Saying Goodbye Can Be Tough

I know I went to my Endocrinologist and saw my Physician Assistant Amy who I love. She has helped me through all my tough times and my good times as well. I know I am blessed beyond belief to have such a wonderful Dr. to have seen the past couple of years. I know my Dr. cried when I told her I was moving. I know I have seen her so much over the past couple of years and she has helped me even on the weekends when necessary because she cares for her patients. I know I was really sad I will be saying goodbye in September. I know I really wish I had her as a Dr. when I was younger because it would have meant I would have gotten what I needed as a patient. I know she has been a great friend and she listens so well. She never let me let my Diabetes stop me from trying new things. I know when I went sky diving for the first time she was supportive because she knew it meant a great deal for to be able to do so. I know I am forever thankful and I know I cried as well because it makes me incredibly sad. I will never forget how much this experience as a patient has changed me.

I know I have one more appointment on September 2nd to have her check my settings before I leave for California. She thought it was a great idea to get everything in good shape before I leave and to get any other prescriptions I might need. I know I don't have a job yet in California but I know I will as quickly as possible. I have ordered 3 months supply of all prescriptions and stock piled all my supplies to be prepared as much as possible. I know the more I feel prepared the better I will feel as I set off on my next adventure in California. I am really looking forward what is to come but sometimes saying goodbye is really difficult and today is one of those days. I know I plan on bringing my favorite cupcakes to my last appointment for all the staff. I know it does not seem like enough but I am hoping they will enjoy them.

Slowing Down Can Be Beneficial

I know I have been doing training at work for the past three days which was pretty intensive. The training goes from 9-4pm with a short lunch break. It really makes for a long day. I sadly had a bad low but the interesting part is that Duchess did alert but I was too much into what I call the fog zone which can happen. I know when the teacher cam in we were supposed to log into the program but she didn't send us a link but just started off quickly before half the class could even log in. So I was trying to find the correct email address the one in the book was incorrect so I had not idea what the address was. Then because of the stress there went my blood sugar. because I could not figure it out. I know I was stressed after all the training and hours of hours of focus from the day before. The good part my coworker noticed I was treating it when Duchess was alerting the bad part they moved forward with the class while I was getting my blood sugar back up which took around two hours. Luckily my coworker sat next to me while we worked through the exercises I needed to do for the class.  I know after a half an hour I was able to jump back in on my own. I did help with the exercises but I was exhausted.

Thankfully Duchess is on top of my blood sugars again today she has not missed on since I started the allergy medication which is more like her old self. I know from now on she will be on medication to keep her happier and also able to alert. I did not realize that the allergies were bothering her so much. I know because our dogs are unable to tell us they don't feel good it can be easy to miss. I try my best to notice things but at times I am so busy trying to do everything I can miss things. I know I try my best to do what I can for Duchess. I know I learned a lesson that at times slowing down can be beneficial for us both. I know I am thankful that thing are getting back to normal. I know I was not sure why Duchess was waiting so long to alert but it does make sense.

Why Duchess Has Not Been Feeling Well

I know recently I have noticed some issues with Duchess alerting from time to time since our move. I thought she just needed some time so I made a call to the trainer yesterday. She told me several things to check out if she has allergies she might be stuffed up and can't smell things like she normally would or she could be in pain from an injury or illness. She is very good alerter so I was worried sick trying to figure it out. I know she recommended I start with some Zyrtec so I did last night. I know my vet said she could have allergy medicine when needed. So I thought I would give it a try. Sure enough she is a different dog today she is back to her energetic self and she could smell my blood sugar without being on top of me most of the time. She seems to be back to her normal self I am getting steady alerts and quite early. So to say I am relived is an understatement. I know there is so many things that can affect if your dog will continually alert and everything the trainer said could be true.

I know I do my best to take Duchess to the vet and I do have pet insurance to be safe. I need a plan to help make things more affordable if something did happen and Duchess insurance has really helped. So far nothing has happened but if something does it feels good to have a good plan in place. I know you never know if your dog will need surgery for an injury or physical therapy for an injury. I know I do plan on seeing how I can make things as easy for both Duchess and I because proper health care for a service dog is essential. So I am glad that I have my plan but also thankful that it turned out to be something so simple. I never thought about when you move that the allergens they may be exposed to could be different as well. So I know I am trying to make sure I give her allergy medicine nightly to avoid her being drowsy when she is working. I know even with having Duchess 5 years I am still constantly learning and still making mistakes. I know I feel so much better to know that Duchess is back to her old self again.

Some Times Slowing Down is Good

I know this past weekend had quite a few surprises that came up. I know Duchess is always so ready to work and very energetic but this past weekend she was not. So we ended up reducing her work time and I let her sleep and the next day we did a very light duty again and she slept more as well. Today she seems to be back to her normal self which is wonderful. I am thinking she was sick which does happen. I know I have other pets in the past get sick and so her getting sick was no surprise. I normally am very busy on the weekends but it was nice for me as well to stop and enjoy some time doing things I do enjoy as well. I have been so busy getting everything ready for the move that I have not been able to have as much fun. I know I need to get together with my friends before I move and got to some of my favorite places. I know I feel really great with how much I have accomplished so far. I am feeling like I am as ready as I will be for the move.

So now I am onto getting job applications submitted before I leave. I know I am much more comfortable with having a job before I move but in this case I knew I would have time to apply before I was leaving and that should help. I also for the first time in my life purchased a professionally done resume and hoping that will help make the job hunt a little easier. I know I am excited about all the changes. I know Duchess getting sick happens but I am trying to manage to only do a limited number of things in one weekend so I don't cause issues for both of us. I know I had a not so great weekend of lows that were sticking around for hours which is not fun. Thankfully I was eventually able to get them back up to normal. I did lower the basal several time and I am finally waking up a little higher which is great. So I am making progress but very slowly. 

Duchess and Continuing Changes

I know with all the recent changes Duchess seems to be changing as well. I have noticed that she is not sure of what is really going on so her alerting patterns have changed. She used to remind me if I forgot to give her a treat for an alert when I am low this does happen even though I try my best to not let this happen. I know I have been trying to continue her scent training but she seems to be uninterested with it all these days which worries me to an extent. I also know that I don't know what to expect from all the changes as well. So I am sure that this experience has been really difficult for Duchess. I know I am doing my best to get her back to some sore of routine but it does not help that half my stuff is packed up and is in boxes to be ready for the big move. So I know this living in limbo has changed things for Duchess. Keep in mind she is not missing alerts she is just a little more resistant to doing her normal scent training. I know the most important thing is that she is alerting.

I know my goal once we get to California is to get a routine for Duchess because she does well when she knows what to expect. I know she loves the location we are going to be living so she will feel at home pretty quickly and I am planning on setting up her dog cot and dog toys in an area she can play in. I want to make sure I do the best job of getting her back to the normal as much as possible but this will also be a great time to switch some things up and make her life easier as well. The nice part of the move is that she will have more area to play in than she currently does at my friends place and she will have a back yard to play in as well.

So it will some what like she is used to. I know she tends to be so used things they way they used to be. I know all this will take some time but at least she is alerting well and she also has tended to be ever more loving during all these changes. I know she is confused by all the boxes being around and we only have one more month of boxes in August then we will be on our way to California.  I know I have to say having a Diabetic alert dog has never been easy especially during changes like I am experiencing now.  I know I am learning as well through this process so I am always just trying to make the best decisions I can for Duchess and hoping that I don't make any mistakes along the way. The relationship with a DAD is very a complicated one and I know each dog is different.

When The Beeping is Too Much

I know at times my devices drive me crazy. I get tired of hearing the beeping or the alerts. I get tired of the Dexcom being wrong most of the time but I am really just tired of dealing the fact that I live my life between the lines. I know these goals do help me to keep my Diabetes in check and do help me keep my Alc where I like it to be but at times it can be really overwhelming dealing with it all the time. I know I have been very dependent on my Dexcom and I am still am even with the increased exercise. I also know that I do benefit from the device but I also feel like I have a screaming two year that I take everywhere with me. Even to meeting, concerts etc. and it tends to go off at the worst moments. I know I love having the graphs and the information I need to make changes.

I know I will always have a love hate relationship with my Dexcom because it shows me where I messed up or where I did things well. I know it provides the Dr. and I very important information. I know at times I tend to get rather irritated with things and I know with my up coming Endocrinologist appointment my irritation with my device tends to grow.  So I am hoping once I do get to my appointment I will find peace again with my Dexcom. I know having to constantly look at a device is complicated when I am busy working and sometimes I don't look at it very often and that's when things tend to sneak up on me. I know like when I am skydiving I need to check on it frequently but at times just keeping up with the Diabetes stuff plus getting ready to move can be a great deal to deal with.

I know I don't feel burned out just really wanting to be able to enjoy my time while I am here in Austin. I guess we all have out times of just pure annoyance but I also know I am lucky to have the equipment I need and the flexibility to use them as I need. I know I feel fortunate to have the option to deal with my Diabetes. I know I am sure I will be some what annoyed by all machines I have but I also know I am taking better care of myself by using them even though the drive me crazy.

Back to Low Pattern

I know at times my blood sugar will cooperate but I know recently even with all the changes to come. I am finding that I am back into a low pattern again even with constant basal changes I can't seem to keep up with the changes. I am lowering my dosages as fast as possible but at times finding the right dosage without going high over night can be challenging. I know I am reducing my basal at a very quick rate but I also know that my recent weight loss some planned and other was not planned. So I am sure I will be needing less and have been working out probably longer than I need to. I know this week I am working out a little shorter period of time and seeing how I do in the hopes that will help to avoid lows as much.

I also know I am doing more to get ready for my move as well and it can be difficult to plan for everything possible but all I can do is give it my best try. I know I have gotten so much done I won't have much left to do except possibly this next weekend which is great. I am always wanting to keep things simple as possible with this move and the next adventures to come but each time changes come most of the time I don't have a great pattern or solution except to test until I get it right. So I am working on it looking at graphs blood sugars and other information I do have. I know reviewing has helped quite a bit but at times it can just be overwhelming. I know keeping up with the changes right now feels like a full time job not including my real full time job. I am hoping to find some balance soon.

Blood Sugar and Up Coming Appointment

It seems like at times I do really well with my blood sugars and other times not so much. I know the past couple of months have been good but when I stop my regular exercise routine and then start again it usually equals some bad lows. I know I have had my share recently. I also know I am working hard to get my blood sugars to a safer range than I have been having. I know I have had several in the 30 range blood sugars even with adjustments. I also know then I have had some big bounces upwards after the fact because I was treating and it took quite a while to go back up. I know in the future when they have low dose glucagon shot I know I will be using them because at times it would be nice to not stay low for several hours and then feel not so great when I start to soar upwards again.

I know for me the worst part is that I have my blood draw on Saturday for my Endocrinologist visit on the 31st. I know my blood sugar have been higher because I was running higher during my vacation which I really did not put as much effort into watching as I normally would do. It was a really nice to just have some time where I was not checking my Dexcom every five minutes. Event though it was not the best decision it was nice in some ways. I never really take a vacation from it but even not obessessing about it as often was really nice. I have a feeling though that the lows and highs will balance themselves out. I am not forcing a big change but I am always so worried. I am also incredibly sad to say goodbye to my Favorite Endocrinologist I have ever had and my favorite PA who have made my life better and solved some really complicated issues. Every time I think back they always squeezed me in and let me send in Dexcom info in between appointments because they care about me as the patient. It was such a wonderful experience.

I know I have been so blessed to have found these Dr.'s who have made my life better and provided me the opportunity to encourage me to continue to do things I do love. I am sad to be leaving Austin in September but also incredibly excited for all the new opportunities to come. I know being unable to move up or have new opportunities has really affected my in some many ways so this opportunity to start again will be incredible. I don't think I have ever said I will miss two Dr.'s but I will and that really says a great deal about who they are as physician's. The staff is also incredible as well I really hit the lottery with this group and I am hoping I can find this in California as well. I know I would not handle a Dr. saying I am a bad patient or uncompliant. I will fire them if necessary but hoping I can just get a Dr. who was understanding as this group was because at the end of the day living my life according to my own terms is very important to me as the patient.  

Issues I am Creating and Big Changes Coming in My life

I know recently I have been facing one big challenge which is actually myself. I am in a not so great place when it comes to dealing with what I consider to be a high blood sugar. I know I have never dealt with high blood sugars because my physicians made me feel like I was a bad person because I was high. So when I went on vacation I was really bad about pre-bolusing as usual and it ended up causing several highs which made me feel really crummy. So now I am thankfully back to my normal routine including going to the gym and eating what I normally do. I have a Dr. appointment at the end of this month and with the high blood sugars so close to my blood draw I am worried about a higher A1c but it is normally in great range but I know I tend to get upset if I even feel like it will not be what I am used to.

So now I feel like I am back to where I started at the beginning of the year with the same issue and feeling completely deflated by it all. I know normally I am able to take on challenges like this and seem to be able to put things in a different perspective but this one is incredibly challenging. I have been tabling the feelings I feel when I get blood sugars I don't like I do know things happen we under bolus or we over bolus and we have a bad infusion set. I know my expectations for my Diabetes at time is highly unrealistic and this leaves me with a bigger burden of feeling like I am failing myself. I also can make my self feel burned out if I keep up this mind set. I know I need to work on this but I am so distracted by some really exciting changes coming my way.

I am making major changes in my life in this coming September. I am moving to Sonoma California to be with my long term boyfriend John after 3 1/2 years of being together. So I am looking forward to this change. Since I never unpacked my things I am now having to reduce what I have further to prepare for my move from Texas to California here shortly. So  now I am trying to get everything ready for my move and also make sure I have everything ready for my move and also prepare for my new life in California. I am so distracted by all these wonderful things and so I know I need to deal with this as well. I know I have so much going on at times it can be a little much. I know at the beginning of September my blog post will be lessened because of my move and all the changes in my life I will try and get back to my normal blogging as soon as possible. I am looking at reducing the amount of blogs because I am trying to get my life to a more manageable place.

Keep in mind I am in a place right now I am evaluating my life which will also include my blog as well. I do plan to keep on blogging but how much I am not sure as of yet. I will keep you all updated as much as I can during this process.

Sky Diving Jump Three

I know my third jump while on vacation was the most exciting. I was wearing a device called Altimeter which helps you to know how far you are at that moment. Normally you want to pull around 6-5 to give yourself enough time to land safely. I was using it to help me become aware of where I am in the process of the sky dive. I know when you solo sky dive you need to know when to pull the parachute and that is done by being altitude awareness. I know I was teaching my self every couple of seconds to turn my wrist so I could see where I was altitude wise as I was jumping. The teacher mike is an AFF instructor so we practiced normal things that are in the actual tests. I practiced pulling the chute and I also practiced looking at him and letting him know what I was going to do by saying it loudly and then doing it. That will help you to remember how to do it and also get you think to do it with little thought.



                                     

I know I was also able to track where I needed to land by looking for very specific landmarks that are close to the landing area. I know he pointed out a gas plant and other landmarks near by so I could see how I need to start to get myself in certain area as I am getting close to landing. We also practiced being able to land the parachute which I will learn how to do during my AFF training but pulling down on the toggles is not very easy for two people but I was still able to practice doing so. So I learned so much from what I was taught and I just so excited each time I get to do more. I know I have so much still to learn but thankfully most people are willing to share what they have learned from their experiences. I know when I was hanging out at Lodi near Stockton California I was able to meet so many experienced jumpers as well as newbies like me. I know I am proud I have not let my Diabetes stop me from pursuing things I love to do.  

Sky Diving and Diabetics Meet Up's

My second sky dive while on vacation was with Cowboy which is his nick name. He has been sky diving since he was in his teens. So this time I jumped I did not cross my arms across my chest when exiting the plane I actually was able to put my hands out immediately and stabilize myself to an extent in preparation for my AFF (solo skydiving training). I know I was worried that I could cause an issue but it turned out it was fine and I learned a great deal from just this one experience. I was also allowed to help with landing to an extent as well. He taught me a great deal of skills as well. I know on the plane ride my boyfriend John tested both our blood sugars before we jumped. Normally he has pockets on his pants which allow him to not lose the meter. I know I can use my SPIBELT as well for my meter. It was interesting to see the responses. On my first jump of my vacation I was actually sitting next to type 2 diabetic who has been jumping for years. He was diagnosed about a year ago and continues to sky dive which is great.

I know him and I talked after my jump and he learned John was a Type 1 as well. So it was interesting to learn of others enjoying the same things. I know we discussed a great deal of things diabetes related. It is nice to know there was also another Type 1 diabetic that jumps there as well. So I know I will be in good company. I know through this learning process it seems to be that I am getting better and better as I go. I have never jumped two days in a row and two jumps in a day. I know the future I will be jumping more often and I am looking forward to those days. I know this have been an incredible adventure for me personally but also a great success in the I have solve my Dexcom problem on my own and I also have been able to over come any lows that have popped up so far. I know I have had one sky dive I was downing sugar because my blood sugar was 116 just to be safe. I was shoving the candy down my throat and my blood sugar before was 146 which was better. I will be posting my first sky dive video tomorrow for you all to see.

Skydiving and Dexcom Sensors

I know when I did my past three Sky dives when I was on vacation I wanted to test and see if I could find a way to not ruin the Dexcom sensors. The good news that I have found a way to do so this time even with two days of jumps. I know last time I had the sensor on my arm which worked for an hour after my first sky dive.  So I know I wanted to test and see if I used different locations that I might be able to use the sensor after my jumps. I found that if I use my stomach the sensors were fully covered and seemed to work just fine. I know my sensor lasted the full 7 days and not one issue. I was thankful that I won't run every sensor if I do go sky diving and I love having my sensor work during my sky dives and after as well. I know with the force of the jumps it is a great deal of force for anyone medical device to withstand. I also thankfully have noticed no issues for my pump which I store in a Spy belt when I Sky dive. It seems to  protect it and also keep me from losing my insulin pump as well.

I know I hate to risk anything happening to the Dexcom or my insulin pump. I am really glad I did not give up on the Dexcom sensors. It is great that if you keep them covered while jumping it continues to work which gives me some peace of mind. I know I love having all my tools and it is great when you can solve issues on your own. I know my friend was asked to test how the Dexcom sensors do while Sky diving and I am glad I found out on my own. I am hoping this information will help others who love Sky diving like I do. I am officially addicted to Sky diving and I am looking forward to my up coming training.

My Second Sky Dive Experience

I am so incredibly happy about life in general after my vacation. I know I have so many things to be thankful for and I will share more as the time gets closer. I know my favorite parts of my vacation was the sky diving. I went sky diving on the fourth of July. My first jump that I did was with Max. I know my friend has told him I was interested in doing AFF (solo sky diving) in the future. So with this knowledge Max let me try new things that they normally don't during a regular tandem experience.  My friend John who is also a Type 1 diabetic was with me during my jump. It was interesting to see peoples reactions when John pulled out a test kit and we both tested. I know being a Type 1 Diabetic I want to make sure I make my sky diving experience as safe as possible. I know I learned that another person on the plane was a Type 2 Diabetic as well. I know most people seemed surprised that we both were Diabetics. I did let each tandem instructor know I was Diabetic before I went up.
                          

My friend John who is actually a person I have dated on and off for several years. We broke up and then started talking back at the beginning of the year only to find out that we both were interested in Sky diving. I know it was wonderful to share all these fun experiences with someone else. It is also nice to know some one who loves sky diving as much as I do. I know we both have more to worry about than the average sky diver because of our Diabetes but I am finding that it can be done safely with proper planning and precautions. I know John will be there when I start my AFF training soon. It will be nice to have someone there who understands all the obstacles, challenges and joys of it all. I know I really love that he gets it and that he has been there during some of my seizures and bad lows. I know it can't be easy for him watching me go through some of the though times but I know I have made so much progress in the past year.

I did jump two other times during my vacation which I will be discussing next week. I also will hopefully have my Sky diving video that John taped for me while also jumping. It was nice to know that other Diabetics are giving Sky diving a chance too. I know I have enjoyed every minute of my jumps and I know I will continue to do sky diving in the future. I know I never dreamed we would be jumping together but honestly it was really incredible as I move forward into working on completing my training.

Another Flight

I know I am all packed and ready for the flight to California tonight. I have everything packed and ready to go. I leave shortly after work tonight to head to the airport. I am ready for the whole process. I did notice that TSA changed the policy on how they want service dogs to go through the metal detectors which actually would mean that both her and I would end up being patted down. I know I normally take off all of her gear, leash and collar. The reason I do that is so the TSA does not need to pat her down. I also make sure I do not have anything that will set off the metal detector as well. I do my best to make the process as easy as possible when I do fly. The website says they want the serviced dogs on a leash through the process but the issue with that is that it will set off the metal detector every time we go through. So I  will be doing what I normally do and I am sure I will get through like I normally do. I always get my hands swabbed because I do not go through the Imaging system to check for bomb material which is fine.

I know once I get through the TSA part I can sit down relax and wait for my flight which should not be bad. Normally Duchess does her part to keep my blood sugars in range. I know every time we fly she seems to be extra vigilant with my alerts which I really appreciate. I know we have flown quite a few times together so I am never nervous about flying. I know my first time flying with Duchess I was really extremely nervous about how it would go but every thing went really well. I know I did research to make sure I was aware of the rules and guidelines for flying with Duchess. I know the first flight did have glitches like them insisting that Duchess has to have a card stating she was a service dog or some identification. I did not have that and was able to get around the issue. I know every time I fly it can go either way. Most of the time most people do not realize I have a disability or any issues but I do have issues. Thankfully they seem to observe her behavior and then let us go on our way.

I know I have to say I love flying with Southwest Airlines because they always take such great care of us when we fly. They try to make the process as easy as possible which makes me more willing to fly more often. I know I have had issues with other airlines but Southwest normally will get me bulk head seats which is really helpful because Duchess sits on my feet for the most part or my feet are around her. It can be tight and not much room to move but better than squeezing Duchess into an even smaller seat.