Interesting First Week

Things at my new work have been going great so far but I can already see some interesting challenges ahead. I am brand new and a person is already leaving the department. I have a feeling it was related to issues with another department and nothing internal. Right now the University is shuffling departments around internally so I have a feeling this person leaving was related to that recent changes. I know my department has various new team members which is great for me because they have done so much for me so far. I know this time I got asked for what office supplies I wanted and they actually arrived today at my office. It was really nice not to have to wait six months on the job before being asked what I needed. I am not sure what the other person leaving will impact me but I have a feeling because I have experience in the area this person had that could mean that I would get a promotion but honestly I am really liking the section I am in right now.

The best parts of my new job is that I work in a house and my desk is right by the back door which has access to the back yard. So it makes it ideal when having to take Duchess out. I know I also work right next to the kitchen which is ideal for storing extra food and the fridge is right there. So I can store my extra supplies and juice boxes. I know I previously at my old job had to request a fridge but this time I don't need to ask for any accommodation because the house is really ideal for Duchess. Honestly Duchess loves that at lunch I can take her outside and play in the yard. Also last Friday my coworker and I played soccer with Duchess and she was incredibly happy. She really loved her new work location but also seems to love how homey the house is. I know I can take my lunch break in the living room and also relax for an hour. My boss has a policy that no lunch break is skipped. So we have to have lunches which equal happier staff. So I also have to say that my boss is incredible.

She is familiar with service dog do's and don't s.  She also has been great in helping take on some issues that have come up. I know my position helps three other sections out in doing tasks but they have been sending tasks without asking my boss first so that she can review it. She wants to give me time to adjust and also finish all my training as well. She also is working on sending out a message to all staff about not petting service dogs etc. to educate everyone. Which takes the stress off me which is very helpful. I know she has been great and I know I am really starting to see peoples true colors after being there over a week. I know who I can trust and who I can't so far. I know I am learning so much and I feel like my supervisor works very hard to make sure I am not taken advantage of which I really appreciate. I know I am learning so much and I feel that this job will be what I needed. I knew I wanted to do something else and it really is very different. I know my skills in this position could open more doors for me personally. I know I feel very comfortable with my one coworker and boss.

I know I am looking forward to see what happens next. I am really enjoying the fact that my job in general is less stressful than my previous positions. Hoping that will help me to have a happy and healthier life. I know my move to California was for several reasons but I also know how much my work was deterioration my health so making changes that seem to have made me very happy so far. I am hoping for many more great things. I know I am blessed to have the ability to make the changes I needed in my life. I know my boyfriend John is so happy that I moved and I know I feel the same. Life is really great because I feel like I am not stuck in a rut. I know my diabetes has been really starting to smooth out in general. So I am hoping I can keep it that way.

Interesting First Week

Things at my new work have been going great so far but I can already see some interesting challenges ahead. I am brand new and a person is already leaving the department. I have a feeling it was related to issues with another department and nothing internal. Right now the University is shuffling departments around internally so I have a feeling this person leaving was related to that recent changes. I know my department has various new team members which is great for me because they have done so much for me so far. I know this time I got asked for what office supplies I wanted and they actually arrived today at my office. It was really nice not to have to wait six months on the job before being asked what I needed. I am not sure what the other person leaving will impact me but I have a feeling because I have experience in the area this person had that could mean that I would get a promotion but honestly I am really liking the section I am in right now.

The best parts of my new job is that I work in a house and my desk is right by the back door which has access to the back yard. So it makes it ideal when having to take Duchess out. I know I also work right next to the kitchen which is ideal for storing extra food and the fridge is right there. So I can store my extra supplies and juice boxes. I know I previously at my old job had to request a fridge but this time I don't need to ask for any accommodation because the house is really ideal for Duchess. Honestly Duchess loves that at lunch I can take her outside and play in the yard. Also last Friday my coworker and I played soccer with Duchess and she was incredibly happy. She really loved her new work location but also seems to love how homey the house is. I know I can take my lunch break in the living room and also relax for an hour. My boss has a policy that no lunch break is skipped. So we have to have lunches which equal happier staff. So I also have to say that my boss is incredible.

She is familiar with service dog do's and don't s.  She also has been great in helping take on some issues that have come up. I know my position helps three other sections out in doing tasks but they have been sending tasks without asking my boss first so that she can review it. She wants to give me time to adjust and also finish all my training as well. She also is working on sending out a message to all staff about not petting service dogs etc. to educate everyone. Which takes the stress off me which is very helpful. I know she has been great and I know I am really starting to see peoples true colors after being there over a week. I know who I can trust and who I can't so far. I know I am learning so much and I feel like my supervisor works very hard to make sure I am not taken advantage of which I really appreciate. I know I am learning so much and I feel that this job will be what I needed. I knew I wanted to do something else and it really is very different. I know my skills in this position could open more doors for me personally. I know I feel very comfortable with my one coworker and boss.

I know I am looking forward to see what happens next. I am really enjoying the fact that my job in general is less stressful than my previous positions. Hoping that will help me to have a happy and healthier life. I know my move to California was for several reasons but I also know how much my work was deterioration my health so making changes that seem to have made me very happy so far. I am hoping for many more great things. I know I am blessed to have the ability to make the changes I needed in my life. I know my boyfriend John is so happy that I moved and I know I feel the same. Life is really great because I feel like I am not stuck in a rut. I know my diabetes has been really starting to smooth out in general. So I am hoping I can keep it that way.

First Day

I am really looking forward to my first day at my new job. I am thrilled to be able to be working again. I know it has so hard to not be working and just applying for jobs for quite a while. It has been a very rough road as far as job hunting but I am pleased in the end that I got the job that I wanted initially when I applied back in September. I know I will have so much to learn but the group of people I meet all seems so wonderful and helpful. I know the person who did the job previously and was promoted will be working right next to me so I can easily ask questions which will make the job easier in that way. I know after the one company I was going to do the temp to permanent position made me really weary of things but I know I need to start fresh. So I am going to go to work with an open mind and hopeful that things will be wonderful in my new position.

I am excited in some ways because I can use lessons learned from my previous job to help avoid some pitfalls of having Duchess at work. I am most of all hoping that people give me a chance to prove that I can do the job and that I am able to do anything everyone else is able to. I know it would seem like that would be a given but I have found that is not always the case but I am very optimistic things will be good. I know I was pleased that the University I will be working for handled the disability requests quite well so I am hopeful. I know each place is different and I know a fresh start is really what I need. I guess I will know tomorrow and more this week how things will go. I am hoping they are open minded and understand I am just as capable as any other person. My blood sugars have been better past couple of weeks and so I am hoping with a slight temporary basal rate during the first couple of weeks will allow me to have less lows and hopefully be able to learn all the things I need to learn. The good part is that I know I will be getting a week paid time off at Christmas similar to what I got at my last job. So I will get some down time right after starting which is really nice.

I know I am hoping Duchess is ready for all the change. She really handled the temp assignments I did at a hospice organization in October and November. I know she will love meeting all the new people and most of all I think she will be happier to be back to work as I am. Except I honestly think she loves staying home because she can run around the house but I know she will enjoy in some ways getting back to our routine of sorts. I know I am excited and a little nervous even though I know I will be fine.

Follow Up on Job Offers

It has been an interesting job hunt to say the least. I did finally finish getting all the required documents for my disability accommodations which are basically bringing Duchess to work turned into human resources today which was a relief. I know I won't be able to start my job until all the paper work was submitted in a timely manner. I did have issues getting my old Dr.'s office to sign the paper work though so it has been a great deal of hoops to jump through to get to this point today. I did finally hear back from the other job offer I had accepted on Friday afternoon. They sent me an email saying to start on a set date and time but they had a little note at the bottom. The position was originally for a temporary to permanent position. I would have been temporary for around three months. I know the email stated the clients had decided to hire their own Administrative Assistant internally. The position would now only be a temporary position until they found an acceptable person for the job.

I know I am still really angry that people the minute they hear I have a service dog the run. I know my new position at a state job was very accepting of the law and just had me fill out the proper paper work. They said I would need to meet with them when I start to discuss accommodations but other than that I am all set for the my first day on the job. It is insulting because I have a great deal of success as an administrative assistant or associate positions. I know I even took tests for the temp agency and did really well but funny how when you need accommodations they want nothing to do with you and want to back out of the job offer if they could legally get away with it. I did rather enjoy emailing them temp agency back on Friday saying that I had accepted a full time job offer with another company. I know this temporary agency should have been more careful. They were trying to change the position they offered after the original offer was agreed upon. I am sure they sought legal advice on how to handle this so the client did not have to have me as an employee. I know I was over joyed to turn down the job offer once they started to change the offer around.

I know I have a great deal of service dog teams that do not work and I know why. It is was really a slap in the face how so person can disregard years of experience because you have a disability and treat you like you have no value. I know my job at the University of Texas was never easy but I always got the job done. So I find it very hard to deal with how belittled I felt after this experience. I know I am glad I found a place that is really happy to welcome me to the team with my disability. I am hoping I see more of that in the future but I know after this experience I plan on staying with my new University for many years to come because having a service dog and going through this process again would be incredibly difficult to handle. I know I am extremely happy with my decision to move but I forgot how hard it would be to handle the disability related paper work, forms and questions.

I know I would not have handled all the stress or difficulties I faced this time without John. He really has been a great helping me to watch Duchess while I interviewed and helping me practice for interviews as well. I know I did not always handle my stress as well as I would have liked but thankfully I am done with that part of the process. I know with all the extra steps I have to handle after accepting a job offer it feels like a great deal of work. Normally they want this paper work same day or next day at latest. So it is a great deal of time talking to nurses and scrambling to get things faxed to my new employer. I know why a great deal of service dog teams don't work and most of the reason I am finding is not the disabled person but rather the employers in a great deal of cases. It makes me incredibly sad to be even saying that. I was hopeful that my experience would have been positive instead of such a negative experience. I know we still have a great deal of a ways to go when it comes to dealing with disabilities in the workplace.

Interesting Job Hunt and the Leassons Learned

Things have been such a whirl wind and I have not blogged as I would have liked. I have been so busy working on getting a job it was just too much to keep up with these days. I normally love to blog during November but this year it just didn't happen. I did get a job offer and I was supposed to start the job today but I never heard back from the staffing company after I submitted a Dr.'s note about my need for an accommodation at work so I can bring Duchess with me. I know the federal laws but the request by the company was not very nice. I know our email exchanged she expected me to have a Dr.'s note ready once I told her about my need to have Duchess. I know in Texas my job requested me to release some medical records to the Disability department. I signed the paper work so the school could get the records I stared a day later. I know the process was easy. Sadly since I had never been asked for a Dr.'s note I was not prepared but thankfully my Dr.'s office was able to get one written the day I called then I had them fax it to the company. I heard back from the staffing agency for the temporary to permanent position I was hired for that they were waiting to hear back from the company.  I heard nothing from them today so I assume they are trying to get out of trying to hire me at this point is my assumption.

I know during all of this time I was called back for a second interview at a job I really wanted. I found out today and accepted the position at a local University in the area. I know because the position is a state job I won't really have any issues being able to take Duchess with me to work. So I am relieved that I don't have to go through the situation I was with the other job I accepted a position with. I am waiting to see if I ever hear back from them or what their response will be. I am curious to find out what they will say next. I know after my current job hunting experience I am thinking the disability laws leave a great deal to be desired. I know the only way I can compete is to not disclose my disability because of the assumptions people make. It is sad reality in this country how bad they treat the disable who are trying to be productive citizens who just want to work.

I know once I tell someone about my disability they have complete meltdowns most of the time and then they get angry if you don't know in advance what documentation they will want. I can see why a great deal of people in this country with disabilities don't work because they make you jump through so many hoops to just be able to start a job. I am glad they improved the disability laws several years back but there is so many loop holes that make it easy to discriminate against a disable individual. I know I have just as much to offer as any healthy person. I just wish they would not make such harsh judgements about me before they even see my work. I know I do tend to stay in jobs longer now because of the difficulty with getting new jobs. I am really hoping that my new department will still welcome me with the same enthusiasm as any other employee after all I am still human. I know my disability does not deter my abilities just wish more people understood that.

Increased Alerting After the Move

I know with all the recent changes in Duchess's life I was really worried that her alerting would be affected by all these changes. I really happy to say that Duchess is actually alerting even better now than she was before the move.  Duchess has always been great at alerting but now she seems much happier about life in general. I know things have been incredibly busy with the move, job hunting and just unpacking. I know I was also worried that with having two diabetics around might be tough for her but she seems to take it all in stride. I know having two of us around does not seem to bother her at all. I know she does tend to alert to John when my blood sugars are off for good reason I am sure. I know most of the time if she does alert I do test and take care of it but I also know there was times when I am too far gone to respond to her alerts. I am thankful that she loves her new home and loves our new life. She seems generally more relaxed and happy now.

                                                        

I know Duchess has some separation anxiety which I am trying to work on but when I am going to interviews she freaks out. I know John is with her but she generally is so worried about me but I do run my blood sugars higher during interviews to avoid the CGM alarming and also so I can just concentrate on getting the job instead of worrying if I am going to go low.  I know it has been hard on Duchess waiting for me while I am in interviews but it does seem to help her. I know we have found that if John takes here vest off while I am gone she calms down and relaxes. Once I get back in the car we put her vest back on and she is back to work again. I know Duchess has some interesting needs when I am away but at least it seems to help lessen her separation anxiety. Some days she does wonderful when I am gone to get the mail or things that are close to the house. So at least I am making progress in dealing with the separation anxiety.

Last Couple of Weeks

I have to say since I had my seizure after the incident with the Verio IQ not working properly I have been battling some tough lows and other seizures. I know I have been so caught up in getting settled applying for jobs. It has been difficult getting back into writing my blog. I know a recent seizure John had to deal with again. I know he never gets made at me for it but I am finding for me it has been incredibly difficult. I know the reason why is the guilt I feel for having so many lows since August when he first arrived in Austin. I know some of the lows were because of my meter but I still feel incredibly responsible for these incidents. I know I feel at times the guilt is eating me alive. I know he loves me and we would not be together if we didn't care for each other. I just didn't expect to feel this overwhelming guilt around with me. I know in the past when I was on vacation and this happened it was not the same in some ways.

I know I lucky to have him in my life and I am very thankful. I know after my second recent seizure and bad low. I told John that I wish this wasn't my life which is so unlike me but I actually think I really meant it at that moment. I feel like I am a burden to him and not that he feels that way but it has to be a lot to deal with glucagon shots and scary seizures. I know he seems to take it all in stride because he is also a Diabetic too. I know I have helped him during lows too but it just feel so different because his are so rare. I know I was told by my old coworker that I lived with for a short period time that she really had no idea how scary my life is and how difficult it must be. I know I do my best but at times like these I really struggle with what I can do with the guilt of these events even if they weren't preventable. I know as I am writing this I am trying to not cry because I feel so overwhelmed by it all. I know Duchess has really helped in alerting John to these events but I still feel like that is not enough.

I know now were are discussing getting the latest Dexcom G5 because John can monitor my blood sugars while he is at work when I am at home. That would be helpful but I know I am never good about sharing my Dexcom graphs with my family but I have shown them to him in the past. I know now he wakes me up in the middle of the night he hears my Dexcom go off and I am hearing his Dexcom as well at night. I know this data sharing is something I need to be open to because it does mean that he could help if I needed it. So it does take some getting used to because I have cared for my Diabetes for so many years independently from others. I know when I am high I get cranky and when I am low I get tired of hearing about it. So having him contact me when I am low would take some adjustment on my part to stay positive with him trying to be helpful. I am pretty sure once I get back to working again that will be one of the first things I purchase. I know I need to do as much as possible to keep me safe regardless of how I feel about sharing the data.

A New Experience that Taught me so Much

I am still job hunting. I ended up taking a temporary position for the first time in my life because honestly I was not handling not working very well. I am so used to this high paced and hundred a mile an hour pace. I also know that this process has been strange for Duchess as well because we are home more often than usual because I am spending so much time applying for jobs. I  have to say I was never planning of using a temporary agency but it actually turned out okay. Once I got the job assignment I then told them about Duchess. The temp agency was not happy to say the least but the place I was assigned to loved Duchess. It was an incredible assignment which made me realize that yes my work experience really could be pleasant compared to my old job. I know it gave me hope that I could possibly find a good employer who would be supportive of having Duchess.

I learned so much from this experience so now I know more what I am looking for in a job. I know my experience at my last job was not great but I also know what I would do differently next time if it got to that point. I am hoping to find an employer who values me more as an employee but also values how productive and how much I add to the work place. I know I am looking to make my life better in every way possible. Finding the right work place for both of us would be ideal. I am finding that back in 2011 I needed a job and it was the first one that came up. This time I have more options when I am making this decision. I know Duchess is a great service dog and I think the right place she won't have so many complaints about things that are untrue. I know I have a feeling those complaints were more about that the person was generally unhappy with their job and so they just wanted to have some one to complain to.

I know I never planned on going through a temporary agency but it might actually help me make contacts and to network to find other jobs. I know I love my first assignment but I know I can always apply to an opening with this company next year. I am hoping to do some more temporary jobs because it gives me other ideas of where I can work at that I might have not previously considered. I worked at a hospice organization and I found it so rewarding. I know I wish the job was a permanent one because the company was wonderful from what I saw and heard from other inside and out of the organization. I do my homework about the companies before I start to have an idea of what they are going to expect and what I might be doing as well.

I Am Finally Back to Blogging

Thank you all for your patience during the move and after the move. I thought I would have been back to blogging sooner but I am finding that I am still so far behind on everything these days on top of looking for a job. I know it really took some time for me to find places for all my stuff I moved to California. I know I feel like I have not gotten much accomplished when in actuality I have. I know my road trip to California is not one I will soon forget. I know I meet some of John's family and he meet some of my family. It has been an incredible start to our new life together. I know I have been incredibly stressed about not working. I found a temporary job actually a ten minute walk from the Condo I live in. I have to say I am in love with Sonoma and the new life I have now.

Duchess in our new home in Sonoma

I know I had my share of lows during our travels but we used walkie talkies on the drive so If either of us went low we would press a certain button which gave a very noticeable sound. This really helped to make the trip easier. I know this really helped us keep in touch but also made it easier to tell each other if bathroom breaks or stops for food were necessary. I know Duchess really handled the trip quite well even on the long days were we drove for longer periods of time. I have to say that I had no public access issues on the trip as well. Overall it was pretty uneventful but rather a great adventure for John and I. I know I won't forget this trip anytime soon. I know it seemed to only strengthen our relationship. I know I was thankful that we both were wearing our Dexcom's during the trip. It really helped me to make changes to my driving basal rates and make adjustments as necessary. I know it made it easier to see if I was moving up or down.

Leaving Texas and Into New Mexico

I know my life has changed so much in so little time. I know I love Sonoma and love the fact that I can walk to the grocery store and so many other places. I find I am walking more and more each day. The weather here is not as hot as Texas but quite nice and sunny. I love the fact I live so close to the Plaza which is where a great deal of the bars and restaurants in town are. I love the fact that Duchess favorite dog bakery is in the plaza as well. I feel very much at home in Sonoma and I am now starting to meet so many wonderful people. I am looking forward to see what will come. I know my Diabetes had some major blows when I first made it to Sonoma.

I had been using a Verio IQ for several months. One night I was feeling off so I tested it said I was 165 but I really felt like it was oddly low. So I continued to check but my blood sugar seemed to stay between 170-150 range. I kept watching it because it seemed odd. John was working that night so I knew it would just be Duchess and I tonight at home. Duchess kept alerting but every time I tested it was in that range. I know my CGM was showing I was lower in the 70's so I was not sure what was going on. So I left things alone. I know I remember reading a book and that was the last thing I remember that night. I remember waking up to John holding me up against the bed. He said to me you just had a seizure. I guess when John came home Duchess alerted him that something was wrong he ran to the bedroom and found me in a very incoherent state. Then I started to seize. John grabbed the glucagon and injected me. Then he grabbed my meter and tested it said I was 125 he knew that could not be. So he grabbed his meter it read LOW. So my meter was over a hundred points off. If I had know I was low I would have treated it but since my meter was saying other wise I didn't react.

                                                                

I know I am very upset that I had a seizure because of the meter being off and it brings back the fact that meters need to be more accurate especially since we all rely on them being accurate. I know after that experience I will never again use a Verio meter. I am back to using my old one touch meter which seems to be accurate. I have learned some lessons from this experience. I know now I am now battling to keep seizures at bay not because I didnt test but because my meter was wrong. I also know if my blood sugar had been slightly higher most likely I would have check with my back up meter. I know times like these I am grateful to have Duchess and John around. I also felt incredibly guilty because I didn't realize sooner that my meter had an issue. I know I felt overwhelmed with sadness and guilt over what happened and John assured me that it was not my fault. I know now I am working very hard to keep seizures as bay but the next couple of months will carry more risks of seizures.

I know I will always struggle with things but I am also so pleased that Duchess loves living in Sonoma as much as me. I know I am hoping that our life will be better here and so far it has really been so much less stressful so far. I know I feel better than I have in a long time. I will be trying to blog more as I can in between searching for jobs and settling into my new life. Thank you again for your patience while I took a break from the blog.

Taking Break Soon

I have loved keeping up with my blog for the past several years but I am feeling like it can be tough to keep up with it at times. So with all the changes coming into my life right now I need to concentrate on my life and other things at this point and time. I will be back to blogging but how much might change. I know with my life being a big ball of stress I need to look at what is working for me and what is not. So I will be taking some time over the next two weeks to move and unpack my things. I will try and update as I can but I know with the big changes I need to spend the time getting Duchess and me settled into this new life that we will be living. I will be back to blogging for sure.

I will have some photos of the trip from Texas to California to share with you all once I get to the point I can post. I know I want to be able to blog as I go but I know I have so many other things I need to be worrying about. I know this drive has me nervous but I know I will be taking my time and if I have a bad day of lows I can stop and start again the next day. So I am hoping for good blood sugars and a really smooth trip. I will still be updating my Facebook while traveling for those who are following me on my personal Facebook page. I am looking forward to all that is to come but I am also so full of emotions. It is really starting to hit home I am leaving my home for the past 10 years. I am also so excited. I will hopefully get a blog or two in before I leave.

So Close to the End

I had a bad morning full of lows and pump prime issues. I added more insulin this morning to my pump and it did the prime me issue around four or five times so far. I know this drives me crazy which probably contribute to the low I had this morning. I did treat the low on my own but I was a little frazzled by it all. It is the end of the fiscal year and I am tired. The good part it that I only four days of work left next week and I already cleaned out most of my drawers and filing cabinets. I also am clearing up my desktop of work computer and making sure documents are stored in the correct files. I know the next person thankfully won't be doing as much work as I currently do which is good for them. I know I worried they were going to continue to give them more work than is possible to handle which my job is currently at that level. I am not sure how I was able to handle this work load for so long but it really has taken a toll on my health.

I am glad I was able to work with so many wonderful people and miss my coworkers but I won't miss the work because it was just too much for me in reality. If I was healthy I still think it would have been challenging for anyone to keep up with but with all the lows it has been incredibly daunting and has affected me in ways I never noticed. I am happy that my new adventure hopefully will bring a job with a little less craziness and more opportunity for a slower pace. I know I need the change but I will miss certain parts of my life because I am so used to my life being this way but I know I need more stability and less of the crazy. I know Duchess probably needs that just as much as me. I am hopeful to all that is too come. So strange to say goodbye to my life here in Austin after ten years.

Will I Run Into Issues?

I know as I prepare for my trip to the west coast I know in the back of my mind one thing always has me worried. I know when you travel you tend to visit places you might normally go to. I know I have been lucky so far that service stations have not been an issue but I know it could be an issue especially in the south. I have noticed in general that a great deal of the time the staff in quite a few place are not familiar with the law which could make things difficult for Duchess and I. I know how I should react to these situations but after driving all day you can tend to go overboard possibly or just not handle these situations as well as I normally would. I know I did a road trip with Duchess about 4 years ago and thankfully we did not run into any issues but I will always worry about these experiences because I represent all service dog teams with how I do handle the situations.

I know if I do run into issues I will follow up or try to resolve the issue at that point if possible. If I find I am not getting anywhere I will purse the issue as soon as possible. I like to educate the general public when possible but at times people don't want to learn. So I know I can only do so much in some situations. I know all the people who pretend their dogs are service dogs really affect how I will be treated in some places and I know I will always be frustrated by this. I know I am feeling wonderful about all that is too come but I also know there could be challenges as well such as public access issues. I know John will also help to educate the business as well. He is very well versed in the laws and public access so he tends to help when things get tense or tough.  I also am aware I could go the whole trip without one issue. I am prepared for what may come but I am really hoping to get through with no issues.

Quite a Few Laughs

There is times that I have to laugh at some of my experiences. I know it is interesting to see how people judge you and have an idea in their mind of what you are supposed to drive etc. I know I recently bought a used Honda Civic which I love. My favorite part of the car is the custom red Honda symbols and the tires and rims. They did all these extras on the car such as custom leather seats etc,carbon fiber on the roof of the car and custom bumper. I think they were trying to make the Honda Civic look like the SI version which is fine with me. Everything on the car was done extremely well.

I was doing great on my exercise routine I went to the gym as usual and even exercised longer on Friday because I had the energy. I am really starting to feel like my old self and have had very little pain the past couple of weeks. So I had a really good work out and I was really getting used to the gym and how it works at this gym. I have enjoyed everything so far. The weird part is not that I have been going to the gym for  a bit I now have men exercising near me when I am working out. I am fine with it except for the fact they tend to distract Duchess. So I am trying to find a way to position her so she is not in the way but still able to be close enough to me to alert. She has done extremely well alerting me when I am at they gym because the Dexcom is much slower at letting me know. The weird part is at times I feel high but I am actually low but it happens occasionally.

So I finish working out and I head out to my car after I gathered all my stuff together. I get closer to my car and notice a group of men at one guys car a couple cars away from where my Civic is parked. I could see they were looking at my car. Men love my car which I find kind of funny. I notice they are watching Duchess and I get in the car and I open up my sunroof it was a warm night. So I hear the guys talking I would of never guessed that lady is the one who owns that car is what I hear. I had to laugh a little bit because I seem to get weird looks because I have a car with a great deal of custom work. Then I hear one guy saying he needs to hang out with my boyfriend because he did a great job on the car. It was interesting to hear tidbits of the conversation as I am pulling out of they gym parking lot and quite a few more laughs. I guess a disabled person with a service dog is not allowed to have a car with custom features in their minds.

Tips for People Considering a Diabetic Alert Dog

I get asked frequently by people who want to get a diabetic alert dog for their children their is several issues I have seen and observed from the parents. I know most people assume that all diabetic alert dogs alert at night but that is incorrect there are some but the majority do not always alert at night. Duchess will alert but she is not very consistent and I am working on that currently but I also have my Dexcom as a back up. Duchess is really just another tool in my arsenal and not my only one. Another thing I have learned is that any trainer should really try to talk your out of getting a diabetic alert dog before you start the process because if after all the downsides they talk about and your still interested the more likely you are to succeed as a team. I have seen some children who's parent purchase a DAD for their teenager but did not ask the teenager if they wanted a diabetic alert dog and the team ended up failing only because the teenager ignored the dog and the dog interpreted it as that the job is not important. If you ignore alerts, do not do consistent follow up with training, allow petting  and not enough down time for the dog can all equal a diabetic alert dog who does not work. I can see the novelty of the idea of a companion which is one of the best parts but there is also so much work as well. I knew going in several years it was going to be work but I had not idea how much that was really entailed. I am very comfortable with that their is work but with a busy life it can be difficult at times. I know some may read this as I am trying to discourage other from getting a diabetic alert dog but that is not the case. I am trying to provide you some of the things I have learned along the way. I know most families that have the diabetic alerts dogs only talk about that good things but I feel the need to discuss all aspects.

              I know their was some things I did not know going in that I wish I had when I went through the process and I want to share that information. I could not agree more that I made the correct choice for me and I will never regret this journey with my best friend Duchess but I have also had so many unexpected issue from dealing with the public. I did expect issues from the general public and public access issues. Some of the comments from people were more than I have bargained from I stole Duchess from a child who would need it more than me. Which is really an unfair statement because I actually paid for Duchess. I know when I first got Duchess there was not nearly as many places who offered diabetic alert dog but I have also seen so many people get ripped off by companies selling untrained puppies and sick puppies. I did my research and found a great dog. So if you are looking into getting a diabetic alert dog remember research and more research. There is quite a few reputable places but keep in mind on average to get a fully trained dog is at least two years. If something sounds too good to be true it is. I have heard claims that a dog was able to tell a child was low from 9 miles away is not possible. They can from quite some distance but that is a little far fetched.

I am posting an interview at blogging diabetes about diabetic alert dogs as well.

http://bloggingdiabetes.com/2012/06/bdp-046-interview-with-tarra-robinson-diabetic-alert-dog-tslim-and-news/

Well At Least I Am Done For Now

I know today was a rough day in some ways. I know I made it two years without having anything done to my eyes. I had no lasers or injection for my Retinopathy. I know I was really feeling great about all the hard work. I knew deep down eventually I would have to had some procedures done again but I also still feel really defeated even though I know it is all part of having Retinopathy. I know my eye is not in bad shape and the laser procedure it to help stop any bleeds from happening in the first place. I know I am in a good place in that my eyes are not as bad as they once were and the bleeds when they happen are very small and do not tend to impact my vision for the most part. I know I honestly am hoping my next Retina Specialist is better than my current one. I know he is very well know but at times I feel like I am talking to the wall.

I tended to have to push the Dr. to get what I needed at times. I know overall that he at least was following standard procedure when it came to laser procedures. I also know that he was willing to not do surgery which I am incredibly thankful for now. I know I can't see well at night but at least I have really great vision otherwise. So I am thankful and I am also hopeful that I can go another couple of years without any injections or laser procedures. It was so nice to have a break from all the appointments and constant dilatations that I once had. I know I was blessed to only see the Dr. twice a year for two years in a row. I know that even with my great A1c that I still don't have everything the way I would like but I know in the long run keeping my A1c in check must have played a part in my brief period of time with little assistance needed.

Retina Specialist and Big Set Back

 I knew going into my Retina Specialist appointment it had been two years since my eyes have had any laser procedures or injections. I know I have been fortunate the past two years to have some time where I was not worrying too much about my Retinopathy it was just one appointment every six months. Well sadly there was some bleeding in my eyes again but this time on the left eye the interesting part it that my Dr. could not identify the cause of the bleeds. I know I had several bad lows in June. I know the injury when I feel in the tub I am sure caused the bleed. I had swelling that took weeks to go away. Then I had no new blood vessel growth but just some spots that will need to lasered again in my right eye.  I know when the Dr. said this I just wanted to cry. I know once you have Retinopathy you can only do so much. My A1c has been excellent, my blood pressure normal and cholesterol was also good. So I am doing everything on my part.

I know these moments really make me feel extremely angry and bitter. I know I work so hard to keep things where they need to be. I know my Retinopathy is not bad and some of this laser procedure is to prevent further bleeds but I feel like a failure to an extent even though I am not. I still have 20/20 vision during the day at night I am blind as a bat. I know even though I had some changes I really am doing incredibly well but it can be so easy to just blame myself. I know I need to give myself some credit because my eyes are in a good place but after two years need some maintenance of sorts. I am doing my best to keep my thoughts in a positive place. I know If I do I will be so much happier when I go back and everything is good again.

I know that in the long run all the hard work has paid off and will continue too but having set backs along the way will happen for sure. So I know I just need to keep going even though the frustration will only be until I am done with the laser procedure on Monday. I know what I am feeling is only for a short period of time and that doing this follow up will help keep the bleeds away.

The Lows Are Disappearing

I am starting to feel better this past week or so I am starting to have less lows again even with exercise. I am seeming to be more level in my Dexcom graph and very little higher blood sugars which I was aiming for. I know yesterday I had only one low which was so great for me and now lows after working out which so surprising. I did my normal snack before bed when I work out and this time no lows at 3:00am which was so nice. I also in general am waking up in the low one hundred range which is great. I know if I wake up around that level I normally feel great and have a great start to the day. I also know that if I can keep the lows at bay most of the day I tend to have less at night. So now my goal is to try and keep things like they are now until I leave if possible.

I am now just trying to relax because I just gave notice at work yesterday and it was nice in some ways to say good bye. My job there was a great deal of things I liked but also a great deal I didn't like. I know I felt so much better after giving notice. I know I felt relieved to be moving on but there is also part of me that is sad in some ways. I know saying goodbye to some of my friends at work and in Austin in general will be hard. I know I am not looking forward to all the goodbyes but I know am really needing the new start to my life.  So I am hoping that the last two weeks at my job are pleasant and good. I know after almost 4 years it will be strange to not work here. I know when I am crossing the Texas border I won't be looking back but instead looking forward. I know I am hoping and praying for less lows. I know it was so nice to stay in range most of the day.

Plan for My Move

I know I have been doing much better with lows the past couple of days so finally seeing some improvement with having less lows even with exercise which is great. I know as I plan my move I know I am planning on last visit with my Dr. again before I leave. I have decided to use a new basal rate just for when I am driving. I know I am hoping to keep my blood sugars in the 140-150 range if possible while I am driving to California. I know I find driving stressful at times but there is long stretches of nothing in Texas so that won't be as stressful but once I get through that there is border patrol stops and other things to deal with. I know I do plan to have food within reach and have a sweet drink to help prevent lows. I know because we are taking our time I am hoping I will feel more relaxed as I go. I know keeping my stress levels low and having time to monitor my blood sugars will help me feel more comfortable with the drive.

I know I do plan on having my Dexcom on my steering wheel as I drive. That will make the process easier for me I don't want to mess with my pump if I don't have to. I know at times like these I really wish I was one of the lucky one's who Dexcom was actually closer to what your blood sugar is. So I know frequent testing and also making sure I stay hydrated will be important. If I get dehydrated that increase low blood sugars. I know having Celiac's disease can be challenging especially while traveling but having options available with me should alleviate any issues I might encounter. I know thankfully I have learned so much over the past several years about what I can and can't eat it just leaves me making sure I have food ready when I am on the road. I know there is some places I can eat that our fast food which can be helpful and some restaurants so I have option. I know I really prefer to eat at home because I can better control what I am getting exposed to.

So I am so happy that I am getting closer to my next adventure. I know I can't wait to see what is next. I know I am really so looking forward to unpacking my things and feeling like I am at home. It has been since June that was the last time I could actually say that. I know Duchess will do great on this trip. I am just hoping she feels at home right away which she seemed to in July when we were visiting. 

I Never Stopped to Realize the Impact

I know John and I talk frequently and we were discussing things we wanted to do once I finish my move to California. I know he is used to Duchess being around in fact have never not had her with us. I know I never really realized that we have never had a date or time where Duchess was not there. It can be so easy to forget what it is like to not have her with me. I know I normally never leave Duchess but I figure that I trust him enough her tends to notice my lows so I can have a night out without Duchess being with us. It will defiantly be nice because honestly at times having some space would be really nice. I love Duchess beyond belief but at times I know I really miss my freedom I had before the Unawareness took over my life. I used to be able to go out and do things without a service dog with me at all times. I know we will be taking my glucagon kit with me for sure. 

I know it is interesting to me that at times I have forgotten in some ways what it is like to not have Duchess with me. I know I rarely ever leave her but on occasion it would be nice to enjoy life a little more. Mind you it is very rare for me to leave Duchess.  I know I am really dependent on her and I feel safest having her with me she is my little sidekick of sorts. So it really hit me when he mentioned we have never had any just us time which sadly is true. I know I am incredibly fortunate to have her and I love her so much. I know I will miss her the whole time we are apart but it also be nice for us as couple to experience some time just for us. I know dating is defiantly more complicated when having a service dog because you are worrying about your service dog, diabetes, and so many other things. I know he has been incredibly understanding about it all and loves Duchess too. I just think its time for us as a couple.

Complications Can Be Hard to Face

Reposting of old blog

I know have not been able to talk about my Mom's whole Diabetes story until now.  This is the most difficult thing I have blogged about in a long time.  I know she had good control of her Diabetes and worked very hard at it. When I was in College my mom and dad decided to divorce. During that time my mom was getting the house ready for sale she was working in our garage where my dad had kept his big tool box full of all his tools which was extremely heavy and was very full of items. She was moving things around preparing for a garage sale of some items before the house was to go on the market. She started to move the tool chest when it feel forward on top of her foot. Thankfully her friend was their and was able to help get the chest off of her foot. She went to the Dr.'s and they treated the wounds and watched to see how here foot would heal. Her wounds on her food did heal but there were changes in her foot from the injury.

My mom moved shortly after this to Texas from Washington State where my brother, sister and I were living. I know even with such a great distance between us I talked with her frequently. I know over the next year or so here foot experienced more issues. So a Dr. recommended surgery to help with the issues with her foot. So she agreed because they said they thought they could preserve some of the blood flow in her foot by operating. The Dr. who performed the surgery actually ended up not improving the circulation but permanently damaging most of the blood flow in her foot. In fact her foot had obvious signs of the surgery gone bad. I know she did her best to take care of her foot especially since she knew it was in a very vulnerable spot currently. With limited circulation in her foot things were not great even a small injury or wound could go from bad to extremely bad very quickly.

So we fast forward to Christmas of 2007 when my mom gets very ill I know she had been to the Dr.'s and was still not feeling well. She ends up in the hospital. She had a tiny scrap on the bottom of the toe that no real circulation head to it. I know she tried her best to catch any wounds but the location of this one could have been missed by anyone according to my sister who was their during all this. There was also other issues going on at the same time. Her kidney function was declining and had weird blood work that no one could explain. I get the call from my sister once my mom was in the hospital that they needed to amputate my mom's toe. I was not supposed to get into the area for another three days. I know I cried a great deal that night for my mom because I knew people would always judge her because she had an amputation she had an excellent Alc and did everything she could but sadly that was not enough.

I know full well if she had normal circulation in that foot like she did her other foot she would not have had an amputation. I know she did not see this coming most likely I am know that is because later we would learn that here hear valves were going.  She did the best she could and I know her good A1c did not seem to help her when her foot issue arose. I know I feel very ashamed for her over the years. I know I shouldn't but there was always been a very clear you were a bad diabetic and this is why this happened to you. I am so very thankful now that were are talking about complications and working towards a more realistic view of complications.

Is Two Diabetics Too Much

I know I am with the upcoming move I have some concerns not about my relationship but with Duchess. I know alerting to two Diabetics is risky in that she could be distracted by John's blood sugars too. I know I worry that she will get over worked when at home trying to manage two Diabetics instead of just one. I know when I have spent several weeks with him she did great but I worry about the long term which I am not sure how she will handle things. I know she loves me but I also know I am responsible for her as well. So I am not sure how I will handle this if it does become an issue. I need Duchess to alert to my blood sugars because things can get bad really quickly. I know John is there most of the time so that is great but I know I have to worry about Duchess becoming burned out or worse stop working all together

I know I am thrilled by everything but I know I am not overly concerned yet I am sure I will know soon enough but I also know I am completely dependent on her alerting. I have had her for 5 years on the 15th of this month so I am so used to her doing what I need. I know my concerns could be unfounded but I generally like things to work well. I know Duchess has also been through an incredibly stressful period of time since June and she is finally starting to regain some weight that she lost. So I am really hoping and praying that she will be able to keep up with my alerts but I also know she tends to alert for both of us. I don't want her to not alert for John because we all can end up low and not feel it which happens for him on occasion. I would rather us both be safe if at all possible.

I know Duchess really loves us both and at the end of the day I know I am responsible for taking care of  her like she takes care of me. I know we have had to go through so much recently I feel like we are an even better team because of all the crazy obstacles too. I am also thankful that Duchess is now not wearing the collar around her neck and is back to her normal self and paws are healing great.

Sleep Eludes Me

I know since June I have had issues with sleep. I am waking up most nights at 3:00 am and not able to go back to sleep. Which is not good especially when dealing with Hypoglycemia Unawareness. I know my sleep issues do affect if I have lows and how often I do as well. I know sleep really helps me to keep things balanced blood sugar wise and also keeps the lows at a lower rate. I know I am tired of waking up at 3am but I am not really sure of the cause. I know the last couple of months I have made so many important decisions about where my life is headed. I know the move is taxing in a great deal of ways but I have gotten everything done already so I am prepared to move. There is not much more I can do to be ready at this point. So I am not sure why I keep waking up every night at 3am but I know I would love to be able to sleep more than I have the past couple of months.

I know I am not overly stressed at this point but I am not sure where I need to go from here. I know I do exercise and I still continually exercise as I always have which does help me deal with stress. Normally I do not have issues falling asleep but waking up in the middle of the night is where the issues show up. I do know that I have been living out of boxes since the middle of June. So the possibility that I don't feel settled could be affecting me more than I realized.  I know I feel comfortable staying at my co-workers house but I know for a fact I can't wait to be able to unpack my things and settle in. I know how much Duchess needs that but I guess maybe be I forgot about me needing that as well. Since I can't change that yet I still have over three weeks before I leave. I am hoping that I can find a good normal sleeping pattern before I leave because it is a long trip to get to California.

So I am going to try and right to do lists and other things so they are not weighing my mind down. I am also going to try to turn off all electronics a half an hour before bed to hopefully help prevent the waking up every night. I might try doing some stress relieving activities as well to see if that helps. I know it has been a really challenging couple of months and I am really needing a break from all the craziness. Hoping these will help but I guess I will see.

Some Times You Have to Make A Judgement Call

I know with all recent events with Duchess and her need to lick constantly at her feel I finally ended up having to use an E-collar to keep her away from her paws. I know for me it is really difficult to make her wear it since I feel like it is difficult for Duchess but I also know that her safety is very important to me as well. I know I feel like a parent during these time and I stress myself out because I don't want to make her wear it but I know at the end of the day I am doing what it best for Duchess which is what is best for both of us in the long run. I know it has been a difficult time getting Duchess back to where her paws are normal. Thankfully her feet are not infected and I do clean then out daily and make sure that I have a good coat of the liquid bandage applied to the spots. It seems to really have helped protect her feet from everything she comes in contact with so far.

                             

I know wearing the E-collar I have noticed she sleeps more but also seems to play more like she used to so overall it was a good decision. Her paws looked really good this morning so maybe a day or two more and I can take the collar back off. I know she has been very patient through out the whole process and does not seem to be too upset by it all. In fact she has been really good through out this whole incident and I know I appreciate her patience while I figured out what would work best for both of us. I know it is difficult using the E-collar she tends to run into everything and has tunnel vision so I spend more time guiding her to avoid hitting things but overall it has been just little adjustments. I know I get the craziest looks when Duchess was going to work and at the grocery store with the collar on but I know it is for the best. I know most people are curious as to why she is wearing the collar and I share I know it is not uncommon for this issue to happen.

Living out of Boxes

I know recently when I go the gym there has been less distractions by other people which is a relief. I know each time I got a new place it seems that most people need to time to adjust to seeing Duchess. I know the staff at this other location has been good they recognize me and Duchess now. I know they never question if I need her which I appreciate but I know they have seen me testing my blood sugar and also treating some lows. So overall this new gym has been a good place to work out once people seemed to get over the initial period where they just have to stop and look at Duchess. I know because there is a very limited number of service dogs in Austin that I know it is very interesting to see one working. I know the interesting thing for me is that I have had no public access issues since I moved which I thought I would have. So I know I am thankful that the recent changes in general have not been bad but very managable. I know I am looking forward to where I am not living out of boxes.

I am really looking forward to September where I can actually unpack my things and finally feel at home. It has been since June since I started living out of boxes and it has not been bad but I like to be able to use my things easily and not have to put them in and out of boxes. I know at least my kindle has made things easier because everything I need is on the device. I am also thankful that I will get a new start as well. Living with my Coworker is fun but I also know I am ready to live with my boyfriend and be able to find new opportunities. I feel like my life with Diabetes will never be easy but with a smaller town might just be more manageable for me to handle. I know Duchess is also seeming like she wants to be able to call some place home and I know she loves where we are going to be living.

Another Jump Scheduled

I am trying to arrange another Sky dive with a friend in Austin. She has never sky dived before so it will be really fun to jump with a friend. I am very fortunate that my boyfriend John loves to sky dive as well and that we can jump together which is really fun. I know taking Duchess with us while we sky dive requires a baby sitter of sorts which worked well. I also learned that having a chair to sit in while we sky dive really helped her to be really calm. I know I am so excited that I will going again for jump number 5. I do plan to do my training for solo sky diving soon which I am so thrilled about. I have to admit jumping by myself will defiantly be interesting but I am learning so much. I know like Diabetes you need to prepared for anything. Sky diving does have its risks but they train you how to handle situations that could arise. I know I am looking forward to being able to do it on my own but I also know that even though I was not in the slightest bit nervous. I know I will be when I do my first solo sky dive with the instructor it will be different that jumping with a tandem instructor. So I am really nervous but really looking forward to the challenges. I think Sky diving and Diabetes are quite a bit a like in many ways such as you have to be prepared for everything I know I try me best to never run out of supplies etc. I also know that sky diving you meet some really interesting people and the same can be said for Diabetics.

I know in sky diving you look for days with good weather conditions and we all know we love the days when our Diabetes behaves the way we want it too. I also have to say that both require a great deal of split second decisions. When you get your parachute tangled up you may need to make a decision to cut away the shoot and use the back up. There is also times with Diabetes where your pump goes bad and then you go back to shots till the replacement shows up. I also know that both require some problem solving abilities. That is why I think my Diabetes prepared me a great deal of ways for Sky Diving which I love. I know I will not have a video of this sky dive but possibly on some future jumps when I am in California.

Unexpected Injury from Playing

I know recently with all the stress of getting ready to move. Some things have crept up. On Monday night I let Duchess play with friend little Anne and it was hot out. I am not sure what happened but she was licking her pay frequently. I took a closer look at her paw which now has some missing skin. So I have put a liquid bandage on which will hopefully help it heal which has in the past. The only issues is that she can't lick the wound after applying it which she has done. So I have to wrap it up. So I tried letting her stay on her dog cot at work but then she removed the bandage. So I moved to her a chair next to me at work which seems to be working.

I know recently we have been having our challenges most because I am so focused on other things. So I know we are just in such a weird spot and I am really short on patience because I am so caught in other things. So I know I need to get back some of my patience at times. I am so excited about the future but I also need to focus on the now as well. So thankfully my friend suggested using a chair which worked while skydiving is working now as well. I am hoping to keep the blanket over her paws a deterrent while I am trying to heal her wound. I am also switching her over to benadryl as well because it seems to curb her constant licking at times. I have noticed my own allergies acting up today as well. I know I am always trying to keep her safe but at times dogs will injure themselves and things can happen even while doing something as simple as playing with her new next door neighbor friend who loves to play.

Taking a Postive Approach

I know at times it is so easy to slip in a bad pattern of all the negatives of Diabetes. I know I feel like I have quite a few reasons to complain. I also know I am blessed in so many ways to have Diabetes because I truly feel like I am a better person because I have had my experiences. I know I feel like my Diabetes makes me more empathetic to others and I most of the time am better at handling things others seem to struggle with it. I know I am more organized except for my 501b purse I carry around which I need to switch to a smaller one for obvious reasons. I know I am more organized and tend to have a back up plan because of my Diabetes. I tend to take on things others would be scared too because Diabetes has up jump through so many hoops to get our medical supplies and to just deal with Dr.'s who make mistakes as well. So we all have all these obstacle from work, school, insurance and other obstacles as well. I know even with all my lows I know I am blessed because of my wealth of knowledge I can share but I also have a unique opportunity to educate others which can be difficult at times.

I know we all struggle with difficult times which I have had my share over the past 35 years. I know I am a better problem solver than most because of my Diabetes and I am also great at coming up with creative fixes for things as well. I know I have had way to many pump clips break and other equipment so at times you have to be creative and this helps me in other areas of my life. I know I come up with some very creative solutions at work and so it helps me in my job most of the time. I also know that Diabetes has taught me to have patience at times because there is days where you have to wait for your blood sugar to come down or wait to continue exercising. I also know overall that I think Diabetics are generally the incredible people who face so many things and make it look easy. I know I make things look easy in some ways but because my Diabetes is not very cooperative it is more obvious now to others that things are not as simple as they appear. I know I will forever be thankful that I have meet so many incredible people who are constantly pushing to do things they dream of.

I know I feel lucky each day to wake up to a life full of challenges but filled with so much more because of it all. I know Diabetes affect everyone in a family and I know my brother and sister are much more patient in general because of how we grew up and the adjustments that had to be made. I know my family is also healthier as well because we eat better growing up. Which in so many ways was good for everyone. I know I can't change that I am a Diabetic but I do have control over how I feel about my Diabetes. I am thankful for the person I am today and I know my Diabetes such a huge part of that.

Just Enjoyed My Weekend

I know with all the work I have been putting getting ready to move I knew I needed to give Duchess some fun time. I know recently as I plan my move and start applying for jobs in Sonoma I needed to have some fun too. I know I want to enjoy my last bit of time before I move away. I know I am trying to get together with friends and it is so strange I am in my last month in town and I should be leaving the first week of September. I am looking forward to all the great time ahead. Duchess loves the water so this past weekend I took her down to the water and she swam after her ball over and over again. She had a great time in the sunshine and with all the people and dogs near bye. I know she loved this time with just me and her having fun in the water. She really seemed to be relieved to have some time just to be a dog and enjoy the really warm weather we are having. I know she has seemed a little unsure of things I know that has to do with the fact that nothing is unpacked and I am living out of boxes.

I know my friends are wonderful that is letting me stay till I get moved which is a blessing and I am truly grateful but I also know I can't wait to get unpacked and then settle in my new home. I know I need this more than I realized up to now. I know I was talking with a friend and they mentioned it must be hard being a guest and trying to prepare for a move that is getting closer. I know I am not as focused at work because of the stuff I must accomplish but I am giving it my best shot and hoping that I am getting it all done. There has been some recent things that have come up with leave time I already was planning so now I will be working one or two days more than I originally planned. I know another day or two won't hurt. I am hoping I can handle all the obstacles as they come. I know I am really hoping I can find a job that will pay enough but also give me more opportunities in the future. I know being new in town I am hoping that I can find what I need. I know administrative work is generally easy to find but I also know not all jobs are great.

Saying Goodbye Can Be Tough

I know I went to my Endocrinologist and saw my Physician Assistant Amy who I love. She has helped me through all my tough times and my good times as well. I know I am blessed beyond belief to have such a wonderful Dr. to have seen the past couple of years. I know my Dr. cried when I told her I was moving. I know I have seen her so much over the past couple of years and she has helped me even on the weekends when necessary because she cares for her patients. I know I was really sad I will be saying goodbye in September. I know I really wish I had her as a Dr. when I was younger because it would have meant I would have gotten what I needed as a patient. I know she has been a great friend and she listens so well. She never let me let my Diabetes stop me from trying new things. I know when I went sky diving for the first time she was supportive because she knew it meant a great deal for to be able to do so. I know I am forever thankful and I know I cried as well because it makes me incredibly sad. I will never forget how much this experience as a patient has changed me.

I know I have one more appointment on September 2nd to have her check my settings before I leave for California. She thought it was a great idea to get everything in good shape before I leave and to get any other prescriptions I might need. I know I don't have a job yet in California but I know I will as quickly as possible. I have ordered 3 months supply of all prescriptions and stock piled all my supplies to be prepared as much as possible. I know the more I feel prepared the better I will feel as I set off on my next adventure in California. I am really looking forward what is to come but sometimes saying goodbye is really difficult and today is one of those days. I know I plan on bringing my favorite cupcakes to my last appointment for all the staff. I know it does not seem like enough but I am hoping they will enjoy them.

Slowing Down Can Be Beneficial

I know I have been doing training at work for the past three days which was pretty intensive. The training goes from 9-4pm with a short lunch break. It really makes for a long day. I sadly had a bad low but the interesting part is that Duchess did alert but I was too much into what I call the fog zone which can happen. I know when the teacher cam in we were supposed to log into the program but she didn't send us a link but just started off quickly before half the class could even log in. So I was trying to find the correct email address the one in the book was incorrect so I had not idea what the address was. Then because of the stress there went my blood sugar. because I could not figure it out. I know I was stressed after all the training and hours of hours of focus from the day before. The good part my coworker noticed I was treating it when Duchess was alerting the bad part they moved forward with the class while I was getting my blood sugar back up which took around two hours. Luckily my coworker sat next to me while we worked through the exercises I needed to do for the class.  I know after a half an hour I was able to jump back in on my own. I did help with the exercises but I was exhausted.

Thankfully Duchess is on top of my blood sugars again today she has not missed on since I started the allergy medication which is more like her old self. I know from now on she will be on medication to keep her happier and also able to alert. I did not realize that the allergies were bothering her so much. I know because our dogs are unable to tell us they don't feel good it can be easy to miss. I try my best to notice things but at times I am so busy trying to do everything I can miss things. I know I try my best to do what I can for Duchess. I know I learned a lesson that at times slowing down can be beneficial for us both. I know I am thankful that thing are getting back to normal. I know I was not sure why Duchess was waiting so long to alert but it does make sense.

Why Duchess Has Not Been Feeling Well

I know recently I have noticed some issues with Duchess alerting from time to time since our move. I thought she just needed some time so I made a call to the trainer yesterday. She told me several things to check out if she has allergies she might be stuffed up and can't smell things like she normally would or she could be in pain from an injury or illness. She is very good alerter so I was worried sick trying to figure it out. I know she recommended I start with some Zyrtec so I did last night. I know my vet said she could have allergy medicine when needed. So I thought I would give it a try. Sure enough she is a different dog today she is back to her energetic self and she could smell my blood sugar without being on top of me most of the time. She seems to be back to her normal self I am getting steady alerts and quite early. So to say I am relived is an understatement. I know there is so many things that can affect if your dog will continually alert and everything the trainer said could be true.

I know I do my best to take Duchess to the vet and I do have pet insurance to be safe. I need a plan to help make things more affordable if something did happen and Duchess insurance has really helped. So far nothing has happened but if something does it feels good to have a good plan in place. I know you never know if your dog will need surgery for an injury or physical therapy for an injury. I know I do plan on seeing how I can make things as easy for both Duchess and I because proper health care for a service dog is essential. So I am glad that I have my plan but also thankful that it turned out to be something so simple. I never thought about when you move that the allergens they may be exposed to could be different as well. So I know I am trying to make sure I give her allergy medicine nightly to avoid her being drowsy when she is working. I know even with having Duchess 5 years I am still constantly learning and still making mistakes. I know I feel so much better to know that Duchess is back to her old self again.

Some Times Slowing Down is Good

I know this past weekend had quite a few surprises that came up. I know Duchess is always so ready to work and very energetic but this past weekend she was not. So we ended up reducing her work time and I let her sleep and the next day we did a very light duty again and she slept more as well. Today she seems to be back to her normal self which is wonderful. I am thinking she was sick which does happen. I know I have other pets in the past get sick and so her getting sick was no surprise. I normally am very busy on the weekends but it was nice for me as well to stop and enjoy some time doing things I do enjoy as well. I have been so busy getting everything ready for the move that I have not been able to have as much fun. I know I need to get together with my friends before I move and got to some of my favorite places. I know I feel really great with how much I have accomplished so far. I am feeling like I am as ready as I will be for the move.

So now I am onto getting job applications submitted before I leave. I know I am much more comfortable with having a job before I move but in this case I knew I would have time to apply before I was leaving and that should help. I also for the first time in my life purchased a professionally done resume and hoping that will help make the job hunt a little easier. I know I am excited about all the changes. I know Duchess getting sick happens but I am trying to manage to only do a limited number of things in one weekend so I don't cause issues for both of us. I know I had a not so great weekend of lows that were sticking around for hours which is not fun. Thankfully I was eventually able to get them back up to normal. I did lower the basal several time and I am finally waking up a little higher which is great. So I am making progress but very slowly. 

Duchess and Continuing Changes

I know with all the recent changes Duchess seems to be changing as well. I have noticed that she is not sure of what is really going on so her alerting patterns have changed. She used to remind me if I forgot to give her a treat for an alert when I am low this does happen even though I try my best to not let this happen. I know I have been trying to continue her scent training but she seems to be uninterested with it all these days which worries me to an extent. I also know that I don't know what to expect from all the changes as well. So I am sure that this experience has been really difficult for Duchess. I know I am doing my best to get her back to some sore of routine but it does not help that half my stuff is packed up and is in boxes to be ready for the big move. So I know this living in limbo has changed things for Duchess. Keep in mind she is not missing alerts she is just a little more resistant to doing her normal scent training. I know the most important thing is that she is alerting.

I know my goal once we get to California is to get a routine for Duchess because she does well when she knows what to expect. I know she loves the location we are going to be living so she will feel at home pretty quickly and I am planning on setting up her dog cot and dog toys in an area she can play in. I want to make sure I do the best job of getting her back to the normal as much as possible but this will also be a great time to switch some things up and make her life easier as well. The nice part of the move is that she will have more area to play in than she currently does at my friends place and she will have a back yard to play in as well.

So it will some what like she is used to. I know she tends to be so used things they way they used to be. I know all this will take some time but at least she is alerting well and she also has tended to be ever more loving during all these changes. I know she is confused by all the boxes being around and we only have one more month of boxes in August then we will be on our way to California.  I know I have to say having a Diabetic alert dog has never been easy especially during changes like I am experiencing now.  I know I am learning as well through this process so I am always just trying to make the best decisions I can for Duchess and hoping that I don't make any mistakes along the way. The relationship with a DAD is very a complicated one and I know each dog is different.

When The Beeping is Too Much

I know at times my devices drive me crazy. I get tired of hearing the beeping or the alerts. I get tired of the Dexcom being wrong most of the time but I am really just tired of dealing the fact that I live my life between the lines. I know these goals do help me to keep my Diabetes in check and do help me keep my Alc where I like it to be but at times it can be really overwhelming dealing with it all the time. I know I have been very dependent on my Dexcom and I am still am even with the increased exercise. I also know that I do benefit from the device but I also feel like I have a screaming two year that I take everywhere with me. Even to meeting, concerts etc. and it tends to go off at the worst moments. I know I love having the graphs and the information I need to make changes.

I know I will always have a love hate relationship with my Dexcom because it shows me where I messed up or where I did things well. I know it provides the Dr. and I very important information. I know at times I tend to get rather irritated with things and I know with my up coming Endocrinologist appointment my irritation with my device tends to grow.  So I am hoping once I do get to my appointment I will find peace again with my Dexcom. I know having to constantly look at a device is complicated when I am busy working and sometimes I don't look at it very often and that's when things tend to sneak up on me. I know like when I am skydiving I need to check on it frequently but at times just keeping up with the Diabetes stuff plus getting ready to move can be a great deal to deal with.

I know I don't feel burned out just really wanting to be able to enjoy my time while I am here in Austin. I guess we all have out times of just pure annoyance but I also know I am lucky to have the equipment I need and the flexibility to use them as I need. I know I feel fortunate to have the option to deal with my Diabetes. I know I am sure I will be some what annoyed by all machines I have but I also know I am taking better care of myself by using them even though the drive me crazy.

Back to Low Pattern

I know at times my blood sugar will cooperate but I know recently even with all the changes to come. I am finding that I am back into a low pattern again even with constant basal changes I can't seem to keep up with the changes. I am lowering my dosages as fast as possible but at times finding the right dosage without going high over night can be challenging. I know I am reducing my basal at a very quick rate but I also know that my recent weight loss some planned and other was not planned. So I am sure I will be needing less and have been working out probably longer than I need to. I know this week I am working out a little shorter period of time and seeing how I do in the hopes that will help to avoid lows as much.

I also know I am doing more to get ready for my move as well and it can be difficult to plan for everything possible but all I can do is give it my best try. I know I have gotten so much done I won't have much left to do except possibly this next weekend which is great. I am always wanting to keep things simple as possible with this move and the next adventures to come but each time changes come most of the time I don't have a great pattern or solution except to test until I get it right. So I am working on it looking at graphs blood sugars and other information I do have. I know reviewing has helped quite a bit but at times it can just be overwhelming. I know keeping up with the changes right now feels like a full time job not including my real full time job. I am hoping to find some balance soon.

Blood Sugar and Up Coming Appointment

It seems like at times I do really well with my blood sugars and other times not so much. I know the past couple of months have been good but when I stop my regular exercise routine and then start again it usually equals some bad lows. I know I have had my share recently. I also know I am working hard to get my blood sugars to a safer range than I have been having. I know I have had several in the 30 range blood sugars even with adjustments. I also know then I have had some big bounces upwards after the fact because I was treating and it took quite a while to go back up. I know in the future when they have low dose glucagon shot I know I will be using them because at times it would be nice to not stay low for several hours and then feel not so great when I start to soar upwards again.

I know for me the worst part is that I have my blood draw on Saturday for my Endocrinologist visit on the 31st. I know my blood sugar have been higher because I was running higher during my vacation which I really did not put as much effort into watching as I normally would do. It was a really nice to just have some time where I was not checking my Dexcom every five minutes. Event though it was not the best decision it was nice in some ways. I never really take a vacation from it but even not obessessing about it as often was really nice. I have a feeling though that the lows and highs will balance themselves out. I am not forcing a big change but I am always so worried. I am also incredibly sad to say goodbye to my Favorite Endocrinologist I have ever had and my favorite PA who have made my life better and solved some really complicated issues. Every time I think back they always squeezed me in and let me send in Dexcom info in between appointments because they care about me as the patient. It was such a wonderful experience.

I know I have been so blessed to have found these Dr.'s who have made my life better and provided me the opportunity to encourage me to continue to do things I do love. I am sad to be leaving Austin in September but also incredibly excited for all the new opportunities to come. I know being unable to move up or have new opportunities has really affected my in some many ways so this opportunity to start again will be incredible. I don't think I have ever said I will miss two Dr.'s but I will and that really says a great deal about who they are as physician's. The staff is also incredible as well I really hit the lottery with this group and I am hoping I can find this in California as well. I know I would not handle a Dr. saying I am a bad patient or uncompliant. I will fire them if necessary but hoping I can just get a Dr. who was understanding as this group was because at the end of the day living my life according to my own terms is very important to me as the patient.  

Issues I am Creating and Big Changes Coming in My life

I know recently I have been facing one big challenge which is actually myself. I am in a not so great place when it comes to dealing with what I consider to be a high blood sugar. I know I have never dealt with high blood sugars because my physicians made me feel like I was a bad person because I was high. So when I went on vacation I was really bad about pre-bolusing as usual and it ended up causing several highs which made me feel really crummy. So now I am thankfully back to my normal routine including going to the gym and eating what I normally do. I have a Dr. appointment at the end of this month and with the high blood sugars so close to my blood draw I am worried about a higher A1c but it is normally in great range but I know I tend to get upset if I even feel like it will not be what I am used to.

So now I feel like I am back to where I started at the beginning of the year with the same issue and feeling completely deflated by it all. I know normally I am able to take on challenges like this and seem to be able to put things in a different perspective but this one is incredibly challenging. I have been tabling the feelings I feel when I get blood sugars I don't like I do know things happen we under bolus or we over bolus and we have a bad infusion set. I know my expectations for my Diabetes at time is highly unrealistic and this leaves me with a bigger burden of feeling like I am failing myself. I also can make my self feel burned out if I keep up this mind set. I know I need to work on this but I am so distracted by some really exciting changes coming my way.

I am making major changes in my life in this coming September. I am moving to Sonoma California to be with my long term boyfriend John after 3 1/2 years of being together. So I am looking forward to this change. Since I never unpacked my things I am now having to reduce what I have further to prepare for my move from Texas to California here shortly. So  now I am trying to get everything ready for my move and also make sure I have everything ready for my move and also prepare for my new life in California. I am so distracted by all these wonderful things and so I know I need to deal with this as well. I know I have so much going on at times it can be a little much. I know at the beginning of September my blog post will be lessened because of my move and all the changes in my life I will try and get back to my normal blogging as soon as possible. I am looking at reducing the amount of blogs because I am trying to get my life to a more manageable place.

Keep in mind I am in a place right now I am evaluating my life which will also include my blog as well. I do plan to keep on blogging but how much I am not sure as of yet. I will keep you all updated as much as I can during this process.

Sky Diving Jump Three

I know my third jump while on vacation was the most exciting. I was wearing a device called Altimeter which helps you to know how far you are at that moment. Normally you want to pull around 6-5 to give yourself enough time to land safely. I was using it to help me become aware of where I am in the process of the sky dive. I know when you solo sky dive you need to know when to pull the parachute and that is done by being altitude awareness. I know I was teaching my self every couple of seconds to turn my wrist so I could see where I was altitude wise as I was jumping. The teacher mike is an AFF instructor so we practiced normal things that are in the actual tests. I practiced pulling the chute and I also practiced looking at him and letting him know what I was going to do by saying it loudly and then doing it. That will help you to remember how to do it and also get you think to do it with little thought.



                                     

I know I was also able to track where I needed to land by looking for very specific landmarks that are close to the landing area. I know he pointed out a gas plant and other landmarks near by so I could see how I need to start to get myself in certain area as I am getting close to landing. We also practiced being able to land the parachute which I will learn how to do during my AFF training but pulling down on the toggles is not very easy for two people but I was still able to practice doing so. So I learned so much from what I was taught and I just so excited each time I get to do more. I know I have so much still to learn but thankfully most people are willing to share what they have learned from their experiences. I know when I was hanging out at Lodi near Stockton California I was able to meet so many experienced jumpers as well as newbies like me. I know I am proud I have not let my Diabetes stop me from pursuing things I love to do.