay out of pocket worst case scenario for the sensors. I know that I needed the support during the appointment. I know when I meet him he was not a fan of how low my Alc is but I honestly don't work hard to get all my lows in general I tend to go regardless even when trying to run higher at times. I was surprised when the Endocrinologist asked for the list of supplies I needed he agreed immediately to put in a request of refills on my Dexcom sensors. I know the Endocrinologist made quite a few changes to my pump settings and wanted me to see the CDE. I know they wanted the CDE to assist me with looking at my numbers and Dexcom graphs monthly to help reduce the number of bad lows. I know after the recent seizures I was not surprised by this. I know I will only see the Endocrinologist twice a year through Kaiser. I also was really surprised that the Endocrinologist agreed to let me make the changes to my pump or discuss them before we make changes. I like to be treated like an adult and not a child when it comes to my health care.

Overall I was really pleasantly surprised by the Endocrinologist and was happy that he treated me with respect that I need in a physician. I know I feel like I was happy with my family practice Dr.'s referral and like that they listen to me as the patient. I know my Diabetes can be difficult to manage but I am happy that I do like my Dr. so far. I know my CDE was really great as well and she listens when I explain why I do things in a certain manner. She has very helpful and I hope that I will continue to work well with her. I know honestly getting my Dexcom supplies so quickly and not having to much except call was so nice. I know I was not sure if the different type of health plan would work for me but it really has been really good so far. I know I feel silly being incredibly stressed about being able to get the Dexcom Sensors. The best part is that John like my Endocrinologist now he is going to see him as well. 

I Wish They All Could be Prevented

I am sorry for all the delays on the blog. I know starting a new job really requires a great deal of my time making sure I am learning as quickly as I can.  Sadly several things have happened since I last blogged. I had several seizures. The seizures one I think could of been prevented if only we had listened to Duchess. I know I had several lows that day and I was on a machine that massages my back so I was taking my turn on the machine when Duchess started to freak out. Once I was done I did test immediately and I did treat the low. So then John and I were headed to go get dinner and we were really close to the restaurant when I started to seize in the car. Thankfully we were right next to a parking lot where John had pulled in. Right before the seizure I had three different errors on my insulin pump. So I decided to take care of the pump not primed issue by changing the tubing. I was in the car trying to take of that issue when I started to seize. This seizure I felt everything as it was happening.  When I first treated the low I was 48. So I thought I was good until we got to the restaurant and all the pump errors distracted me from treating the low with more glucose tabs or other things.

I know now it is imperative when she does alert to check even if not convenient normally I do really well at doing so normally. It is always a good reminder to follow your normal routine especially when it comes to lows. So instead of going to a restaurant for dinner we decided that I needed something quickly to keep my blood sugar up after the glucagon injection. Thankfully I have been seizure free but some major issues have showed up within a 24 hour period of time which I will share tomorrow. I know all the change in my life it can be difficult to decide where to start.

I know my second seizure was two days later in the morning hours on a work day. I know  there was nothing I could have done differently dealing with my Dawn Phenomenon at times is the most difficult for me and always has been. I know I tend to take more basal overnight than I do in the day. I know most nights I get my blood sugars jump up around 2 am most mornings. It it seems it will continue to be a challenge. I know I am trying to keep my stress down and other things to help me deal with the seizures. So I am now at a point where I have been seizure free for a couple of weeks so far. I am trying to keep things simple at this point. Thankfully I have been able to keep my lows to a lower number which is helping.

Interesting First Week

Things at my new work have been going great so far but I can already see some interesting challenges ahead. I am brand new and a person is already leaving the department. I have a feeling it was related to issues with another department and nothing internal. Right now the University is shuffling departments around internally so I have a feeling this person leaving was related to that recent changes. I know my department has various new team members which is great for me because they have done so much for me so far. I know this time I got asked for what office supplies I wanted and they actually arrived today at my office. It was really nice not to have to wait six months on the job before being asked what I needed. I am not sure what the other person leaving will impact me but I have a feeling because I have experience in the area this person had that could mean that I would get a promotion but honestly I am really liking the section I am in right now.

The best parts of my new job is that I work in a house and my desk is right by the back door which has access to the back yard. So it makes it ideal when having to take Duchess out. I know I also work right next to the kitchen which is ideal for storing extra food and the fridge is right there. So I can store my extra supplies and juice boxes. I know I previously at my old job had to request a fridge but this time I don't need to ask for any accommodation because the house is really ideal for Duchess. Honestly Duchess loves that at lunch I can take her outside and play in the yard. Also last Friday my coworker and I played soccer with Duchess and she was incredibly happy. She really loved her new work location but also seems to love how homey the house is. I know I can take my lunch break in the living room and also relax for an hour. My boss has a policy that no lunch break is skipped. So we have to have lunches which equal happier staff. So I also have to say that my boss is incredible.

She is familiar with service dog do's and don't s.  She also has been great in helping take on some issues that have come up. I know my position helps three other sections out in doing tasks but they have been sending tasks without asking my boss first so that she can review it. She wants to give me time to adjust and also finish all my training as well. She also is working on sending out a message to all staff about not petting service dogs etc. to educate everyone. Which takes the stress off me which is very helpful. I know she has been great and I know I am really starting to see peoples true colors after being there over a week. I know who I can trust and who I can't so far. I know I am learning so much and I feel like my supervisor works very hard to make sure I am not taken advantage of which I really appreciate. I know I am learning so much and I feel that this job will be what I needed. I knew I wanted to do something else and it really is very different. I know my skills in this position could open more doors for me personally. I know I feel very comfortable with my one coworker and boss.

I know I am looking forward to see what happens next. I am really enjoying the fact that my job in general is less stressful than my previous positions. Hoping that will help me to have a happy and healthier life. I know my move to California was for several reasons but I also know how much my work was deterioration my health so making changes that seem to have made me very happy so far. I am hoping for many more great things. I know I am blessed to have the ability to make the changes I needed in my life. I know my boyfriend John is so happy that I moved and I know I feel the same. Life is really great because I feel like I am not stuck in a rut. I know my diabetes has been really starting to smooth out in general. So I am hoping I can keep it that way.

Interesting First Week

Things at my new work have been going great so far but I can already see some interesting challenges ahead. I am brand new and a person is already leaving the department. I have a feeling it was related to issues with another department and nothing internal. Right now the University is shuffling departments around internally so I have a feeling this person leaving was related to that recent changes. I know my department has various new team members which is great for me because they have done so much for me so far. I know this time I got asked for what office supplies I wanted and they actually arrived today at my office. It was really nice not to have to wait six months on the job before being asked what I needed. I am not sure what the other person leaving will impact me but I have a feeling because I have experience in the area this person had that could mean that I would get a promotion but honestly I am really liking the section I am in right now.

The best parts of my new job is that I work in a house and my desk is right by the back door which has access to the back yard. So it makes it ideal when having to take Duchess out. I know I also work right next to the kitchen which is ideal for storing extra food and the fridge is right there. So I can store my extra supplies and juice boxes. I know I previously at my old job had to request a fridge but this time I don't need to ask for any accommodation because the house is really ideal for Duchess. Honestly Duchess loves that at lunch I can take her outside and play in the yard. Also last Friday my coworker and I played soccer with Duchess and she was incredibly happy. She really loved her new work location but also seems to love how homey the house is. I know I can take my lunch break in the living room and also relax for an hour. My boss has a policy that no lunch break is skipped. So we have to have lunches which equal happier staff. So I also have to say that my boss is incredible.

She is familiar with service dog do's and don't s.  She also has been great in helping take on some issues that have come up. I know my position helps three other sections out in doing tasks but they have been sending tasks without asking my boss first so that she can review it. She wants to give me time to adjust and also finish all my training as well. She also is working on sending out a message to all staff about not petting service dogs etc. to educate everyone. Which takes the stress off me which is very helpful. I know she has been great and I know I am really starting to see peoples true colors after being there over a week. I know who I can trust and who I can't so far. I know I am learning so much and I feel like my supervisor works very hard to make sure I am not taken advantage of which I really appreciate. I know I am learning so much and I feel that this job will be what I needed. I knew I wanted to do something else and it really is very different. I know my skills in this position could open more doors for me personally. I know I feel very comfortable with my one coworker and boss.

I know I am looking forward to see what happens next. I am really enjoying the fact that my job in general is less stressful than my previous positions. Hoping that will help me to have a happy and healthier life. I know my move to California was for several reasons but I also know how much my work was deterioration my health so making changes that seem to have made me very happy so far. I am hoping for many more great things. I know I am blessed to have the ability to make the changes I needed in my life. I know my boyfriend John is so happy that I moved and I know I feel the same. Life is really great because I feel like I am not stuck in a rut. I know my diabetes has been really starting to smooth out in general. So I am hoping I can keep it that way.

First Day

I am really looking forward to my first day at my new job. I am thrilled to be able to be working again. I know it has so hard to not be working and just applying for jobs for quite a while. It has been a very rough road as far as job hunting but I am pleased in the end that I got the job that I wanted initially when I applied back in September. I know I will have so much to learn but the group of people I meet all seems so wonderful and helpful. I know the person who did the job previously and was promoted will be working right next to me so I can easily ask questions which will make the job easier in that way. I know after the one company I was going to do the temp to permanent position made me really weary of things but I know I need to start fresh. So I am going to go to work with an open mind and hopeful that things will be wonderful in my new position.

I am excited in some ways because I can use lessons learned from my previous job to help avoid some pitfalls of having Duchess at work. I am most of all hoping that people give me a chance to prove that I can do the job and that I am able to do anything everyone else is able to. I know it would seem like that would be a given but I have found that is not always the case but I am very optimistic things will be good. I know I was pleased that the University I will be working for handled the disability requests quite well so I am hopeful. I know each place is different and I know a fresh start is really what I need. I guess I will know tomorrow and more this week how things will go. I am hoping they are open minded and understand I am just as capable as any other person. My blood sugars have been better past couple of weeks and so I am hoping with a slight temporary basal rate during the first couple of weeks will allow me to have less lows and hopefully be able to learn all the things I need to learn. The good part is that I know I will be getting a week paid time off at Christmas similar to what I got at my last job. So I will get some down time right after starting which is really nice.

I know I am hoping Duchess is ready for all the change. She really handled the temp assignments I did at a hospice organization in October and November. I know she will love meeting all the new people and most of all I think she will be happier to be back to work as I am. Except I honestly think she loves staying home because she can run around the house but I know she will enjoy in some ways getting back to our routine of sorts. I know I am excited and a little nervous even though I know I will be fine.

Follow Up on Job Offers

It has been an interesting job hunt to say the least. I did finally finish getting all the required documents for my disability accommodations which are basically bringing Duchess to work turned into human resources today which was a relief. I know I won't be able to start my job until all the paper work was submitted in a timely manner. I did have issues getting my old Dr.'s office to sign the paper work though so it has been a great deal of hoops to jump through to get to this point today. I did finally hear back from the other job offer I had accepted on Friday afternoon. They sent me an email saying to start on a set date and time but they had a little note at the bottom. The position was originally for a temporary to permanent position. I would have been temporary for around three months. I know the email stated the clients had decided to hire their own Administrative Assistant internally. The position would now only be a temporary position until they found an acceptable person for the job.

I know I am still really angry that people the minute they hear I have a service dog the run. I know my new position at a state job was very accepting of the law and just had me fill out the proper paper work. They said I would need to meet with them when I start to discuss accommodations but other than that I am all set for the my first day on the job. It is insulting because I have a great deal of success as an administrative assistant or associate positions. I know I even took tests for the temp agency and did really well but funny how when you need accommodations they want nothing to do with you and want to back out of the job offer if they could legally get away with it. I did rather enjoy emailing them temp agency back on Friday saying that I had accepted a full time job offer with another company. I know this temporary agency should have been more careful. They were trying to change the position they offered after the original offer was agreed upon. I am sure they sought legal advice on how to handle this so the client did not have to have me as an employee. I know I was over joyed to turn down the job offer once they started to change the offer around.

I know I have a great deal of service dog teams that do not work and I know why. It is was really a slap in the face how so person can disregard years of experience because you have a disability and treat you like you have no value. I know my job at the University of Texas was never easy but I always got the job done. So I find it very hard to deal with how belittled I felt after this experience. I know I am glad I found a place that is really happy to welcome me to the team with my disability. I am hoping I see more of that in the future but I know after this experience I plan on staying with my new University for many years to come because having a service dog and going through this process again would be incredibly difficult to handle. I know I am extremely happy with my decision to move but I forgot how hard it would be to handle the disability related paper work, forms and questions.

I know I would not have handled all the stress or difficulties I faced this time without John. He really has been a great helping me to watch Duchess while I interviewed and helping me practice for interviews as well. I know I did not always handle my stress as well as I would have liked but thankfully I am done with that part of the process. I know with all the extra steps I have to handle after accepting a job offer it feels like a great deal of work. Normally they want this paper work same day or next day at latest. So it is a great deal of time talking to nurses and scrambling to get things faxed to my new employer. I know why a great deal of service dog teams don't work and most of the reason I am finding is not the disabled person but rather the employers in a great deal of cases. It makes me incredibly sad to be even saying that. I was hopeful that my experience would have been positive instead of such a negative experience. I know we still have a great deal of a ways to go when it comes to dealing with disabilities in the workplace.

Interesting Job Hunt and the Leassons Learned

Things have been such a whirl wind and I have not blogged as I would have liked. I have been so busy working on getting a job it was just too much to keep up with these days. I normally love to blog during November but this year it just didn't happen. I did get a job offer and I was supposed to start the job today but I never heard back from the staffing company after I submitted a Dr.'s note about my need for an accommodation at work so I can bring Duchess with me. I know the federal laws but the request by the company was not very nice. I know our email exchanged she expected me to have a Dr.'s note ready once I told her about my need to have Duchess. I know in Texas my job requested me to release some medical records to the Disability department. I signed the paper work so the school could get the records I stared a day later. I know the process was easy. Sadly since I had never been asked for a Dr.'s note I was not prepared but thankfully my Dr.'s office was able to get one written the day I called then I had them fax it to the company. I heard back from the staffing agency for the temporary to permanent position I was hired for that they were waiting to hear back from the company.  I heard nothing from them today so I assume they are trying to get out of trying to hire me at this point is my assumption.

I know during all of this time I was called back for a second interview at a job I really wanted. I found out today and accepted the position at a local University in the area. I know because the position is a state job I won't really have any issues being able to take Duchess with me to work. So I am relieved that I don't have to go through the situation I was with the other job I accepted a position with. I am waiting to see if I ever hear back from them or what their response will be. I am curious to find out what they will say next. I know after my current job hunting experience I am thinking the disability laws leave a great deal to be desired. I know the only way I can compete is to not disclose my disability because of the assumptions people make. It is sad reality in this country how bad they treat the disable who are trying to be productive citizens who just want to work.

I know once I tell someone about my disability they have complete meltdowns most of the time and then they get angry if you don't know in advance what documentation they will want. I can see why a great deal of people in this country with disabilities don't work because they make you jump through so many hoops to just be able to start a job. I am glad they improved the disability laws several years back but there is so many loop holes that make it easy to discriminate against a disable individual. I know I have just as much to offer as any healthy person. I just wish they would not make such harsh judgements about me before they even see my work. I know I do tend to stay in jobs longer now because of the difficulty with getting new jobs. I am really hoping that my new department will still welcome me with the same enthusiasm as any other employee after all I am still human. I know my disability does not deter my abilities just wish more people understood that.

Increased Alerting After the Move

I know with all the recent changes in Duchess's life I was really worried that her alerting would be affected by all these changes. I really happy to say that Duchess is actually alerting even better now than she was before the move.  Duchess has always been great at alerting but now she seems much happier about life in general. I know things have been incredibly busy with the move, job hunting and just unpacking. I know I was also worried that with having two diabetics around might be tough for her but she seems to take it all in stride. I know having two of us around does not seem to bother her at all. I know she does tend to alert to John when my blood sugars are off for good reason I am sure. I know most of the time if she does alert I do test and take care of it but I also know there was times when I am too far gone to respond to her alerts. I am thankful that she loves her new home and loves our new life. She seems generally more relaxed and happy now.

                                                        

I know Duchess has some separation anxiety which I am trying to work on but when I am going to interviews she freaks out. I know John is with her but she generally is so worried about me but I do run my blood sugars higher during interviews to avoid the CGM alarming and also so I can just concentrate on getting the job instead of worrying if I am going to go low.  I know it has been hard on Duchess waiting for me while I am in interviews but it does seem to help her. I know we have found that if John takes here vest off while I am gone she calms down and relaxes. Once I get back in the car we put her vest back on and she is back to work again. I know Duchess has some interesting needs when I am away but at least it seems to help lessen her separation anxiety. Some days she does wonderful when I am gone to get the mail or things that are close to the house. So at least I am making progress in dealing with the separation anxiety.

Last Couple of Weeks

I have to say since I had my seizure after the incident with the Verio IQ not working properly I have been battling some tough lows and other seizures. I know I have been so caught up in getting settled applying for jobs. It has been difficult getting back into writing my blog. I know a recent seizure John had to deal with again. I know he never gets made at me for it but I am finding for me it has been incredibly difficult. I know the reason why is the guilt I feel for having so many lows since August when he first arrived in Austin. I know some of the lows were because of my meter but I still feel incredibly responsible for these incidents. I know I feel at times the guilt is eating me alive. I know he loves me and we would not be together if we didn't care for each other. I just didn't expect to feel this overwhelming guilt around with me. I know in the past when I was on vacation and this happened it was not the same in some ways.

I know I lucky to have him in my life and I am very thankful. I know after my second recent seizure and bad low. I told John that I wish this wasn't my life which is so unlike me but I actually think I really meant it at that moment. I feel like I am a burden to him and not that he feels that way but it has to be a lot to deal with glucagon shots and scary seizures. I know he seems to take it all in stride because he is also a Diabetic too. I know I have helped him during lows too but it just feel so different because his are so rare. I know I was told by my old coworker that I lived with for a short period time that she really had no idea how scary my life is and how difficult it must be. I know I do my best but at times like these I really struggle with what I can do with the guilt of these events even if they weren't preventable. I know as I am writing this I am trying to not cry because I feel so overwhelmed by it all. I know Duchess has really helped in alerting John to these events but I still feel like that is not enough.

I know now were are discussing getting the latest Dexcom G5 because John can monitor my blood sugars while he is at work when I am at home. That would be helpful but I know I am never good about sharing my Dexcom graphs with my family but I have shown them to him in the past. I know now he wakes me up in the middle of the night he hears my Dexcom go off and I am hearing his Dexcom as well at night. I know this data sharing is something I need to be open to because it does mean that he could help if I needed it. So it does take some getting used to because I have cared for my Diabetes for so many years independently from others. I know when I am high I get cranky and when I am low I get tired of hearing about it. So having him contact me when I am low would take some adjustment on my part to stay positive with him trying to be helpful. I am pretty sure once I get back to working again that will be one of the first things I purchase. I know I need to do as much as possible to keep me safe regardless of how I feel about sharing the data.

A New Experience that Taught me so Much

I am still job hunting. I ended up taking a temporary position for the first time in my life because honestly I was not handling not working very well. I am so used to this high paced and hundred a mile an hour pace. I also know that this process has been strange for Duchess as well because we are home more often than usual because I am spending so much time applying for jobs. I  have to say I was never planning of using a temporary agency but it actually turned out okay. Once I got the job assignment I then told them about Duchess. The temp agency was not happy to say the least but the place I was assigned to loved Duchess. It was an incredible assignment which made me realize that yes my work experience really could be pleasant compared to my old job. I know it gave me hope that I could possibly find a good employer who would be supportive of having Duchess.

I learned so much from this experience so now I know more what I am looking for in a job. I know my experience at my last job was not great but I also know what I would do differently next time if it got to that point. I am hoping to find an employer who values me more as an employee but also values how productive and how much I add to the work place. I know I am looking to make my life better in every way possible. Finding the right work place for both of us would be ideal. I am finding that back in 2011 I needed a job and it was the first one that came up. This time I have more options when I am making this decision. I know Duchess is a great service dog and I think the right place she won't have so many complaints about things that are untrue. I know I have a feeling those complaints were more about that the person was generally unhappy with their job and so they just wanted to have some one to complain to.

I know I never planned on going through a temporary agency but it might actually help me make contacts and to network to find other jobs. I know I love my first assignment but I know I can always apply to an opening with this company next year. I am hoping to do some more temporary jobs because it gives me other ideas of where I can work at that I might have not previously considered. I worked at a hospice organization and I found it so rewarding. I know I wish the job was a permanent one because the company was wonderful from what I saw and heard from other inside and out of the organization. I do my homework about the companies before I start to have an idea of what they are going to expect and what I might be doing as well.

I Am Finally Back to Blogging

Thank you all for your patience during the move and after the move. I thought I would have been back to blogging sooner but I am finding that I am still so far behind on everything these days on top of looking for a job. I know it really took some time for me to find places for all my stuff I moved to California. I know I feel like I have not gotten much accomplished when in actuality I have. I know my road trip to California is not one I will soon forget. I know I meet some of John's family and he meet some of my family. It has been an incredible start to our new life together. I know I have been incredibly stressed about not working. I found a temporary job actually a ten minute walk from the Condo I live in. I have to say I am in love with Sonoma and the new life I have now.

Duchess in our new home in Sonoma

I know I had my share of lows during our travels but we used walkie talkies on the drive so If either of us went low we would press a certain button which gave a very noticeable sound. This really helped to make the trip easier. I know this really helped us keep in touch but also made it easier to tell each other if bathroom breaks or stops for food were necessary. I know Duchess really handled the trip quite well even on the long days were we drove for longer periods of time. I have to say that I had no public access issues on the trip as well. Overall it was pretty uneventful but rather a great adventure for John and I. I know I won't forget this trip anytime soon. I know it seemed to only strengthen our relationship. I know I was thankful that we both were wearing our Dexcom's during the trip. It really helped me to make changes to my driving basal rates and make adjustments as necessary. I know it made it easier to see if I was moving up or down.

Leaving Texas and Into New Mexico

I know my life has changed so much in so little time. I know I love Sonoma and love the fact that I can walk to the grocery store and so many other places. I find I am walking more and more each day. The weather here is not as hot as Texas but quite nice and sunny. I love the fact I live so close to the Plaza which is where a great deal of the bars and restaurants in town are. I love the fact that Duchess favorite dog bakery is in the plaza as well. I feel very much at home in Sonoma and I am now starting to meet so many wonderful people. I am looking forward to see what will come. I know my Diabetes had some major blows when I first made it to Sonoma.

I had been using a Verio IQ for several months. One night I was feeling off so I tested it said I was 165 but I really felt like it was oddly low. So I continued to check but my blood sugar seemed to stay between 170-150 range. I kept watching it because it seemed odd. John was working that night so I knew it would just be Duchess and I tonight at home. Duchess kept alerting but every time I tested it was in that range. I know my CGM was showing I was lower in the 70's so I was not sure what was going on. So I left things alone. I know I remember reading a book and that was the last thing I remember that night. I remember waking up to John holding me up against the bed. He said to me you just had a seizure. I guess when John came home Duchess alerted him that something was wrong he ran to the bedroom and found me in a very incoherent state. Then I started to seize. John grabbed the glucagon and injected me. Then he grabbed my meter and tested it said I was 125 he knew that could not be. So he grabbed his meter it read LOW. So my meter was over a hundred points off. If I had know I was low I would have treated it but since my meter was saying other wise I didn't react.

                                                                

I know I am very upset that I had a seizure because of the meter being off and it brings back the fact that meters need to be more accurate especially since we all rely on them being accurate. I know after that experience I will never again use a Verio meter. I am back to using my old one touch meter which seems to be accurate. I have learned some lessons from this experience. I know now I am now battling to keep seizures at bay not because I didnt test but because my meter was wrong. I also know if my blood sugar had been slightly higher most likely I would have check with my back up meter. I know times like these I am grateful to have Duchess and John around. I also felt incredibly guilty because I didn't realize sooner that my meter had an issue. I know I felt overwhelmed with sadness and guilt over what happened and John assured me that it was not my fault. I know now I am working very hard to keep seizures as bay but the next couple of months will carry more risks of seizures.

I know I will always struggle with things but I am also so pleased that Duchess loves living in Sonoma as much as me. I know I am hoping that our life will be better here and so far it has really been so much less stressful so far. I know I feel better than I have in a long time. I will be trying to blog more as I can in between searching for jobs and settling into my new life. Thank you again for your patience while I took a break from the blog.

Taking Break Soon

I have loved keeping up with my blog for the past several years but I am feeling like it can be tough to keep up with it at times. So with all the changes coming into my life right now I need to concentrate on my life and other things at this point and time. I will be back to blogging but how much might change. I know with my life being a big ball of stress I need to look at what is working for me and what is not. So I will be taking some time over the next two weeks to move and unpack my things. I will try and update as I can but I know with the big changes I need to spend the time getting Duchess and me settled into this new life that we will be living. I will be back to blogging for sure.

I will have some photos of the trip from Texas to California to share with you all once I get to the point I can post. I know I want to be able to blog as I go but I know I have so many other things I need to be worrying about. I know this drive has me nervous but I know I will be taking my time and if I have a bad day of lows I can stop and start again the next day. So I am hoping for good blood sugars and a really smooth trip. I will still be updating my Facebook while traveling for those who are following me on my personal Facebook page. I am looking forward to all that is to come but I am also so full of emotions. It is really starting to hit home I am leaving my home for the past 10 years. I am also so excited. I will hopefully get a blog or two in before I leave.

So Close to the End

I had a bad morning full of lows and pump prime issues. I added more insulin this morning to my pump and it did the prime me issue around four or five times so far. I know this drives me crazy which probably contribute to the low I had this morning. I did treat the low on my own but I was a little frazzled by it all. It is the end of the fiscal year and I am tired. The good part it that I only four days of work left next week and I already cleaned out most of my drawers and filing cabinets. I also am clearing up my desktop of work computer and making sure documents are stored in the correct files. I know the next person thankfully won't be doing as much work as I currently do which is good for them. I know I worried they were going to continue to give them more work than is possible to handle which my job is currently at that level. I am not sure how I was able to handle this work load for so long but it really has taken a toll on my health.

I am glad I was able to work with so many wonderful people and miss my coworkers but I won't miss the work because it was just too much for me in reality. If I was healthy I still think it would have been challenging for anyone to keep up with but with all the lows it has been incredibly daunting and has affected me in ways I never noticed. I am happy that my new adventure hopefully will bring a job with a little less craziness and more opportunity for a slower pace. I know I need the change but I will miss certain parts of my life because I am so used to my life being this way but I know I need more stability and less of the crazy. I know Duchess probably needs that just as much as me. I am hopeful to all that is too come. So strange to say goodbye to my life here in Austin after ten years.

Will I Run Into Issues?

I know as I prepare for my trip to the west coast I know in the back of my mind one thing always has me worried. I know when you travel you tend to visit places you might normally go to. I know I have been lucky so far that service stations have not been an issue but I know it could be an issue especially in the south. I have noticed in general that a great deal of the time the staff in quite a few place are not familiar with the law which could make things difficult for Duchess and I. I know how I should react to these situations but after driving all day you can tend to go overboard possibly or just not handle these situations as well as I normally would. I know I did a road trip with Duchess about 4 years ago and thankfully we did not run into any issues but I will always worry about these experiences because I represent all service dog teams with how I do handle the situations.

I know if I do run into issues I will follow up or try to resolve the issue at that point if possible. If I find I am not getting anywhere I will purse the issue as soon as possible. I like to educate the general public when possible but at times people don't want to learn. So I know I can only do so much in some situations. I know all the people who pretend their dogs are service dogs really affect how I will be treated in some places and I know I will always be frustrated by this. I know I am feeling wonderful about all that is too come but I also know there could be challenges as well such as public access issues. I know John will also help to educate the business as well. He is very well versed in the laws and public access so he tends to help when things get tense or tough.  I also am aware I could go the whole trip without one issue. I am prepared for what may come but I am really hoping to get through with no issues.