Issues That Surprised Me

I know most of the time I don't discuss my Celiac's disease frequently as I should. I know most of the time when I go out to eat I have a stream of worries such as are they using separate utensils when preparing my food, did the workers change there gloves when prepping my food, does the restaurant get how sick I can be from cross contamination. I know most of time I speak with the manager and seem to feel okay most of the time when ordering. I know when I do get exposed to gluten I really feel bad for an extended period of time. I know because I had been dealing with my Celiac's disease for so long it really has become automatic for me to ask the correct questions and hope the answers they are giving me are correct. I know that eating at home is much safer than eating out. I do tend to not eat out frequently to keep myself safe.

I know with the stress I have been experiencing that it also affecting my Celiacs disease as well. I know my body is not handling the stress well but I am really careful of what I have been eating. So I noticed that my stomach has been pissed off at me now for two days and seems to be only getting worse. I know that stress can cause symptoms to what I am experiencing. I know i am hoping that I will get to a place of less stress soon but until then I am doing several things. I am taking Emergen-C which is basically vitamins and high vitamin C. I am also trying to work out and also staying away from people who may be sick. I know you are more likely to get sick when stressed out. So I am hoping to not get sick while dealing with my crazy life right now.

I know the stress is making things difficult for Duchess but also me because I see how unhappy she has been at times this week. I know our normal routine is off with finding out I have 30 days to move. So I know all of this does affect her in a great deal of ways. I know she tends to mirror my emotions most of the time which can be bad. I know I have been busy rushing around trying to figure out what to do next. So I guess until I figure out how to handle everything at least I have a plan.

When Conflicts Show Up

I know this week has been incredibly difficult week for unrelated to my Diabetes. I know this stress sadly is already showing up in my graphs on my Dexcom . I know I test last night it was 200 so I bolused. After I bolused I thought to myself I wonder if that was right because my Dexcom goes off I am 78. I had just bolused some for some food plus a larger correction. So I had to scramble to eat enough food to cover what I over bolused for. I need to get better about making sure my hands are clean before testing but sometimes life gets in the way. I was so distracted by the other changes in my life I was not thinking through the process the way I should have been.

I know the recent events this week which feels like a bomb went off has reminded me how blessed I really am. I feel blessed I have a great medical team which I am so fortunate to have. I know I have a job and thankfully decent transportation. I have so many wonderful people in my life who care and I also have so many people's blogs who I follow. I feel like no matter what I am going through Diabetes related or not I am truly blessed in so many ways. I know a good friend who understands my Diabetes struggles has really helped me to find solutions that I needed to so quickly. I know the past three years have been amazing and I have learned so much from all of you.

I know I find it incredible that I can share my mistakes, and my success with you all. I know I feel blessed everyday when I wake up with my insulin pump, options to be able to upgrade to the latest technology and in general good access to what I need. I know we all get so busy at times it can be so easy to forge those times where you did not have these options. I know when I went back to college I struggled to pay for these items and I know thankfully I was able to make it through that period of time. I know I managed my Diabetes on my own and did well but I honestly like getting help when I need it as well. So looking back even though I hit some rough spots I have so much to be thankful for. I know during these times I don't know what I would do without Duchess. She has been helping me with the strange blood sugars caused by stress.

Should I Wait or Test Now ?

I know most of the time Duchess is right on with my alerts and a great deal of the time recently she has been alerting earlier than in the past which is quite helpful. There is times though I know the early alerts are difficult such as during an interview. The interview went well but during it Duchess was alerting most of the time and come back to my desk afterwards and my blood sugar was 103. Sure enough an half and an hour later I was 75. I know it really can make a difference when I am trying to focus If she is alerting constantly. I had to treat her and continue interviewing. I did not want to stop what I was doing and I glanced at my CGM which was reading 118 so I had a feeling it was an early alert. So I risked it and took a chance. Having a low blood sugar during an interview would be less than ideal. I do know I had to make a call.

I know since my interview was internal it was also less structured like the other candidates because I work with them already. I also worry that I did not answer the questions as well because I know them quite well. I was hoping that the one I work with frequently would be at the interview but he was not. So I have no clue if I will have a shot at a second interview. I did try my best but some times having a service dog is incredibly difficult. I have only had her at one interview previously. I know this being the second time it was challenging. I know Duchess probably noticed my energy and that my blood sugar was moving down. Thankfully my blood sugars stayed stable during the process. I know I was nervous and that does affect my blood sugar. I know regardless I am proud of myself for trying to move up in the company. I know there will always be challenges of having a service dog with you during an interview but I will always feel safer having her there with me.

Leave The Pet's at Home

I went to grocery store recently and saw another faker in the store. The dog was a boxer which is not used frequently as a service dog but could be used. The owner was shopping the dog had not vest and I find it interesting how the dog did not have a vest when I find it really makes things easier. I watched the dog carefully as I was reaching for some hummus. The dog then puts a block of cheese in its mouth. The owner seems oblivious that her so called service dog was breaking all rules. A service dog should not be trying to eat the food off the floor or in the store in general. The dog seemed to listen to basic commands pretty well but I was really disappointed that someone thought they could bring their pet into the store and it would be fine. It makes Duchess look bad when your dog puts cheese in its mouth when we are in the store. Knowing my luck the person would probably try to blame Duchess for her dogs wrong doing.

I really wish people would just leave your pets at home. Even though they may be well behaved they have not been trained how to handle situations such as a grocery store or a mall for example. Duchess had plenty of training and handles those situations well. I just wish that people understood why taking your dog to the store jeopardizes my rights to have my service dog with me in the future. I depend upon Duchess more than I like to admit but it works for me. I just wish people who had pets could leave them at home where they are most comfortable and happy. There is not need for them to be everywhere with you I know from experience it is not all that much fun and I know taking Duchess everywhere requires a great deal of responsibility and concerns for her safety as well. I know most pet's are not able to handle the stress of handling places like a grocery store when they are only used to their home.

When Things Get in the Way

I have been struggling with some events that happened at work recently. I decided to apply for a position my coworker had. She just left for another job and so they are going to be looking for a replacement. I know I trained my coworker on a great deal of things she did in her job daily. When I was under different management previously they did not want us to know each others job. I know this has not helped when I am applying for her job but the interesting part is that most of things I have taught her were used as part of the job she had. So I applied the director supported me applying my manager thought I should not apply. I think it relates back to some of the seizures and bad lows at work. I know that will always play a part in me not being able to move up in my job to an extent.

The interesting part is that it would actually be cheaper for them to train me on the two things I am not as familiar with than to train someone new to the University. So my stress levels have been climbing. I know I had told the director of my section that I was applying so i felt obligated even though my manager did not support my decision to apply. So out of principal I applied because I said I was going to. I know I have worked the day after I got out of the hospital for a seizure in the past and through Sunday that week. I am really surprised now that they doubt my ability to do the job efficiently. I know my manager told me that other positions will be available in the future I could apply for. I have hear this my whole career and nothing has ever come from these so called open positions that could open up in the future.

I know right now we are going to be at full capacity and I don't see them adding more positions so at this point there is no where for me to go except to look at other potions in the University. The issue with that is having Duchess at work has been so difficult. Changing to a new position is overwhelming because I need to educate them but also deal with more complaints or issues that could arise. I know I want more opportunities but at times just even thinking about it is overwhelming. I am thinking it might be time to leave for other opportunities because I fear I will not have any opportunities to advance. I know I do my best to manage my Diabetes but it has never been easy. So at this point I know moving on seems like the only way I may be able to advance.

Safety for our Furry Friends

                   

I recently was given the opportunity to try a new product Puppy Treads from Handi-Ramp. This product you can use on steps, floors and tiles. Duchess is normally going about a hundred miles an hour out the dog door but coming back into the house she slides across the floor and actually hits the couch. Since she had had issues with her legs from injuries I am always trying to keep her safe. I put the product at the door coming back in the house and Duchess is no longer sliding across the floor like she was. Even when wet she still not sliding across the floor and she had not hit the couch. I know I have moved the couch back before but when it was wet outside Duchess would still run into the couch. So this product has worked really well.  I noticed that I am not slipping on the product barefooted or in socks. So it does feel safer than before when Duchess would come rushing into the house.

        https://www.handiramp.com/   Company Website

                                                             

I know I like to keep Duchess safe from as much as possible. Duchess can be very accident prone at times so this product has worked really well in my home. I know the stickers are easy to apply and don't leave a residue when being removed . I have noticed that the product is wearing well and I have not seen any damage from Duchess running in and out the dog door. She is fairly rough on this area of the house. I know the product comes in Clear, Black and Grey. I know I used the clear and it also is easily cleaned as well. My dog door is in the kitchen area so I need to be able to wipe it down with a mop and it has worked really well for what I needed.I know this product would be very useful on hardwood floors and stairs. I have slide down hardwood stairs at one time. So keep our furry friends safe is always a concern. I know Duchess tends to injure her legs so easily if I had stairs I would have these on my stairs personally.

This company sells a great deal of products from dog ramp, dog treads, and other safety products. The installation process is shown above and very simple. I had no sticky residue on my hands which was so nice. I need to clarify I did receive a free sample and was not paid to blog about the items. the opinions are mine and no the companies.

I would not recommend a product unless I found it useful. I know I spend so much of my time keeping Duchess safe. She will 7 in July so as she is aging I am trying to make sure she is safe and she is my best friend. I think this is good for any dog. I know they can tear ligaments and other leg injuries quite easily and I know Duchess has had these issues. So taking the time to purchase a product like this could be beneficial.


Discount Code for blog readers is : BLOG2015 for 10% off


                                         

When You Know The Stress is Coming

I know at times it so easy to forget how much Duchess is paying attention. I know this week and the next couple of months will be incredibly stressful for me personally. At work again a coworker has transferred to another part of the University so that means that I am the only person who actually process work and answers emails for the department. So know I am on my own with very little help from the other people who work in the department. So my stress level has risen substantially the last couple of days. I know Duchess tends to pick up on my stress and stays right next to me all day. I know last night when I was at the gym she could not seem to get close enough at times to her liking. She has really gotten even better at alerting me at the gym and in general does not miss lows while I am working out which is incredibly wonderful for me.

I am not sure how I well I will handle the constant stress but thankfully working out does help. I am not happy that I am the only person who responds for the department. So technically I am the only person for the whole University which is really way too much for one person. I still have my other jobs as well so I am not sure how well I will be able to keep up with all the work and then people will be out on vacation as well. I know there will be no coverage for me while I am gone on vacation which means I will be at least a week behind on work when I return from my vacation which is less than ideal. I know Duchess and me will really need to work together as a team to keep me safe. I know I am trying my best to keep my stress down but it is a great deal of pressure when you have not one person working to help with all the work that will be piling up.

I know me continually working with Duchess on our bond and other aspects will now be vital to my own personal safety. I also know that my workouts are now even more important to keeping the lows at bay. I know I am going to do my best which is all I can do at this point.

When Things Take A Turn For the Worse

I know during blog week last week. I noticed some things that are leaving me uneasy. I know I have been working out regularly at the gym now for a year. I have been doing great keeping my eating disorder in check or at least I thought so. I know when my eating disorder starts up I know I start to think about how I should be working out today. I should not have a cheat day and I should avoid all my favorites because those extra pounds will really difficult to work off. I know I have lost quite a bit of weight in the past two months. I know I was trying to lose some weight for sky diving but I am taking it to a whole new level. I know I have lost weight but I have not idea how much I weight because that is one of the biggest triggers is knowing my weight. So when I get weighed at appointments I look away so I don't know. I know I get so obsessed with numbers at times it is really best for me to not know. I can tell if I am gaining weight by my clothes.

So now I am trying my best to fight off the thoughts in my head about I should be working out 7 days a week and for several hours a day. It is incredibly easy for me to fall back into my pattern of thinking and then into action. I know for example this weekend I was thinking about how I didn't need to have my cheat day and how much more I would lose if I skipped it this week. I know I am not to where I stop eating as much but I will head there if I can't get things under control quickly. I have went several years with no real issues but I am back into dangerous territory.

I know I might need to get help this time If I am unable to get my thought process back to normal. I know when I stated to lose a little weight I was not planning to lose the amount I have so far. I do feel fine in some ways right now but I know I need to watch my though process and my exercise. Normally I start to exercise excessively and then I start to eat less and less each day. In fact most of the time I eat only enough to make it through working out and not much more. I might need help if I continue forward in this direction. I know it wont hurt to get help but I know I want to teach myself how to get myself back on track so I can keep myself healthy.

Diabetes Blog Week Post#5 - Favorites and Motivations

Diabetes Blog Week Post #6

Click for the Favorites and Motivations - Saturday 5/16 Link List.
If you have been blogging for a while, what is your favorite sentence or blog post that you have ever written?  Is it diabetes related or just life related?  If you are a new blogger and don't have a favorite yet, tell us what motivated you to start sharing your story by writing a blog?  (Thank you Laddie of Test Guess and Go for suggesting this topic.)

My Favorite blog spot I have written was a post that I felt I put a great deal of myself into the blog. It felt incredible to put my words into a blog instead of carrying it around on my shoulders. I tend to do this way too much. I also tend to be incredibly overly critical of myself even when I am doing my best I can. I know discussing complications has really been the most difficult part for me to write but I would not change a thing because I have gotten emails from others struggling with similar issues who say my blog helped them.  My goal of my blog is to make sure others don't feel alone in dealing with Diabetes.

http://tarraandduchess.blogspot.com/2015/01/twisted-in-thoughts.html


I know I still feel so incredibly proud of this blog. I posted it back in January of this year. I know I worked on it for quite a while before I actually posted it. I know it is one of my favorite blogs this year but after writing blog for three years it is very difficult when I have written 660 blog posts so far. I know I have to say starting my blog has been the best decision for me and I thank everyone has spent time reading mine. I love being part of such an incredible group of people.

Diabetes Blog Week- Post 5 Wildcard

Diabetes Blog Week Post#5 - Wildcard

Click for the Crazy Stories Wildcard Link List.
Diabetes can sure bring some crazy moments.  So tell us your Top 3 craziest D related stories!  If you can't think of three, don't worry.  We're just as happy with one or two . . . .   (Thank you Maria M of My Life: A Long Trip with T1D for this topic.)


I know my life with Duchess is always interesting to say the least. My life with Duchess is so much better in so many ways. She has kept me safe over the past couple of years. She constantly brings humor to my life in so many ways as well. I think at times I get way too serious and she reminds me to not be too serious. I need to work on that but I also know that working in accounting tends to be very serious and so it happens. We do have fun in my office but we always have so much to do. I know during another recent meeting Duchess ended up being the center of attention.

This meeting was pretty serious as we are approaching the busiest time of year at work for all of us. So the director was talking and then Duchess decides that she is not amused with being in the meeting. So next thing I know I hear this grunting noise. The interesting thing is an employee is making a very similar noise to what Duchess was. I am not sure if she was trying to copy the person or was randomly making the noises. So she continued on and off to make the noises. Then finally the director thought it was the employee making that noise and asked them if they needed to run to the restroom they could. Then everyone in the room starts laughing. Another employee then says I actually think that was Duchess making the noises. I am sitting there just dying because the timing of the noises. I know everyone in the room was laughing.

There was a meeting about two months ago where we had Texas Barbecue for lunch. Then had our meeting. So I ate then headed into the meeting. We were having the meeting and our guest speaker started his speech. Just as he started Duchess was making a noise actually very similar to the sound your stomach makes when upset. My boss was looking at our guest speaker after the noise got louder and louder. Then Duchess make another weird noise. Then my Director ask the speaker if he was okay. Then he said it was not his stomach making the noise and the whole room full of people started laughing. Leave it to Duchess to make everyone laugh. I know thankfully she was quite the rest of the meeting but I know it really lightened up the mood after that.

I know I was riding the bus the other day and my shirt moved up further on my arm. My Dexcom sensor was quite noticeable. I know the woman on the bus next to me said why would you attach such an ugly thing to your arm. I told her that it was a cgm and that I used it to help me manage my Diabetes more efficiently. I showed her the graphs and how it worked. The woman said she had never heard of this technology before and she had a niece or nephew with Diabetes. I know she said she was now curious as to why they were not using this same technology. I gave her Dexcom's website address so she could pass on the information to family. I know after the woman got off the bus I had to laugh I am so used to wearing it I tend to forget how goofy it looks to wear it on your arms. So I know people who have not idea it is a sensor really must think I am crazy to an extent.

Diabete Blog Week #4 - Changes

Diabetes Blog Week#4- Changes

Click for the Changes - Thursday 5/14 Link List.
Today let's talk about changes, in one of two ways.  Either tell us what you'd most like to see change about diabetes, in any way.  This can be management tools, devices, medications, people's perceptions, your own feelings – anything at all that you feel could use changing.  OR reflect back on some changes you or your loved one has seen or been through since being diagnosed with diabetes.  Were they expected or did they surprise you?

I know there is so many things I would love to see change. I know I wish all patients has a medical team like my own. This team every visit asks me how I am doing. This was the first time in 30 some years and I had never been asked how are things outside of the Diabetes. I know I have suffered from depression over the years and it was nice to be asked that question. It also creates a good dialogue between the patient and physician if you are depressed or just feeling overwhelmed. I know I need to feel like they care and want to help me achieve the best results even when times are really tough. 

I know I spent 4 years of my teenage years in a depression and no one noticed till the end of the 4th year. I know life is always so busy it can be really easy to miss when some one is depressed. I know the more they address the issues the less likely we as the patients are to get burned out or just plain give up. I know my previous Endocrinologist never seemed to address the fact that there is a chance the patient is depressed or having issues with mental issues while dealing with a chronic illness. I am thankful they are starting to focus more on the patients mental health now but we have so far to go to make sure we all can be successful patients.

I know when I get burned out I am normally depressed or just plain tired. I know I do my best to prevent burn out but carrying around so much responsibility is tough for anyone. We don't get days off or vacations so addressing the mental side of things in so incredibly important. Even though I have an Alc I have always dreamed of I still find it difficult to keep up with the demands of my health. I know we all will struggle but it would be nice if more Dr. 's stopped to ask the important questions that keep patients working on keep their Diabetes in good control. I know I wish I had this back when I was a teenage because I know I really needed it back then. 

Diabetes Blog Week Post-#3 Clean It Out

Diabetes Blog Week Post#3- Clean It Out

Click for the Clean it Out - Wednesday 5/13 Link List.
Yesterday we kept stuff in, so today let's clear stuff out.  What is in your diabetic closet that needs to be cleaned out?  This can be an actual physical belonging, or it can be something you're mentally or emotionally hanging on to.  Why are you keeping it and why do you need to get rid of it?  (Thank you Rick of RA Diabetes for this topic suggestion.)

I know over the years I have been listed as uncompliant in my medical files. The saddest part is that I was trying. I know now even with the best A1c I have ever had I know my previous Endocrinologist listed me as uncompliant Even though I worked really hard on reviewing my number and making changes as necessary. I know my current family practice Dr. lists me as uncompliant because of the fact I have complications and even thought my A1c is excellent. I work very hard to keep lows at bay and keep my Retinopathy under control in fact I only see the Retina Specialist twice a year because it is considered stable currently.

I know it infuriates me that they make assumptions the minute you mention complications which to some Dr.'s means I don't try, don't test and don't care but I find it insulting that they write me off. They tend to not give patients the benefit of the doubt. I know that so many people including nurses feel that they are free to comment negatively to the patient because you have complications. I wish they would teach physicians not to use the word uncompliant with Diabetic patients. I know I do request my medical records and I do read what they say. I have fired Dr.'s after reading the medical records. I hire them for a service not for judgement.

I know I wish more Dr.'s would understand that being a Diabetic is not easy and getting perfect numbers is not possible. I also wish they would at least look at my current A1c. I know I went to my current eye Dr.  who referred me to my  current Retina Specialist. I know I told him my Alc has been been below 7 for 7 years now. I happened that day to have a copy of my A1c and he seemed shocked. I know he mentioned most of his patients A1c is not that great but was surprised I had Retinopathy. I know Dr.'s are human but I have personally experienced way too much assuming and not enough checking by Dr.'s the past couple of years. I really wish they would move toward not using the word uncompliant because it is really defeating statement to the patients who really are trying.

I know I can't change much except addressing the Dr. I currently see. I have requested that one Dr. remove the word uncompliant from my file because I showed him my A1c and my graphs all the Diabetes data. I don't find it fair that I am automatically considered to be a bad patient when I work so hard. I am trying to let this go emotionally but I know it will take time to get over the fact that I can't change all Dr.'s. I am hoping that some day they won't use that term about any Diabetic but for now I can only hope that someday that is the case.

Blog Week Post #2 Keep it to Yourself

                                               
  Blog Week Post #2 Keeping it to yourself

Click for the Keep it to Yourself - Tuesday 5/12 Link List.
Many of us share lots of aspects of our diabetes lives online for the world to see.  What are some of the aspects of diabetes that you choose to keep private from the internet?  Or from your family and friends?  Why is it important to keep it to yourself?  (This is not an attempt to get you out of your comfort zone.  There is no need to elaborate or tell personal stories related to these aspects.  Simply let us know what kinds of stories we will never hear you tell, and why you won't tell them.) (Thank you Scott E of Rolling in the D for this topic.)


I know I have always prided myself on sharing everything including the moments of scary which I have had quite a few of the past seven year in particular. The certain areas I don't share on my blogs is who I am dating and if I am single etc. I feel that if I was married I might share a small bit but I am most comfortable just leaving that information out. I know another area I won't share is other conditions outside my Diabetes except the one's that are other Endocrine issues.

I know I do have Rheumatoid Arthritis, Celiac's Disease, Diabetic Retinopathy and Hypoglycemia Unawareness. I have always shared as I develop complications right away on my blog. I have found that I feel better if I share as it is happening. I know I did with my Retinopathy Diagnosis but I had Hypoglycemia for several years before I started my blog. I like to share as it happens because at one time I was looking for another person who was going through the same complication but found no blogs. That is why I started blogging back in May of 2012. Sharing my Diabetes related information is wonderful in that I can put this stuff I am carrying around online instead of on my own shoulders.

I know this past year in January I would not disclose what type of procedure I was having because it was not Diabetes related but I blogged about it because it was causing many issues for me with my Diabetes. I feel that sharing exactly the issue was best kept to myself because I know I needed the privacy I know I wished I could share but I know that it really was best left unsaid. I am doing so much better now with the quick procedure that was done and my graphs on my Dexcom are almost back to they way they were back when I first started on the Dexcom. I honestly had no idea how much the issues was causing issues with my Diabetes which does happen. I am thankful I had a wonderful Dr. who my Endocrinologist recommended. I know I think we all have some things that are just not appropriate for our blogs. I know I felt better in the long run not discussing it and I know having some privacy is really nice in times like these.

I know I am hoping you all understand the reasoning behind not sharing my procedure and my dating life because I think that information might create issues. I know if you list a person on your blog anyone can read it and so you also need to think about them. So by leaving the off the blog I can discuss them without naming them but I find it is just better to keep my that off my blog and just in my personal life. There will always be parts of our lives we won't share. 

Diabetes Blog Week " I Can"

                                                

Yeah Diabetes Blog Week: Let’s get started!  Today’s topic is I Can.  In the UK, there was a diabetes blog theme of "I can...”  that participants found wonderfully empowering.  So lets kick things off this year by looking at the positive side of our lives with diabetes.  What have you or your loved one accomplished, despite having diabetes, that you weren't sure you could?  Or what have you done that you've been particularly proud of?  Or what good thing has diabetes brought into your life?  (Thank you to the anonymous person who submitted this topic suggestion.)



I know I wake up each day knowing that their will always be challenges for everyone including Diabetics. I really wish that my father would understand it's not 1980 anymore. My father when I wanted to run a half marathon said it was too dangerous and Diabetics should not be running half marathons but I disagree I know plenty who have. I am still planning to run a half marathon but after I explore some other adventures I want to go on. I know a big part of the reason my father thinks this is because I can't feel lows but he also has only seen the occasional low when I visit at Christmas so he really has not real concept of what my life is like today. I did have a low that needed assistance but my dad could have given me a glucagon shot and been fine. 

I know each year my goal is always the same to reduce my lows and I get better at doing so the longer I have had Hypoglycemia Unawareness. I know I will have added precautions and planning even for non exercise activities. I am okay with that because you get used to those changes. I know my father about lost it when I told him next year I am planning to go to California to get Accelerated Free Fall training basically solo skydiving. I know most people are thinking wow that is dangerous. I know most of the adrenaline junkie activities I love are dangerous but I am never as happy as when I am going on my next adrenaline rush. I know I also plan for example zip lining, and a couple new adventures as well. I know I won't let Diabetes win.

I know I will have critics who think I am reckless or foolish but I know me and what I love. Life is about living the life you want and some times getting the adrenaline rush is exactly what I needed. I know I went sky diving back in March and I was in a high for three days afterwards and I never stopped smiling. I felt like I had my zest for life back and I am so know this is what I have been missing in my life. I know some of my family is like that is awesome you love sky diving and others are like you can't do that. I know I can and I will be doing it. The issue for me normally isn't me doubting that I can do it but normally my family or others.

I do plan on running a half marathon but that has been put on hold while I pursue skydiving for a while. I do plan on pushing myself to achieve my goals and dreams. I have been told no so many times in my life but I have always been able to accomplish these goals. I know when my Endocrinologist tells me that I can go skydiving I should be fine. I know I told her my plan I have for skydiving and she looked at my graph for the day and she said I looked great. I also get better at planning these activities. Also a word of advice don't have the Dr. notate in your file you are sky diving if you injure yourself the insurance won't cover it. 

I am so over joyed that I am going to do skydiving because I can and honestly I deserve to be happy like any other person does. I am tired of my father trying to trap me into the thought process of the time I was diagnosed where they limited everything in life. I know with all these incredible Diabetic athletes why could I not. I know my body has always given me so many challenges but I do not give up easily and I will continue to search for my next crazy fun activity because life is so much better when I do.

When Juggling Several Conditions at Once

I know at time it is so easy forget I even have Rheumatoid Arthritis since I was 19. I know most of the time it is just in the background and I don't have to do much. I know since my last flare up I have never really got back to where I was previously. I know I have noticed changes in my hands and my ability to open the plastic bags in the produce section is almost always too much for me to handle. I know I am thrilled with my current medication but it seems to work okay but I am worried about the long term changes with my hands. I know recently I have noticed that in the mornings when I am at my stiff I have trouble opening doors now and I have noticed it can at times be painful to be typing on the computer in the mornings until I have gotten my joints loosened up. I know I want Duchess to help at times by pressing the button on the door but they are so stiff she can't. So I am stuck having to hit the button which hurts. So I know I need to discuss this with my Dr. next week.

I know she has always considered my RA to be mild and not even moderate but with the recent changes I am not sure what to think. I know I work out frequently but normally I seem to handle it pretty well. I do know that the recent changes make me really nervous that I won't get back to the way things used to be. I know my current medication Methotrexate worked really well at first but not so much now. I know it is supposed to help stop the progression of my RA but I feel like that is not the case currently. Another issue I have found is that normally with Methotrexate you can't use advil. Sadly my Dexcom will not tolerate the use of acetaminophen. So basically if I hurt myself I can't use any pain relief medications.

I know I tend to be clumsy at times and I have had to just grin and bear it but at other times I take the risk and take the Advil. I know this is not recommended because it reduces the effectiveness of the Methotrexate. So I have only done it once or twice. So now I am questioning in general what I can do. I am hoping my Dr. will help me find a solution but I am feeling more and more like this current medication is not for me. I know I am willing to try new medications with the hopes they last right up to when I can take my next dose. I know most of the time I feel the medication wearing off on Tuesday night and I can't take more till Thursday night so technically I might just need a higher dosage but trying to juggle my needs, need to avoid Tylenol because of the Dexcom just makes things even more complicated. 

I know at times I worry way too much about my collection of autoimmune disorders I am collecting which include Diabetes, Rheumatoid Arthritis, and Celiac's disease. I know my conditions tend to show up in ways I am not always expecting but hopefully I can find some relief soon.

Messing with the Dexcom Numbers

I love the concept of the Dexcom and what it can do for most people. I know I am the exception in that my numbers on the Dexcom tend to inaccurate for example last nigh. I ate dinner as usual and I head to the gym. I start working out and I expect to see my blood sugars rise during the beginning of my work out since I do not bolus for my meal before going to the gym. So I start working out and I am 20 minutest into my workout and I look at my Dexcom and it has one pointed straight up but I was expecting to see my Dexcom showing that it was leveling off and will be showing a drop. So I continued working out another five minutes. Then Duchess runs over to my machine and stares at me. I know the look when I need to check. So I finish the last two minutes and then test. Sure enough I was actually 69 and the Dexcom still had me moving up when I was actually low.

I know during these times having Duchess is really important. A great deal of the time my Dexcom will say it is moving up quickly when it is not most of the time. So I always test to see where I actually am. I know even when I have had bad lows where I needed assistance normally 40 minutes after the event the Dexcom finally catches up. I am not sure why there is such a delay but I also know that Medtronic's CGM is even worse for me. So I do the best I can with the information I have. I have recently moved my CGM blood sugar down when I start working out. By starting my blood sugar levels at a lower than my actual number has helped improve the accuracy of the alerts some what I am seeing it alert ten minutes after my low instead of 40 minutes. I have not run into any issues with doing so. I was worried about highs but that has not been an issue so far.

Changing Needs

I know recently I have noticed that my Rheumatoid Arthritis medication does not seem to be working as well as it once was. I am not sure if I need a higher dosage or just need to change medications. I know the Methotrexate for the most part has worked well but it really has some down sides to taking this medication. I do lose more of my hair than normal, it tend to catch more colds and  I can't drink more than two drinks in one week. I know most of the time it seems to work okay but an issue I have noticed is that by Wednesday of each week I can feel more pain and stiffness. It is like the medication stops on Tuesday evening and I am unable to take more until Thursday evening. I know each morning I have noticed that I have had increasing difficulty with my hands and being able to get my body to function like normal. So I know my up coming appointment with my Rheumatologist I know I have some issue to discuss.

I am not really sure what the Dr. is going to recommend but after a year of the Methotrexate I am not feeling like it is for me. I am hoping she is willing to help me find a drug that will not have as many restrictions like Methotrexate does such as I have to limit sun exposure which is difficult when living in Texas. I also need to avoid people who are sick because it does suppress the immune system. Then I am not able to even enjoy the occasional drink with friends because it can elevate the levels of your liver which is not good.  So I know I am not really happy at this point and I am hoping they have other options available but I also know my insurance only covers one or two RA medications currently the rest are not covered. So my choices are limited which does not help. All I know is that today at work I have needed to get up more because my medication does seem effective enough. Hoping I can get some results I need soon.

My Retinopathy Experience

I know I have been thinking back to my Retinopathy Diagnosis several years ago. I know I started my blog around the time my Retinopathy showed up in my life. I remember I woke up one morning and noticed black spots in my vision which were small hemorrhages in my eye. I went to the eye Dr. that day because I was concerned. He took one look and said that I had a Retina Detachment. So I was told with my eyes dilated I needed to go to the Retina Specialist now.  So I left the office very scared. I know they rushed me back immediately when I arrived at the Retina Specialist office. The nurse comes in and starts to ask me questions. I know she said they believe I have Retinopathy and I knew that was most likely the case. The nurse then says to me I guess you should have taken better care of yourself. I told the nurse that was not the case and I did not deserve to be treated this way. I told her to leave her judgement at the door.

Next thing the Dr. comes in and looks at my eye. He says the good news is that I don't have a Retina Detachment but I do have Retinopathy. I also had quite a few new blood vessels which are leaking and hemorrhaging. So they say I need to be treated immediately. The Dr. says to help stop of the bleeding I need to have an injection into my eye. I know when he said that I was shocked that was what they were going to do. I have always had a thing about anything being close to my eye so it was difficult. I hated the injections they were not painful but they worked really well. Then I was told I needed to come back for more procedures which they used dyes which could show the blood flow in the eyes called an angiogram. They also did regular pictures and other exams. I know it was an overwhelming experience and I know I was extremely scared at the time. I decided that I would take things one day at a time. I also knew that I wanted to make sure my A1c was under 6.5 to prevent any further complications and I actually had been in that range for several years so I just needed to make sure I stayed in range.

I know they then said I needed laser procedures done which I was okay with. I had no idea that it could be as painful as it was. I also had no idea that my Retina specialist at the time was not following the standard procedure for doing laser procedures. He had me laying back in a chair trying to laser my eye but that did not work because my eye was watering the whole time. Normally you are in an up right position sitting as the Dr. does the laser procedure. I know my Dr. then told me I needed to have a Vitrecotomy since the laser was not working. I know that seemed wrong he only tried twice to laser my eyes. So I went to get a second opinion. I meet another young woman who had Retinopathy and she spent time talking with me. I found out that if you do have a Vitrectomy you could also need further surgeries and she had several. She told me to try and see if the laser procedures worked first and not to jump into surgery.

So I took her advice. I changed Retina Specialist and he did laser procedures and  a year and half later I have had not procedures done and no bleeding. So I know the surgery seems like a good idea but for me I knew I just wanted to avoid the surgery if at all possible. So for me it worked. I know my experience is not typical but we need to all communicate what we need. For me avoiding surgery has been a blessing and I today still have 20/20 vision and no new blood vessel growth in my eyes. I do work everyday to keep my eyes healthy by keep my Alc in a good range and exercising.

I know this journey was scary and I encourage everyone to share because I know I did not find any one sharing their experiences several years ago. It can be incredibly scary but I know for me I found taking it one day at a time made it all manageable. I also did a great deal of research which helped me have realistic expectations. I know I felt better knowing about procedures before they were done. So I made it a point to read up and educate myself. I know I don't know what I would have done without my friend online who shared her experience. I know I made the decisions I needed to make for me. I know I learned I need to advocate for myself as well. I know some of the best advice my Dr. gave me is to sleep on two pillows to help keep blood from flowing into your field of vision when sleeping. Most hemorrhages happen when you are asleep.  My first Retina Specialist did not share this advice so I felt he just was their for the money always wanting me to go for a surgery. I know I have never been happier to fire a Dr. than that one.

I know today my eyes are doing great and I hope to see them continue to be in good condition. I know I have learned so much from my experience. I also did not realize how strong I was until I walked this road alone. I know I hope everyone continues to share their experiences because it means the world to someone who is going through it completely scared. I know that my combination of therapies of injections, laser and keeping A1c down have all helped me to get my Retinopathy stable and stay stable the past several years.

35 Years Where Did The Time Go

I know last year I really was struggling with my Diaversary but this year is so much different. I know my goal this year was to make my Diaversary a little more fun. I know growing up we never celebrated me making it another year or did anything on the date. In fact I don't know the exact date of my diagnosis. My mother would have possible know the date but she passed away seven years ago. So I have not idea except that my mother told me I was diagnosed when I was 18 months old at all my Dr. appointments. I was diagnosed back in 1980 boy does this make me feel old but back to the subject at hand. So this I woke up that day feeling completely in awe that I have Type 1 Diabetes and that no matter what has happened even with dealing with complications I feel like I have accomplished a great deal. I know I am so happy that my Retinopathy has been stable that my vision is still 20/20 even with my Retinopathy. I am also proud that I found solutions for all the issues my Diabetes has thrown at me.

I know I have done the best I can over the years and I am proud that even with my Hypoglycemia Unawareness that it has not stopped me. I still jump out of planes, run and exercise like everyone else. The only thing that has changed is that I have to pre-plan everything out but at the end of the day it is really a small change. I know I have had to learn so much from my Hypoglycemia Unawareness it has taught me to appreciate things even more. It has taught me to really pay more attention to what foods and I am eating and how it affects my blood sugar. I know through it all I am still shocked it has been 35 years. I know I am proud and I know my mother would have been proud as well.

I know my life with Type 1 Diabetes has never been easy and will continue to be full of challenges. i know my Diabetes has taught me to be incredibly resourceful and creative in finding solutions. I know I also owe my parents a great deal gratitude for doing an exceptional job of managing my Type 1 Diabetes. They were incredible in their dedication. I also admire how they found ways to make the worst part of Diabetes more fun when ever possible. I am sitting here today in awe of it all. I also I am thankful that I continue to work at my Diabetes. I know I would not be the same person today without my Diabetes and I am celebrating that today. I am also celebrating I have been blogging for three years now. It is incredible how much my blog has changed my life for the better as well. Thank you all for reading and following me on my journey.

Stress In Every Area

I know most days recently I have been so thankful to see my numbers getting closer to where it used to be since my procedure I had back in January which I am thankful I went through with. I know I am seeing my blood sugars to have less spikes and less quick rises in general and I can go hours now staying fairly level which is a relief. I know it used to be easier before all this started several years ago. I know if I can get back to where I was things were much easier in general and I did not have to do as much basal changes which is really nice. I know I was really happy to know that my Dr. said my numbers were great and that there was no changes necessary yesterday.

I know this past week I have experienced several really intense conversations and other issues have arisen that have caused me issue with sleep and other blood sugar issues. I know yesterday I was frustrated dealing with some issues I have been working on for the past month and I am still working on getting things sorted out. It has been difficult with being told the wrong information then having to redo paper work again. So it has been a tough week emotionally and physically as well. I have been extending my work outs and also been eating less carbohydrates when possible. I am trying to lose some weight not too much though. I have noticed the more I care about an issue the more it tends to wreck my blood sugars. Last night for example I had a low of 54 and I over treated it but did bolus for what I did over eat. Then my Dexcom kept trying to make my blood sugar high when it was actually 130 it kept saying I was 180. I know both dexcom recievers were going off and it drove me crazy last night.

I know when I am dealing with difficult issues in every part of my life it can be very overwhelming to also throw my Diabetes into the mix as well. I know I have learned that I need to some times be more careful during these times to not just give in and over treat my lows or over bolus because I don't want to deal with a high because the rest of my life is stressful. At times I handle these situations better but the stress was in every area of my life this week. I know thankfully Duchess has been super at alerting to my changing blood sugars and has really helped me keep my blood sugars in range as much as possible. I know these time I am so thankful to have her with me. I know it seems strange but on a stressful day I can pet her and play with her and everything seems so much more manageable.