Taking Break Soon

I have loved keeping up with my blog for the past several years but I am feeling like it can be tough to keep up with it at times. So with all the changes coming into my life right now I need to concentrate on my life and other things at this point and time. I will be back to blogging but how much might change. I know with my life being a big ball of stress I need to look at what is working for me and what is not. So I will be taking some time over the next two weeks to move and unpack my things. I will try and update as I can but I know with the big changes I need to spend the time getting Duchess and me settled into this new life that we will be living. I will be back to blogging for sure.

I will have some photos of the trip from Texas to California to share with you all once I get to the point I can post. I know I want to be able to blog as I go but I know I have so many other things I need to be worrying about. I know this drive has me nervous but I know I will be taking my time and if I have a bad day of lows I can stop and start again the next day. So I am hoping for good blood sugars and a really smooth trip. I will still be updating my Facebook while traveling for those who are following me on my personal Facebook page. I am looking forward to all that is to come but I am also so full of emotions. It is really starting to hit home I am leaving my home for the past 10 years. I am also so excited. I will hopefully get a blog or two in before I leave.

So Close to the End

I had a bad morning full of lows and pump prime issues. I added more insulin this morning to my pump and it did the prime me issue around four or five times so far. I know this drives me crazy which probably contribute to the low I had this morning. I did treat the low on my own but I was a little frazzled by it all. It is the end of the fiscal year and I am tired. The good part it that I only four days of work left next week and I already cleaned out most of my drawers and filing cabinets. I also am clearing up my desktop of work computer and making sure documents are stored in the correct files. I know the next person thankfully won't be doing as much work as I currently do which is good for them. I know I worried they were going to continue to give them more work than is possible to handle which my job is currently at that level. I am not sure how I was able to handle this work load for so long but it really has taken a toll on my health.

I am glad I was able to work with so many wonderful people and miss my coworkers but I won't miss the work because it was just too much for me in reality. If I was healthy I still think it would have been challenging for anyone to keep up with but with all the lows it has been incredibly daunting and has affected me in ways I never noticed. I am happy that my new adventure hopefully will bring a job with a little less craziness and more opportunity for a slower pace. I know I need the change but I will miss certain parts of my life because I am so used to my life being this way but I know I need more stability and less of the crazy. I know Duchess probably needs that just as much as me. I am hopeful to all that is too come. So strange to say goodbye to my life here in Austin after ten years.

Will I Run Into Issues?

I know as I prepare for my trip to the west coast I know in the back of my mind one thing always has me worried. I know when you travel you tend to visit places you might normally go to. I know I have been lucky so far that service stations have not been an issue but I know it could be an issue especially in the south. I have noticed in general that a great deal of the time the staff in quite a few place are not familiar with the law which could make things difficult for Duchess and I. I know how I should react to these situations but after driving all day you can tend to go overboard possibly or just not handle these situations as well as I normally would. I know I did a road trip with Duchess about 4 years ago and thankfully we did not run into any issues but I will always worry about these experiences because I represent all service dog teams with how I do handle the situations.

I know if I do run into issues I will follow up or try to resolve the issue at that point if possible. If I find I am not getting anywhere I will purse the issue as soon as possible. I like to educate the general public when possible but at times people don't want to learn. So I know I can only do so much in some situations. I know all the people who pretend their dogs are service dogs really affect how I will be treated in some places and I know I will always be frustrated by this. I know I am feeling wonderful about all that is too come but I also know there could be challenges as well such as public access issues. I know John will also help to educate the business as well. He is very well versed in the laws and public access so he tends to help when things get tense or tough.  I also am aware I could go the whole trip without one issue. I am prepared for what may come but I am really hoping to get through with no issues.

Quite a Few Laughs

There is times that I have to laugh at some of my experiences. I know it is interesting to see how people judge you and have an idea in their mind of what you are supposed to drive etc. I know I recently bought a used Honda Civic which I love. My favorite part of the car is the custom red Honda symbols and the tires and rims. They did all these extras on the car such as custom leather seats etc,carbon fiber on the roof of the car and custom bumper. I think they were trying to make the Honda Civic look like the SI version which is fine with me. Everything on the car was done extremely well.

I was doing great on my exercise routine I went to the gym as usual and even exercised longer on Friday because I had the energy. I am really starting to feel like my old self and have had very little pain the past couple of weeks. So I had a really good work out and I was really getting used to the gym and how it works at this gym. I have enjoyed everything so far. The weird part is not that I have been going to the gym for  a bit I now have men exercising near me when I am working out. I am fine with it except for the fact they tend to distract Duchess. So I am trying to find a way to position her so she is not in the way but still able to be close enough to me to alert. She has done extremely well alerting me when I am at they gym because the Dexcom is much slower at letting me know. The weird part is at times I feel high but I am actually low but it happens occasionally.

So I finish working out and I head out to my car after I gathered all my stuff together. I get closer to my car and notice a group of men at one guys car a couple cars away from where my Civic is parked. I could see they were looking at my car. Men love my car which I find kind of funny. I notice they are watching Duchess and I get in the car and I open up my sunroof it was a warm night. So I hear the guys talking I would of never guessed that lady is the one who owns that car is what I hear. I had to laugh a little bit because I seem to get weird looks because I have a car with a great deal of custom work. Then I hear one guy saying he needs to hang out with my boyfriend because he did a great job on the car. It was interesting to hear tidbits of the conversation as I am pulling out of they gym parking lot and quite a few more laughs. I guess a disabled person with a service dog is not allowed to have a car with custom features in their minds.

Tips for People Considering a Diabetic Alert Dog

I get asked frequently by people who want to get a diabetic alert dog for their children their is several issues I have seen and observed from the parents. I know most people assume that all diabetic alert dogs alert at night but that is incorrect there are some but the majority do not always alert at night. Duchess will alert but she is not very consistent and I am working on that currently but I also have my Dexcom as a back up. Duchess is really just another tool in my arsenal and not my only one. Another thing I have learned is that any trainer should really try to talk your out of getting a diabetic alert dog before you start the process because if after all the downsides they talk about and your still interested the more likely you are to succeed as a team. I have seen some children who's parent purchase a DAD for their teenager but did not ask the teenager if they wanted a diabetic alert dog and the team ended up failing only because the teenager ignored the dog and the dog interpreted it as that the job is not important. If you ignore alerts, do not do consistent follow up with training, allow petting  and not enough down time for the dog can all equal a diabetic alert dog who does not work. I can see the novelty of the idea of a companion which is one of the best parts but there is also so much work as well. I knew going in several years it was going to be work but I had not idea how much that was really entailed. I am very comfortable with that their is work but with a busy life it can be difficult at times. I know some may read this as I am trying to discourage other from getting a diabetic alert dog but that is not the case. I am trying to provide you some of the things I have learned along the way. I know most families that have the diabetic alerts dogs only talk about that good things but I feel the need to discuss all aspects.

              I know their was some things I did not know going in that I wish I had when I went through the process and I want to share that information. I could not agree more that I made the correct choice for me and I will never regret this journey with my best friend Duchess but I have also had so many unexpected issue from dealing with the public. I did expect issues from the general public and public access issues. Some of the comments from people were more than I have bargained from I stole Duchess from a child who would need it more than me. Which is really an unfair statement because I actually paid for Duchess. I know when I first got Duchess there was not nearly as many places who offered diabetic alert dog but I have also seen so many people get ripped off by companies selling untrained puppies and sick puppies. I did my research and found a great dog. So if you are looking into getting a diabetic alert dog remember research and more research. There is quite a few reputable places but keep in mind on average to get a fully trained dog is at least two years. If something sounds too good to be true it is. I have heard claims that a dog was able to tell a child was low from 9 miles away is not possible. They can from quite some distance but that is a little far fetched.

I am posting an interview at blogging diabetes about diabetic alert dogs as well.

http://bloggingdiabetes.com/2012/06/bdp-046-interview-with-tarra-robinson-diabetic-alert-dog-tslim-and-news/

Well At Least I Am Done For Now

I know today was a rough day in some ways. I know I made it two years without having anything done to my eyes. I had no lasers or injection for my Retinopathy. I know I was really feeling great about all the hard work. I knew deep down eventually I would have to had some procedures done again but I also still feel really defeated even though I know it is all part of having Retinopathy. I know my eye is not in bad shape and the laser procedure it to help stop any bleeds from happening in the first place. I know I am in a good place in that my eyes are not as bad as they once were and the bleeds when they happen are very small and do not tend to impact my vision for the most part. I know I honestly am hoping my next Retina Specialist is better than my current one. I know he is very well know but at times I feel like I am talking to the wall.

I tended to have to push the Dr. to get what I needed at times. I know overall that he at least was following standard procedure when it came to laser procedures. I also know that he was willing to not do surgery which I am incredibly thankful for now. I know I can't see well at night but at least I have really great vision otherwise. So I am thankful and I am also hopeful that I can go another couple of years without any injections or laser procedures. It was so nice to have a break from all the appointments and constant dilatations that I once had. I know I was blessed to only see the Dr. twice a year for two years in a row. I know that even with my great A1c that I still don't have everything the way I would like but I know in the long run keeping my A1c in check must have played a part in my brief period of time with little assistance needed.

Retina Specialist and Big Set Back

 I knew going into my Retina Specialist appointment it had been two years since my eyes have had any laser procedures or injections. I know I have been fortunate the past two years to have some time where I was not worrying too much about my Retinopathy it was just one appointment every six months. Well sadly there was some bleeding in my eyes again but this time on the left eye the interesting part it that my Dr. could not identify the cause of the bleeds. I know I had several bad lows in June. I know the injury when I feel in the tub I am sure caused the bleed. I had swelling that took weeks to go away. Then I had no new blood vessel growth but just some spots that will need to lasered again in my right eye.  I know when the Dr. said this I just wanted to cry. I know once you have Retinopathy you can only do so much. My A1c has been excellent, my blood pressure normal and cholesterol was also good. So I am doing everything on my part.

I know these moments really make me feel extremely angry and bitter. I know I work so hard to keep things where they need to be. I know my Retinopathy is not bad and some of this laser procedure is to prevent further bleeds but I feel like a failure to an extent even though I am not. I still have 20/20 vision during the day at night I am blind as a bat. I know even though I had some changes I really am doing incredibly well but it can be so easy to just blame myself. I know I need to give myself some credit because my eyes are in a good place but after two years need some maintenance of sorts. I am doing my best to keep my thoughts in a positive place. I know If I do I will be so much happier when I go back and everything is good again.

I know that in the long run all the hard work has paid off and will continue too but having set backs along the way will happen for sure. So I know I just need to keep going even though the frustration will only be until I am done with the laser procedure on Monday. I know what I am feeling is only for a short period of time and that doing this follow up will help keep the bleeds away.

The Lows Are Disappearing

I am starting to feel better this past week or so I am starting to have less lows again even with exercise. I am seeming to be more level in my Dexcom graph and very little higher blood sugars which I was aiming for. I know yesterday I had only one low which was so great for me and now lows after working out which so surprising. I did my normal snack before bed when I work out and this time no lows at 3:00am which was so nice. I also in general am waking up in the low one hundred range which is great. I know if I wake up around that level I normally feel great and have a great start to the day. I also know that if I can keep the lows at bay most of the day I tend to have less at night. So now my goal is to try and keep things like they are now until I leave if possible.

I am now just trying to relax because I just gave notice at work yesterday and it was nice in some ways to say good bye. My job there was a great deal of things I liked but also a great deal I didn't like. I know I felt so much better after giving notice. I know I felt relieved to be moving on but there is also part of me that is sad in some ways. I know saying goodbye to some of my friends at work and in Austin in general will be hard. I know I am not looking forward to all the goodbyes but I know am really needing the new start to my life.  So I am hoping that the last two weeks at my job are pleasant and good. I know after almost 4 years it will be strange to not work here. I know when I am crossing the Texas border I won't be looking back but instead looking forward. I know I am hoping and praying for less lows. I know it was so nice to stay in range most of the day.

Plan for My Move

I know I have been doing much better with lows the past couple of days so finally seeing some improvement with having less lows even with exercise which is great. I know as I plan my move I know I am planning on last visit with my Dr. again before I leave. I have decided to use a new basal rate just for when I am driving. I know I am hoping to keep my blood sugars in the 140-150 range if possible while I am driving to California. I know I find driving stressful at times but there is long stretches of nothing in Texas so that won't be as stressful but once I get through that there is border patrol stops and other things to deal with. I know I do plan to have food within reach and have a sweet drink to help prevent lows. I know because we are taking our time I am hoping I will feel more relaxed as I go. I know keeping my stress levels low and having time to monitor my blood sugars will help me feel more comfortable with the drive.

I know I do plan on having my Dexcom on my steering wheel as I drive. That will make the process easier for me I don't want to mess with my pump if I don't have to. I know at times like these I really wish I was one of the lucky one's who Dexcom was actually closer to what your blood sugar is. So I know frequent testing and also making sure I stay hydrated will be important. If I get dehydrated that increase low blood sugars. I know having Celiac's disease can be challenging especially while traveling but having options available with me should alleviate any issues I might encounter. I know thankfully I have learned so much over the past several years about what I can and can't eat it just leaves me making sure I have food ready when I am on the road. I know there is some places I can eat that our fast food which can be helpful and some restaurants so I have option. I know I really prefer to eat at home because I can better control what I am getting exposed to.

So I am so happy that I am getting closer to my next adventure. I know I can't wait to see what is next. I know I am really so looking forward to unpacking my things and feeling like I am at home. It has been since June that was the last time I could actually say that. I know Duchess will do great on this trip. I am just hoping she feels at home right away which she seemed to in July when we were visiting. 

I Never Stopped to Realize the Impact

I know John and I talk frequently and we were discussing things we wanted to do once I finish my move to California. I know he is used to Duchess being around in fact have never not had her with us. I know I never really realized that we have never had a date or time where Duchess was not there. It can be so easy to forget what it is like to not have her with me. I know I normally never leave Duchess but I figure that I trust him enough her tends to notice my lows so I can have a night out without Duchess being with us. It will defiantly be nice because honestly at times having some space would be really nice. I love Duchess beyond belief but at times I know I really miss my freedom I had before the Unawareness took over my life. I used to be able to go out and do things without a service dog with me at all times. I know we will be taking my glucagon kit with me for sure. 

I know it is interesting to me that at times I have forgotten in some ways what it is like to not have Duchess with me. I know I rarely ever leave her but on occasion it would be nice to enjoy life a little more. Mind you it is very rare for me to leave Duchess.  I know I am really dependent on her and I feel safest having her with me she is my little sidekick of sorts. So it really hit me when he mentioned we have never had any just us time which sadly is true. I know I am incredibly fortunate to have her and I love her so much. I know I will miss her the whole time we are apart but it also be nice for us as couple to experience some time just for us. I know dating is defiantly more complicated when having a service dog because you are worrying about your service dog, diabetes, and so many other things. I know he has been incredibly understanding about it all and loves Duchess too. I just think its time for us as a couple.

Complications Can Be Hard to Face

Reposting of old blog

I know have not been able to talk about my Mom's whole Diabetes story until now.  This is the most difficult thing I have blogged about in a long time.  I know she had good control of her Diabetes and worked very hard at it. When I was in College my mom and dad decided to divorce. During that time my mom was getting the house ready for sale she was working in our garage where my dad had kept his big tool box full of all his tools which was extremely heavy and was very full of items. She was moving things around preparing for a garage sale of some items before the house was to go on the market. She started to move the tool chest when it feel forward on top of her foot. Thankfully her friend was their and was able to help get the chest off of her foot. She went to the Dr.'s and they treated the wounds and watched to see how here foot would heal. Her wounds on her food did heal but there were changes in her foot from the injury.

My mom moved shortly after this to Texas from Washington State where my brother, sister and I were living. I know even with such a great distance between us I talked with her frequently. I know over the next year or so here foot experienced more issues. So a Dr. recommended surgery to help with the issues with her foot. So she agreed because they said they thought they could preserve some of the blood flow in her foot by operating. The Dr. who performed the surgery actually ended up not improving the circulation but permanently damaging most of the blood flow in her foot. In fact her foot had obvious signs of the surgery gone bad. I know she did her best to take care of her foot especially since she knew it was in a very vulnerable spot currently. With limited circulation in her foot things were not great even a small injury or wound could go from bad to extremely bad very quickly.

So we fast forward to Christmas of 2007 when my mom gets very ill I know she had been to the Dr.'s and was still not feeling well. She ends up in the hospital. She had a tiny scrap on the bottom of the toe that no real circulation head to it. I know she tried her best to catch any wounds but the location of this one could have been missed by anyone according to my sister who was their during all this. There was also other issues going on at the same time. Her kidney function was declining and had weird blood work that no one could explain. I get the call from my sister once my mom was in the hospital that they needed to amputate my mom's toe. I was not supposed to get into the area for another three days. I know I cried a great deal that night for my mom because I knew people would always judge her because she had an amputation she had an excellent Alc and did everything she could but sadly that was not enough.

I know full well if she had normal circulation in that foot like she did her other foot she would not have had an amputation. I know she did not see this coming most likely I am know that is because later we would learn that here hear valves were going.  She did the best she could and I know her good A1c did not seem to help her when her foot issue arose. I know I feel very ashamed for her over the years. I know I shouldn't but there was always been a very clear you were a bad diabetic and this is why this happened to you. I am so very thankful now that were are talking about complications and working towards a more realistic view of complications.

Is Two Diabetics Too Much

I know I am with the upcoming move I have some concerns not about my relationship but with Duchess. I know alerting to two Diabetics is risky in that she could be distracted by John's blood sugars too. I know I worry that she will get over worked when at home trying to manage two Diabetics instead of just one. I know when I have spent several weeks with him she did great but I worry about the long term which I am not sure how she will handle things. I know she loves me but I also know I am responsible for her as well. So I am not sure how I will handle this if it does become an issue. I need Duchess to alert to my blood sugars because things can get bad really quickly. I know John is there most of the time so that is great but I know I have to worry about Duchess becoming burned out or worse stop working all together

I know I am thrilled by everything but I know I am not overly concerned yet I am sure I will know soon enough but I also know I am completely dependent on her alerting. I have had her for 5 years on the 15th of this month so I am so used to her doing what I need. I know my concerns could be unfounded but I generally like things to work well. I know Duchess has also been through an incredibly stressful period of time since June and she is finally starting to regain some weight that she lost. So I am really hoping and praying that she will be able to keep up with my alerts but I also know she tends to alert for both of us. I don't want her to not alert for John because we all can end up low and not feel it which happens for him on occasion. I would rather us both be safe if at all possible.

I know Duchess really loves us both and at the end of the day I know I am responsible for taking care of  her like she takes care of me. I know we have had to go through so much recently I feel like we are an even better team because of all the crazy obstacles too. I am also thankful that Duchess is now not wearing the collar around her neck and is back to her normal self and paws are healing great.

Sleep Eludes Me

I know since June I have had issues with sleep. I am waking up most nights at 3:00 am and not able to go back to sleep. Which is not good especially when dealing with Hypoglycemia Unawareness. I know my sleep issues do affect if I have lows and how often I do as well. I know sleep really helps me to keep things balanced blood sugar wise and also keeps the lows at a lower rate. I know I am tired of waking up at 3am but I am not really sure of the cause. I know the last couple of months I have made so many important decisions about where my life is headed. I know the move is taxing in a great deal of ways but I have gotten everything done already so I am prepared to move. There is not much more I can do to be ready at this point. So I am not sure why I keep waking up every night at 3am but I know I would love to be able to sleep more than I have the past couple of months.

I know I am not overly stressed at this point but I am not sure where I need to go from here. I know I do exercise and I still continually exercise as I always have which does help me deal with stress. Normally I do not have issues falling asleep but waking up in the middle of the night is where the issues show up. I do know that I have been living out of boxes since the middle of June. So the possibility that I don't feel settled could be affecting me more than I realized.  I know I feel comfortable staying at my co-workers house but I know for a fact I can't wait to be able to unpack my things and settle in. I know how much Duchess needs that but I guess maybe be I forgot about me needing that as well. Since I can't change that yet I still have over three weeks before I leave. I am hoping that I can find a good normal sleeping pattern before I leave because it is a long trip to get to California.

So I am going to try and right to do lists and other things so they are not weighing my mind down. I am also going to try to turn off all electronics a half an hour before bed to hopefully help prevent the waking up every night. I might try doing some stress relieving activities as well to see if that helps. I know it has been a really challenging couple of months and I am really needing a break from all the craziness. Hoping these will help but I guess I will see.

Some Times You Have to Make A Judgement Call

I know with all recent events with Duchess and her need to lick constantly at her feel I finally ended up having to use an E-collar to keep her away from her paws. I know for me it is really difficult to make her wear it since I feel like it is difficult for Duchess but I also know that her safety is very important to me as well. I know I feel like a parent during these time and I stress myself out because I don't want to make her wear it but I know at the end of the day I am doing what it best for Duchess which is what is best for both of us in the long run. I know it has been a difficult time getting Duchess back to where her paws are normal. Thankfully her feet are not infected and I do clean then out daily and make sure that I have a good coat of the liquid bandage applied to the spots. It seems to really have helped protect her feet from everything she comes in contact with so far.

                             

I know wearing the E-collar I have noticed she sleeps more but also seems to play more like she used to so overall it was a good decision. Her paws looked really good this morning so maybe a day or two more and I can take the collar back off. I know she has been very patient through out the whole process and does not seem to be too upset by it all. In fact she has been really good through out this whole incident and I know I appreciate her patience while I figured out what would work best for both of us. I know it is difficult using the E-collar she tends to run into everything and has tunnel vision so I spend more time guiding her to avoid hitting things but overall it has been just little adjustments. I know I get the craziest looks when Duchess was going to work and at the grocery store with the collar on but I know it is for the best. I know most people are curious as to why she is wearing the collar and I share I know it is not uncommon for this issue to happen.

Living out of Boxes

I know recently when I go the gym there has been less distractions by other people which is a relief. I know each time I got a new place it seems that most people need to time to adjust to seeing Duchess. I know the staff at this other location has been good they recognize me and Duchess now. I know they never question if I need her which I appreciate but I know they have seen me testing my blood sugar and also treating some lows. So overall this new gym has been a good place to work out once people seemed to get over the initial period where they just have to stop and look at Duchess. I know because there is a very limited number of service dogs in Austin that I know it is very interesting to see one working. I know the interesting thing for me is that I have had no public access issues since I moved which I thought I would have. So I know I am thankful that the recent changes in general have not been bad but very managable. I know I am looking forward to where I am not living out of boxes.

I am really looking forward to September where I can actually unpack my things and finally feel at home. It has been since June since I started living out of boxes and it has not been bad but I like to be able to use my things easily and not have to put them in and out of boxes. I know at least my kindle has made things easier because everything I need is on the device. I am also thankful that I will get a new start as well. Living with my Coworker is fun but I also know I am ready to live with my boyfriend and be able to find new opportunities. I feel like my life with Diabetes will never be easy but with a smaller town might just be more manageable for me to handle. I know Duchess is also seeming like she wants to be able to call some place home and I know she loves where we are going to be living.

Another Jump Scheduled

I am trying to arrange another Sky dive with a friend in Austin. She has never sky dived before so it will be really fun to jump with a friend. I am very fortunate that my boyfriend John loves to sky dive as well and that we can jump together which is really fun. I know taking Duchess with us while we sky dive requires a baby sitter of sorts which worked well. I also learned that having a chair to sit in while we sky dive really helped her to be really calm. I know I am so excited that I will going again for jump number 5. I do plan to do my training for solo sky diving soon which I am so thrilled about. I have to admit jumping by myself will defiantly be interesting but I am learning so much. I know like Diabetes you need to prepared for anything. Sky diving does have its risks but they train you how to handle situations that could arise. I know I am looking forward to being able to do it on my own but I also know that even though I was not in the slightest bit nervous. I know I will be when I do my first solo sky dive with the instructor it will be different that jumping with a tandem instructor. So I am really nervous but really looking forward to the challenges. I think Sky diving and Diabetes are quite a bit a like in many ways such as you have to be prepared for everything I know I try me best to never run out of supplies etc. I also know that sky diving you meet some really interesting people and the same can be said for Diabetics.

I know in sky diving you look for days with good weather conditions and we all know we love the days when our Diabetes behaves the way we want it too. I also have to say that both require a great deal of split second decisions. When you get your parachute tangled up you may need to make a decision to cut away the shoot and use the back up. There is also times with Diabetes where your pump goes bad and then you go back to shots till the replacement shows up. I also know that both require some problem solving abilities. That is why I think my Diabetes prepared me a great deal of ways for Sky Diving which I love. I know I will not have a video of this sky dive but possibly on some future jumps when I am in California.

Unexpected Injury from Playing

I know recently with all the stress of getting ready to move. Some things have crept up. On Monday night I let Duchess play with friend little Anne and it was hot out. I am not sure what happened but she was licking her pay frequently. I took a closer look at her paw which now has some missing skin. So I have put a liquid bandage on which will hopefully help it heal which has in the past. The only issues is that she can't lick the wound after applying it which she has done. So I have to wrap it up. So I tried letting her stay on her dog cot at work but then she removed the bandage. So I moved to her a chair next to me at work which seems to be working.

I know recently we have been having our challenges most because I am so focused on other things. So I know we are just in such a weird spot and I am really short on patience because I am so caught in other things. So I know I need to get back some of my patience at times. I am so excited about the future but I also need to focus on the now as well. So thankfully my friend suggested using a chair which worked while skydiving is working now as well. I am hoping to keep the blanket over her paws a deterrent while I am trying to heal her wound. I am also switching her over to benadryl as well because it seems to curb her constant licking at times. I have noticed my own allergies acting up today as well. I know I am always trying to keep her safe but at times dogs will injure themselves and things can happen even while doing something as simple as playing with her new next door neighbor friend who loves to play.

Taking a Postive Approach

I know at times it is so easy to slip in a bad pattern of all the negatives of Diabetes. I know I feel like I have quite a few reasons to complain. I also know I am blessed in so many ways to have Diabetes because I truly feel like I am a better person because I have had my experiences. I know I feel like my Diabetes makes me more empathetic to others and I most of the time am better at handling things others seem to struggle with it. I know I am more organized except for my 501b purse I carry around which I need to switch to a smaller one for obvious reasons. I know I am more organized and tend to have a back up plan because of my Diabetes. I tend to take on things others would be scared too because Diabetes has up jump through so many hoops to get our medical supplies and to just deal with Dr.'s who make mistakes as well. So we all have all these obstacle from work, school, insurance and other obstacles as well. I know even with all my lows I know I am blessed because of my wealth of knowledge I can share but I also have a unique opportunity to educate others which can be difficult at times.

I know we all struggle with difficult times which I have had my share over the past 35 years. I know I am a better problem solver than most because of my Diabetes and I am also great at coming up with creative fixes for things as well. I know I have had way to many pump clips break and other equipment so at times you have to be creative and this helps me in other areas of my life. I know I come up with some very creative solutions at work and so it helps me in my job most of the time. I also know that Diabetes has taught me to have patience at times because there is days where you have to wait for your blood sugar to come down or wait to continue exercising. I also know overall that I think Diabetics are generally the incredible people who face so many things and make it look easy. I know I make things look easy in some ways but because my Diabetes is not very cooperative it is more obvious now to others that things are not as simple as they appear. I know I will forever be thankful that I have meet so many incredible people who are constantly pushing to do things they dream of.

I know I feel lucky each day to wake up to a life full of challenges but filled with so much more because of it all. I know Diabetes affect everyone in a family and I know my brother and sister are much more patient in general because of how we grew up and the adjustments that had to be made. I know my family is also healthier as well because we eat better growing up. Which in so many ways was good for everyone. I know I can't change that I am a Diabetic but I do have control over how I feel about my Diabetes. I am thankful for the person I am today and I know my Diabetes such a huge part of that.

Just Enjoyed My Weekend

I know with all the work I have been putting getting ready to move I knew I needed to give Duchess some fun time. I know recently as I plan my move and start applying for jobs in Sonoma I needed to have some fun too. I know I want to enjoy my last bit of time before I move away. I know I am trying to get together with friends and it is so strange I am in my last month in town and I should be leaving the first week of September. I am looking forward to all the great time ahead. Duchess loves the water so this past weekend I took her down to the water and she swam after her ball over and over again. She had a great time in the sunshine and with all the people and dogs near bye. I know she loved this time with just me and her having fun in the water. She really seemed to be relieved to have some time just to be a dog and enjoy the really warm weather we are having. I know she has seemed a little unsure of things I know that has to do with the fact that nothing is unpacked and I am living out of boxes.

I know my friends are wonderful that is letting me stay till I get moved which is a blessing and I am truly grateful but I also know I can't wait to get unpacked and then settle in my new home. I know I need this more than I realized up to now. I know I was talking with a friend and they mentioned it must be hard being a guest and trying to prepare for a move that is getting closer. I know I am not as focused at work because of the stuff I must accomplish but I am giving it my best shot and hoping that I am getting it all done. There has been some recent things that have come up with leave time I already was planning so now I will be working one or two days more than I originally planned. I know another day or two won't hurt. I am hoping I can handle all the obstacles as they come. I know I am really hoping I can find a job that will pay enough but also give me more opportunities in the future. I know being new in town I am hoping that I can find what I need. I know administrative work is generally easy to find but I also know not all jobs are great.