The Struggle with Getting Family to Understand.

I know my vacation has been some what stressful. I know my recent low made me realize how little my family knows. My sister said I needed a new insulin pump because I had a low. She thought my pump turns off when low or would be able to stop it some how. I know the idea of the artificial pancreas is great but sadly it's not here yet. I know I told them when I got my Animals Ping it allowed me more freedom and had temp basals etc. So I was so surprised by my sister's comments. I also realized that my father has no real understanding of my CGM. They even with explanation seemed to not really understand all the benefits of the devices. My family seemed to not understand a big part of my life. I know they most likely never will.

So as I prepare for my trip home tomorrow. I am very thankful for the DOC because you understand in ways that my family never will. I am also thankful that I live further away from my family so I can find the space I need to handle my Diabetes. I have handled everything by myself for a long time. I know I wish they could be a little more understanding. I think they believe that after 34 years these lows should not happen.

Holidays and Reminders

At times it's a great reminder that when you have a Diabetic alert dog you need to be careful what your family tells your alert dog. I noticed that my dad is telling Duchess to go away several times. The danger in doing so is that when an emergency arrives . Success really listens when you tell her things and the message she is getting is not positive when you are telling her to go away. She depends upon trusting the person she might alert too. I know my dad was thinking about what he is telling her. I know Duchess reminded me again how important our words to Duchess are. I know I feel so fortunate to have Duchess in my life. Getting my family on board to understand three reasoning behind why I do things can be difficult.

I hope everyone is enjoying time with your family's tonight. I know I can't wait till I see my nephew opening presents tomorrow. I also looking forward to spending time with my family, aunts,uncles and  cousins. I know I am looking forward tomore good times. Hope everyone is enjoying the holidays!!!

Major Setback

I know my trip home has had some speed bumps along the way. I knew that would be the case. Last time was easier in that my grandma has a lot less rules. Having Duchess with me in circumstances like these can be complicated. I know she is used to having free reign of my house. So it has been challenging to say the least. I know I hate when I am away from home at times because it is easier  to maintain my normal routine. I know recently I have had occasion also lows. Sadly I had a bad low on Sunday afternoon. I had to church with my dad and nephew. Then we went to get some Christmas shopping done. I had some crazy movements in blood sugar after eating cereal. Sometimes I can eat with no problems other times it can cause me issues. Then my pump site went bad all after eating breakfast.

Normally if I was going to go shopping after church I would have eaten oatmeal or things which seem to keep me level. I was rushed that morning. I remember the ride home after shopping and then I came out of it as the EMS showed up. My blood sugar was 26. I thought it was interesting that the paramedic s thought it was unusual to be talking at blood sugar of 26 but  I have low and holding conversation. I know that my exercising is also why I bounced back quickly as well. They treated me as normally would. The paramedic called in to the Dr. Because I went AMA. I refused transport to the hospital. The Dr. Insisted that I needed to be seen I have these issues occasionally. I know he was pushy but I told him the only thing they would do is tell me to follow up with my Dr. I also know the Dr. was already making assumptions which would mean a lecture and saying I was not in control. I honestly know I would shut down the Dr and, be wasting time and money.

After my past couple experiences I was not willing to take carp and judgement from a Dr. Not familiar with my case. I also know that this time I did not over dose for food or have Insulin onboard at the time. I have a feeling it was related to being off schedule and extra activity. I told my family where my glucagon was located when I first got in town but they said they forgot. I know the glucagon would have been less dramatic and less stressful. I am hoping to get things back in order quickly. I am glad it's almost Christmas. Then a great deal of the stress will be gone.  I think my Dad called every relative in town to tell them what happened. I know at Christmas I will not be discussing what happened because they all do not seem to understand what my life is like. I know times like these I am so thankful to have all my Diabetic friends.

Getitng Ready to Go

I was putting the last couple of items in my suit case this morning. Duchess knew we were going some where when I got out my suitcase. She has been watching me even though I have never left here and flown without here but she has been on high alert watching me everyday start to get things organized and set up to leave. I normally get so stressed trying to have everything done before I leave but this time because I am getting over a cold I decided to take it as I get what I get done. That way I am not stressed. I know I sleep better last night because I was not stressed out about making my flight and getting things done. I know this year has been so much better than the past two for lows. I also have seen the number of lows drop at night this week so the changes I have been making seem to be helping. I am worried about waking up my dad at night because of my loud Dexcom. I normally leave it on vibrate but it is below 55 it can be so loud.

I guess it can be a good reminder that I do have more lows and that it is just a part of my life these days. I have been able to reduce the number dramatically from what it used to be. I know Duchess and my Dexcom have all helped me to make the proper adjustments as necessary. I am so happy that I have so far been able to make my December a little easier. I never was late for work because of a bad morning low. So I am making progress one day at a time. I know with continued work I will figure things out. I am thankful for all that I have been able to handle. I know figuring out to have less lows while working out was the most difficult but I am so thankful I did. I know my exercise during these past couple of months have really helped me to stay safer in a great deal of ways.

I know I can't wait to leave for my trip home. It will be great to see my family and just have some time to relax. I know I have to do a great deal of shopping when I get in but I am sure that will be fine. I know I am looking forward to hanging out with my very energetic nephew. He always says the cutest things. I have been really looking forward to my trip and its finally here.

Thankful For What I Have

I know recently I have been so busy getting ready to go on my trip. I forgot my pump at home again and it is also the day of my holiday party at work. So sadly I am trying to wing it for the day with injections instead of my pump. I know days like these are fabulous reminder to count my blessings. I love having an insulin pump and I know there has been times where I could not afford it.

So I feel incredibly blessed that I have my Diabetic alert dog Duchess, my Dexcom G4 and my Animas One Touch Ping. I am blessed to be able to afford to have all this technology when others have trouble getting insulin. I know as the holidays approach I like to think about all the reasons I am blessed beyond belief. I also have wonderful friends in the DOC and also friends who are not Diabetic. I am also thankful for my Dr. office they keep sane in the middle of the chaos I call Diabetes. I know as I prepare to leave for my extended holiday vacation I am also reminded that I am lucky to have a week and half of paid time off and the ability to take more time off. This really gives me an opportunity to see my family and enjoy the holidays.

I know everyday I feel thankful that I have Duchess she has been with me through some of very rough patches and then kept me seizure free for over two years. I am thankful for her dedication and hard work but I am most thankful for her companionship. Sometimes being seen as disabled person it can be very isolating people seem to view you as not approachable or other preconceived ideas they have of a disabled person. I am thankful for Duchess personality because she does some of the craziest things that just make me laugh and she reminds everyday to look at the big picture. She also does some of the weirdest things at times that I have never seen another dog do. I think she thinks she is one of us.

Suprise A Cold

Well I have been so busy getting ready to go and even started to drink Emergency C in preparation for my up coming flight but it was too late. My roommate brought home a cold and spread it to everyone in the house. I told him to stay away from me when he is sick because the Methotrexate I take compromises my immune system further. So I am still taking the emergency and drinking a great deal of fluids. I am hoping I will be back to my normal routine soon enough. I know once I start to feel a cold going to the gym is out of the question. I have been blessed the my blood sugars have not been to wonky over the weekend for the most part. I had a great deal of lows on Saturday so I stayed home and rested. Which probably was helpful. I had no idea I had a cold until Saturday morning and I was only sneezing occasionally. Then Sunday I woke up felt fine and as I hit Sunday night is when I noticed more of the symptoms coming on. Sunday I was busy packing and getting ready for my trip.

My goal for this week is to get the couple of things done tonight so that on Tuesday night I am not driving myself crazy trying to do too many things before I leave town. I always bath Duchess the night before we leave to help people with dog allergies. I also cleaned her dog vest as well. I always try to make sure when I am traveling that I make it as easy as possible for everyone around me. Duchess is ready to go already she was packing some of her toys the only issues is she wants to take all of her toys which is way too much. Thankfully she seemed to get that she could only take a few toys with her.

I know I am trying to make sure I rest up as much as possible but still get all my work done and all the last details before I leave on Wednesday. I know I got a great deal done this weekend so I really only have several small things to accomplish. Thankfully Duchess seems to be aware of my cold and seems to be on high alert so far nothing really dramatic so far. I know I will probably have to use a temp basal today which is fine.  I normally do not have this many colds and I hate knowing that the Methotrexate which really helps me is also playing a role in me getting another cold.

Back to Night Time Lows

I have been working hard to keep my blood sugars from being low but for the past week it has been low even with making adjustments daily. I dropped it several units down on each setting but no improvement yet. I also know working out tends to cause issues at night since I am working out around 7pm at night. Some times if I am lucky I will get to the gym around 6:45pm if possible. I am finding that every night after 12pm I nose dive so I am reducing my insulin up three hours before but I am still dropping. So I am continuing to reduce in hopes I might find just the right settings. I am thankful that I am not battling the issues like I was last year. So I am spending more time reviewing my Dexcom graphs and trying new things.

I know I am the only person who can change things right now. I know I can call my Dr. send Dexcom information and they will do the changed but I really like to figure it out on my own. I normally can figure it out but it does take some time to figure it out but I will not give up. I know recently I have been so focused on making sure I get to the gym I have no paid as much attention to the lows after working out. Most of the time I have been able to find the right settings but with all the activity and preparing to leave around the holidays. It has taken me longer than I like.

So I am hoping I will find the solution when I look at my Dexcom graphs and review my blood sugars tonight. I am really getting excited about my trip back home next Wednesday. So I am hoping to get things as smoothed out as possible before I leave.

Article About Service Dogs

I read an article today about how service do really do love to work. I think a great deal of people I have meet think having a service dog is mean. I have found from my experience that Duchess is the happiest dog I have ever owned. I know it relates to her having a purpose and a job. I know each day she gets up and is excited she gets to go to work with me. I know there are morning it is cold and she does not want to leave because the weather but she still wants to go regardless. Overall Duchess loves the constant companionship of being around me all day and most of the time I feel the same way. We do have our moments when we get on each other nerves but that is part out of being a team. I know a great deal of people think that service dogs work 24 -7 but they do get downtime. I know with my schedule I do give her hours each night where she can just be a dog. Having down time is necessary for all of us and Duchess is no different. I am thankful everyday that she is so willing to go to work with me. She is always excited even though there could be scary moments.

I have meet so many people who worry that being a service dog is bad for Duchess's health but I find the opposite to be true. She exercises more frequently, eats high quality food that is measured, is examined for any issues regularly and learns new things frequently. These all help to keep her lean, catch issues sooner for medical issues and also keep her mind active. I know so many people make assumptions that just are not true. What they don't understand is that we both benefit from our partnership.

http://www.anythingpawsable.com/ragen-mcgowan-study-service- dog/  

I am still not a hundred percent sure what happened with Duchess this past weekend. I have been making her rest more and now she seems to be getting back to normal. She is full of energy and is back to running around like she normally does. I always worry that she injured herself after two incidents earlier this year where she had soft tissue damage when she was out playing in the back yard. So I am really relieved with up coming travel and flights that she is better. I know she is very active so the past couple of days seems to have been difficult for her but I also know that if she rests and it allows her to heal up faster. The interesting part of the past couple of days is that even though I know she was not feeling great she never stopped alerting.

I know I plan on continuing to limit her activity at least till the end of the week just to make sure if she did injure herself that we are not making it worse by allowing her to play vigorously. I know Duchess is really hyper when she does play ball she tends to get way too excited and I worry now about what will happen. I am extremely fortunate she did not seem to injure herself bad enough to go to the vet last time she was on pain medication and other medications for several weeks. I know I prefer for my best friend to be injury free. I know as Duchess ages I will need to be careful about what I allow her to do. She seems to be getting injuries so much easier these days.

Good News Everything Was Normal

I went to have my ultra sound yesterday and everything came back normal which is really good news. I am not completely comfortable sharing what the issue is currently. With the good news means that I had to be prepared to make a decision for options to address the issues I have been experiencing. The options all have draw backs or possible side effects. So my choice is not easy and I don't know what I will experience and not experience. So I was faced with knowing which option I was going to go with the Dr. and I discussed the options available and any questions I had. So I am going to go forward with the option I thought would be best but I also and not sure I picked the right option per say but I will know in January once I get the small procedure done.

At this point I am thankful that everything was fine. I am going to question how everything is until I get to find out if the option I picked will work for me. I am really hoping this will fix my issue so I can get back to focusing on what I am more familiar with my Diabetes. I know this is just another thing I will deal with but if it works I won't have to worry about it for several year which is nice. I know as a Diabetic some side issues can end up taking a back seat which is what happened because I just did not have enough time to delve into the issue. I am glad I was able to get this done before my work really gets busy. Which is s a real blessing. It is sad that I plan my appointments around my schedule of the busy times at work. I know if something really important comes up I do address it.

I have to admit I was extremely nervous yesterday and I am extremely relieved. I think that the Diabetes things are much easier for me to stomach than other things that can come up. I know I learned a great deal from yesterday experience and again I was reminded how much Duchess does for me. She really helps me to keep busy and she keep me really more laid back during these nervous times. I know I have to admit I depend upon her emotionally more than I realize at times. She is always with me not matter the situation. So that is a true blessing.

Crazy Blood Sugars/ Duchess and Injuries again

I had a busy weekend of a great deal of things I needed to get done. I then started having issues with lows that were lasting for hours. The bad part is that I would eat as little as possible but even with watching how many carbs I still ended up spiking. One was a bad spike to 300 then a quick drop back down to 50. I spend both Saturday and Sunday fighting lows and highs. Then it seems to be starting up again today. The interesting thing is that I did not eat anything that normally would spike my blood sugar and I actually have not idea why the crazy blood sugars. The interesting things is that I was not stressed at all in fact I got more accomplished than I thought I would. The best part is that I am now a little more prepared for my upcoming trip home to Seattle. I know I am really looking forward to the time off to relax and have some fun. I just need more cooperation from my blood sugars but I feel blessed because right now things are much calmer than last December when I was having a great deal of bad lows in the early morning hours.

It seems Duchess might have injured herself sometime this weekend. She is occasionally whining. I am not sure what she did because I did not see when it happened. So I am not sure if she has soft tissue damage to her leg again or if she did something else. I am hoping that if I do end up going to the vets that the process can be taken care of quickly so Duchess is back to her normal self. I depend upon her more than I like to admit and I know that as she ages she is more likely to have injuries like these. It does not help that Duchess thinks she is 6 month old puppy who can do anything.

Hoping my best friend is feeling better her soon. I know I am making her have more down time so she can rest and hopefully heal. It is nice that we are only working a portion of the day I have an ultra sound today and so we will only be working several hours and then leaving for the day. The only good part of that is that Duchess will have more time to rest. I know last night I was trying to keep her on the bed and not allowing her to move around much. I know Duchess does not like to rest but I will make sure she does as little as possible with not play time at work because she can injure herself further. That is her favorite time of the day is when we play. Last time it took two weeks to heal so hoping we can get her back to normal a little quicker this time.

Creating Emergency Plans for Work

I am back to working on my emergency plan for work which I have been working on and on for a while. There was one created by some one else but I found it to give too much of my personal information away and also asked people to do things they would not normally ask of them. Thankfully I am working on a version of my emergency plan for work that I am comfortable with currently.  Making an emergency plan that is easy to read during an emergency can be a little difficult. I did provide pictures of my pump, and Dexcom in case EMS asks what they are. They usually can tell what the Insulin pump is but the Dexcom seems to be the one they are unfamiliar with. I am really trying to make the form as simple as possible so I don't overwhelm people who might be trying to help me.

I know this process of creating the forms can be very difficult because everyone wants the instructions this way or that way which makes it difficult for me to create what will work for everyone. So at this point I gave up and I am trying to do it in the best way I can. I know people learn things differently so I have pictures when possible for people who learn by seeing and written instruction when they prefer written instructions.

I know updating the instructions as this time is difficult because I think I should be getting my Animas Vibe in January right after the training. So I will need to update the instructions I just finished. Thankfully I will not get another pump until June of 2016. So I won't have to update the sheet after I get my new pump. I like to identify the pump so they know if EMS asks questions. I know it probably makes things easier as well if they know what an item is. I know most people at work do not seem to notice my pump much. So showing pictures can be helpful.

When Other Things Show Up

I know at times when other things happen medically that is not associated with Diabetes it can really send you into a tailspin at times. I know recently I have had an issue for a while that I kept putting off because frankly I was tired of dealing with all the appointments, equipment and other items. I knew the Dr. was going to tell me that yes I will need other things to be checked out before we can determine the solution. With it being in the middle of the holidays it can be even more overwhelming when I am trying to rush to get an ultrasound done before I leave for my vacation.

I know I also was given all this medical pamphlets to review and I am supposed to be able to tell the Dr. by next Monday what option I want to go with. So all this information is swirling in my head and I am just trying to make the best decision for me. I know sadly no one my friends have had to choose these options so I having to go off reviews and other information which I have found to make things worse.

I know with all this recent appointments and other decision I had to make it has taken some of the intense focus on my Diabetes away. Which has been nice but I am also making sure to keep myself safe by keeping up with my exercise and trying to keep the stress down. I know until now I did not realize how focused I am just on my Diabetes and how some of the less noticeable issues I tend to avoid until it is screaming for my attention to an extent.

So I know I should have done a better job of following up but at times I feel like I live at the Dr.'s. I do well with the annual eye exams, dental visits and other things but sometimes I fall behind with things like I will deal with it when I go in my annual exam etc. I am going to try and work on this. I am not looking forward to my ultrasound, but I know I will have more upcoming appointments. I am not looking forward too, but I am thankful that at least on the Diabetes front I am not burnt out right now. I am looking forward to getting this problem addressed so I can just have the one constant thing I am used to dealing with.

I Saw Myself in the Article

I know I read an article yesterday that made my cry. I know sadly I saw myself in the article except I was a teenage is the only difference. I know I was probably depressed for around 4 years before my parents even noticed. I know have dealt with depression through most of my time as a Diabetic. When I was a young child with Diabetes through the year I was never once asked about I was doing emotionally with handling my chronic condition which makes so sad that no one cared enough for me as the patient to even check. I did see some really knowledgeable physicians but they were really terrible about getting what it must be like to be the patient instead I got you are a bad person because your A1c was not where they wanted it to be. Thankfully today the Endocrinologist are at least starting to understand that they can't ignore the elephant in the room because the elephant can make things even more difficult to manage.

I have spent more time dealing with depression as I have gotten complications but I know that is not because my Endocrinologist does not address the issues. in fact I am beyond blessed because they always ask me how I am doing and if I feel like things are getting to be too much. They always try to find ways to help me find balance with my chronic illness. I know that I will always deal with burn out and depression but I also know that if I have a plan of action in place I can still continue to manage my Diabetes while dealing with elephant in the room. I know it can be so difficult to deal with as a child and I know that for a parent it would be incredibly difficult. I know at 18 I finally was treated for my depression and I had to go to counseling and take antidepressants. I know I still use some of the advice I received in counseling back then today.

I know dealing with any illness can affect so much of any one's life. I know dealing with my depression was difficult and not only affect me but also my family. I know it was difficult for my parents to deal with but I am glad we talked about it openly as well. I am very aware that some antidepressants can affect young children in a negative way as well. So getting on the proper medication would essential to getting the proper treatment. There is so much to finding a good balance when having Diabetes and finding what you need to be happy at times can be the most challenging. I know my heart breaks reading the story and I know I relate the child in the story more that I like to admit. I know that mental illness have always had this blame mentality attached to it when there really should be no blame.

http://asweetlife.org/feature/when-type-1-diabetes-is-too-much-for-a-child-to-bear/

Animas Vibe

I have been waiting anxiously for the Animas Vibe to finally be approved and it finally has been. I know when I bought the Animas One Touch Ping I purchased it because I had heard about the Dexcom was going to be intergrated with the Animas product and decided I liked the idea I could upgrade when the Animas Vibe came out. I was told the upgrade total would be 99.00 dollars which is pretty reasonable. So I called in yesterday to order the Animas Vibe I was so excited that I can get the intergrated system that actually has the more reliable Dexcom Sensor. I have tried Medtronics in the past and ended up only using the pump feature because the system was terrible. I am sure there has been improvements but not enough for me to change.

I have not upgraded under the ezAcess Pump Upgrade program with Animas before. I just bought my Animas One Touch Ping in 2012. The program works that the cost is 799.00 but there is the option for a rebate when you send in your old Animas Ping for $700.00. The final cost after rebate will be $99.00 dollars plus tax. The bad part is that you need to have $799.00 on your card Available for the full purchase price. Then once they receive you Animas Ping they will then process your rebate. Rebate takes from 4-6 weeks according to the forms I was filling out.

Below is from the Animas Website about upgrading but it does not list the Animas Vibe option just yet. I know I was told my Animas Vibe will ship out in January. I know I can't wait till I get my new pump seems like it took forever to get the integrated version.

Our ezAccess Upgrade Program makes it possible for current Animas pumpers to experience our latest pumping technology. Interested in upgrading to a OneTouch^® Ping^™ glucose management system? See upgrade details or call us at 1-877-937-7867, option 3.

Animas Insulin Pump Upgrade Details

The date of the original purchase of your Animas^® insulin pump will determine the cost of a OneTouch Ping system:
Purchased less than 12 months: $399.00
12 to 23 months from original purchase date: $599.00
24 to 35 months from original purchase date: $799.00
36 to 47 months from original purchase date: $999.00

The above insulin pump upgrade details are effective November 2008; pricing, terms and conditions for the Animas^® ezAccess Upgrade Program are subject to change, at any time, without notice.

Terms and Conditions for ezAccess Upgrade Program:

Billing: Once your new OneTouch Ping ships, your credit card will be billed.
Warranty: The remaining warranty on your current Animas pump will apply to your new OneTouch Ping.
Insurance: This is not a reimbursable program and Animas Corporation is not able to bill insurance for the ezAccess Upgrade Program.
Trade In: You are required to return your current Animas insulin pump within 30 days of receipt of your new OneTouch Ping to:
Animas Corporation
200 Lawrence Drive
West Chester, PA 19380.

A postage paid envelope with delivery confirmation will be provided. If you do not return your old Animas insulin pump, you will be billed for the full amount of the new OneTouch Ping glucose management system.

Exclusions: The ezAccess Upgrade Program is not a covered benefit under the Medicare and Medicaid programs. Patients covered by Medicare and Medicaid are not eligible for this program. November 2008; pricing, terms and conditions for the Animas^® ezAccess Upgrade Program are subject to change, at any time, without notice.

Goals for This Month

My goal this December is too keep my life as stress free as possible even with all the recent changes at work. I know so far I have been able to feel less stressed by having all my shopping list done already and shipping items home for Christmas so it will be there when I arrive. I am trying to carry very little with me on the plane and to avoid any issues if possible. The past two years I had great issue with bad lows during the beginning of December but I know with working out I feel like I am helping to keep my stress down and I also have a budget as well. Since I have taken the time to create lists of what I want to purchase and the amount I am looking to spend I feel like I am doing quite well. I also am getting as much done before I have to fly instead of last minute the night before I leave if I can stay as relaxed a possible I know this will help me navigate a fun but challenging time of year. I also have a plan for all basal changes as well last year I dropped 6-8 units off my normal basal rate so I am expecting to need to drop it another couple of units in the next two weeks.

I think I feel more confident because I have a plan of action and I also know that keeping my stress down will really make my holiday a little easier. I know I already finished shopping for my best friend Duchess I love spoiling her and she really deserves every bit of extra I can give her. I know with all the upcoming travel I am already getting together all her records I travel with and also all the items Duchess will need for the travel to Seattle for Christmas. It is hard to believe it is already December and I am trying to get it done so quickly. I know if I don't finish my shopping before I leave for Seattle I can finish it there which is nice. I am trying to keep in mind that most things can wait and will be accomplished but not always as quick as I might want. I am looking forward to my vacation but I am also hoping to keep my self as safe as possible as well.